Please don't murder me. 0.0
(It's 3:20am, btw, so you're welcome for the update. Shmeh. Lol.)

Chapter #14 : If You Love Me

~This is gospel for the fallen ones
Locked away in permanent slumber
Assembling their philosophies
From pieces of broken memories
Oh, this is the beat of my heart, this is the beat of my heart
The gnashing teeth and criminal tongues conspire against the odds
But they haven't seen the best of us yet
If you love me let me go
If you love me let me go
'Cause these words are knives and often leave scars
The fear of falling apart
This is gospel for the vagabonds,
Ne'er-do-wells and insufferable bastards
Confessing their apostasies
Led away by imperfect impostors
Don't try to sleep through the end of the world
And bury me alive
'Cause I won't give up without a fight
If you love me let me go
If you love me let me go
'Cause these words are knives and often leave scars
The fear of falling apart~

PERCY POV

I still can't believe Nico di Angelo gave me a chance to get close to him. I actually feel happy. Maybe even relieved. I asked him if I could be invited to his cabin again, and he suggested I come at midnight (why so late, I don't know, but I didn't feel like questioning him) and I am honestly excited. Even though he might not be at all comfortable with me yet, especially after the little outbursts he has every once in a while, I can't wait to hang out with him and show him that I could be a great friend for him. He's not alone and he needs to know that, so, why not show him by giving him the most fun night of his life? I've got soda, two bags of ruffles, an assortment of different genres of movies (I don't know what he likes yet, but hopefully that'll change), some blankets and pyjamas, some games and sweets, and... Maybe a surprise. Or two.

Wow, sounds like a lot, huh? But it's not! I mean, anyone would do that for a friend, right? It's no big deal, I just want him to be happy. That's all I've wanted for almost a month now.

Something is bothering me, though... It's those little outbursts Nico has. Every time I get a bit too close to him, ask him a touchy question, or say something that might have offended him in a way that I don't understand, he'd freak out. I'd pat him on the back, he'd flinch and step away, mumbling something in Italian under his breath. It hurts me sometimes that he doesn't even let me touch him in a gentle, friendly and reassuring way, but I guess he just needs time. But then there are his panic moments that literally scare the living crap out of me. I'd ask him about Aphrodite's island very casual-like and subtly, but then the blood would drain from his face and his eyes would darken and widen, then he'd glare at me and growl out to stop asking him about it.

It actually scared me when he'd yell at me. When I'd put my arm around him and he'd scoot away from me or even move all the way on the other side of the cabin. Or when I'd ask what he though Annabeth had meant long ago, Nico would send me a death glare (pun intended), scream that he doesn't know and that I should leave him alone and that I should 'Stop asking me that, Jackson! I know as much as you do, so can't you just forget about it?!', and he would sprint back into his cabin and not come out till the next day. I'd be left by myself the rest of the day until I found him the next, then the whole cycle would repeat itself.

At the moment, we already moved out of Camp Half-Blood, the summer camp, to Camp Jupiter, the winter settle-in. I always found this place kind of homey, aside from all of the colosseums and battle grounds and fighting arenas, but when you actually get the time to walk around town... It's beautiful. It's my dream to settle down in this town one day, away from the monsters and gods and titans and demons. Away from being a demigod. It'd be nice to just settle down with that special someone, get a job, have a few kids, spend some time with my family and friends, and maybe just be as normal as I can be. One day. One day for sure.

As I was lost in thought, I forgot I was supposed to be concentrating on the kids in front of me who were learning a few basic sword fighting drills. I was chosen to teach the class while parents went out to buy Christmas gifts for the youngsters. Well, me and Nico. But I was concerned as to why he didn't show up. He was supposed to be here helping me with the kids forty-five minutes ago. I wonder where he was? Is he okay? What happened? Does he need help? Is he outside of Camp Jupiter? Where is he? Ugh, I can't help but worry and envision the worst case scenarios. I decided I'd still visit his cabin tonight and see what was going on with him.

I sighed as I scooped up a bawling little boy that tripped over another child's red shoe and scraped his knee. His brown hair was disheveled and his blue eyes were full of tears as he kept sobbing into my shoulder. I wondered if I was ever like this. Six years old and oblivious to everything. A curious little soul. As I soothed the little boy and took care of his bleeding knee with a Band-Aid, I went back to helping the little group of boys and girls. Yet I still had my thoughts wander as my worries of a certain mysterious boy took over my mind.

Where was he?

NICO POV

"Bianca, I know something is wrong. Please, tell me. You've been keeping it from me for weeks now." I pleaded. "I need to know what's wrong. Please."

The dark cave around us suddenly felt a bit colder as I saw the expression of my sister's face suddenly drop as she sighed in defeat. I knew something was wrong. And this just proves it. I began to panic as a million possibilities flooded my mind. I scrambled to my feet and approached her with a frown on my face. She wasn't meeting my eyes. Her ghost seemed to flickered slightly as I got closer, but she didn't seem to notice. My heart beat picked up as she didn't turn back to face me.

"What's wrong, Bianca?" I asked warily. "What happened?"

She sighed and finally faced me, a cool breeze hitting my body as her silver dress fanned out around her. Her light brown eyes seemed saddened all of a sudden. I was really beginning to worry. No, no, no. Something is definitely wrong. Something is about to happen. I can feel it. And I hate the looks of it. Bianca's pale, shimmering hand reached out and stroked my cheek. She hasn't done that since I was small... She only did that to comfort me when I was upset. She only did that when she was going to tell me bad news. I took a step back and looked at her with confusion. She looked a bit hurt and her eyes shown with sadness, but I didn't see a trace of regret in her eyes. I'm not going to like what she's about to say.

"Nico, little brother." She said softly, as if she spoke any louder I'd break. "You're so strong. You seem to always ignore the fact that you're a hero, a strong and brave hero in fact, and always look at your weaknesses. But Nico... You have been through so much. You have been through Tartarus and back all by yourself. You've slain monsters and beast and demons and spirits and minor gods; all by yourself. You're strong. You've been on so many adventures. All of those adventures; without me. I'm so sorry, little brother, that I couldn't be there for you and look after you like I should have. But you're independent. And you do it well.

You're not alone, though, Nico. You never were, right from the start. Even when you don't visit me, I am constantly watching over you. I'm always there, protecting you, even if you don't feel me there. I've watched you grow older and I'm happy that you have that opportunity to do so. I'm happy you get to live, and grow older, and feel things even if they hurt. You get to breathe, and fight, and smile, and love...

Something that I have been longing so much to have once again. Ever since I've watched you fall for... Percy... Even though it was hard to accept and your choice was, well, interesting to say the least; I couldn't help but notice how much I've missed living. How much I long to feel again. How much I want to be able to love again."

The whole time I've been watching her with a blank expression, feeling I know where she is going with this. My eyes were burning and it felt like my lungs were on fire. My throat was sandpaper. I could hardly breathe. My bottom lip began quivering as I stared into her brown eyes. How could she smile at me when she knows what she's doing? How could she? How could she look happy with what she was about to do? About what she was about to do to herself? To me? How could she?! I felt much more than a dull pain in my chest. It felt like a dagger ripping through to my heart.

"B-Bianca..." I stuttered weakly, but cleared my throat, trying to be a bit stronger than I felt. "What are you talking about? W-what do you mean?"

She walked slowly over to a rock and sat down, looking back up at me. "I know I wasn't there for you when I should have been. I should have thought of you before I ran away from the others, ignoring their warning calls, and gotten myself into danger in the first place. I wish I could always be there for you, I really do. But you can't keep visiting me in the Underworld, relying on your shadow traveling and risking your life to talk to your deceased sister. You have to let me go one day or another, but you're only delaying the on growing pain of what you will lose eventually. It'll only be worse the longer you wait. And you just can't keep doing this anymore, Nico.

You have to let me go."

"Bianca." I said sternly, almost a warning. "I'm not a child anymore! But you are still my sister that left me too soon. I have a reason. I have a power that I will not let go to waste if I can see you just a few more times-"

"Nico, I'm choosing to be reborn."

With that simple phrase, the remaining air was knocked out of my lungs. The cave around us seemed so much colder and dark. A shiver ran up my spin and I couldn't help but let a small puff of air escape my lips as if I was punched in the gut. No, no, no. She can't mean that. She can't leave me. Not again. She's all I've got left. My sister wants to leave me again. I-I can't believe it. This isn't happening. This feels just as bad as the day Percy came back to Camp Half-Blood and announced that Bianca had died in battle. And here she is, leaving me again, and this time I have no way of seeing her again. I-I have no one. She can't leave me! I'll feel even more alone than I was before!

"You can't keep seeing me anymore, little brother." She continued as I repeatedly shook my head. "This is gonna be your last visit. Il mio forte soldato... I'm sorry."

I let a chocked sob escape my throat as tears threatened to slip out of the corners of my eyes. She smiled sadly and stood up gracefully, walking slowly towards me. She touched my cheek to try and calm me, but I pushed her away and glared at her.

"I-I can't believe you're leaving me!" I said between sniffles. "Why would y-you leave? I'm a-all alone, Bianca! Can't you see? I h-have no one!"

She approached me once again as I slowly dropped to my knees. Her hand touched my shoulder gently. The touch was cold and feathery, almost more like a wind on my shoulder than a hand, a sign that she wasn't living. It pained me that maybe she was right. She should have another chance at life. If Hades had offered her a new life, why not take it? She deserves to live again. I just don't know what I'd do without her. She's the one I told everything to. She's the one that understands me. She's the one that stuck with me and accepted me even after we were brought up learning that what I am is a disgrace. She still thought of me as family. The least I could do is let her go.

I whimpered. "Please don't leave me."

Bianca wrapped her arm around her shoulder and comforted me.

"Shh, Nico. You'll be okay. You always were." She whispered, trying not to upset me further. "You're strong. You're independent. You can live your life like you normally do, just without me to guide you."

I continued crying into her shoulder, even though I knew our time left together was ticking away. I just couldn't help but feel the hole in my heart reopen. It just hurts so much. My mother was killed, my sister died in battle trying to protect me and her friends, my father is the god of death and happens to like favouritism but never has time for his children, my family is long gone, I have no friends and now I'm left with no one. Before, I was lucky enough to be able to visit Bianca again and speak with her occasionally. But now I can't. And it just tears me apart inside. I might have Jason to speak to sometimes, but I still don't tell him everything. I can't talk to him the way I can to Bianca. And Percy... I just... I can hardly be near him without freaking out, thinking that I'll break in front of him.

I sucked in a shaky breath as the tears continued leaving tracks down my face. I haven't cried like this in five years. But I've never hurt this bad. Everything is just falling down around me. I felt Bianca begin to feel colder and turned to look at her with blurry eyes. Her body flickered and she gave me an apologetic smile. It didn't reach her eyes, though. She knows that I know what's happening. Our time is nearly over.

But there is one more thing I want before she leaves me for good.

"Please..." I croaked. "C-Can you p-please sing the lullaby one more t-time?"

She whispered sadly to me. "Of course I will, little brother."

She stroked my hair and pulled me into her lap, holding me tightly with her arms as she cradled me close. I couldn't help but choke on my tears a few times as I realised this is the last time we'll have this kind of moment. This is the last time I'll see her. This is the last moment I have to spend with her.

"Close your eyes; I know what you see

The darkness is high, and you're in ten feet deep

But we've survived more terrible monsters than sleep

And you know I will be here to tell you to breathe."

She began singing softly to me, stroking my hair in an attempt to calm me down as she continued to sing her lullaby to me.

"You're my little soldier

The reason I live

Don't forget me

I'm watching over you

Stumbling lost; the last choice of all that you meet

It's the cost of ruling those 'neath your feet

Paths you've crossed, and trust you're trying to keep

You're exhausted, listening for a voice that can't speak

Ma Nico, mio caro."

I began calming down as her voice carried around the cave, my sniffles mixing with her soft, sad voice.

"You're my little soldier

The reason I lived

Don't forget me

I'm watching over you

So you run; through shadows you roam

Seams undone by the love you thought you could own

But he's just one of many that you might call home

And maybe someday, the bitter will fade from your bones."

She hugged me closer to her as she began to flicker in and out of focus, trying to finish the lullaby she used to sing to me every night when we were little and mum was away. Whenever I had a nightmare, she would tuck me back into to bed like a mother would do and sing to me to calm me down. She rocked me back and forth as the tears never seemed to stop spilling over my cheeks, warm and never yielding.

"You were my little soldier

Now, a dark prince

But even for you, there is a light

That leads you to another life"

I whimpered softly while she hugged me as tightly as she could the moment she stopped singing. I could feel her leaving me already. Another cry escaped my lips as she pulled away, kissing my forehead in the process and stepped back. I reached out for her, calling her name, but she shook her head sadly. A mist was beginning to swirl around her ankles, enveloping her into a milky whirlpool.

"I have to go, Nico." She whispered. "Maybe one day we will run into each other in my new life. But until then, take care of yourself. You're strong, but you don't have to be alone to feel strong. Please remember that, Nico. Try."

I scrambled to my feet and tried to catch up with her but she was already disappearing. I was crying freely, now. This is real. This is all real. She's leaving me. She's never coming back. Bianca, my only family, is never coming back to me.

"I love you, Nico. Stop running."

With that, she was gone.

PERCY POV

I hadn't seen him all day and I was getting a bit angsty. Nico has been flooding my mind all day and I have to say that it bothered me for some reason, but I just couldn't stop. Everywhere I turned, he just seemed to pop up in my mind, right then and there. I couldn't stop wondering about him.

Which is why I decided to screw his timing, I was coming over early. Two hours early, to be exact. As I was speed walking to his cabin, I couldn't help but wonder where he was today... Again. And also that I couldn't wait to see him. I wonder if he was just out with Jason or something. I haven't seen him today either, so maybe that's it. Although, for some reason... I'd rather he not be hanging out with Jason...? A burning feeling in my stomach appeared as I thought of them sword fighting together and joking around, laughing at stupid jokes and smiling- And I'm here.

I skipped up his dark steps to the Hades bungalow, taking two at a time, and made it to his door in record time. I raised my fist to knock with a grin on my face. I probably knocked about once and then the door flew open. I was surprised when I was pulled in and heard the door shut behind me. What is going on?

"Nico-" I gasped.

I stumbled backwards a bit out of shock as a strong force hit me in the chest. Once my balance was back, I still felt a pressure around my waist. I frowned and looked down in confusion. I gasped once again at the sight before me, in total and utter shock at what I was witnessing. Nico had his arms wrapped firmly around my torso, his fingers fisting my shirt, his face buried in my chest, as he clung to me like his life depended on it. Just a moment later, I realised he was shaking and small sounds were coming from him, muffled by my shirt. It took me a while to realise that Nico di Angelo was crying into my chest.

~~~

End of Chapter

What do you think??? Was it sad? :'(
I know you guys are waiting SO patiently for some real Percico action and I can gladly tell you now that starting with the next chapter... PERCICO, PERCICO, and more PERCICO!!!
I hope it makes up for the lack of Percy and Nico moments and this sad chapter, but remember that everything that happens in the previous chapters are there for a reason! If there are any questions, ask away!
Love you all, thanks for reading, voting, fanning (woohoo!) and commenting! <3<3<3
~Curly

-Undead Bianca