Jimin

10/12/19

It's the day before my birthday.

The day before the big party that everyone seems to be looking forward to.

Taehyung hasn't been home the past week due to some business he had to take care of out of town.

He said he'd be back before the party but I find myself not caring if he is or not.

Yoongi called and said he couldn't make because he's sick and Taemin called and said he couldn't make it either.

So the only two people that I actually wanted to come can't, but that's okay, there's at least two hundred other people coming in their place.

The theme is red and black, I don't particularly like either one of those colors but I guess someone else did.

The media is talking about the party a lot, so many people eager for more pictures of Taehyung and I together.

It's nice that everyone is so enthusiastic about our relationship, at least someone is.

I'm sorry if I'm being negative today, I don't feel well and the last thing I want to think about is attending a party to celebrate me.

Sorry to go so soon, I'll try to keep up on my writing.

It's hard to write when I'm upset even though it always makes me feel better.

Thanks for listening.

10/12/19               5:22am.

—

Jungkook

It's nice waking up with Taehyung in my arms in the morning, the feeling of holding him through the night so rare that I always fight to stay awake and experience the moment a little while longer.

He stirs awake a few minutes after me, my unnatural stillness waking him.

"Jungkook?" He asks, turning to me with his eyes still closed.

"Hm?" I hum keeping my arms around his waist.

"Go back to sleep." He mumbles, dozing slightly himself.

I chuckle a little and hold him tighter. "Okay, darling."

He relaxes in my arms again, I'm not sure if he's sleep or not.

His phone buzzes against the nightstand startling both of us.

I grab for him, as I'm handing it to him Jimin's name is on the screen.

"Hello?" He answers groggily. "I told you I'd be back didn't I? Don't start with me, Jimin. I'm not in the mood. Just make sure everything is in order, you don't need me there for that do you? Can't you do anything on your own?"

His tone would hurt me so I know for a fact Jimin is damn near in tears.

Why was he so mean to him all of a sudden?

"Call your mother, she'll handle it. I'm hanging up." He ends the call, tossing his phone away before moving back into my arms and closing his eyes.

"You don't have to be so hard on him, do you?" I ask hugging him closer.

"He's annoying." He says opening his eyes and looking up at me. "And since when did you care about him?"

"I don't, but must you be and asshole?" I ask, I understand that he's annoying but even annoying people don't need to be constantly snapped at.

"Doesn't concern you." He says moving out of my arms and sitting up. "I need to get ready to head back."

"You aren't seriously upset are you?" I ask, he shakes his head.

"I have to get some things in order for his party tomorrow, he can't seem to handle it himself." He says running his fingers through his tangled hair.

I sit up and push the cover off. "Are you mad at him or something?"

"No, he's just constantly getting on my nerves and I'm tired of it." He says standing, dressed in only his black briefs.

"But every time I call him needy you get upset." I say standing as well and gathering my clothes from the ground.

"He doesn't know any better than to be needy." Taehyung says. "I do everything for him."

I laugh shaking my head. "I guess no one can talk about him but you, huh?"

He rolls his eyes. "I'm not saying that, you just love to remind me that I'm dating a loser compared to you."

"Tae, you're a bottom dating a bottom. That doesn't work." I say, which was true, they were bound to clash.

"I'm a switch." He defends. "There's a difference."

"No, you just thought you were a top before I fucked you properly." I say making him blush mildly.

"Whatever, I'm going to shower before going." He says picking him clothes up from the ground.

"Alright." I say taking my clothes to my closet.

"Y'know, Kook. I get kinda lonely in the shower sometimes, it'd be great to have a friend to go with me." Taehyung says, his voice innocently seductive.

"Am I your friend?" I ask with a smirk.

He chuckles. "My best friend."

"That's too bad, I'm strongly against seeing my friends naked." I say shaking my head.

"Well, you've already broken the rules more than once daddy, would it hurt to break them again?" Taehyung asks, pouting and leaning against the doorway.

I smile at him, a feeling running through me that isn't lust or longing, but love.

I love him.

I love him so much and I hate myself for it because he obviously didn't love me as much, and even if he did, someone was bound to be hurt in the end.

"Go get yourself warmed up for me, baby boy." I say, his eyes lights up before he goes quickly.

I sigh running my hand down my face, I don't think I can take this much longer.

All these quickies and all this sneaking around.

It wasn't fair that I couldn't have an open relationship with the man I love, and it wasn't fair that I had to share him with the man he claims he used to love.

No matter how much I pretended it didn't hurt and no matter how much I acted like it didn't phase me, it did.

I gave Taehyung my everything and he hasn't given me his.

It hurts to know that when I'm unavailable he's fucking Jimin, it hurts to know that he's probably only with me because I satisfy something Jimin can't, it hurts to know that everyone will think I'm the bad guy in the end when truly I'm just the guy who got caught in the middle and fell in love.

I just with I could fix everything to where everyone was happy but that was impossible, someone will always get hurt in the end.

And as much as I didn't want it to be me, I didn't want it to be Jimin or Tae either.

No matter what I did, in the end it was either me or Jimin.

And I'd be damned if it was Jimin.

🍃🍃🍃