chapter fifteen / season one episode four.

"WOAH, NUTTER." Arthur raised his eyebrows at the teenager that came bounding down the stairs, her best navy blue dress on (considering she refused to wear the light pink or white ones anymore) and a smile as wide as humanely possible on her lips. "Where you off to?"

It was mere curiosity of Arthur's. It wasn't everyday Olivia came downstairs with her hair brushed and into a nice neat ponytail, with her cleanest boots and nicest dress on. And her best smile.

That part was possibly the most concerning for Arthur, who was often oblivious to the emotions of the the other Shelbys. He was often too drunk to notice. But, after John had dropped the major bomb of marriage on them early yesterday he hadn't had much to drink.

Olivia had been giving them all the cold shoulder since they found out and had mocked John for his decisions. She, of course, had only started the cold shoulder treatment after every-one had checked her over after the bomb debacle in Tommy's car.

After they made sure her and Finn were in tip-top condition, she had fist-bumped John and retreated upstairs to her bedroom, which she had slammed the door shut to.

"What is wrong with that girl!?" Polly had screeched, to which John hadn't answered, Tommy pinched the bridge of his nose as a reason crossed his mind and Arthur shrugged.

The eldest Shelby had been well and truly confused. Until, Tommy had spoken of her reasoning.

Arthur had never realized how much Olivia adored love. For Arthur, there were two types of people in life. He viewed the world very simply when it came to love. There was the romantics, and you knew they were a romantic because they were always banging on about love, and their cheeks would go all rosy when speaking to anyone who showed the slightest interest because they were so overjoyed by the prospect of feeling loved. The romantics were very obvious to pick out of a crowd, Arthur always thought that the romantic women would be wearing the nice dresses, silk gloves and maybe a matching hat. The color of all those items would undoubtedly match, usually being of a rose pink or pure white. The men would wear foolish smiles and tip their hats at the ladies that passed by, and would do anything gentleman-like to catch their attention.

Those were the romantics. Then there were those who despised love with their whole being. They were grumpy, always walking 'round Small Heath with a chip on their shoulder and bumping into you because if they were having a bad day they wanted to knock your day down a few pegs too. These people were very easy to spot in a crowd too, they often were darker color and had sullen faces and stood out in stark contrast to the romantics. They hated when people would hold hands in the streets, and even the thought of love made them gag.

Arthur knew his brother, Tommy, was one of those people. Thomas Shelby was a true hater of love, through and through. Arthur had expected Olivia to follow in those footsteps.

But, she hadn't. Olivia had brought a whole new category to Arthur's belief system. The secret romantics. The ones who check out the romance books out the library and never return them, who stare longingly at others, yearning for them. Perhaps, they put on a façade of hating love but deep down it was truly the only thing they'd ever desired. It didn't matter what they wore, or how they acted around those in love because wanting to feel loved was a hidden emotion of theirs, a hidden dream. So, it would never be verbalized or expressed on their face.

Olivia Shelby was a firm believer in love, in secret.

It had truly shocked Arthur's mind when he thought about it more. Olivia? And love? Something so fickle to Thomas, but something so beautiful and meaningful to her.

Arthur had witnessed many arguments between the two over the years, they clashed heads over nearly everything because Olivia wanted to be just like Tommy, which meant she had to know everything that Tommy knew. Sometimes, it didn't work that way for them. Which meant Olivia would get angry, and they'd fight.

Tommy could fight with venom.

And Olivia was stubborn enough to hold a grudge.

Their problems would be resolved eventually, usually after Polly slaps them on the back of the head and tells them to make up because the tension in Watery Lane was getting a little too much.

Arthur could see that happening now. Olivia was upset because Tommy wasn't valuing love like she was, he was going to reject John's love for Lizzie and refuse to let him have the help his own family desperately needed. And Tommy, well to him love was a foolish and fickle thing to believe in.

Love wasn't worth the dirt on Tommy's shoe. It was pointless to fall in love with someone when they could so easily fall out of it. Or they could die. Find someone else that they loved more.

Tommy thought about the endless possibilities in how love could hurt him, how it could make him weak. And so, he strayed for away from the thing.

Arthur could see Olivia not staying far from love. Not when it had been one thing she'd dreamed of since she was little. (Apparently!?)

"Out."

Arthur eyed the girl, "I can see that. Where you goin'?"

"Town."

"Bit fancy for town, don't you think?"

"No."

Arthur huffed and leant back in his chair, "Now, I know you're upset about John and Lizzie—"

Olivia furrowed her eyebrows, stuffing her laces into her boots instead of doing them up for efficiency. "Why would I be upset? They're getting married, Arthur, that's a celebration."

Arthur was more often than not never the bearer of bad news when it came to Olivia and Finn. He wasn't quite sure how to deal with the emotions of the little people that were related to him, that was often too much for him. Polly usually gave him the job of cheering them up afterwards.

Arthur did so not want to be the person who broke the news to Olivia that Tommy authorizing this marriage had chances of slim to none.

It didn't matter whether Olivia loved love. Or whether it was good for the kids. Hell, it didn't matter if it made John happy.

Tommy would never authorize it.

"Nutter," Arthur grimaced, "I don't know if there will be a wedding—"

"There will." Olivia affirmed with a nod of her head, "'Cause you best believe I ain't gon' shut up about it till John and Lizzie are stood at that altar."

Prostitutes and the Shelbys weren't exactly welcome in God's house these days.

But, Arthur didn't really have the heart to tell Olivia that. He wasn't Tommy. He wouldn't burst out into an argument with his younger sister because he believed her to be foolish or naïve for believing in love.

Arthur didn't know what he believed. Love was something foreign to him. The people of Small Heath believed him to be mad, crazed and downright needed to be put down like a diseased dog. He was violent more often than not. Women didn't like that. Maybe they did after she'd had a couple drinks, and he'd only a had few so that they could have a good night together. But, people didn't love Arthur Shelby once they saw his true colors, and the bloodied and bruised hands he'd come home with almost everyday. Women didn't like that, they didn't hang about waiting for a man that spent more time punching others than he did loving them.

Love wasn't possible for Arthur. Quick shags, absolutely! But, love? No.

And yet, Arthur still believed love existed because he'd seen what it had done for others. Maybe he was foolish, like Tommy would believe Olivia to be. But, can't we all be a little foolish for a little while? To see what good love had brought others: Tommy had been a happier boy when he loved Greta, and Ada and Freddie, whilst wrong in Tommy's eyes were nothing but pure and happy in Arthur's.

If Tommy found out, he would be sure to hang. So, Arthur would keep quiet and he'd be just like those grumps who walk the streets with only anger at the world that they were left to rot alone, like a flower without sun.

"Orright then." Arthur caved, because who was he to tell his littlest sister that it wasn't going to happen?

Who was he to ruin her idea of love?

Olivia nodded her head, happy with the fact that Arthur had conceded. She would so be telling Tommy a little lie when their argument undoubtedly came to fruition that Arthur was on her side, not Tommy's.

Lies made the world spin round.

"Who with?" Arthur usually wouldn't of asked. He usually wouldn't of cared. Things had changed. All the Shelbys knew that now, the danger to Olivia's life had been imminent.

Now it mattered where Olivia went and with who. Because, whilst the girl could defend herself, they didn't exactly want a repeat of last time.

The horrors it had unleashed upon Olivia was something Arthur never wanted to see again.

"Lottie and Nora."

The words rolled off her tongue, heavy with guilt and burden. She even paused when she said them, and her voice pitched higher.

Arthur didn't seem to notice, he never did. "Haven't heard 'bout them girls in ages, you tell 'em I hope they're alright."

Olivia clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth, "Will do, Arthur. Will do."

Olivia kissed him on the cheek before pulling on her coat and exiting out of the door of Watery Lane, she did head in the directions of town because her destination was the sweet shop.

But, it would not be Charlotte Junia and Eleanora Faye she would be meeting today. (Probably never again, either).

❋

"Why are we hiding in the alley?" The cockney's voice echoed off the cobbled walls of the alleyway, luckily Olivia had dragged him into a different one than her usual alleyway.

Olivia poked her head out of the exit, one hand pressed against Jack's chest to prevent him from trying to exit before she deemed fit. "I saw a blinder."

"How could you see 'em if they were blind?" Olivia's head snapped in Jack's direction, and away from the busy street of Small Heath on a market day. She wore an unimpressed face, and Jack grimaced. "Tough crowd."

"My brothers won't be happy to hear I was out with the cockney again." Olivia huffed.

Jack's face screwed up in disapproval, "The cockney? What's that all about?"

"You're in Small Heath, Jack, we don't exactly take kindly to your lot."

Jack didn't like that. Not that the cockneys weren't well liked, that was a universal fact. What Jack didn't like was how easily Olivia could be influenced by her family's opinion, and how hidden she wanted to keep him.

"You take kindly to me, though, don't ya?"

Olivia rolled her eyes. She'd left the house today in hopes Jack would be fun, but since she'd found him in the sweet shop he'd been nothing but downright annoying. Asking her all sorts of questions about being a Shelby, and her relationship with her brothers and sister.

Even if he was new to Small Heath, he was settled in now. The relationship between each Shelby sibling was street corner gossip, everyone knew about Ada and Freddie, everyone knew about Finn and Olivia nearly shooting Ada and everyone knew how Tommy planned to rule with Olivia at his side.

Olivia had just shrugged off his questions, finding no real reason to provide him with a straight answer. If he wanted to know, he could've just asked around.

But, then again Olivia wondered if he truly just wanted to know her. Know the truth straight from the Devil's mouth. It was like in the books Olivia read, the pining and the longing to know more about the girl you fancied. Maybe that's what this was.

(Maybe love was too topical in the Shelby household at the moment and Olivia was clinging at straws in her desperate search to be loved.)

"Don't get ahead of yourself." Olivia muttered, grabbing onto his arm and dragging him out of the alleyway and back onto the streets of Small Heath.

Olivia hadn't been out of the house on a market day in a while, she had forgotten how loud and how busy the streets could get. Many were yelling about their products, some yelling at the poor children who had tried to steal some fruit for their struggling family. And there was a screaming baby somewhere. But, there was so much noise that Olivia couldn't quite pinpoint the sound of the screaming baby.

It was sending a sharp pain to her temple being here. She hadn't been in a big crowd like this in a long time. At least not after she'd murdered someone.

She felt like before she could easily navigate this crowd and curse under her breath for the people who had no sense of direction, but now she felt like the one person with no sense of direction, who stood out like a sore thumb. Olivia felt like everyone knew what she'd done. They were glaring at her, burning holes into her with their glares.

And yet they were just staring at the Shelby girl who had once walked these markets streets like she ruled the world, now she looked like she wanted to curl into herself and never be seen again.

Jack let himself be dragged out onto the street, smirking to himself as they passed everyone by. He noticed that whenever he was with Olivia he was essentially untouchable, and people would move out of the way and part like the Red Sea when they saw Olivia approach.

They'd mutter about the Shelby Devil and her lanky, cockney.

Jack thought he could get used to that.

"Oi," Jack pulled on Olivia's arm and dragged her this time to a stall that he was interested in. "I like that."

He pointed at the most horrific dream catcher she'd ever seen. The goose feathers that looked like they'd been attached by a child were covered in glitter, paint and upon further inspection possibly snot. None of the feathers matched and they were clearly falling apart at the stand.

Yet, Jack couldn't stop smiling at it. His brilliantly, beautiful smile that made Olivia weak at the knees, and whenever it was directed to her... she knew it made her cheeks flush pink and then she'd look at the ground in embarrassment.

But, every-time Jack would laugh like a melody and Olivia would join him because it was contagious his laugh. Dripped in honey and so sweet.

So sweet for her.

"It's ugly." Olivia remarked, barely glancing at the thing before glancing over her shoulder.

Jack noticed how frequently she'd been checking over shoulder, almost every other second. Assessing the area for threats. There hadn't been one yet, and Jack knew he would never let anything happen to her.

She was too precious. (To him, and absolutely nothing else.)

"I like ugly things." Jack responded, "That's why I hang about with you."

Olivia responded with another unimpressed face.

Jack laughed. And even over the sound of the screaming baby, the yelling and the God awful murmuring of brummies in the background she could hear it. The beauty of it all in the chaos.

Olivia had to laugh with him. She just had to.

"I were gonna buy you that thing," Olivia pointed to it, "I've changed me mind now."

"You know you want to." Jack sung. Partially because he really wanted this ugly dream catcher and because he'd also spent all his own money on bon bons before they'd even gotten down to the market.

His Da was coming down today or tomorrow, in which he'd be given a handful of change to make last till his next visit upon the wretched Small Heath.

(It didn't matter how long Jack had to stay here, it would never be the home that London was.)

"I just don't think it's a good use of my hard-earned money." Olivia stated. The money in her little purse had been earned over the course of many weekends in the betting shop, over many splitting headaches.

She would damned if she spent it on this forsaken dream catcher.

Or, maybe she would be foolish to spend her coinage on the damned thing because it was for Jack.

Jack Wallace.

Olivia let the name circle her thoughts. Not because she was suspicious of it, but because it was the name of a person she spent so much of her time with. She spent many of her weekends down town with Jack, buying bon bons galore and just talking.

(She hadn't spent any time with her friends since Eleanora's uncle had been pronounced missing, and Olivia had declared him dead.) (Only to herself, because she was severely lacking the guts to reveal it to the girl herself.)

She talked with Jack, and whenever the sun would set and they'd inevitably have to go home she felt upset. She could listen to him and his stupid accent talk for hours upon hours, about utter nonsense or about himself. Olivia didn't care what he was talking about. As long as he was talking.

His voice was a record she could never get tired of.

The screaming and shouting of the market seemed to die down, and the crowds suddenly diverted themselves in one direction: no longer all moving slowly along the pathway but instead turning to the right and forming a large crowd.

The crowd that was forming was right behind the stall Olivia and Jack were stood at. It piqued her interest better than the dream catcher did. (She'd be coming back for it later, to surprise Jack.)

Olivia frowned, hearing yelling from one of the vendors but no-one else. That was odd. The yelling was known to overlap one another until you physically couldn't think anymore.

The Shelby girl would've been grateful for the yelling to stop had she not been so concerned who was being yelled at.

She had dragged Jack along by his hand, and used his height and muscle to her advantage to push through the crowd.

Or, that's what Jack told himself at least. The crowd parted for Olivia, not for him.

Olivia's eyebrows furrowed, there was a woman dressed in all black, stood with a pram by her side. The child was in her arms, being rocked as she stared at the vendor who was shouting at her.

The woman didn't seem all there. Her clothing made the crowd feel grim, she was clearly in mourning or just back from a funeral actually. And her eyes, they looked vacant and void of any emotion or feeling.

Olivia imagined that's how grief made you feel: void of anything and everything. Her dark clothing was simply a reflection of how the world felt to the woman now, dark and grim. There was no color in Small Heath, no simple joys or simple pleasures.

There was only waves of grief.

Olivia hadn't felt it. She had been too young when her Ma died, and when Greta died and when Martha died.

She couldn't imagine grief now. The thought merely scared her that it could be anyone of us dressed in black, mourning.

Whilst the large crowd had formed, it seemed that there was some sort of force stopping someone from intervening and there was a large enough space around the grieving woman and the vendor.

The child started to cry.

Olivia stepped out of the crowd and into the space that no-one seemingly dared to enter.

"I told you Mrs Faye!" The vendor shouted, Olivia felt herself still and suddenly wish she had never stepped out the comfort of the crowd, "You cannot be stealing from my stall! I won't have it! I will call the coppers."

Faye. Faye. Faye. Faye. Faye.

Recognize the name? Hard to forget wasn't it? The last name of the man Olivia had killed, and the last name of her former best friend.

Olivia had once admired the name. Shelby was quite harsh, it had its own reputation. But, Faye had been soft and dainty like a little fawn perhaps. In the Bible it meant someone who was loyal, and beautiful. That had summed Eleanora up for Olivia once upon a time.

But, now to Olivia that same last name now held such a reputation and was stained with so much blood and betrayal that Olivia couldn't quite comprehend it without being back in that alleyway with the broken bottle neck and fighting for her life.

Olivia hated how easily she could be taken back there.

Jack grabbed onto her hand, and tried to pull her back into the crowd so that Mrs Faye didn't notice her.

But, Jack's hand was too large, and it was calloused but it wasn't comforting. It couldn't hold on tightly to Olivia and ground her.

She'd already been spotted by Mrs Faye.

Maria Faye had been a beautiful woman, from what the old photographs had shown. The dainty features, rosy cheeks and young eyes. They hadn't seen the real world yet. Her farm that her husband owned had kept her away from all this. The stealing, the grief: the true world. Her husband had died, in the war. And suddenly life was all about stealing and grief, because her husband's brother - Johnny - wasn't a good man, he wasn't a good worker and he spent all his money on the drink.

Maria wore black nearly every day of her life since the war. She grieved for her dead husband, the dead father to her children, the farm they'd lost, the life they'd lost. And all the happiness she'd lost.

Maria had thought that their son might have brought her happiness, a new life within a new bundle of joy. The little baby was no joy, and only held the features of all that she'd lost. And her daughter - Eleanora - had been doing everything in her power to try and make life better for her mother but it hadn't worked. Her daughter couldn't make her happy.

Nothing could.

Maria now wore black everyday, she had pale skin, sunken eyes and hollowed cheeks. She was starving, poor and far from happy whilst running on a lack of sleep from the child that cried for his daddy every night.

Life had never been a struggle like this before, not for Maria. She'd always had her support system, that had actually supported her.

Now she had nothing.

She didn't even have Johnny, and he hadn't been much of a support system in the first place.

Maria's eyes locked with Olivia's. The girl's face was ridded with grief of her own but the grieving woman would never know. "Olivia, it's not what it looks like—"

"It damn is!" The vendor interrupted. The grieving woman had been left off too many times for his liking, "Don't go try getting the Shelby scum to save you now. I've had enough of you Mrs Faye, takin' what ain't yours."

Shelby scum. Shelby scum.

Her feet were planted right back in that alleyway. The blood, the horrors. Her throat suddenly felt restrictive, like his hands were back, applying pressure and hoping to steal her life right from lungs.

Whilst Johnny Faye just watched.

Johnny Faye had always been a wretched man, he lacked the love of his parents and even his brother because he wasn't kind, he didn't share and he sure as hell didn't seem to care for anyone but himself. He never loved, and never expected to be loved. Everything was always done in the best interest of Johnny Faye, no-one else. Everyone else had to suffer as a consequence of his actions, the consequences which he blamed on everyone else but himself.

Eleanora had said it was almost like her father and Johnny weren't related, because they were such polar opposites. Her father had been a kind, loving man who had always put their family first. He'd never swung his fist, and had always doted on his wife and daughter. He would've loved to have doted on his son had he had the chance.

Olivia clenched her fists and tired to bring herself back here, to the market. With the crowds of people that had scared her at first, where she had felt seen. But now she needed them. She needed the crowds to remind her that she was not alone in that alleyway with the man who wanted to kill her.

The members of this crowd would probably love to kill her, but it was daytime: nobody would ever strike during daytime.

Olivia hurt herself with the strength she dug her nails into the skin of her palm.

She guessed that meant she was going it right.

"Sir—"

"Shelby you better step back."

"I think you ought to think about who you're talkin' to." Olivia stepped to stand beside Maria.

The littlest Faye was so small, even for his age now. Olivia imagined that came from his lack of nutrition. The Fayes could barely afford bread most days.

Eleanora had refused any handouts from the Shelbys, she didn't want to be indebted to them.

Olivia held her purse tightly in her one hand.

"You're gonna stop your yelling, 'cause your scaring the boy. Orright?" The little boy whimpered, hiding his face in his mother's neck and hiding from the mean, mean man who had been scolding his mother for just trying to survive.

"And you're gonna take a step back, now, away from Mrs Faye. 'M gonna give you a tenner and you'll be putting a handful of fresh produce, bread and whatever fuckin' else I can afford in a little basket, that Mrs Faye is gonna take home to her children."

"You with me?" Olivia raised her eyebrows, takin' a step towards to be so close with the man she swore she could smell his breath. (And it didn't smell nice.) "You ain't gonna go to the coppers, you ain't gonna mutter a word of this to anyone. You're gonna forgive and forget, ain't that right?"

"'Cause when Mrs Faye shows her face again at the market, you're gonna be the one to give her a handful of food as an order for the peaky blinders."

"But, Miss Shelby—"

Olivia clamped her hands on his shoulders, squeezing tightly, "I didn't tell ya to talk, I told you to take my tenner and go make up a basket, did you not hear me?"

He nodded his head and scurried back off to his stall.

Maria sighed in relief, "Olivia, oh, thank you."

Regrettably, this didn't feel good. Olivia would usually bask in the goodness a good deed gave her, savor it for a week or two and roll around in it. Not this time. She knew her action had been stained with guilt, and she couldn't accept the thank you.

No amount of thank yous would bring Johnny Faye back home.

"You don't need to thank me." Olivia whispered, opening her purse and grabbing on to the tenner for the man. There were other loose coins, and another note in there. Another tenner.

Olivia dumped all of her money into her hand.

Mrs Faye frowned in confusion.

Olivia grabbed onto the woman's spare hand that wasn't cradling her child and pushed all of her money into her hands. Into the hands of a Faye. Hands of a Faye that didn't try to kill her.

Hands that had been kind to her.

And would probably despise her if the truth ever came to light but that would never happen, so it would never matter.

"No, Olivia, I can't—" The grieving woman fumbled over her words.

Olivia shook her head, with a pitiful smile. "You can. You deserve that money a whole lot more than someone like me."

"It'll tide you over for a couple weeks, I think. If not, I know where to find you and I can put another note through the door." If it was anyone else, they would've noticed Olivia's act for what it was: an act of guilt. It it had been Eleanora, Charlotte. Hell, maybe even Finn.

No, that might've been giving Finn too much credit.

But, the grieving woman was too clouded with grief to even see it written all over Olivia's face. The face of a murderer that she'd kissed all over the cheeks and hugged tightly when the vendor had come back with a basket full of fresh goods that the Fayes hadn't eaten in months.

The crowd had dispersed, Maria went home and the chatter began again at the market.

The vendor had been put in his place by a Shelby, so nothing was really interesting about it anymore.

Olivia ran a hand down her face as it was just her and Jack left standing still in this area.

He wore a teasing smile, "Aren't you a Good Samaritan?"

A Good Samaritan felt a weight off their shoulders, felt good about their deed. Olivia felt disgusted with hers.

"Don't, Jack." Olivia warned, beginning her treck out of the marketplace and back home. The interaction felt like all the life had been sucked out of her, drained from her.

"Oh, c'mon, I'm only jokin'." He caught up with her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, "I mean I wouldn't have done it."

Olivia frowned, feeling the overwhelming need to shrug his arm off of shoulder now, "What d'ya mean you wouldn't have done it? You wouldn't have helped a starving, grieving family?"

"Nah." Jack sounded like he was smiling, and it was confirmed when Olivia looked up to see the smile on his face. Yet, it wasn't sweet and it only angered her. "If that starving, grieving family was of the same family as a guy that tried to kill me, I'd let them starve."

Hell, he probably had. Olivia knew he had killed before, that people had made threats on his life. She just hadn't expected such a callous attitude to him about the families of those he'd killed.

It wasn't as if Maria had organized the alleyway showdown. No. It had been Johnny. So, why - in Jack's eyes - did Maria have to suffer?

"The Fayes don't deserve that, Jack." She shrugged his arm off her shoulder, the pair of them coming to a standstill in the middle of the street. "Maria is a good woman, who has lost too much. And she has a kid—"

"And Eleanora, right? She's a Faye." Jack leant down so that he could whisper in Olivia's ear. "And she's one nasty piece of work, ain't she?"

He'd quoted Olivia. Olivia had said it out of anger, before she'd realized who she'd killed in the alleyway that night. When she was angry at the world, and angry at how Eleanora had treated her that night.

Olivia hadn't meant it, because her and Eleanora called each other nasty pieces of work all the time. It was how they worked. Olivia and Eleanora argued but they patched it, and they worked it out. It was healthy and it worked.

Olivia wished she'd never said it in the company of Jack if she'd known he would use it against her.

It made her wonder what else he would use against her.

Olivia shoved his shoulder, forcing him away from her, "What the hell is your problem? I can talk about Nora like that, not you."

Nora. Nora. It had fallen from Olivia's lips with such ease that in her moment of defending Eleanora she nearly forgot how she'd ruined their friendship, and the girl didn't even know it yet.

"Why not? You don't believe what you said anymore—"

Eleanora was always a nasty piece of work. But, she had been Charlotte and Olivia's nasty piece of work.

"It doesn't matter what I believe now, I just don't like you taking the words I said when I was angry and usin' 'em now." Olivia tried to stand her ground.

But, Jack smiled. It wasn't sweet like honey, or saccharine. It was malice. He held his hands up in defense. "Alright. But, you know that girl ain't your friend, Liv."

"Why are you being like this?" She was trying to keep a straight face, but she knew her bottom lip had wobbled slightly.

Jack was the only boy Olivia had ever felt interested in. The only boy she thought was sweet and annoying at the same time. Jack was the only boy who had ever made her scream into a bloody pillow and feel like she needed to wear her best dresses for him.

She'd even brushed her hair back into a nice ponytail. (He hadn't noticed.)

"Because what you did back there can't happen again, Olivia. You keep holding onto the Fayes knowing what you did. You have to let them go. Your guilt is clinging to them—"

Olivia laughed bitterly, "Like you'd know. You just told me that they should starve. Do you even feel guilty about all the shit you've done, Jack?"

"This ain't about me."

Olivia shook her head. Any other time he loved to make it about him. "'M going home."

Jack groaned, "C'mon, don't go. We were just having fun."

This wasn't fun anymore. And it wasn't exciting.

"I'm goin' home." She affirmed, staring at him blankly.

He looked so different to the boy that had stood by the wind chime and sung for her to buy it. He wasn't sweet, and he wasn't the Jack she knew. The one she was totally obsessed with and longed to know more about.

Olivia didn't want to know more about this Jack.

❋

"Where've you been?" Olivia had barely even stepped into the house before the question fell from Thomas' lips.

"Out." She solemnly responded.

Olivia would be quite happy if the day ended here and now, because all she wanted to do was wrap herself in her blankets and not leave her bed until the sun rose tomorrow. But, no doubt this conversation with Tommy would be long and last till tea time and Polly would beg them all to sit at the table and eat together.

Arthur would probably say he's off drinking.

John would bring up the new excuse of seeing Lizzie.

And Tommy would just leave with no excuse because he never needed one. He was Tommy, he could leave the table without so much of a response.

"The market, ey?"

Olivia didn't have the fight in her to care which blinder had ratted her out to Tommy. "Yeah."

Tommy was surprised at her honesty. "Right. With the cockney?"

Olivia hummed and her back tensed at the mere mention of Jack. She wasn't so sure he made her want to scream into a pillow anymore, or was just upset with his lack of sympathy towards a starving family.

"You love him?"

Olivia frowned and turned to face her brother, who sat on the settee. "What?"

"You love him?" He repeated the question that was just so topical in the Shelby's lives. John was in love, and now he thought Olivia was too. She might've laughed if she wasn't exhausted.

"Does it matter?" Olivia asked, "You're only gonna give me the same lecture that love is some foolish thing, and we're all gonna die alone so what's the Goddamn point."

"Don't let Polly hear you say that." He mused.

She rolled her eyes, stepping into the living room, "Go on then. I'm practically waiting for the word 'foolish' and 'naïve' to fall from your lips."

"'M not gonna say it." Tommy shrugged, looking up at his younger sister from his spot on the sofa. "I was just gonna tell you sommet else, but clearly you aren't in the mood."

Olivia squeezed her eyes shut. Only Tommy could choose now, when she was exhausted and utterly wiped out, to confide in her. She threw herself onto the armchair that Arthur would usually inhibit in the living room.

Olivia supposed this armchair was one of the only things Arthur loved: with his siblings and the booze being close behind. He'd claimed this seat for as long as Olivia had been alive, apparently it was the comfiest thing in the whole house.

Olivia had to disagree, but then as she got older she understood that they all loved things differently.

Some not at all.

(Tommy!)

"John's gettin' married."

"Whoopy-fucking-do." She lacked her earlier enthusiasm.

She thought John and Lizzie could be something out of a novel, a love that defied all odds and people's opinions. Because that's what love did. It made people shocked, surprised and most of all happy.

Now Olivia wasn't so sure, because she'd thought Jack was straight out of a novel and now she wasn't really sure what he was. There had been a malicious side to him today that she hadn't expected, one that the books hadn't warned her about or readied her for. It took her by surprise and she didn't quite know what to say about it.

Did it really matter? Was she supposed to be affected by it? She didn't know. She felt like she didn't know anything as of late.

Olivia felt obliged to feel affected by it because it was Nora. Nora's family didn't deserve to starve, and Olivia had been so shocked to hear those words fall from his lips.

"To a Lee."

Now, Olivia hadn't crossed paths with Lizzie frequently but the woman was famous in Small Heath. And Olivia knew for sure that Lizzie's last name was Stark not Lee.

And the last name Lee was in fact the name of the family the Shelbys, and the Kimbers, were at war with.

So, unless Lizzie had undergone a name change in the last 24 hours... Tommy had to be wrong.

"No."

"Yes."

"What—?"

"For the war." Tommy said, "To bring the Shelbys and the Lees to peace. There's a girl, a firecracker who needs to be calmed down. She's perfect for John."

"Oh, so you've met the woman you're marrying John off to?"

There was a pause. And in that pause Olivia felt a strong urge to strangle sense into Tommy.

"Tommy—!" She groaned in annoyance, slouching into the armchair, "So, you don't know what she's like, if she's kind, horrid or sweet?"

"No."

"Don't you see the problem there!" She asked. She couldn't quite believe this.

Tommy paused again. This hadn't been a problem. He was trying to solve their original problem of Lizzie Stark, and had apparently created a whole new problem!

"It'll be fine. She's a Lee, she's better than Lizzie."

Olivia scoffed, "I can't believe you."

"Look, this is better for the family, better for John, and better for his kids. Orright? I didn't do this just for the business."

"But, the business came first, right?"

Tommy didn't answer.

"John will flip his shit. He doesn't love this girl." Olivia argued, "He's never even met her. Won't know her name till he's at the damned altar."

"He doesn't love Lizzie." Tommy said, "She doesn't love him. They aren't right for each other—"

"How would you know?!"

"I paid her." Tommy couldn't look at Olivia's shocked face, "I paid for her services and when she accepted I then declined and told her that if she didn't want to hurt John she wouldn't go through with this."

Evil. Olivia thought all men might actually be evil.

She was foolish to believe in love. But, she wasn't cruel enough to destroy the possibility of love.

"I can't believe you."

"Believe it." Tommy said determinedly, "It's happenin'. And soon. You've got to keep your mouth shut."

"Don't mention it to Kimber, John or anyone." He demanded.

"Why would I tell Kimber?"

"He's comin' down tomorrow and if he finds out, he'll rip the betting license up in front of us."

Tommy sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, "And I know you're angry at us, probably even angrier now. But, I'm doin' what's for the best. For us, John, the business. And who knows, he might even fall in love with this girl."

Olivia stood up from the armchair, staring at her brother and shaking her head, "I'm still angry."

"I know."

"Just glad we could clear that up."

Tommy nodded his head. This was possibly the best communication he and Olivia had ever had, mostly because she was too tired to fight back. (Which meant she was too tired to answer questions about the Cockney but that was for another day.)

"No amount of fixed marriages and your promise of there being love there is gonna make up for that."

"Love ain't always like it is in the books, Liv." Tommy said, it was almost whimsical how he spoke. Olivia thought it was unheard of. "This might work out better than you think, and maybe John can love someone who really loves him."

Tommy was speaking of love in a positive manner.

Olivia thought the world war ending. This was unheard of. It felt foreign to hear.

Maybe Tommy was joining her side of things after all.

❋

Olivia Shelby was not loving life at this precise moment in time. Tommy Shelby, who she was on the ropes with but not completely (she was frankly still too tired to understand) had the nerve to come and wake her up this morning and demand her presence in the shop.

It wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't seven o'clock in the morning and she hadn't been bundled up nice and warm under her bedding.

He had some real nerve.

Olivia had rolled out of her bed with a groan, dressed slowly and made Tommy wait to the point that he'd woken up everyone else in the house shouting for her to come down. Olivia wasn't too sure that move had landed her in anybody's favor because Polly had been angry at Tommy for shouting but Polly and Finn had been angry at Olivia for getting the older man riled up.

A load of codswallop if you asked Olivia.

So, here Olivia was. She usually wouldn't be too annoyed working hours in the shop, the men were usually chatty and it meant some money in her pockets. (Which she definitely needed to restock on considering she'd given all her money to Mrs Faye.)

Today however, Olivia was not loving the shop. The men were annoying her, and usually the table she shared with Scudboat was tolerable. After all, Scud was a large man with lots of muscle and leg, so he took up a fair amount of room. Olivia could usually handle it. Yet, today she felt like she could quite happily just seat herself in another room.

Even better, another house.

Olivia was so tired because she was so confused. About everything. Which usually didn't happen because she knew everything. But, when it came to the Shelbys and love: Olivia wasn't too sure she knew about that.

"C'mon, girl." Scud nudged her with the heel of his shoe. She hasn't been all there this morning, and whilst Scud was concerned about that he knew it wouldn't be long until Tommy walked in and gave the girl an even larger warning than a little nudge to her foot.

Olivia rubbed at her eyes. Love was confusing. And Olivia wasn't all too sure she loved love anymore. "Yeah, yeah." She waved a hand at him.

Love was a lot messier after the events of yesterday. People were weird. And marriages wouldn't be built on love but instead familial peace.

The dots weren't connecting for Olivia.

"This way." And to make matters worse, Olivia heard the voice of her brother leading someone through the betting shop.

"You got kids working for ya?" Olivia heard another cockney. One who didn't sound half as good as Jack, and was actually a repulsive man who stood at the end of her and Scud's shared table.

Olivia looked up at him and narrowed her eyes. The last thing she needed, (or ever wanted!) was to meet Billy Kimber. She would've been quite happy to never encounter him ever.

But, no!

The universe just had to be against her.

Tommy merely hummed. He hadn't exactly planned for Kimber and Olivia to converse, and he'd be much happier if they didn't.

Kimber glanced back to Olivia's brother, "She yours?"

"No. Sister." Tommy responded stiffly. Billy Kimber was a repulsive man. Tommy wanted him as far from Olivia as you could throw him.

Kimber smiled grimly.

Olivia shrunk in her chair, because men now inspired fear in her. A handful of months ago she would've bit back, a snark remark falling from her lips. But, now she curled into her shell and let it happen.

Johnny Faye had stolen all her bite.

"Follow me, Mr Kimber." Tommy ordered, gruffly. He had to respect Kimber, even if he didn't mean it. But, Tommy allowed himself to get snappy when it came down to Liv.

The men trailed off into the office, and soon Tommy called John, Lovelock and Scud in there too.

Olivia laughed to herself as Tommy's team stood in his office. The three most rough looking men you could've imagined stood opposite Kimber and his pompous follower.

They were soon leaving, a sheet of paper in Tommy's hand, and Kimber muttering, "Best be off to the see the boy."

None of the blinders or Shelbys really cared for whatever business Kimber had to care to.

All they cared about was that piece of paper.

Arthur stood behind Olivia's chair and squeezed her shoulders to signal for her to stand up, she did so and her eldest brother essentially dragged her to where Tommy stood.

"Gentlemen." Tommy cleared his throat.

Polly and Olivia rolled their eyes, locking eyes across the table and objecting loudly.

"And ladies."

"I have in my hand a legal betting license. Issued by the Board of Control. The Shelby family has its first legal racetrack pitch." The announcement sent roaring cheers throughout the room.

And Tommy even smiled.

Polly clapped loudly, exclaiming happily as John and Tommy embraced. Arthur gripped onto Olivia's arms and spun her around.

She giggled. "Stop it!" She pleaded, the giggles falling from her lips mercilessly.

Arthur did stop at her pleading, and instead embraced her in a hug, wrapping his arms around her and resting his chin atop of her head. He swayed slightly.

Olivia's heart warmed.

Arthur glanced up to see Polly kissing Tommy on the cheek, and decided they best join the other members of their family.

Again, in his excitement Arthur had neglected the fact he was dragging Olivia around like his personal rag doll. She might've minded if it had been anyone else, but it was Arthur.

Arthur who often wasn't excited by anything in life but booze.

She'd let him have this.

It was not long before Olivia had managed to find herself squished between Arthur and John who had embraced in some sort of man hug, which consisted of holding each other close and Arthur slapping the back of John's head repeatedly, whilst the younger of the two did the same to Arthur's shoulder.

Men were a bit weird was what Olivia had concluded from that hug.

John had then looked down at their younger sister with a smirk, pulling Arthur in so that they could squish their sister between them.

"Oi!" She protested, the sound of her voice muffled by the men cheering and the material of her brother's clothing. "Pricks."

Polly rolled her eyes, pulling away from Tommy, "Oi! Knock it off you pair. Don't ruin such a lovely moment."

Olivia huffed in agreement as John pulled away and laughed to himself, "Yeah. Don't ruin such a lovely moment, pricks."

Polly swatted the girl on the arm, "Where'd you learn that word from?"

"John."

"What!?"

Tommy chuckled quietly as Polly began to scold the man.

He soon wrapped his arm around his littlest sister, and pulled her in tightly to his side. He kissed the crown of her head. "All yours one day, Liv."

"All yours."

Olivia valued love. Like any sane person. She thought it was the most important thing in the world being loved, and showing love. And there was perhaps no greater feeling, not that Olivia would know because she's never been in love.

Love was foreign to Olivia, all she had was the numerous amounts of books that she'd read. In all those books the love had been provided by significant others. Always the partner.

Maybe in Olivia's story love did not have to come from someone like Jack. Instead her love could come from the arms that had safely enveloped since she was hours old.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:
olivia's exhaustion comes from me being downright exhausted omds, and the ending is so rushed simply because of that reason

also i'm not fixing the layout of this chapter and it will stay how it is until wattpad get their shit together. (which i hope is soon because i can't live like this.)