Jungkook

    "I'm fine, hyung. It's not that bad here."

    "Jungkook-ah, it's been three months. I'm worried about you!"

I sigh as I take my usual seat at a cafe here in Busan. "I'm fine. I am."

    "You should come to Seoul soon, or I'll come to you." Hoseok says on the other line. "I'm worried about you."

    "Don't worry." I say, looking at the window and watching people pass by on the busy sidewalk. "I didn't call to hear you worry."

    "How's your mother then?" He asks change the subject.

    "She's alright." I say, trying to make my voice nod sound so monotoned. "I'm not staying with her anymore though."

    "Did you find your own place?" Hoseok asks. "Is it nice? Where is it?"

    "Yeah. It's alright, I guess." I say. "I was just calling you back. I have to go."

    "Oh, okay." He says, obviously not ready to end the short phone call.

    "I'll call you again tomorrow if you aren't busy." I say trying to make him feel better. "Or I'll text you later. I just have to go right now."

    "Okay, I'll talk to you soon then." He chuckles softly. "Take care of yourself and call whenever you need me."

    "Yeah." I say before ending the call and locking my phone.

After going and ordering my usual I retake my seat by the window, watching the world move around me.

Even after three months it feels like I'm still suffocating, like I'll never be able to breathe on my own again.

Even moving back home with my parents for a little while wasn't helping.

Being was worse, even though I'm working and keeping busy I still have too much time to think, too much time to hate myself.

I put myself in the position to be hurt and I deserve to live with this, I deserve to be this hurt.

I should've never fallen in love with him, I should've never let things go as far as they did, it was my fault.

I tear slips down my face, making me realize that I was crying, again.

So pathetic, actually trying to feel sorry for myself.

I wipe my eyes, sighing as I swallow my tears, I shouldn't be crying when his was my fault.

    "Excuse me?" Someone says, stopping by my table.

I look up at the voice and find a guy dressed in a grey suit, he smiles kindly. "Yes?"

    "Um, I know this might sound kind of crazy, so I apologize in advance." He chuckles before continuing. "I come here around this time everyday and I couldn't help but notice you here sometimes. You always sit here by yourself and I was just wondering why someone as pretty as you always sits here alone looking so sad."

I'm taken aback by his words, not exactly sure how I should respond.

    "I'm sorry." He chuckles. "Can I sit?"

    "Y-Yes, sure." I say, not wanting to be rude, he was being unnecessarily polite.

He sits down across from me. "I'm Namjoon, by the way."

He holds his hand out to me and I take it. "Jungkook."

    "Jungkook, it's nice to finally speak to you." He says with a dimpled smile. "I hope you aren't creeped out by me."

    "No, no. I'm sorry. It's just, no one's ever approached me this way before." I say, trying to animate my voice. "Do you stalk me often?"

Namjoon laughs, his eyes crescent shaped. "No, only Mondays through Fridays."

I try to smile a little, looking down at my abandoned drink that was now growing cold.

    "So, Jungkook. Why are your pretty eyes always so sad?" He asks, his smile fading to a concerned expression.

I shake my head looking up at him. "Don't, call me pretty I mean. I'm not."

    "You are, but if you'd rather be called handsome then you are. You're beautiful." He says, a small smile on his lips as he sips his iced coffee.

    "...What do you want?" I ask after a moment.

    "What do I want?" He repeats. "I want to get to know you better."

    "Why?" I ask, not trusting this unnecessarily kind stranger.

    "Because, life is short and I wanted to waste a little bit of it on you." He winks. "People often let life's gifts pass them by and, I don't know, maybe you're a gift in disguise."

    "You don't even know me." I say, still not trusting him.

    "Exactly. And I'll never get to know you by watching you from across the room, will I?" He asks, same stupid smile on his face.

I roll my eyes a little. "Whatever it is you want~"

    "I already told you what I wanted." He chuckles. "Am I speaking in code?"

    "Once you got to know me I don't think you'd stick around. So why don't you just go ahead and leave." I say, looking down at my drink.

    "That's not true." He says. "I'd stick around as long as you'd let me."

    "How many guys have you pulled this crap on so far, Namjoon?" I ask him, looking up and waiting for a response.

    "Just one. You." He says, still smiling softly.

    "Do you want to know why I'm upset?" I ask, hoping to get him to leave me alone by telling him the truth.  

    "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." He says genuinely. "But I'll listen if you do."

    "My boyfriend left me." I start. "He left me for his fiancé."  

    "Oh, he was living a double life?" He asks, sympathy laced through his voice.

    "Yes. But I as the double life." I say. "Even though I knew he was engaged."

    "Oh..." he says, trailing off as he processes the other information.

    "I'm not one of life's gifts, sorry for disappointing you." I say, refocusing my gaze outside.

Namjoon chuckles. "I guess that was meant to scare me off."

    "You guessed it." I say without looking at him.

    "Jungkook." He says, I look over at him despite wanting him to go away. "I'll leave if you want me to, but not because of your past. Everyone has a past and who am I to judge you for your's?"

I look at him wordlessly, still trying to figure him out. "You met me five minutes ago, why are you acting like this?"

    "Because, I like you, Jungkook." He smiles.

    "Why?"

    "Because, you seem sweet." He says. "And I can never take my eyes off of you when I see you. You're the prettiest guy I've ever seen."

I sigh, this guy seriously wasn't letting up.

    "Let me take you out. One date, that's all I ask. And if you never want to speak to me again afterwards I will leave you alone. Promise." He says with a dimples smile.

    "And you'll stop watching me?" I ask.

    "And I'll stop watching you. Promise." He chuckles, holding his pinky out to me.

    "Fine." I say, linking my pinky with his, a smile undeniably tugging at the corners of my mouth.

    "Here." He says pulling his hand away and pulling a pen out of his suit jacket. "I'll give you my number."

He writes his number down on one of the napkins from the cafe before handing it to me.

    "Text me whether or not you want me to pick you up and I'll give you a time. Okay?" He asks.

    "Alright." I say folding the napkin.

    "I'll go then." He says standing with his drink in his hand. "Don't forget to text me."

    "I won't." I say, offering a small smile.

    "Bye." He smiles before turning and leaving me alone at my table.

I sigh as I watch him leave, I don't know what he sees in me but his compliments did make me feel better.

But I don't think I'm ready to start dating, even after months of crying over something I couldn't change I still wasn't ready.

It still hurt, to think that after years of loving him we'd never be together.

Despite not being ready, I promised Namjoon one date, and I'd at least go through with that.

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