Driving up to the beach house after so many summers have passed, Jules is as nervous as she was before her very first ballet recital.

She must have been four or five at the time, wearing a pink tutu and glitter on her face, her black hair secured in a tight bun. Jules felt butterflies swarming in her stomach as she peeked behind the curtain at the audience. She reminded herself that she'd practised the choreography so much that she'd be able to do it in her sleep — and as soon as the music started, all her worries melted away.

That's the secret comfort Jules found in dancing: knowing exactly what steps to take and when, knowing that something emerged from all the hours she'd spent practising and overthinking and worrying about being perfect.

Now, over a decade and dozens of performances later, Jules finds herself unsure of what steps to take. There was no cure for the butterflies in her stomach. There was no guarantee that something would come from all her overthinking — there was no more cause to overthink. The past few months had been like that: a freedom that was both welcomed and intimidating.

Jules' mother and sister Nini (real name Nina) are on the porch swing when Jules pulls into the driveway. She gets out of the car, taking in the familiar shade of yellow and gentle sea breeze that welcomes her.

"You're here!" Nini exclaims as she runs to greet Jules. The four year old is about half Jules' size, but the hug she gives Jules is bone crushing. "I'm so excited you're here, Juju!"

Jules' mother smiles as she pulls her into a hug. "Hi, honey. How are you?"

"Good," Jules answers. "Glad to be back." She can't help but let a little sarcasm slip at that last part.

"I know it wasn't your first choice to spend your summer here, but —"

"You and Dad thought it'd be best for me to get out of the city," Jules finishes, rolling her eyes. She grabs her bags from the trunk and locks the car before following her family into the house. "I've heard it a hundred times."

"Let's go to the beach!" Nini jumps up and down, completely unaware of the circumstances.

"Sweetie, I think Juliet might be a little tired from the drive." Jules' step-mom Sonali, enters the foyer. "Hi, hon." She hugs Juliet, then turns to Nini. "How about you help me make cupcakes for your sleepover tonight?"

As Sonali and Nini disappear into the kitchen, Jules makes her way up the stairs to her room.

Everything looks the same as when she left: pink walls decorated with polaroids and watercolor paintings, her favorite books from middle school, a closet full of clothes that Jules has most definitely outgrown. Jules' pink jewelry box — a gift from Susannah Fisher — rests in the center of her dresser. She opens it and music from The Sleeping Beauty starts playing as a ballerina slowly twirls around. When she sees the turquoise mood ring she used to never go a day without wearing, Jules reminds herself that this was once her home.

It's like walking into a time capsule; nostalgic, familiar, uncertain.

Once she's done unpacking, Jules drives over to the club, where her mom said the others would be. There was a party for Laurel's book release at 6, so she had time to kill before then. It's good, because Jules absolutely kills time trying to not get lost in the country club she'd probably visited a total of two times before now.

Soon enough, the first person Jules runs into — literally — is Stephen.

"Sorry," Jules says, handing a fractured plate to Stephen who is still picking up shards of porcelain. "This is not the way we should be reuniting after three years."

Steven furrows his brow, but his eyes widen once they land on Jules. "No fucking way. Jules!" Steven exclaims. "Thought you'd never come back here, man." Same old Steven: always blunt, always laughing.

Me neither, Jules thinks. "Yeah, well, I'm here. Sorry about..." Jules gestures to the ground. "All this."

Steven shrugs. "If they dock my pay, it's on you."

"Fair enough," Jules laughs. "Where's Belly?"

"Oh, you're gonna love this." Steven points to the room to their right. "She's in there having high tea as an introduction to her debutante season."

"Debutante season?"

"Yeah. It's the type of thing your pretentious ass would love."

Jules scoffs, but she smirks. "Fuck off, Steven. I know you missed my pretentious ass."

He stands, along with Juliet, balancing the silver tray in his hand. "Whatever. Go check it out. I gotta get back to work." And, without another word, Steven disappears into the maze that is Cousins Beach Country Club.

Jules stands in the doorway to the tea room and suddenly feels very underdressed in her cutoff shorts and light pink Crocs; also, very much aware of the knee brace she put on before leaving the house. Three hours a day and when you sleep at night, Jules' father reminds her constantly. He sent a text about it twenty minutes ago.

She manages to catch Belly's eye from across the room. Belly's expression shifts from surprise to joy in under a millisecond. She whispers something to the girl next to her and runs over to where Jules is standing, practically jumping into her arms.

"Okay, be real with me." Jules pulls away to place her hands on Belly's shoulders. "Is this a 'lemon jelly belly' situation?" Jules half-jokes, referring to the code phrase they'd have for uncomfortable situations. It might have been childish (they were kids at the time), but more than anyone, Jules knows what it's like to be pushed into something too quickly, too soon. Even after all these years, and even though Belly is only a year younger, Jules is ready to defend her at all costs.

"No," Belly laughs. She squeals and hugs Jules again, tightly, to reassure her. "I'm so happy you're here! I missed you so much."

"I missed you too, Jelly Bean," Jules replies.

The sound of someone clearing their throat causes the girls to break apart. A stern looking woman raises her eyebrow at Belly before casting her gaze towards Jules.

"Isabel." The woman looks Jules up and down, and Jules can't help but feel uncomfortable. Jules gets an eerie sense of deja vu, remembering all the times she'd have to stand tall in a leotard in front of her dance instructor. Lemon jelly belly. "We're waiting for you."

"Sorry, Paige." Belly makes eye contact with Jules as she says this, as though apologising for their reunion being interrupted.

"No worries," Jules assures Belly. "I guess I'll see you at your mom's book party."

"Actually, I have a date." Belly blushes. "But you can come sleepover after?"

Jules nods and flashes another smile before letting Belly get back to the tea room. She seems to remember a text conversation with Jeremiah about their summer plans — before Jules had known she would be shipped off to Cousins. Jeremiah knew at the time that he would be lifeguarding at the club, so Jules knew just where to find him.

"Jeremiah Fisher!" she calls from across the pool area. "Did you miss me?"

"No. Fucking. Way. Jules!"

Jeremiah's smile was always golden in Jules memory, but this one beat all the ones before. Because Jules is here and Jeremiah runs to her so fast, he's practically a blur. He picks her up and spins her around.

"Jere," Jules giggles, half scolding, fully floating.

"Sorry, sorry!" he laughs, setting her down. "I just — I can't believe you're here. How come you didn't tell me you were coming?"

"Yeah, well." Jules shrugs. "I thought you liked surprises."

"Well, I do." There's that smile again, warming Jules' heart. "Especially if it involves seeing you."

"Jeremiah!" A girl, about their age, calls. She's just outside the pool area entrance, wearing a sundress and fascinator hat. The girl is probably part of the debutante tea Belly is at. "Can you come here for a sec?" Jeremiah hesitates.

"She's cute," Jules notes, nudging Jeremiah's arm.

"She's not your type," Jeremiah quips.

"And you know my type after all these years?" Jules teases. The girl who called Jeremiah clears her throat loudly, letting the pair know to hurry up. "You better get going. We'll catch up later."

Jeremiah plants a kiss on Jules' cheek before running off.

Her last stop is the Fisher's house, right next door to her own family's.

She knocks once, twice, three times. There's no answer, so Jules figures that everyone else is either in town or at the beach. She starts to walk away when she hears the front door open.

"Excuse me!" Laurel's voice calls after Jules. Jules turns around, and the shock on Laurel's face is clear. "Jules! Oh my God, I almost didn't recognize you!"

"Three summers can do that," Jules notes.

Jules reaches the door and Laurel brings her into a tight hug. Laurel invites Jules into the house, which is just as familiar as her own.

They walk into the kitchen, and Jules finds herself taking the seat she had once claimed as her own — a stool at the counter, third from the left. Laurel grabs a pitcher of sweet tea from the fridge while Jules reaches over to take two glasses from the drying rack.

"I knew your moms were being secretive this morning at breakfast," Laurel states, taking a sip of her drink. "Are you here for the whole summer?" Jules nods. Laurel smiles, checks her watch, then sighs. "In that case, I've gotta get back to writing, but you're coming to my book party?" Jules nods again.

With one final see you later, Jules is left alone in the kitchen. She wonders if the Fishers still keep the cereal in the same cabinet; if their cupboards are filled with the same sugary snacks Jules was never allowed to have, but she and the boys would sneak when the adults weren't looking.

"Juliet, my darling rose, is that you?"

To this day, Jules' spirits lift when Susannah walks into the room. There's something magical about her smile, about the way she makes people feel special even if they might not feel it themselves.

Instantly, Jules rises from her seat and hugs Susannah.

"You have no idea how happy I am that you're here this summer," Susannah whispers. As they break away from their hug, Susannah places her hands on Jules' cheeks. She looks happy and healthy, but tired. Jules can't help but think of the years she'd be gone when Susannah and her family were dealing with so much. There was only so much connection texts, calls, and emails could provide. But, to be here, seeing Susannah Fisher alive and well?

It was almost too much.

Tears threaten to spill, but Jules swallows them. Instead, she replies: "So am I." And, more than ever, she means it.

"Conrad's out back if you want to come say hi. I'm painting his portrait. He's been a bit down lately, but if anyone can make him feel better, it's you."

Jules feels her cheeks heat up. She finishes the rest of her sweet tea and puts her glass in the dishwasher. "I'll, uh, let you keep painting — I should go get ready for Laurel's book party."

"Alright. I'll see you there, sweetie."

"Yes," Jules confirms. She starts to walk away before hearing Susannah's voice again:

"And, Juliet?" Jules turns around. "I'm so glad you're home."

Jules smiles. She once loved spending her summers here — maybe she can love it again.

author's note!

Okay so I rewatched the show again .... originally this was going to be a Jeremiah fic but  I think I might add some Conrad into the mix. It won't be exactly like Belly's storyline in the show, though! 

Jules' character and backstory is  going to be explored a lot -- she is/used to be a ballerina and her life was really intense for a while, and it took a toll on her. Her experience with parental pressure, gendered expectation, and body image will be explored. She and Conrad are similar in some ways (daddy issues? daddy issues.) which is not necessarily always the best thing. 

Anyways, I'm definitely feeling end of summer feels so expect this fic to be updated soon! Thanks for reading <3