This song is very important for the chapter, so I suggest you read the lyrics all the way through, or even listen to it once I've got the video up on the side (that is, if you haven't heard the song before, which means click that youtube link!) I personally love this song (Boobear, too, as a matter of fact) and it's quite perfect for the story right now! :)
ENJOY!

*may the feels be broken beyond this point*

Chapter #12: Is That So Wrong?

PERCY POV

~My hands,
Your hands
Tied up
Like two ships.
Drifting
Weightless.
Waves try to break it.
I'd do anything to save it.
Why is it so hard to say it?
My heart,
Your heart
Sit tight like book ends.
Pages
Between us
Written with no end.
So many words we're not saying.
Don't wanna wait 'til it's gone.
You make me strong.
I'm sorry if I say, "I need you."
But I don't care,
I'm not scared of love.
'Cause when I'm not with you I'm weaker.
Is that so wrong?
Is it so wrong
That you make me strong?
Think of
How much
Love that's been wasted.
People
Always
Trying to escape it.
Move on to stop their heart breaking.
But there's nothing I'm running from.
You make me strong.
So, baby, hold on to my heart
Need you to keep me from falling apart.
I'll always hold on.
'Cause you make me strong.
I'm sorry if I say, "I need you."
But I don't care,
I'm not scared of love.
'Cause when I'm not with you I'm weaker.
Is that so wrong?
Is it so wrong
That you make me strong?~

I feel like shist.

My head kills from over thinking, my shoulders ache from being so tensed (I blame my 24/7 thoughts and emotional stress), my body's sore from being beaten up during Capture the Flag (because I was over thinking and got distracted), and my eyes burn from crying so much (... because I'm so damn sad).

I groaned and buried my face further into my pillow. Everything hurts. But the one thing that stands out more is the pain in my chest. It feels like a shadow made of darkness is slowly clawing up my heart and sprinkling salt in the open wounds, just to watch me suffer and writhe in pain. Then start all over again. Seems extreme, doesn't it? Well stop judging me, I'm hurting right now! Ugh... I guess this is what a broken heart feels like? Because it sure does suck.

I groaned into the pillow as I felt more tears begin to well up in my eyes. You know what the worst part is? I'm so confused. I'm so beyond hurt, that I've reached the point of confusion and emptiness. And then it just got worse when Leo, Frank and Jason finally convinced me to get out of my cabin a couple days after... y'know... the 'incident', so that I could man up and stay strong about it. Just move on, because life won't stop to wait for your little heart to fix itself. So I obeyed my orders like a good boy and joined the guys in a game of Capture the Flag, just to distract my mind. So I went along, knowing it still won't change how I feel, but it would be something fun to get my mind of things even for a little while. I planned to actually have a fun guys' night out with my friends... But then I ran into Annabeth.

Gods... She looked absolutely okay. Better than okay, standing there next to a tall oak tree in battle armour, rambling on about the game and other mindless chatter with her teammates. She might have looked a wee tired, but she looked happy. She looked happy while I was there trying to hold back my tears! How could she just move on that fast after the years we spent together? I'm a sensitive guy, I admit. I have feelings that get hurt and everyone who's ever met me knows that I'm not ashamed to show it. But there comes a point where I just want to crawl away and hide in a dark closet for refuge and never come out and-

I squeezed my eyes shut tighter as I furiously wiped at my tear streaked face.

And there it is. The other problem. The big problem that leaves me tearing my hair out in frustration. What happened that day... It wasn't just me and Annabeth standing there. No, there was a witness. A witness that somehow got pulled into our breakup argument. He didn't belong in our argument, but somehow he got pulled in. I can't stop thinking about what Annabeth said... I-I just don't know what to think. The break up, my fuzzy head, Aphrodite's island, my feelings, research and... Nico. Why does he always seem to pop up in everything nowadays?

I pulled at my black hair, whimpering slightly.

I haven't even seen him since he got pulled away by a few Aphrodite girls who were screaming their heads off. I would have helped the guy out if I wasn't frozen to the spot as I took in what was happening at that time. But Nico just always seems to disappear whenever something a bit overwhelming happens. Whenever things get a bit rough, or you can actually see the smallest flicker of emotion... When his walls begin to falter and break; he disappears. He disappears for gods know how long and where. Why does he always run away? Why doesn't he stay and find out what would happen if he were here? Why doesn't he care enough to help a friend after a heartbreak? Why is he such a coward?!

That last question slipped into my mind by mistake and I sucked in a sharp breath, just now realising I balled up my fists so tight my knuckles were turned white. I grabbed the first thing I could find (which, fortunately, was my pillow) and threw it at my wall. Why was I so angry? Is it the pain speaking? The frustration? The... Curiosity?

I hate feeling like this. I'm usually always in a good mood. I need some fresh air.

I scooped up my hoodie, slipping it over my head as quick as lightning, and dashed out of my cabin. I need something to help me lessen the pain. I passed by the other cabins with their lights out, the sky a twinkling array of stars and twilight, while a gentle night breeze fanned across my face. Why is it twilight? It's... almost 5:00am? Stupid camp borders and their weird weather. I huffed and stuffed my hands in my pockets as I grumpily made my way to a small pond covered in lily-pads. I sat under the big oak and just stared. I bet I looked like a ghost. Dark sleep deprived rings under my eyes, the night reflecting off my tan skin, my eyes glazed over, motionless and expressionless...

... Nico. My thoughts led back to the supposed emotionless ghost boy. I can't help but think I saw something flicker in his eyes when Annabeth (*flinch*) told us about her... interesting... research. About how you can only have that telekinetic connection to read each other's minds with the person you... Loved. The closest thing to love I've ever felt was with Annabeth, so what was she talking about? For once, I think whatever came out of her mouth was complete bologna. I don't get it. Me and Nico don't 'love' each other. We could barely be classified as friends, for crying out loud! But I still don't get the look he gave me... Shock? Confusion? Embarrassment? Disbelief?... Fear? Desperation, even?

"Pull yourself together, Jackson." I whispered harshly to myself. "Cry yourself a river, build a bridge, and get over it! It's just a breakup, it's just some weird thoughts, it's just something she must have made up in spite. Yeah, spur of the moment... Must be."

I let a dragged out breath escape my lips. I could at least use some comfort. I need someone now. This is my first breakup and as you can see, there are some added complications. I just need a friend.

Just as I stood up and began to turn back towards camp, I heard a voice behind me.

"Percy?"

I whipped around, expecting someone else other than the blond haired son of Jupiter. My shoulders sagged and I mentally scolded myself. Why was I expecting someone else? Who was I expecting? Why did I want him to be here instead of Jason? Don't be a fool. You know exactly who you wanted to be here to comfort you right now.

... But why?

"Jason." I greeted quickly to escape my thoughts. "What are you doing up so early?"

He looked as if he were caught doing something wrong, then his expression turned to concern and suspicion as his eyebrows were pulled together. "I could ask you the same thing. Are you alright, man?"

I sighed and let my head fall forward in defeat. "Just thinking. Needed some air, y'know?... No pun intended, because you're the son of Jupiter and all..."

He raised his eyebrow, amusement flashed in his eyes. "Right..."

I cleared my throat awkwardly. "So, you still didn't answer me. What brings you to the forest's border so early in the day, Sparky?"

He narrowed his eye at the nickname. "I was just... Planning on meeting someone here."

"Doing something illegal, I see?" I teased.

"Don't be daft, Jackson." He rolled his eyes but still let a smile appear on his face.

I raised my eyebrows, ready to mock him. "'Daft'? Who the hell says 'daft' these days?"

"I see you're still in a good enough mood to make fun of everything I say..." Jason shook his head as he chuckled.

I smirked and ruffled his spiky hair. "I'm always in the mood to make fun of everything you say, Sparky."

He shook his head at me and and fixed his hair. "Don't call me that, Jack-"

"Jason, I don't think I can take this any long-"

I whipped my head around and felt my heart falter.

"Oh, hey, Perce!" Leo greeted with a big grin. "I didn't know Percy was tagging along, Zap-zilla. Could've just said so. The more the merrier, am I right? Don't answer that, of course I'm right! Bad boys are never wrong. Well, you know, unless they're the stupid kind on tv that think the lower their pants sag the better, but I'm not! Nope. I'm Leo Valdez. The Bad Boy Supreme! The Super-sized McShizzle! TEAM LEO-"

"Dude. Please. Shut up."

"Hey, you know it's true. I mean, just look at me!"

"And what am I looking at?"

"Hey! You, sir, are looking at the ladies' man!"

"Hm... I don't think so, Valdez. Still can't get over Calypso's interest in you."

"Dude! C'mon! I'm irresistible. It was only a matter of time before my Calypso baby fell for all this."

"Can we just get back to why we're here, Napoleon?"

"... Because I'm irresistible and you just can't stay away."

"LEO!"

While the two guys in front of me were bantering back and forth, I was trying to figure out why my heart dropped when it was Leo who showed up. First the disappointment of Jason, and now Leo? Why don't I welcome their company and familiar banter? Because you would rather be standing beside someone else.

Ugh, stupid inner voice.

I sighed. Maybe I'm just missing the feeling of having Annabeth by my side. Even though things were tense and awkward, I always liked the old memories that flooded my mind when I was near her. Whenever I saw her smile, I thought back to when we were younger and happier. When we went on walks in the strawberry fields and played Capture the Flag together, or sparring and trying to best each other's records on how many harpies we could confuse in the matter of minutes. Or when I snuck food in my cabin and we would sit outside and watch the stars and just mess around. Even the million inside jokes we share.

But then I realised... I could do all of that with my friends, minus the romantic stuff, and I'm sure I'd have just as much fun. Didn't I do that with Grover, my best satyr friend, years ago, too? Annabeth and I... We just wanted an excuse to love somebody in our messed up lives. We're best friends... I guess the breakup was bound to happen sooner or later. Doesn't mean it hurts any less, but now I know I have to move on. We just lost the spark and separating seemed like it was the best way to go. I have to let it go. But her harsh words will always be stuck in my head.

~

"No. No. No. NO. NO. NO!"

"Jackson, just get up!"

"No, I don't want to! You can't make me, Blondie!" I screamed as I held onto my mattress and bed sheets as if my life depended on it.

I heard a loud, over exaggerated sigh come from behind me. "Percy... C'mon. I'm sure everyone has moved on from the gossip and found something else to talk about. Just c'mon, man... Get up out of bed and get on with the day."

I groaned. Another Jason lecture. I mean, he's an awesome guy and nothing short of a great friend, but couldn't he see I didn't want to go back out? People were whispering about the breakup (even though it's been a couple days and there are things far more interesting than a failed relationship at a camp for demigods), staring at me, throwing out a suggestive comment here and there and some people were even flirting with me or asking me out! When I try to go to the lake in my swim trunks, it's like I have no privacy as a trail of girls start to follow me. It's ridiculous when I go to the Training Arena and my partner goes soft on me out of pity or just to make me 'happy', while a crowd forms to watch and stare at me fighting some other kid. It's weird and just... annoying!

"Jason. I really don't want to today." I said honestly while I flipped onto my back.

He rolled his eyes and sat on the side of my bed. "Then at least talk to someone about it. So spill."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "You know why I'm grumpy. Why do I have to recount it again?"

"Because you didn't say what's really bothering you. You state the obvious, saying it's the breakup (sorry), but you don't tell anyone what happened in between everything. There's something else bothering you that happened that day. What is it?" Jason said seriously, a flicker of comprehension in his eyes.

My mouth hung open. How could he possibly know that? Am I that easy to read? To say I'm surprised is a bit of an understatement.

"Before you jump to conclusions," He said with raised eyebrows, "I've had loads of practice reading people, so don't think I'm a stalker or something."

I gave him a questioning look.

"Nico." He simply stated.

I tensed at the name and Jason noticed, his eyebrows shooting up to his hairline as his eyes shone in curiosity. I cleared my throat and shuffled awkwardly into a sitting position against my headboard.

I narrowed my eyes at the son of Jupiter cautiously. "Speaking of, um, Nico... Have you... Seen him around lately?"

Jason just shrugged. "Why?"

"I think I need to talk to him, is all." I said, avoiding his gaze. "So have you seen him lately? I can't find him anywhere in camp again."

"Yeah, I've seen him just earlier today. A few hours ago, actually."

My eyes widened at his statement. Jason saw Nico a few hours ago? Today? Why didn't he tell me? I wonder why Nico didn't come see me. Is he avoiding me? I just realised how badly I need to talk to the guy. He must know something that could help me. Or at least, he could tell me where he's been going all of the time lately. I admit. I worry. Is that so wrong? I think it's normal. But I mean, c'mon. I sort of need to hear something comforting come from his mouth. I don't know why, but I think that only Nico could comfort me right now. Maybe because he was there so he's understand better. Yeah. Or maybe he'd be just as confused as me and it would be awkward? Maybe he's avoiding me because he's embarrassed of what was said... I can't believe it. He's being a coward.

"Who's being a coward?"

I jumped and turned towards the speaker. I totally forgot Jason was still here. I guess I was speaking aloud. Oops.

"Oh, um... Nobody?" I replied with a sheepish smile, my answer sounding more like a question.

He gave me a firm expression. "You're thinking about Nico, aren't you? He has something to do with what's bothering you."

Once again, my eyes widened. Just as I was about to speak, Jason's expression hardened and his eyes shone with sincerity and protectiveness. It surprised me by how much emotion shone in his electric blue eyes.

"Nico is not a coward, Percy. He's anything but. He's been through so much in the past years that... He just shuts himself away from everyone. Living and dead. That's why I've had a lot of practice reading people. Cause let me tell you; Nico is a hard book to read. He's just hurting, Percy." He said with a gentle voice. "He told me, only vaguely, of what happened that day outside of the Arena. Then he completely shut me off and disappeared again. And again. And again. He comes back to camp only to save up some energy so he can shadow travel some more. Where? 'M not sure. He's scared, but... He never told me what Annabeth said about the research she supposedly did. Meanwhile, I'm trying my best to get di Angelo to even stay in camp. He's stubborn. So I'm guessing that's why he hasn't come to you yet. He just has certain... problems... to face, first. He doesn't think he belongs at camp."

My frown only got deeper. "What? Wait, wait, wait... I'll tell you, okay? Just... You're close to Nico, right?"

He hesitated, then nodded his head.

"Promise you won't say anything to him or anyone else if I tell you what happened?" I said warily as I began to twiddle my thumbs.

"I promise." He sighed defeatedly.

I gulped. Why am I nervous? I'm just going to tell him what happened. But... Saying it out loud will only make me realise how real this really is. Oh well... Here goes nothing.

~

Jason's eyebrows touched his hairline, his expression none other than shocked and thoughtful. Just as he was about to speak again, I lifted a finger for him to stop.

"I didn't even get to the most intense part, yet." I warned. "She said, and I quote: You only had that connection with the person you loved."

This time, Jason's jaw dropped. He didn't say a word, but the corners of his mouth twitched slightly upward. I gave him a confused glance but he immediately composed himself. I shook it off. Then more thoughts flooded my mind.

It seemed that when I opened my mouth, I didn't know how to stop what came out. "I mean, I just don't get what love has to do with me and Nico being able to read each other's minds on the island. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the guy, but I don't feel for him. I was in a relationship with a girl at the time, too, so how could I possibly miss that I was in love with a guy? Because I wasn't. And I'm not.

So I don't get it, Jason, I just don't... I do think Nico is a nice guy, though. Lately, I've been feeling like we're getting closer, and I like it. I love making him smile... Especially because it's so rare to see him smile or laugh, y'know? And I feel like I'm stronger around him. Like I have to be strong for the both of us. I know it sounds a bit protective, but even though I know he can take care of himself... I know he needs someone, too. And I'd gladly be that someone, anytime. I also feel a bit drawn to him. I guess it's the exact opposite of what the Son of Death's vibe is supposed to give me, but I can't help but feel like I want to be close to him whenever I see him, or whenever he smiles, or laughs, or blushes or even opens up a bit... I just want to hug him. Possessive or weird? I don't care. I say it with all my manhood, I swear!

I can see in his eyes that he's broken, too. Simple as that. And you confirmed that to me earlier. So I just want to give a hug and comfort him, tell him it's okay. Even though I feel like I really need that exact thing right now. I am angry that he didn't even come up to me after the breakup... He didn't even say a single word to me. He was there when it happened, so I think that's why it would make me feel a bit better if he told me it's going to be okay. But he didn't. Whenever I need someone, he just disappears! And yeah, it hurts, but that's normal. Right? Yet I can't help but not hate him at all!"

I finally stopped speaking, clamping my mouth shut and covering it with both hands. I could've kept going on with my rant, but the son of Jupiter's expression is what shut me up. His eyes were bugging out of his head, his mouth was hanging open but he was grinning like a fool. His eyes glinted in amusement and he looked like he was holding something back. A laugh, maybe.

"Oh. My. Gods." I groaned and covered my face with my hands. "I can't believe this... I can't... Holy Hera... I didn't just say that- Nope."

Then I heard Jason's uncontrolled giggle. Since when did this guy giggle? It's horrifying! I'm so used to his hard and serious leader face whenever he's around other campers, that this is just too out of character. So out of character that it's uncomfortable. This is just too weird. He's laughing at me. This is just humiliating! My face twisted into a grimace and I shot up onto my feet. Jason noticed and stopped laughing.

"Jackson?" He asked seriously this time.

I rolled my eyes and whined. "What do you want?"

"Have ever considered that you might be in the slightest way attracted to Nico?" His voice was nothing but sincere and curious.

I couldn't help but feel something cold climb up my spine when Grace said his name. What the hell is going on? I rolled my eyes at the blond Superman and just turned on my heels, walking away from the guy without giving him an answer. I can't believe I said those things, though... I never thought I'd even think of anything like that. I must have missed him, then. Maybe it's just because he disappears too frequently and now it's just dawning on me and making me nostalgic. Sounds legit.

In the meantime, I still feel like crap, which is the reason of me heading back to my cabin at the sound of the breakfast horn and flopping face first onto my bed. A sudden wave of anger hit me. Why isn't Nico trying to help me? If he were a real friend, if he actually cared somewhat for me, then he'd be here right now, coaxing me to get up and eat something. He definitely must know I'm hurting. He saw what happened. It's obvious the words Annabeth said had an effect on me, so-

Ugh, my head. Stop thinking.

I gave one last angry sigh and fell back to sleep with a frown on my face.

Stupid feelings...

~~~

End of Chapter

If you want to murder me now, just wait until the next chapter. This is the calm before the storm, believe me or not.
*foreshadow, foreshadow*
Keep reading and voting and spreading this story! You guys make me as happy as a happy cupcake!
Lots of love,
~Curly xx

-Frustrated Percy