Time is a strange thing.

Months- well, they seem long when you're in them, don't they? When the calendar turns fresh once again, and is hard to fathom that you'll greet a new month in only thirty days.

But, at some point, you look back and you can't see where the last six months have gone. Like they were simply a magic trick, they've disappeared. You can't see time when it's behind you, sometimes you wonder if it ever existed in the first place.

Time seems infinite when you're looking ahead, yet you can only see how wrong you are when you're looking back.

My first few months at West Bridge seemed to move in slow motion. Everything was new and everything needed to be looked at twice. The people, especially. I protested being here, maybe not actively, but subconsciously. I was living in two places, here in the present but also in the past. When you're living in the past, your sense of time complicates.

But now- I'm looking back and wondering where the hell the last year and a half has gone.

I guess it's to be expected when you fall into a routine, and fall into a routine I did. Every day was similar. I drove to school, and we all met at the water fountain in the hall. I went to class, and then I went to the cafeteria and sat with the same people that I did every day.

It was all the same. It was always the same. Olivia was always attached to Noah, in some way or another. Trinity was never far from Olivia, always ready to whisper gossip into her ear. Benji, Jax and Tyler always sat on one side so they could see the girls as they walked through the cafeteria. Cain and I sat at the other, we mostly kept to ourselves. We talked about whatever we felt like talking about, whether it was music or cars, maybe even girls.

And then there was Seren, stuck in the middle of it all.

Seren was always the same, too, except she wasn't. She was the same yet ever changing. She did the same things but with the life in her eyes fading further and further. She talked about the same things, yet she did it with less and less enthusiasm. She left the table to go smoke, but she was starting to do it earlier and earlier each day.

She was the same, yet completely different. In the worst way possible.

I hadn't spoken to her since the night that Cain and I drove her home from that party. The night that she rambled something to me that I would never forget. I'd never forget it for two reasons.

She said she saw me. Seren said she saw me, that was the first reason. The second reason I'll never forget it, was because she said everything was black.

And if that wasn't a hint to her depression, I don't know what else could be.

I stood there after she said those words, just paralyzed. I was stunned by them completely, but it seemed she wasn't stunned by them at all. She had fallen back asleep in the next second, as if they had never left her mouth.

I went to school that Monday intent on talking to her. I was going to do it, I was. I ran through what I was going to say in my mind. I practiced on my drive to school.

But- she didn't see me that day because it didn't look like she had seen anything at all. She was blanker than I had ever seen her before.

Something changed that night- but what?

She wore the same look most of the time that she was wearing right now. I shifted my eyes to her as if to confirm my thoughts, not that I needed to. She looked exactly how I expected her to look- a million miles away while Olivia spoke to her. The longer she went without blinking, the more I knew she wasn't hearing anything that she had to say at all.

"Seren? Did you hear me?" Olivia finally snapped, though it was still the sweet tone it always was. I wasn't sure if that sweet tone was an act, because frankly I didn't care about Olivia enough to evaluate her speech patterns.

"Hm?" Seren answered out, shaking her head like she was trying to reroot herself back in reality.

"I asked if you heard back from Carter. Girl, sometimes I don't even know where your head is at," Olivia laughed out, rolling her eyes. Quickly I tensed, wondering why Olivia was pressuring Seren into talking to him.

Seren held Olivia's gaze, blinking a couple of times. Clearly, Seren had no idea what she was talking about either.

"Seren, you are so clueless sometimes. It's a good thing you're pretty, I swear, or you would be sitting over there," Olivia jerked her thumb backwards, over her shoulder, to a table of kids behind us, "with the losers."

I wanted to shake my own head at her words, I wanted to say something. I wanted to tell Olivia how stupid she was for speaking to Seren like that, because didn't she see? Each time that someone spoke to her like that, it chipped away a piece of her soul. I could see it. Why couldn't they?

"Here, give me your phone." Olivia continued as released her grip from Noah's neck. She grabbed Seren's phone from the table, as if she had a right to it. "You didn't even text him?"

"Why don't you text him?" Seren asked her, surprisingly speaking against her.

"Yeah, Olivia. Why don't you text him?" Jax added from beside her, that stupid grin he only wears around Seren on his face.

Speaking of things that had changed, Jax was one of them. He was different, lately. He was acting in a way I couldn't put my finger on. He had stopped drinking so much, he had stopped hooking up with girls. He didn't play the hook up games he usually played with Benji and Tyler any longer, he didn't seem interested in any girl at all. Except, for Seren.

And though we had all known for a long time that he liked her, the way he looked at her at had changed too. He used to look at her like he wished for her to be his, just like Cain, or Carter or Benji, or any one of us.

He didn't look at her like that any longer. No, lately, he's been looking at Seren like she already was his.

But the weirdest part was that he looked at her in a way that made it seem like she knew it too. He looked at her calmly, like they were in a relationship that no one else knew about. He looked at her as if he knew she would be loyal to him, and to only him.

But... it wasn't true, and I knew that because Seren hadn't changed the way she looked at him.

"Because he'll only do it for Seren. You know that." Olivia muttered as her fingers tapped on the screen. "There. He should text back in 3, 2..."

And though I wanted to roll my eyes, I knew she was right. Carter would do anything he could to get the attention of Seren.

"He said yes. Thank god!" She squealed as she tossed Seren's phone back to her. Seren's face didn't change as she glanced over the text messages, she looked like she didn't have a single thought rushing through her head.

"So, Jax and I will get the booze. Olivia and Trinity, bring the food. Tyler, the weed. Cain, music." Benji instructed us all, before he leaned into Seren. His hand snaked across her shoulder, he whispered something into her ear that no one else could hear.

She still didn't change her expression, she looked bored. I had an idea what Benji said from the smile that was flashing across his mouth, and my guess wasn't wild that he said something suggestive.

"Zane, you can take your dad's suburban, right?" Benji continued, and Seren's eyes flicked up to me. I didn't move them in time, she caught me staring. Though, that fact didn't prompt me to look elsewhere. I didn't move them at all, and neither did she. So, just for a couple of seconds, we stared at each other. I wondered what she was thinking, and I wondered if she understood I had a million questions that I wanted to ask her.

The most important one was simple, because if I could her anything, I'd ask her - are you okay?

Not just in this moment, not just today. I wanted to know if she, all of her, was okay, because I had a feeling that nothing was okay at all.

"Yeah, we're good," I said instead, my eyes staying on her for a second longer, wondering why she hadn't looked away, before I turned to Benji.

"Do you guys remember what happened last time we were there? Seren got so drunk, she stripped in the hot tub," Trinity giggled out, gently nudging Seren in the ribs.

Tyler and Benji both laughed at the question, fist bumping each other like they had never seen a girl in a bikini before. Trinity and Olivia looked proud at their attempt to embarrass her. And Jax, he looked pissed. His eyes narrowed, and I swore his fingers curled into a fist at Trinity's words.

But the most concerning reaction was Seren's, because she looked like the words were meaningless. How removed would one have to be to hear those words about yourself, and not care enough to say a single thing?

"I'm going for a smoke," Seren stood suddenly, saying the same words she did every day.

I couldn't tell if she was more eager to have a cigarette, or to get away from being talked about like she wasn't sitting right in front of us.

My eyes followed her as she left, and it was like I could feel the emotions leaving her body. She wasn't mad at their words, she wasn't upset either.

It was like she expected them, and I wondered how bad that must feel- to simply expect everyone around you to treat you like a toy for them to play with.