"I think I have everything," I said to myself, but I gave my room another once over.

I've been waiting all year for this moment, and still, it felt surreal. I couldn't wait to go, but I also didn't want to leave. A part of me already felt homesick just thinking about it.

The only other place that I've spent this much time at was Grey's house and maybe my grandparents who lived in Canada that we visited twice a year.

"Hey, sweetheart, can I talk to you for a second before you go?" Dad shouted up from downstairs.

"Sure thing!" I walked to my door, one last glance, then closed it behind me.

I skipped down the stairs and walked to the kitchen.

"Have a seat." He nodded towards the breakfast nook. "I made you a caramel cappuccino with blueberry waffles." I was glad dad finally learned to use that expresso maker that his girlfriend bought him for Christmas last year. It's been a godsend and one of our most used kitchen appliances. That's what happened with two caffeine addicts living under the same roof.

"YAY! Thank you!" I told him, kissing his cheek while he finished what looked like the last batch of waffles.

I rushed over to take my favorite seat by the window. I only admired the breakfast spread for about three seconds before digging into my waffles. I took a bite of blueberries with a tiny bit of whip cream and maple syrup. "MHHMM." I crooned. My taste buds were so happy.

Dad slid into the nook, sitting across from me. He only had a cup of coffee in front of him. "I made some for Grey too. I know he probably ate already, but I also know he never says no to a second morning meal," he grinned. "So," Dad began to twirl the coffee mug in his hands, a nervous habit of his. "Remember last week when we said no more secrets?"

After the conversation with Mom, I couldn't wait for Dad to get home so we could talk. I had been dying to do it over the phone, but he insisted that we do it in person.

In proper psychologist form, we sat down in the living room on opposite sides, him on the couch and me on the other.

I had watched him just as closely as he was watching me, probably thinking of how best to proceed.

Eventually, he took a deep breath and said, "First, I'd like to know how you feel about your mom, then we'll talk about what you're thinking about doing?"

I've never lied to Dad.

I knew that sounded unbelievable, but it was true. I've always owned up to my mistakes and have taken full responsibility. Plus, Dad was the easiest person to talk to. I could tell him just about anything, and I knew he wouldn't judge me.

I already had days to gather all my thoughts and feelings about my mom. So when I opened my mouth, everything came out all at once. I told Dad how I felt like she had abandoned us because we didn't make her happy enough. I told him that after hearing about having a younger sister, I wondered if Mom felt like I wasn't the daughter she wanted because she didn't stick around to watch me grow up like she did for her. I said the stuff that I hadn't even completely worked out in my head yet, but I was hoping saying it aloud would clear up any fog surrounding it.

In 30 minutes, I was all talked out.

Dad sat silently for a second, working through his thoughts. I took that as my opportunity to ask him something that had been on my mind. "Dad, how would you feel if I wanted to have a relationship with Mom? I'm not sure if I do right now or ever will. There seems to be so much that I don't know if I can forgive, but she's told me that you had forgiven her, and I want to know if that's true." I nibbled at my bottom lip anxiously.

Dad sleeked back his greyish-copper locks with one of his hands and sighed. I could see a bit of his pent-up emotions being expressed through the way his eyebrows were tightly knitting together and how he tried to focus his eyes on anything but me as he successfully regained his composure. "I don't want this to be about me. But yes, I have forgiven her."

I knew he wanted to move on from that, bringing it back full circle, but I wasn't done.

So I asked another question, much to his dismay. "How could you? She broke your heart. I know you've moved on, and you're happier now. But she left you to raise a daughter on your own. While I know I'm not exactly a troublemaker or anything, and if I'm honest, I can't imagine it being super difficult to raise me, I can imagine there were moments when you must have wished you weren't doing it alone."

"Mia," Dad said sternly but also calmly. His work face was on. Or should I say his "mask" because, in his profession, he needed one.

I knew some people might think.

I didn't need a doctor at that moment.

I needed my dad.

But I knew my dad. This was his way of trying to coolly navigate the situation without putting his feelings in the middle of it. He didn't want how he felt about mom to be the deciding factor for whether or not I chose to have a relationship with her. He didn't want me to live with any regrets if I was only thinking about what he may want instead of what I wanted for myself. And a part of me couldn't help but be curious about his feelings. Also, I felt like if Dad could forgive mom, then maybe I could, too, somehow.

"Dad," I interrupted him. "This affects you too. No matter how unbiased you want to be." I said honestly. Mask or no mask. I saw right through him.

"I have something to tell you. Again." Dad told me that Mom had stopped by when I was at Grey's house a few years ago. He hadn't fully recovered from her leaving, so the minute he saw her face, he told her she shouldn't be here. Dad said he hadn't expected her to listen, but she did and promised she wouldn't show up again. Dad blamed himself for a while and wished he would have handled the situation differently, but he was so hurt that he let his emotions get in the way. He thought that I would have been upset if I knew he was part of why Mom stayed away.

But I couldn't have been mad at him. I was healing slowly, and seeing her face would have set me off. We deserved better, and we didn't get treated that way.

Dad was concerned that I would hold a grudge, but I didn't have it in me. I understood him, and I thought he made the best decision for us. Even if he made it alone, he's more than made up for it.

And he has been the best father a girl could ask for.

"I can't get in the way of this. I swore to myself that I wouldn't. I want the best for you, and if that means forgiving your mother and letting bygones be bygones, you can consider it instantly done." Dad moved from his couch to take a seat next to me. Wrapping one of his arms around my shoulder, he pulled me into him, and I rested my head on his shoulder. "All that being said, sweetheart, I'll support any decision you make." He kissed the top of my head. "Just promise me that you'll think about how you might feel ten years from now before you decide on anything. If you don't like that, though, change the action in the present while you still have the chance."

I nodded and said. "Okay. I'll think about it. But you have to promise me something too." I sat up and held my pinkie finger out to him. "No more secrets?" I said it more like a question instead of a statement.

He chuckled, looking down at my little finger as I wiggled it in front of his face. His huge pinkie dwarfed mine as he wrapped his around it, sealing the deal. "Promise."

Now back to the present.

"Dad, I'm not sure how I feel about surprises and secrets after the last month I've had." I took a sip of my cappuccino.

"I know, and I'm sorry, but this one was kind of sprung on me. And I know I had to tell you."

"Okay, okay. Shoot." How bad could this be anyways?

"Your mom lives in the same town as you and Grey. She moved there six months ago. So she lives 5 minutes away from the university. Which means she lives about 25 minutes away from you." He gave me a tight-lipped smile and sipped his coffee while I sat there in utter shock.

I stuttered, only getting a few words out but not fully forming coherent sentences. "What?...She?...But?... How?... I can't..." I slapped my forehead with my palm. "Wow, this summer is off to a great start, and here I thought I had at least a good enough distance from mom to gather my thoughts. But in reality, she'll only be 25 minutes away from me." I let out one of those humorless laughs. "This is probably the going to be the closest she's been to me in years. Awesome." I angrily cut my waffles this time and chopped down on them.

"Yup." Dad paused, thinking about it. "Nope, I got nothing." He shrugged, giving up. "All I can say is she told me not to tell you. But I warned her you wouldn't like that and informed her that I would tell you as soon as I could, preferably before you moved there, and possibly bumped into her at the grocery store or something. I imagine that would have been awkward." He took another sip.

"You think?" I fired back. "Jeez," I muttered under my breath.

"Yeah." Dad's lip formed a thin line.

We both looked to the front door when we heard a motorcycle outside, followed by what we know is a vintage mustang with a seriously powerful engine.

"Sounds like the McNamaras are here," Dad joked.

All this Mom talk reminded me that I still haven't told Greyson about any of it. This was probably my biggest kept secret at the moment.

Okay, this was one of my biggest kept secrets, but I wouldn't even dare bring up the other one.

I wasn't planning to put out friendship in jeopardy over that because some secrets felt like maybe they should get carried to the grave.