ꨄ

𝑁𝑂𝑇𝐻𝐼𝑁𝐺 𝑊𝐸 𝐷𝐸𝑆𝐼𝑅𝐸𝐷

𝑁𝑂𝑇𝐻𝐼𝑁𝐺 𝑊𝐸 𝐷𝐸𝑆𝐼𝑅𝐸𝐷
the bitterness

When Dilara closed her eyes, she saw Turkey: the gorgeous beaches and her parent's stall in their market town. Sometimes it was her Aunt beside her as a little girl, her hand smoothing down the dark hair from her brow, exposing her skin to the sun. Then it was Italy, surrounded by warm summers and the green landscape of Mathilde's villa. Other times it was her mother beside her, eyes warm and happy but then cold and disapproving. She wondered what her mother would have thought of her predicament. Dila knew the answer. She would have been as disappointed as her Aunt.

But most of all, she saw Amir. Dila saw his attractive face and calming smile. When she slept it was his voice in her dreams, inviting and accented with his knowledge of the world and all the places he had been. With her eyes closed and mind resting, she remembered him as he used to be: loving, beautiful, and romantic.

When her eyes blinked open again, seeing the grey world in which she now lived, her eyes steeled and she remembered him as he truly was- deceitful. All the while, she could not help but think of the what ifs. What she could have done to avoid such a mess. What if she had never agreed to go with Amir? She would have been safe in her Aunt's villa, not a man in sight.

But still, that night stayed with her.

Dilara mourned her life lost. She mourned the freedom she once had, the family she was forced to leave behind. Dila wore black for them, for herself and for the person she once had been. But the world around her was black too.

The loss of Grace Shelby was seen all throughout the community. An orphanage had been opened in her name and sympathies had poured in for the family. Tommy left for weeks at a time, sometimes taking his son, sometimes not. Dila never saw him. It was only Ada, still cloaked in her black coats and burgundy hats, that she saw somewhat regularly. Her visits were still not welcomed.

"You're not trapped here," Ada said one day, letting herself into the little box room that Dila now called home. Streaming through the murky windows, the morning light was grey and weak, nothing like the warmth of home.

Ada liked to say such things when she came. Words of comfort and reassurance that Dila could never quite believe. They seemed to only work for Ada, relieving the guilt she must have felt in playing a part in the task of keeping Dilara in Small Heath.

"Am I not?"

Dila looked across the small room. It was neatly furnished with a bed and soft linens, a quaint mirror hanging atop beige wallpaper, and lace curtains draped over the window. But a cage was still a cage when prettily decorated. She had not tried to leave for she knew what would happen. There was always someone sitting in the small kitchen at the bottom of the stairs. Whether they were there to guard her, she didn't know, but Dila was only thankful that it wasn't Thomas Shelby that she had to deal with everyday.

Ada considered her for a moment as she removed her scarf. "Despite everything, Tommy trusts you."

Tommy Shelby's word was gold in Small, Dila has come to learn. His trust went far. But Ada's words felt like lies, even if they weren't.

"You know why he trusts me, don't you?" Dila said, eyes levelling on Ada's movements as she finally came to sit in front of her. "Because he knows I have no reason or motivation to leave. Nor do I have the means to leave either."

"I thought he loved me. A fool I was." But no more. Her heart had turned to steel as much as her eyes.

"Dry your tears. I won't see a girl like you cry over a man like him."

Dila stood, unable to contain her anger. "But he is the reason I am here. Without his deceitfulness, I would not have sold my freedom for his." Her gaze levelled down, strong and unrelenting. Ada lifted her chin, meeting it wholly. "A man like him. All men are like him. Selfish. Cruel. Uncaring about anything but themselves."

"No matter what you all think of Thomas Shelby, you are all blind to the truth. He is no different. That is why I'm here. Someone needs to pay for his wife's death. And it is because of him that it must be me."

Ada looked upon her as if she did not know the woman standing before her. But perhaps Dila was a stranger now. The words of her grandmother rang sharp and true. Like a snake, she would hiss, with slyness and manipulation. If only she had remembered such a thing when Amir had trapped her with his words. Now she was just as entrapped, wrapped within the territories of the Peaky Blinders.

The tiniest of chapters to get everything started! Tommy comes in next chapter and Luca will be soon after! <3