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Chapter #17 : Won't Stay Long

~Here I stand,
helpless and left for dead.
Close your eyes,
so many days gone by.
Easy to find what's wrong,
harder to find what's right.
I believe in you,
I can show you that
I can see right through
all your empty lies.
I won't stay long,
in this world so wrong.
Say goodbye,
as we dance with the devil tonight.
Don't you dare look at him in the eye,
as we dance with the devil tonight.
Trembling,
crawling across my skin.
Feeling your cold dead eyes,
stealing the life of mine.
I believe in you,
I can show you that
I can see right through
all your empty lies.
I won't last long,
in this world so wrong.
Hold on, hold on~

NICO POV

"Finally! I knew it!" Piper squealed in joy, jumping out of a chair she was currently sat on, and racing towards me.

My eyes grew wide with panic. I was just considering running away from her when her fingers wrapped around my wrist, pulling me away from an apologetic looking Jason, bursting out of his cabin doors dragging me behind her, and sprinting towards the Hades cabin. Once inside, she slammed the door shut behind us, locked it, closed my opened curtains, and pushed me onto my bed in a matter of seconds. This worried me slightly, as you can probably tell. I sat there, frozen in my spot as McLean pulled out my black desk chair and sat down in it beside my bed, facing me. She seems to have calmed down, but she still buzzed with energy and a small smile played on her heart shaped lips. I stared back at her as she cocked her head slightly to the side, her eyes full of expectation. Yet I still didn't say a thing and scratched the back of my neck awkwardly. Well, can you blame me when the daughter of Aphrodite- the crazy lady that kidnapped me not that long ago -was staring so intently at me as if I were some little puppy that broke its paw but still tried running?

"Well?" Piper dragged out.

I looked looked back at her and shrugged my shoulders while pursing my lips in a 'I have no clue what you possibly want from me, but it looks like I'm stuck here anyways' manner. She clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth and threw her hands up in exasperation. Then she leant back in her (my) chair, returning to a serious yet extremely excited teenage girl.

"You can not just simply tell me you desperately need my help because you have feelings for a guy who happens to be none other than Perseus Jackson, son of Poseidon, and not give me any details, Nico di Angelo." She breathed out in disbelief. "C'mon, what's up? What are you going to do?"

I stared at her for a moment with my eyebrows raised. When I finally did open my mouth to speak, Piper smiled, encouraging me to go on.

"I never said I was in desperate need of your help, McLean. And Jason was the one who dragged me into his cabin, and he was the one who told you that I, erm, fancy someone of the, uhh... Same gender. Just to be sure you got your facts straight." I replied with narrowed eyes.

She scoffed and rolled her eyes at me in impatience. "Well that makes one thing of yours that's straight..." She coughed out, earning a death glare from me.

"Alright, alright!" Piper threw her arms up in surrender. "I'm totally supporting any kind of love, no matter the gender or whatever, and you know that. I mean, most of my cabin and the Apollo cabin are gay. Who knew, right? But seriously, Nico. What's really going on with you, and Percy, and the both you? What are you going to do?"

"I'm not going to do anything." I muttered stubbornly. "And what do you mean 'and the both of you'?"

"Oh my gods... Really?" She asked as she sighed deeply in her (again, my) chair. "Please tell me you're joking, Ghosty."

I gave her a pointed look, losing my patience. "Does it honestly look like I'm joking around, McLean?"

She cleared her throat and sighed. "Well, okay, fine. Let me tell you what I can, then. I know something happened between you two a couple days ago. I think everyone in camp can tell whenever you've been in a fight or if there's a little tension in the air. Anyway, no matter what happened, I think you should speak to him. And maybe apologise while you're at it."

"W-what? I don't know what the hell you are talking about. And I most definitely will not be apologising for anything. I was only speaking my mind! Can't a guy have some doubts about himself without being accused of being the bad guy?" I huffed. "I-I just can't speak to him, okay? I haven't even accepted what I am to myself, so how can I even face him? Especially after what I did and... Don't you dare tell anyone about this, got it? And how in Hades did you know me and Percy had a 'fight' a couple days ago, anyway?"

"Calm down a moment, first of all, alright? I'm only here to help, remember that." Piper said in a soft tone, making me relax back into my bed a bit (charmspeaking, I bet). "I know about this tension between you two because that morning Percy was mopping around and dragging his feet on the ground at breakfast, he was glaring at his blue waffles, he didn't speak up and only pouted when Leo made a joke, and then after breakfast he- Um, never mind that, but the point is I can feel all the hurt, and tension, and anger, and confusion, and all the conflicted feelings swarming around you guys whenever there's something going on between you and Percy. I can feel it.
You just admitted you had feelings for him, and there's no reason to be ashamed. Some of the gods were gay or Bi, for crying out loud! Even Apollo took interest in guys, and he's very well known as the perfect male figure among the gods! C'mon, Nico... You can't be ashamed of who you are because of what you were taught to believe when you were younger, or if you just hate the idea of loving another man now.
You can't help who you love. It just happens by itself. You can't force it, you can't bend it, you can't avoid it, and you surely can't stop it: Love is love, and love has a mind of it's own. Instead of fighting it, Nico, why not give it a try? You're only hurting yourself every time you pull away and run, or push Percy away and try to convince yourself that you will just get over it and nothing will bother you afterwards. It's not how love works. So why not actually give it a shot and risk a little to find happiness and maybe even love along the way? Yeah, you're risking yourself to get hurt in the end, but it's better than hurting all the while, right?
Please just talk to him, Nico. Nobody can stand you two being so unhappy and oblivious to each other's feelings. Just grow a pair and speak to the boy!"

I stared at her with a blank expression on my face for a moment, soaking in everything Piper had to say. She looked at with a determined glint in her eyes and a proud smile as she finished her speech. I sighed and laid down on my black silk sheets on my bed, folding my hands behind my head and crossing my legs, getting comfortable as I turned my head back to Piper and offered a small sweet smile. She perked up immediately and stared into my eyes expectantly.

"Piper, I'm not going near him." I said bluntly.

She had a shocked look on her face at my short reply, a look of disappointment in her eyes. She glared at me and hit me on the shoulder. I whined and rubbed at my arm, narrowing my eyes at her as she stuck her tongue out at me, almost fuming and telling me off for not listening to her. I flipped over and groaned into my pillow as she went on and on about how I should just grow a pair of manly parts and work up the nerve to speak up and apologise to the boy I liked as any normal person or demigod would.

Well... If that's so, then deem me not normal.

PERCY POV

"So... You're saying that you might have the slightest bit of an attraction to him? Is that what you're trying to get at?" The choppy haired girl asked slowly with a small hopeful smile.

I groaned and pulled at my hair. "No, I mean... Well... I don't even know what I'm saying anymore, Pipes. I don't even know what to think. All I do know is that I might need a break from this little talking sess pretty soon. These little talks are getting more and more conflicting. I'm totally and utterly pooped."

Piper sighed in defeat and patted me on the shoulder. "Alright, Perce. Just... How about you go have a boys' night out with all of the other guys, yeah? Just to get your mind off of things? It's been two weeks since that little scene happened between the two of you and you're both still pretty wound up. Just go have fun, I'll see if I can speak to Nico again in the meantime, sound good?"

I flinched. When she said Nico's name, a shiver ran up my spine. Maybe it is a good idea if I go out and have fun with my friends tonight. Just tonight. I'm beginning to get weird hallucinations now, and my stomach just won't settle. It's like, every time someone says his name or I catch sight of him for just a second before he disappears again, my stomach almost explodes and my face burns up. Hm... I've come to the conclusion that I might be catching the flu.

"Yeah, yeah. Sure, it sounds like fun." I said reluctantly, but near the end a little more enthusiastically. "But you don't have to go through the trouble in talking to him. He hasn't spoken to anyone in weeks, maybe we should just give him the space he so desperately seems to want."

Piper sighed, rolled her eyes, and began pushing me out the door of her too-pink cabin as if she was trying to get rid of me and at the same time attempting to get me to shut up. Does she know something I don't?

"Yeah, whatever you say, Percy. Have fun. Goodbye!" And I was shoved out into the grass with a stumble.

I turned around as her door shut in my face and regained my balance. Well, at least I got the break I wanted. I sighed and made my way around the busy and slightly chilly Camp Jupiter, listening to Piper's advice about a guys' night out and gathering all of my friends, telling them about the plans. We would be hanging out after training at around 9:00pm until some time after midnight. Snacks would be there, we were to play a few daring games, and have an all around good time. Hopefully it helps me relax for while and distracts me from thoughts.

~

Man, was I wrong.

Me, Frank, Jason and Leo were currently laying in the frosty grass on a small hillside watching as the Stoll brothers ran around a few gift shops in the Roman city below, searching for anything remotely dangerous or magical that would be helpful to them for their next big prank. Well, they were searching until they thought it would be funny to mix Greek fire with Roman fire whilst they were still in the gift shop, leading to a small, and stinky, explosion. In the end, yeah, they got caught. Leo laughed so hard that his soda almost dripped from his nose. I found it hilarious, too, don't get me wrong. But I only found myself laughing halfheartedly.

A couple of hours later, when we ran out of snacks after a short game of Truth, Dare or Harpy Run because most dares consisted of running away from angry harpies as they chased us through camp. That's probably where half of our food went; to the harpies. You know, so that we could live through the night and all. Did you know harpies enjoyed beef jerky just as much as a truck driver did? I mean, who knew?

At the moment, Jason and Frank were out getting more supplies for our little night out. I was laying on my back, looking up at the dark starry sky as Leo laid down beside me, shooting small balls of fire into the sky with his right index finger, smiling whenever it would explode into a puff of sparkling smoke, small specks of fire slowly burning out until he did it again. I sighed, not being able to stop thinking at all during the entire night. This peaceful silence made it even more impossible not to think about what I've been feeling lately. And suddenly, I was sitting up, my arms crossed, a frown on my face, and ranting to the one and only Leo Valdez.

"I can't believe he doesn't even want to be my friend, after all that's happened. Even that night where I thought we would actually get closer and bond because he was upset and all and I was comforting him. He let me comfort him and touch him, he was vulnerable and everything! And then the next morning he's screaming at me to leave and he's saying that I'm just toying with him...
I'm beginning to wonder if he's purposefully hurting an confusing me now. Maybe I should just give up this time. Maybe I shouldn't run after him and try to reason with him that I'm really his friend and that I'm not gonna hurt him. I mean, if he keeps disappearing, maybe I should just give him some space..." I ramble all at once, fading out as I neared the end of my small rant, sighing in defeat.

Leo turned to look at me with wide eyes, sitting up straighter as if he was really interested in what I was saying. "No, c'mon, Percy! Be a man and keep chasing after him! One day, he'll realise what an awesome dude you are, and then maybe he'll tell you whatever it is that made him how he is today!" He said while waving his arms around, his words surprising me. "Keep going after him, bro, don't give up. I know that I used to think he was a creepy guy and all, but I'm sure he's great once you get to know him. It's just like all of those romance movies when the guy chases after the girl. The guy who chases after the girl always ends up with her in the end because he tried, so it must be the same for a guy... that's a friend... Right? Totally the same thing!"

I groaned and covered my face with my hands. "You know what? No. This time I won't even try." I grumbled, flopping back down on my back on the ground as Leo gave me a look of surprise. "I'll give him a taste of his own medicine. I won't go after him. I won't even talk to him; I'll completely ignore him. Maybe it's time I disappeared for a little while. If he wants to be like that, then I will, too."

"Where are you going to go, then? Do you really think that's a good idea, man?" The son of Hephaestus asked cautiously.

I thought for a moment, then sighed in relief as I came up with a perfect solution. "It's almost Christmas, right? In a week or so. I'll just go visit my mom and Paul in Manhattan for the holiday. Piece of blue cake- which is probably what my mom will make when I visit. To be honest, I really do miss her blue foods and goodies. See? I'm homesick, this is the perfect idea!"

"I don't know, dude." Leo said, still unsure, fiddling with a few pieces of metal and a screwdriver he magically pulled out of his tool belt. "I mean, blue cake sounds awesome and all, and seeing your family is great! But do you really think that's a good idea to just leave without fixing this... thing between you and Nico? You've both been acting pretty weird lately and everyone's curious. Well, I am, anyways."

I pursed my lips and patted him on the back. "Relax, man. It's okay. I'll come back after the holiday and we'll see what happens. And we're not acting weird! It was just a little argument- a disagreement -is all..."

Just at that moment, Jason and Frank re-appeared with a bag full of sweets and tricks. I tucked my hands under my head and watched them as they pulled out a small little toy that was shaped sort of like a rocket. Frank took it out of Jason's hand, frowning at the object he couldn't get to work, when it suddenly shot out of his hands in a mix of squealing popping sounds and a trail of purple dust. He yelped and turned into an armadillo, curling up into a ball. Jason burst out into a surprised laugh as I snorted and began snickering at the rocket that twisted and turned in the air, purple dust coating the cowering armadillo as Frank quickly turned into a wolf, snatched the thing between its teeth in midair, then began tearing it to shreds with his jaws.

It all happened within seconds after I replied to Leo, and we were all laughing at at Frank as he turned back to human, a light blush covering his cheeks as he spit out a red rocket wing. I pretended to ignore Leo's curious stare as he didn't take his eyes away from me, but I did catch what he said afterwards.

"What is going on with you two...?" Leo all but whispered under his breath in curiosity and exasperation, shaking his head back and forth but too distracted by the funny sight in front of him to question it further.

I knew he was talking about Nico and I, but I made it seem like I wasn't paying any attention to him what so ever. Just like I wasn't going to pay any attention to Nico until I leave camp for holidays. What a week this will be.

NICO POV

"You're leaving, too?" I groaned as I clenched my jaw shut tight, gritting my teeth together.

"Yeah, for a little bit." Piper sighed with a sympathetic smile. "I'm going to Miami with my dad for a little while after the holiday since he's booked for a tv special on Christmas, but I'll be here until Percy gets back if that's any help?"

Gods, this sucks. This is just my luck. I haven't see Percy at all around camp the past few days as if he's been ignoring me, then today I heard he left camp to visit his mother and stepdad in Manhattan for Christmas, then I find out that as soon as he gets back, when I will need Piper the most (yes, I admit, I do seem to find her pep talks are bit helpful), she's disappearing on me, too. I'll have to handle Percy on my own after he returns from a week of his holiday without being able to consult Piper for advise or whatnot. It's not like I'll be speaking to him or anything, though. But the thing is, he doesn't seem like he wants to speak to me either. And that bothers me somehow. Actually, it bothers me a lot.

"Yeah, just fabulous." I said monotonously.

Can this possibly get any worse? And because of that, I just seemed to have jinxed myself because when you're a closet gay demigod that has personal issues, things can always get a hell of a lot worse. Always. Especially when you're the son of the hell god.

~~~

End of Chapter

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