Last week, I was basically called a "Libtard Democrat" and told that I was in a group that "should all just go die". This was not online, but to my face, in "real life", at work when I brought a customer's order out to his car while wearing my facemask. There is a government mandate in place requiring everyone to wear a mask in public currently, and the man who said this to me was not wearing one, came closer than 6 feet from me, and laughed when I backed away. My resistance to being within 6 feet of him is what provoked him to question whether I was "scared of this thing", and prompted a short lecture about how COVID-19 is no worse than the common flu, and was followed by his belief that I (as a member of a group of people that are just trying to stay safe in a global pandemic that has affected every country in the world and ours in monumental proportions) should "just go die."

Granted, it was my choice to accept his words as applying to me, he spoke in general terms - saying "they should just go die" to apply to all "libtard democrats". However, he did clearly believe I belonged to that group when he said it, so there's no excuse except that he was too cowardly to direct the words in a first person manner.

When the encounter first happened, I wasn't going to say anything about it. It was over in a moment and I jotted it off to just another rude person, like being cut off in traffic or leaned over in the grocery store by people who can't wait their turn. I shook my head and moved on. It seemed kind of petty to broadcast this person's rude unkindness to the world, and I certainly never considered tarnishing their business by disclosing the identity of this person (and I still won't). But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that there's a lot of people that just don't understand the concept of kindness and respect for others, and it seems to be largely on the "right" that it is coming from, and it's alarming because the people who say some of thr most hateful things truly believe that they are coming from the side of "justice".

How is it justice to speak such hateful words to somebody who is only doing their job - especially when their job is of service to you? Even if this person is correct in assuming that COVID-19 is a hoax, and it really isn't a danger, is it really necessary for them to verbally attack someone who is afraid? How is that a kindness? If they are truly in the belief that they are correct and they think that the masks are unnecessary, wouldn't it be more effective to speak gentler about their disbelief, to comfort the person who is afraid, rather than to basically tell them they should go die?

I don't understand the ideals of the other side. I try and try to understand, and I am generally fairly good at looking at situations from the perspectives of other people. Walking a mile in the shoes of others with empathy is an ability that I pride myself on, actually, and it is one of the gifts that I use everytime I sit down to write. But this whole year has thrown everything that I thought I knew into this sharp contrast that I'm not sure how to empathize with. How do you empathize with people who are so blind and unopen to the idea of caring about other people - and call it justice to hate? Not only call it justice but invoke the name of Jesus, as though Jesus would agree with them on their hate fueled views.

Face masks are an inconvenience. I get it. I hate them. I hate the inability to smile at others, and the way they capture heat (especially in the muggy summer heat). I hate the pimples and blisters behind my ears and on my chin and over my nose from wearing them all day, and I hate the way they smell overbearingly of any soap you use to clean them with so that I end up with migraines from the scent. Even unscented soap has a smell when it's pressed to your nose. I hate the extra expense of buying them, and the way they touch my mouth and nose when I inhale or exhale. I get anxiety and a sort of mild PTSD from them, too, after having worn them for months while my mother was dying of Leukemia, and I hate the way they make me feel as though I'm short of breath, even though I know I'm getting the full % of oxygen I need. But I'd rather wear a mask than kill someone else. It just seems like such a small price to pay.

It isn't just the masks that have me spinning this year, either, it's this whole Black Lives Matter situation and the lack of understanding from the right side. It makes me sick to my stomach that anyone can look at any of the cases that have been spotlighted these last few months and not see that the rage and pain of the black community is fully justified. How can they stick up for a cold blooded killer? Regardless of the color of their skin? Why is the black man that shot a white boy in prison but the white man that shot a black man not? Why is this a trend that happens constantly? Why did the black kid that was a victim profiled as a thug and the boy who carried a gun into the streets to shoot protestors from another state profiled as a troubled young man? Where is the justice in that? Why do they not see the injustice? Why do they believe that hundreds of members of the black community are exaggerating or lying about the way they are treated?

Why do I deserve to die... for being afraid of a global pandemic? ...because I think everyone should be treated equally and with respect? How is that "right"? How is that "justice"?

So here's what I should have said to that man who was so rude to me, instead of mumbling something awkward and quiet about how I'm required to wear the mask and scurrying away, letting him get away with his hateful words:

"I'm not a coward, I'm not a libtard. I guess you can call me a democrat, since my beliefs align more with that side of politics (for right now, on these particular issues). I'm a human being who cares about other human beings. I'm an empath. I've been broken, I've been overlooked, forgotten, and shunned. More often than not. But I don't deserve to die. And I don't deserve to be bullied by the words you are speaking to me. You don't know me, or my beliefs, you don't know what I feel or where I stand or what I am or am not afraid of. But it doesn't matter - you clearly do not respect me. It makes no difference to you if you offend or hurt me. I really hope that nobody ever treats you as you've just treated me... But if they ever do, I'll be on your side. I'll care about you and your feelings and want you to be okay and rise up against the people who burn you down. Because that is the right thing to do."