I was never a perfect girl. Never a perfect daughter, a perfect friend, or a girlfriend, or a citizen of the country.

I had flaws. Too many to mention, as a matter of fact.

However, despite my imperfections, I had people who loved me for me. People who were already a huge part of my life. And without them, I wouldn't be who I was.

Among these people was my big brother slash senpai, Imayoshi Shouichi. The third year captain and point guard of Touo Academy Basketball Team.

Well, the super smart senpai of everybody.

I loved him. Really.

As a friend and as a big brother. No more, no less.

"Ugh." I groaned miserably, burying my face in the softness of my pillow. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to cry but, somehow, I couldn't. "Why is this happening to me?"

Imayoshi-senpai's words never left my not-so-brilliant brain even for a single second. Until I got home, all I could hear was his voice telling me that he loved me.

Senpai loves me.

I blinked twice, groaning miserably once again. I had to forget about it. I had to. I shouldn't even be thinking about him considering how he betrayed our friendship, how he violated my human rights when he pinned me against the wall and how he... How he...

How he kissed me without my permission.

I swallowed thickly, suddenly remembering how his lips claimed mine in a kiss that even my boyfriend had never once given me.

Oh god.

"He's crazy," I murmured, pinching my lower lip as I felt my cheeks slowly heating up upon the memory.

What should I do?

Then as if my question was answered by the heavens above, my phone rang. I sprung up then reached for it above the bedside drawer. I composed myself, reading the caller ID.

Ryo.

Suddenly, my heart sank down to the deepest part of my chest.

Because. Of. Guilt.

Should I tell him what happened? That his girlfriend was kissed by his captain? How would he deal with it? Then how would I ever tell him that Imayoshi-senpai confessed to me?

Oh. My. Freaking. Hell.

I couldn't do that. I wouldn't dare destroy Ryo's respect for Imayoshi-senpai.

No, I would never.

Heaving a deep sigh, I tried clearing up my mind. I had to focus on Ryo. I had to focus on my boyfriend. So I answered the call and immediately acted like my normal self whenever we'd talk on the phone.

"Hello, Ryo."

"Sumimasen, Aya-chan. Did I disturb you? Sumimasen."

I chuckled at that, imagining him bowing a million times in front of me like what he would always do to everybody. And, sadly, I was no exception. "It's okay, Ryo. Why did you call?"

"I was worried. Did Imayoshi-san scold you earlier? Sumimasen. Maybe I should not talk to you at school anymore. Sumimasen."

Completely shocked because of what he just said, I frantically shook my head as if he could actually see me. "W-Wha— No! No, Ryo. It's okay. Senpai-nii didn't scold me. He just..." I trailed off deliberately, not knowing what to say. But I had already made up my mind, I wouldn't tell him the truth. "We talked about something with regards to my poor grades."

"Really? If that's the case then I'm relieved. But we need to do something about your grades, Aya-chan."

I laughed nervously, fidgetting on my spot. I felt terrible for lying to him. "Y-Yeah. Can you help me?"

"But isn't Imayoshi-san your tutor? Will he be okay if I suddenly take his job?"

It wasn't really his job per se, Imayoshi-senpai just kind of volunteered to help me with my studies.

"He'll understand. And I still prefer my boyfriend over him, Ryo. Can you?"

He didn't reply for a few seconds and I bet he was blushing. That's how he was. He would blush with the tiniest sweet talk and with the slightest touch. "Okay, Aya-chan. I'd love to spend more time with you as well."

I smiled softly. "I love you, Ryo."

"I love you too, Aya-chan. And good night, you should take a rest now. We'll walk to school together tomorrow morning."

"I'll wait for you tomorrow."

"Okay." Then there was a moment of silence. I was waiting for him to hang up but he never did. "You hang up, Aya-chan. I'm the guy, I should never leave you hanging."

With that, I thought I just melted into crap. It even took me minutes to calm my wildly beating heart. Sakurai Ryo may not be an aggressive boyfriend but he was a real gentleman. "You're too sweet, Ryo."

"I respect you, Aya-chan. That's why."

A gentle smile crept into my face. "Thank you. So I'll hang up now, okay? Have a peaceful sleep, Ryo."

"You, too."

I pressed the END CALL button then laid down on my bed again. I closed my eyes, trying to weigh things in my mind.

Ryo was a kind boyfriend. He may not be perfect, but he was just right for me. I was blessed to have him in my life.

However.

Imayoshi-senpai was important to me, too. He had been with me even before I met Ryo. We were almost inseparable. Wherever he'd go, I would simply follow. The reason why? I trusted him so much. Whenever he was with me, I felt safe and secure.

No.

He would simply make sure that I was safe and secure. Always.

Yeah, always. There was never a time that he appeared dangerous to me like how Hanamiya-senpai would often describe him. To me, Imayoshi-senpai was just Imayoshi-senpai. My supporter, comforter, and friend.

Well, actually, he was more than that.

I saw him as more than just a friend. He was like a family, like a big brother, that's why I'd grown very comfortable in his company. I was open enough to tell him every single thing that would happen in my life. I couldn't afford losing someone like him.

Now that it had come to this, however, I knew I had to choose. Only one. Choosing one would mean hurting the other, but that was better than keeping them both and then continuously inflecting pain to the both of them. I couldn't do that. I wasn't selfish enough.

Imayoshi-senpai or Ryo?

I clutched my chest, biting my lower lip hard. I didn't know this kind of decision-making was difficult as shit. This was harder than choosing between a bag of chips and a bag of choco balls on a friday movie marathon night. Both were my favorite yet I knew I could only have one or else I'd sink into a pool of calories.

Ugh. Whatever.

In this case, I had to choose Sakurai Ryo. It only seemed right. He was my boyfriend, and I loved him.

As for Imayoshi-senpai, I had to talk to him. I needed to make him understand that I couldn't exactly do what he wanted; the break-up-with-Sakurai-and-choose-me-instead thing.

"The minute you take a step out of that door, I'll make you fall in love with me."

Impossible.

I would never fall in love with him. Not with my senpai. Not with my brother. Not ever.

***

I gasped aloud, freezing up like a deer caught in headlights upon seeing Imayoshi-senpai outside of their gate the next morning. He was just standing there with a passive look on his face, as if waiting for me to come out.

Oh, did I forget to mention that the house just across ours belonged to his family? Yeah, we were practically neighbors. That's exactly the reason why we got close, and not to mention that my Mom and his were the best of friends.

The fact that we were neighbors only narrowed the possibility of me getting away from him so easily.

Thank you, fate. You're so helpful.

Sarcasm. Sarcasm. Screw fate.

I composed myself, turning my back and closing the gates behind me. But when I turned around again, he was already in front of me. I stumbled backwards, hitting the metal gates which created a noise that almost made my heart leap out of my chest due to nervousness.

"Good morning, Aya," he said, his eyes were in a thin line like usual. But there was a gentle smile on his lips, as if telling me that there was nothing to worry about.

I composed myself then took a step sidewards, away from him. "U-Uh, yeah. Good morning."

"I was waiting for you. Let's go," he said, giving me another one of his smiles again as he gestured for me to follow him.

Well, to be honest, this was normal---him, waiting for me outside their gate; him, greeting me so early in the morning; and us, walking together to school. Completely normal. It was always like this everyday. But what hadn't been normal this morning was that what he did yesterday was already tattooed inside my head and I couldn't bring myself to act cool in front of him. I couldn't forget all the things he said and did with just a single night of sleep.

Whether I liked it or not, everything had changed. Our once smooth friendship was already crumpled up.

"I'm sorry. I promised Ryo that we'll walk to school together today," I said softly.

He showed me a frown and the gentle smile that curled up his lips faded instantly. "Aya."

"Imayoshi-senpai, you should know that you are important to me too. But you have to forget about your feelings, or else..." I trailed off deliberately. Somehow, I couldn't finish what I was going to say.

At that point, his eyes opened. It was the same look he had yesterday. I gulped. "Or else, what?"

"O-Or else.. I won't talk to you ever again." My voice was nearly inaudible, but I knew he heard it because he showed a surprised expression. "And I'm serious. I love Ryo, so I can't let you do the things that will probably hurt him and destroy our relationship. If you're going to insist on what you want, then I have no choice but to disregard our friendship."

He stayed silent for a while and just stood there, studying my face. "So you're choosing Sakurai over me?"

"Yes."

To my utter surprise, he smirked. "Did you tell him?"

I furrowed my brows. "No. I believe there's no need for that."

"There is, Aya." The way he uttered my name sent incredible chills down my spine. "I made a declaration of war yesterday when I confessed to you. He should know that he is inside a battlefield now."

I pondered at what he said. Why did he sound so confident? It seemed like he knew every single thing that he was doing. It seemed like he knew that he was going to win in the end. When the truth was, the decision was not his. It was mine. And my decision was final:

We were only friends. And it was going to stay that way forever.

"That is ridiculous," I retorted in a deep tone. "You're alone in that battlefield. There's no war, Imayoshi-senpai. My heart belongs to Ryo, so there's no reason for you to fight in the first place."

He leaned forwards, cornering me in between his arms with my back being pressed against our gate. "I've been with you ever since we were little. I watched you grow up. I've loved you ever since we were just kids, and I still love you now. Nothing has changed. You think that's not enough reason to fight?"

I couldn't speak. What he said left me in a daze. He was looking at me with a serious expression, his eyes under his glasses were filled with utmost sincerity and desperation. Because of the stare he was giving me, my heart started to skip a beat. It was beating fast and loud that I was even afraid he might actually hear it.

"How could I ever watch you choose another man, Aya?" he continued, voice low and cold, "How could I ever watch the only girl I love hold another man's hand? I can't. So I'm going to fight." His other hand traveled its way down to my chest and stayed there. "Your heart is beating fast and loud, it's reacting to me. See? Your heart is here. Sakurai doesn't have it."

His hand on my chest made me flinch. And with each word that came out of his mouth, I could feel my damn heartbeat getting faster and faster. Louder and louder. I couldn't understand. I was used to him being this close to me because we'd hugged a million times before. But somehow, this time, it was completely different.

"You don't have to do anything, Aya. Just fall for me, and I'll catch you," he added in a husky tone, a small smile lingered on his lips. It seemed like he was enjoying my reaction, he was enjoying every loud beating of my heart.

No.

This is wrong.

As if a bottle of cold water was poured over me, my senses snapped open. My hands immediately came to push his chest away for I knew that if we stayed this way any longer, I would have a heart attack. So I needed to get away. I had to. But my action was futile because he easily caught both of my wrists and held them tightly against his chest.

"Let me go," I protested.

"No. Even if you push me away, I'll still keep on coming back to you."

"You're crazy, onii-chan. You're just hurting yourself."

"Because I love you, I can't let you go."

"You're--"

"Aya-chan? Imayoshi-san?"

I gasped when I heard that voice who came to interrupt us. We both turned to my boyfriend who was standing a few steps away from us. However, Imayoshi-senpai didn't let me go, he didn't even look surprised at all.

While Sakurai Ryo looked so confused as he stared at us with a frown. "W-What are you doing?"

"Ryo."

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I hope you like the first chapter.
ADVANCE HAPPY NEW YEAR :)

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