"I fell in love with you for four reasons. I moved on because of one."

v - We'll never be more than friends

I wanted to confess to you so, so badly. More than anything in the world it would have been my wish to tell you three words. So simple, so complex, and so difficult to understand. "I love you." I couldn't tell if that was too hard to say. But I know now that it is.

I could've told you how much I wanted you to be mine. Except you wouldn't have loved me back.

I knew you more than anyone else in this entire universe. I used to ask myself if I was the predictable one out of the two of us. All along you were the most predictable; before you'd even get a single syllable out of your mouth, I could tell your feelings. I knew what you'd say. And those times when I thought you were unpredictable, I was just staring at your blindside.

I figured out now that I was too early. I'm too early to not be rejected. Final words, you'd never love me back. I was the one who fell for you. Who stupidly, selfishly, foolishly, thought I couldn't be turned down. I'm wrong. Oh, am I so wrong.

You're as predictable as I think you are--as I know you are. You would never look at me the same way I see you. Not now and not even if I had the guts to confess. I'm not your lover, not your sister, not your girlfriend, not your best friend. I'm just your friend. I'm nothing but a friend. Nothing more, nothing less.

But it's because you view everything in an equal manner. Everything equal, everything balanced, nothing tilted, nothing bent.
No one could be lower than the friend scale to you, and that applied to everyone. The worst part about it was that no one could be higher than that. Once a friend, always a friend.

Every minute I dedicate to you is pointless, am I wrong? It doesn't boost our relationship. How I spend my days away laughing with you is meaningless if we're not even going to be best friends.

You... I simply don't understand you, and you truly don't understand me. We're even, see? There! Does that balance out your scales? Huh? I hate the way you keep everyone at the same level. I hate your dumb friendship scale. We'll never get out of the friend zone. Ha!

I wish you were just a bit different, Len. Just the tiniest movement out of your comfort zone and I would have confessed to you already. That didn't happen, now did it? All I ever wanted was just for you to look me in the eyes and say "I love you, too, Rin." But that day won't come.

Up until now we're still friends. I talk to you less than before and act more stoic when you're around me. Your talks haven't given me much motivation like way back then, and I don't know if that's okay.

For what feels like the longest time, it's only been six months since you first tripped in the hallway. I secretly developed a crush for you from then on and we've only been friends.

Len, I don't plan to give these pages to you. I can't and I never will. You'll never know that I once loved you. It was a pity love, but a desperate love.

Reason one I moved on was because you'll never change.