"You know, it's been almost two months since you started here," Cain's voice from beside me pulled me from the book I was trying to concentrate on.

We were in the library, working on a project we had both put almost no effort in. Now it was due on Monday, and since it was Friday, we were scrambling.

"Has it?" I mumbled, trying to find the paragraph I had just been reading.

"Yep," Cain said, clearly not intending on doing any work. "And you know, I like you man, but sometimes I feel like I don't even really know you."

"What's there to know?" I asked him, feeling nervous at the line of his questioning.

It was easier that no one knew. It was easier that people didn't look at me as that guy. The one who's best friend committed suicide, and then lost his mind shortly after. Though, remembering the breakdown I had at the bridge last weekend, maybe I was still losing it.

I felt better now. That night was cathartic, even though it was painful as fuck. Like the emotions that I had bottled up inside me for so long had finally found their way out, leaving me feeling a little bit lighter. Don't get me wrong, I was still pissed. I was still so angry sometimes that I couldn't even see straight. But, it was better, even it was just by a fraction.

"What's there to know?" Cain repeated my question with a snort. "Literally anything, man. All I know is that you showed up out of the blue one day, and that you used to go to Hawkings."

"Well, that's the gist of it," I told him, finally pushing the book away from me, accepting that I wasn't going to be able to concentrate while Cain was focused on getting answers.

"No, I don't think it is. Why did you leave Hawkings? You know there's rumours, right?" Cain asked, raising his eyebrows.

I shook my head, knowing the rumours that he was speaking of. They consisted mainly of me getting caught with a teacher in a supply closet, and I had no idea where they originated from.

"You really think I fucked a teacher?" I asked him, holding back a laugh.

"I don't know, man. That's what I'm saying. So, if that's not true, tell me the real reason you left," Cain shrugged his shoulders as he sat back in his chair.

I looked at him, debating on whether or not I should tell him. I liked Cain. He seemed like a good guy. He seemed vastly better than his friends, anyways. I debated on whether I could trust him, knowing this wasn't information I wanted floating through the school's gossipy population.

Finally, I sighed, deciding on taking a leap of faith on him. "I got kicked out."

"I knew it," Cain grinned. "You dirty, dirty dog. Which teacher was it? Science? English? Oooh, was it the Spanish teacher?"

"Shut up, you idiot," I laughed. "I didn't screw a teacher."

"Oh," Cain frowned like he was disappointed in hearing that. "Why did you get kicked out, then?"

I chose my words carefully. "Honestly, I just kind of lost it. Started drinking a lot, starting fighting a lot. I went to school drunk one day, punched a kid I probably shouldn't have punched. The principal's kid. I'm lucky I didn't end up in jail, I guess."

Cain looked shocked at my words, clearly it wasn't what he expected. "You? You did all that? See, this is what I mean. I never would have guessed you were capable of that, bro."

"Yeah, well, like I said... I kind of lost it," I told him, frowning. I did feel like a different person now, those were dark days. I felt like I couldn't even breathe without feeling rage flow through my veins.

"Why?" Cain asked me, and when my face showed my confusion at his question, he explained. "Why did you lose it?"

I hesitated again, no one knew about Henry here. He was like a secret, my secret.

"You don't have to tell me, man, if you don't want to," Cain said quickly, noticing the way I retreated from his question. "I was just curious."

"No, it's okay," I told him, knowing it probably wouldn't hurt to open up, just a bit. "My best friend, he uh, he died."

"Oh, fuck," Cain's eyes grew wide as he digested my words. "I'm sorry, man. Shit, I wouldn't have asked if I had known it was something like that."

"It's fine," I muttered, looking down at the table in front of me. It was weird to talk about Henry with someone who had never known him.

"I don't blame you for losing it. I'm sure I would have done the same," Cain continued. "You know, if you ever need someone to talk to, I can do my best, man. I'm not sure I'll be able to help, but I can listen."

I nodded, about to open my mouth to thank him, when the bell rang, causing us to sigh in both frustration and relief.

"Well, I guess we're failing," Cain muttered, as he packed his bags up.

"Just come over to my place this weekend. We'll get it done," I told him, following his lead and placing my books in my bags.

"Yeah?" Cain questioned, with a smile on his face that I'm not sure the reason for. "Sounds like a plan. Are you coming to the game?"

"The game?" I questioned, not knowing what he was talking about.

"The football game?" Cain looked at me like I was crazy. "You know, the team that half our friends play on?"

"Oh," my voice was flat, "no, I think I'm good."

"You sure? It's fun. Olivia and Trinity will be there, Seren too," Cain said, and he smiled when he said her name.

The mention of her name was all that was needed to change my mind. "Maybe it will be fun."

Cain raised his eyebrow, a knowing smirk on his face. "Alright, let's ditch our bags and head out there."

I thought about Seren as we walked towards our lockers. I don't know why I expected her to be different, as I walked into the cafeteria the Monday after the party. Maybe it's because she seemed so different while she was drunk. She was happy, smiling, lively.

She wasn't, anymore, that Monday. She was the same Seren that I had become used to when she was sober. Though, she seemed even farther away than she usually was. She looked tired, a tinge of purple under her eyes, a shade I hadn't noticed there before.

She had remained that way all week, barely speaking. Like she was fading more and more each day.

I looked around the crowded football field as we made our way onto the bleachers. There were barely any spaces left to sit, it seemed the entire school had come out to see the game. It wasn't anything like the football games at Hawkings, where it seemed only a handful of people actually cared about the boring sport.

I followed Cain through the sea of people; he seemed to know exactly where he was going. Finally, when we had climbed into the back rows, high enough we could see the entire field, I saw them. Olivia and Trinity were both wearing jerseys, layered over thick sweaters, and I was willing to bet they belonged to Noah and Tyler. Seren was sitting beside them, free of any jersey and in only a short sleeved shirt instead. I wondered how she wasn't freezing, the air had welcomed the beginning of winter.

She didn't seem cold at all, however. She didn't seem like the Seren I had seen this last week at all, frankly. She looked like the Seren I had witnessed last weekend, and as we approached them, I knew why.

She was drunk, I could tell instantly. The most obvious clue was the small flask she was holding, taking an swig of it before passing it to Trinity. She was smiling, and it hurt me to know that was a tell tale sign that she had been drinking.

Cain slid down beside Olivia, saying something to her that I didn't catch. I looked down at the available sitting option, nervous at the fact there was only one left, and it was next to Seren.

I sat beside her, consciously aware of my body and trying not to accidentally brush against her. She didn't acknowledge my presence at all, still listening to whatever Trinity was blabbing on about.

"Seren, aren't you cold? Here, take my sweater," Cain offered her, no doubt wondering how she wasn't freezing the same way I was.

"I'm fine," she told him briskly, shutting down the offer in two simple words. "I don't want it."

I didn't say anything, my eyes casting over the field. The game was beginning to start, and slowly the girl's conversation began to die down. We watched as the players began to play, but the whole time I was just painfully aware of the fact that Seren was so close to me.

"My favourite colour is blue," she leaned over as she spoke to me, causing me to startle. She laughed at that, the sound escaping freely from her lips.

"Blue?" I finally answered, after clearing my throat. I had no idea why she was telling me that. I looked towards her, seeing the pink that tinged her cheeks, no doubt caused from a mixture of the alcohol and from the cold. Her dark hair was blowing across her face.

"You asked what my favourite colour was last weekend. It's blue," she slurred out, and by the look in her eyes, I doubted she would remember this conversation. I doubted she would remember the football game, at all. 

"Blue," I said again. "I didn't expect that."

"But, not like a dark blue. A pale blue. The colour of the water when it's sunny out," she explained, but she was speaking in a way that made me feel like she wasn't talking to me at all.

It was more like she was talking to herself, like she was reminding herself of her own favourite colour before she forgot completely.