Songs for this chapter are:

Made Up Love Song #43- Lewis Watson 

Remains of You- Mads Langer

Fall Away- The Fray

...

Nora's POV.

The sidewalk is hard under my feet and each step on the pavement brings another memory of Landon. The crinkle by his eyes when he smiles that sweet, shy smile. The way his hands feel on me.

I've made such a mess. Why do I always make a mess everywhere I go?

The last few weeks have made me feel things I forgot how to feel. I've felt happy. It sounds simple, to feel happy, but it's an accomplishment for someone like me. Living my life for other people, living in a prison, made me forget how it feels to be simply happy.

"Hey!" A woman's voice shouts behind me. The familiarity of the voice creeps through me and my scalp prickles.

I turn around to see Dakota standing against the front of an art supply store window. Her curly hair is pulled back from her face and she's dressed up like she's going to a funeral. Her black skirt hits just above her knees and her navy blazer is too big on her small frame. It's odd to see her in these clothes when I'm used to seeing her in gym or ballet clothes. I don't have time to deal with her, not today. I don't have the energy to waste on her.

"I'm on my way somewhere." I tell her as she approaches me. I look up to Landon's building, to be sure he didn't follow me. The idiotic part of my heart wanted him to, even though it wouldn't end well if he did.

"So am I," Dakota says. "We need to talk."

I shake my head and push past her. We definitely don't need to do that.

"We have nothing to talk about, Dakota."

"You know that's not true." There's a hint of a threat in her tone and I whirl around to face her.

"What? What do you want to talk about?" I raise my hands in the air in frustration.

"You just came from Landon's apartment. I thought we had an agreement."

I roll my eyes and drop my head back. She can't be serious. I'm too old to play this game with an immature brat who wants a toy she already threw away.

"Are you kidding me? We are fucking grown, Dakota. I'm twenty-five years old. I'm too old to play these games with you. Landon is old enough to make his own choices, in life and love." The last word tastes weird in my mouth.

I should have just walked away from her when I saw her, yet I couldn't.

"Love?" she chokes, "Love? You think that Landon loves you?"

I shake my head. No, I don't think that. I know he doesn't love me. We won't get that far before everything explodes in my face.

"Good. Because he doesn't. You can't come into his life and weasel your way in. He's too good for you," Dakota pushes her hand out and rests it on her hip.

I step toward her. "I don't care." I keep my face neutral.

If she thinks I don't care, maybe she will go away?

Dakota's lips turn into a fake smile. She's tiny, but she scares me a little sometimes. Like the night she came back to the apartment with liquor on her breath and wild eyes. She kept asking for my phone to call her brother, saying she needed to see him.

She never opened up to me enough to tell me how he died, but I knew he wasn't living any more. She cried and cried in the kitchen, hiding under the table. She screamed at me when I tried to give her a glass of water and threw the glass across the kitchen. She didn't even flinch when the glass shattered against the wall.

The next morning, I pulled her from the floor and Maggy helped me carry her into her bedroom. From that day on, I knew something inside of her was broken.

Dakota's eyes are feral on me, reminding me of how untamed she is. "Good. Neither does he. He likes to fix things and people and he saw you," her eyes take me in.

I cut her off, "I get it. Now leave me alone." We don't have time for her to list off all the ways I need saving.

I begin to walk away from Dakota, but she grabs my arm and jerks me back. I take a deep breath and keep walking. My fingers itch to lash out at her, but I keep them at my side as I move.

She follows. "Why did you do it? Can you at least tell me why you pretended to be my friend to get close to my boyfriend?"

"That wasn't a part of it. I didn't-" I begin, but she interrupts me.

"Yes you did. Stop the lies, Nora. Does Landon know that you knew the whole time?"

I grit my teeth. "Shut up."

It's much more complicated than this. This is all too complicated to discuss on the sidewalk. Of course he doesn't know. I led him to believe Dakota didn't talk about her feelings for him, or even mention him. He knows nothing, about anything. I feel so close to him, even though he doesn't know anything.

Dakota is still walking with me, but at least I'm almost to the Subway station now. She won't follow me all the way to Scarsdale. She's not that bold.

"I think if he knew how calculated this whole thing was, he would run from you. He doesn't like liars, or stalkers. And I'm assuming he has no idea what's in Scarsdale." Dakota's words cut little slashes into me and the air burns them as we walk.

"I trusted you, Sophia. I thought we were friends. We let you live with us."

I glare at her. I don't do well with threats, a little fact about me that she will learn very, very quickly, if she keeps talking to me like she is. "I filled an ad on a website and ended up living with you. You weren't doing me any favors."

Dakota lifts her purse higher onto her shoulder. I didn't even notice she was wearing one. What am I doing arguing with her? Still?

"Yes and when we met, I saw you hold that picture frame for a few seconds too long. You knew the entire time who he was," Dakota blinks and her eyes focus on the building next to us. "All those questions you asked about him, about our relationship. I was nice to you, Sophia. So was Maggy."

Maggy, who spent two hours putting her makeup on in our small bathroom, was the nicer of the two. From the day I arrived at the apartment, I felt the division between the three of us. Me versus them.

"What is it that you want, Dakota?" I finally ask her. I take the steps down to the Subway slowly and she's right behind me. It briefly crosses my mind that she could push me down the stairs.

"I want to know what's happening with you and Landon and I want to ask you, well, beg you to leave him be. He's the only thing I have," her words float around me. I wish the Subway was more crowded than it is, so I could slip into the crowd and disappear.

I wait until we reach the bottom of the stairs before I respond. Dakota wants me to stay away from Landon, something I can't do. Even when I tried, I couldn't.

She doesn't stop talking. "Don't you have enough? Your rich family, your big houses all over the country. The money you get every month from-"

"Look, Dakota," I begin. She has no idea what she's saying. My family being wealthy has nothing to do with me wanting Landon. The fact that she sees the two as parallel say a lot about how she sees him. I can't tell if she views him as an object, or equivalent to riches.

"I don't know what to tell you. You broke up with Landon months ago and you've been seeing-"

"I was confused. I see that now. I needed attention and Landon wasn't here. I felt lonely and Maggy said I should be single my first year of college. Everyone always says that. All those stupid movies say it too," she explains.

I never understood this idea of being single during college. Yes, it's important to be independent, and college is when you figure out who you are, and what you want. But, if you already have an amazing man, why would you ruin that just to party and hook up with random guys?

"So you want me to stay away from Landon so you can get back with him?" I finally ask her.

"If he will take me back, yes. He was mine from the beginning. Since before he even knew you. Before you saw that picture of him."

"I met him before that. My parents know his, remember?" I defend myself. Dakota is good at making me feel crazier than I am.

She nods slowly. "Yes, I remember. But I also remember the hours we spent talking about him, the many, many times I told you how much I love him and missed him and even that time you told me to sleep with Aiden."

My entire body is covered in small slashes now. With every word, I feel more and more like a monster. She may as well be pouring salt water into the cuts she's making into my skin. Hearing Dakota say she loves Landon is the equivalent of that to me and her blaming all of this on me, possibly rightfully so, makes it much, much worse.

"Can you stop walking and just talk to me, please?" Her voice is soft, sad even.

I face her. "What will make you happy? If I stay one-hundred feet away from him at all times? Tessa is my friend, too and he lives with her. And Landon is happy with me. Dakota, let him be happy."

Her lip quivers and she swallows. "How do you know he's happy?"

What a loaded question.

Because I can feel it... I want to tell her, but won't.

"How do you know he's happy, Nora?" She asks. So now it's back to Nora...

Tears prick my eyes. "I just know he is. Maybe I'm wrong, I don't know him like you do."

Her eyes stay on mine. "No, no, you don't."

I sigh and look around the station. A man and woman are holding hands while they wait for the train. They have to be at least sixty and when he leans down and kisses the top of her gray hair, my heart feels heavy.

How is it possible for my heart to feel so heavy, when it's so empty?

"I don't have anyone, Nora. I thought I had you, but a friend wouldn't do what you did," she stops and frowns.

She's right. I was never a friend to her. I never wanted to be. I only wanted him. I should feel guilty, but it's hard to when I know how she treats him. Like a lap dog. He's not a fucking lap dog. He's so much more than that. More than either of us deserve.

"I'm sorry for how things went down," I tell her, half meaning it. "I didn't mean to hurt you, things just happened this way."

Dakota regards me and I see a tear roll down her cheek before she can wipe it away. I know it will kill her that I saw her vulnerability. I choose to show her kindness and ignore it.

"Landon and I have something real, Nora. We have loved each other since we were kids. He's been there for me through everything. Through my dad's abuse, my brother's death. We've suffered together in ways that you would never understand. He's my person, Nora. He's my person, my only person, and I know I haven't treated him the way he deserves, but I was being stupid and now I see that. Now I know that I have to do everything I can to make sure he knows how much I love him and appreciate him."

Her words make me shudder. I'm going to throw up, I can feel it coming. Acid burns in the base of my throat. I can't listen to her talk about him like this. I physically can't handle listening to her say his name or explain the depth of their connection.

I stay silent, unable to offer her any words.

She starts talking again and I wish I could press a button and turn my ears off.

"To you, he's a piece of a game. You're just having fun with him and he's just having fun with you. Fun, that's it," she says, matter of factly. "But to me, he's the other half of me. He's the one person I can count on in this world. I have years and years with him and even though you may think you can, you can't compete with that. I don't want to hurt you," she says, and for some reason I believe her.

That doesn't make it hurt any less. "I've lost my mom, my brother, my dad is going to die any day now. I can't lose Landon too." Her voice breaks into full sobs and she covers her face with her hands. Strangers stare at us as they pass.

When did I become such a shitty person?

"Please, Nora. Give me another chance to be who he needs me to be," she wipes her hand across her nose and looks back up at me. Her shoulders are shaking with sobs and I can't help but feel for her.

Who am I to come into their life and tear them apart? She may be awful, but there is a soft part of her that always drew me to her. I don't hate her, I never have. I just knew she didn't deserve Landon. But, now that she's in front of me, sobbing into her shaking hands, who am I to decide that?

She's right, I don't know him.

She does.

I don't love him.

She does.

I don't deserve him.

And maybe, she does.

"Fine," I pull her hands away from her face. She wipes her eyes again and looks at me. I don't know what else to say to her.

"I'll go away." I promise her and walk away, blending into a pool of strangers before she can stop me. 

(Author's Note: I'm updating tomorrow :) I'm planning my travel for next year and I'm already getting excited about it. Where do you live, and have I signed there already? I hope you all have a good day, my car is FINALLY here from Texas, I was beginning to think they lost it lol. Happy Thursday!)