"What?", Zara uttered. 

I was shaking. I didn't know what to do. 

"Chanel is y-your older s-sister, Zara." He gulped and looked at me. Nakakunot ang noo kong tumingin sa kaniya. "Carol and I were together before. I got her pregnant and left her when I found out. I was scared of what my parents would think. I was scared of the huge responsibility", he said while looking down. 

Tears started to fall from my eyes. All I could feel right now is resentment and anger. Should I be happy to have found out who my father is? That my co-worker is my half-sister all along? Or be angry because of him admitting the fact that he left us suffering? I just couldn't process everything at the moment. 

"Iniwan ko siya at nangibang-bansa ako. I finished my studies abroad. A few years later, I found out that she became a famous fashion designer here. I'd often see her on tv and even on magazines. May mga times na pumupunta ako sa mga fashion shows niya just to get a glimpse of her. She'd even bring a child with her...and that was you, Chanel." 

I clenched my fist and looked at him with fury. 

"Why did you hide this from me? Does mom even know about this?", Zara asked. I could sense that she was also already crying. 

"No, she doesn't", he said almost whispering. 

"Then you got her pregnant too, didn't you? You were forced to marry her. Is that it? Kaya ba ganito nalang ang pagtrato mo sa akin, dad?", Zara asked with a stern voice. 

"No, Zara. I truly loved your mom."

"Then why do I see her crying every night? You knew that she had a weak heart. You caused her death!", she shouted not minding the media surrounding us. For sure, usapin na kami bukas sa social media. 

"Don't talk to me like that, Zara. I am still your father", he said in a calm voice. He took a deep breath before speaking again. 

"Chanel, anak, I am sor-"

"You have no right", I said cutting him off. "You left my mom and I because you were scared. You flew off to another country para gumaan ang buhay mo habang iniwan mong naghihirap ang nanay ko dito. Nakaya niyo pong kumain ng tatlong beses sa isang araw nang hindi naiisip kung nakakakain din po kami? Nasikmura mo po yun, Mr. Madrigal?" 

My body was shaking with anger. I feel like bursting anytime now but a lot of people are looking at us so I still have to keep my cool. 

"You knew very well that my mother had no family left yet you still chose to leave her. Hindi mo alam ang hirap na dinanas ng mommy ko. She was brave enough to raise me on her own and you will never match up to her because you're a coward."

He couldn't look at me straight in the eyes. 

"Then what? Two years later you made the same mistake. The only difference is that you didn't leave them." Zara looked at me intently. Ramdam kong gusto niya akong lapitan at yakapin pero matigas ang damdamin ko ngayon. 

"You're not my father, Mr. Madrigal." I shook my head at him. "That's not what a father's supposed to be." 

I slowly took a step back, turned around, and briskly walked towards the booth to get my bag while roughly wiping my tears. A lot of reporters were even following me but I didn't even care.

"H-hey, what happened?", salubong sa akin ni Anais na halatang kakarating lang. 

I walked past her and hurriedly grabbed my things. 

"Let's go home, Anais."

"B-but the show hasn't even started." I looked at her with pleading eyes and she automatically understood what I was trying to say so she held my hand and led me to the parking lot where her car is parked. 

Anais drove me home. There were times wherein she would glance at me. I just stayed quiet while looking outside the window. 

Anais' phone suddenly rang. She put on her wireless earbuds and answered the call. 

"Hello, Faye. Yes please. Ikaw na muna bahala diyan."

I closed my eyes and continued listening to what Anais was saying.

"Wait, what? Ok, ok. Kayo nalang magligpit diyan. I'm sorry talaga. Thank you, bye." She ended the call at saktong nakarating na kami sa bahay ko. 

Agad-agad akong dumiretso sa kwarto at humiga sa kama. I turned my body to the side facing the window. A few moments later, I felt Anais lay beside me as she wrapped her arm around my waist. 

"Zara is my sister", I said. I could tell that she was taken aback by what I said dahil lumuwag ang yakap niya sa akin.

"Would you believe that? I've known her for three years and I'd only know now that she's my sister." I scoffed. 

"Her dad is my dad. He left my mom and I for his freedom." I faced Anais and started breaking down. "I can never forgive him, Anais. I don't even know if I'll accept him in my life." Hindi ko na napigilang humagulgol. 

Anais sat down and hugged me tight while massaging my back. 

"Shh. You'll be alright."

After crying, I felt myself drifting to sleep. 

Pagkagising ko ay nakita kong andito padin si Anais. She was sitting on the chair in front of the bed while looking at her phone. Nakakunot ang noo niya pero napawi din ito nang makita niyang gising na ako.

"Dani, you're awake." She stood up from her seat and got the tray full of food on the table. "Kain ka muna. Nay Fellie prepared this."

I slowly sat down while she got the bed table and placed the food on top of it. I could still feel my head banging because of how hard I cried earlier. 

"Ano sabi ni Faye?", I asked her. I got the orange juice and drank it. 

"Natuloy naman yung mga models sa runway. Sinabi nalang nung host na you guys had an emergency. Apparently, Zara left as well so no one was able to represent your brand."

"What else?", I asked. 

"And, uhm, it kinda went viral on twitter." She smiled awkwardly. I massaged my temple and closed my eyes in frustration. Sabi na nga ba pag-uusapan kami nito eh. 

I started eating my food pero parang wala akong ganang kumain. I've been such a mess lately. Hindi ko naaasikaso ng maayos ang mga kliyente ko kaya nagkakaproblema sa ibang mga projects na ginagawa ko tapos dumagdag pa ito. The worst part is that the person I wanted to be with to ease my agony a bit is not beside me. Simula nung anniversary namin, parating good morning at good night nalang ang nasasabi namin sa chat. Pag nag-uusap naman kami sa telepono ay di kami nagkakaintindihan. I admit, mabilis akong mairita lalo na ngayong ang dami kong problema at si Dee ang napagbubuntungan ko ng aking galit. Ang ending, palagi kaming nag-aaway. We never had a proper conversation ever since. 

I felt my eyes watering. Agad naman itong napansin ni Anais. 

She sat beside me and gently massaged my back. "Hey"

I looked at her and pressed her hand. "Everything's so hard right now, Anais." I broke down again. She pulled me closer to hug me and caressed my hair. 

"I'll always be here, Dani. Walang iwanan nga diba." 

Napangiti ako ng kaunti sa sinabi niya. This woman. I'll never ever get tired of saying that I'm so lucky to have a friend like her. 

"Ok, now cheer up. Let's watch a movie." She got up from the bed to get the remote. Kalaunan ay binigay niya ito sa akin. "Do you have gum?", she asked. 

I wiped my tears and fixed my hair. "Yeah, diyan sa side table. The first drawer." 

She opened the drawer to look for the pack of gum. She suddenly froze. Pasimple akong tumingin sa kung anong tinitignan niya. It was Kai's uno cards na hindi ko na nabalik sa kaniya. I saw how her expression changed. Napabuntong hininga siya. She roughly grabbed the gum and closed the drawer after. 

I immediately shifted my gaze back to the tv for her not to notice. Bumalik siya sa tabi ko. 

"Kailan ka uuwi? Di ka ba hinahanap sa inyo?", tanong ko sa kaniya. 

"After one movie, I guess." 

Anais and I just watched a movie on Netflix. After which, she went home since it was already getting late. 

Napabagsak nalang ako sa aking kama at tumingin sa kisame. When boredom hit me, I decided to call Dee to tell him about my day.

"Hi bub", masigla kong bati sa kaniya. 

["Bub, hi. Uhm...what is it?], he said. His voice sounded shaky though. I wonder what he's up to.

"Didn't you see? I'm all over the news now."

["I'm sorry, bub. Now's not the right time. I'm doing some-"]

"Then when is the right time?!" I cut him off with my words. Nabigla din ako sa pagtaas ng boses ko sa kaniya. I just couldn't hold it in any longer. Our relationship has been in a rough patch lately. It's like we're drifting apart. We barely even have time for each other. 

"When is the right time for us to talk, Dee? We barely even had a proper conversation since our anniversary. Ganito na ba pag magiging CEO ng isang kumpanya, huh? Is your work more important than this relationship?" I started crying. 

He sighed before answering. ["Hindi naman sa ganun, Dani. Please understand. It's just that something happe-"]

I cut him off again. "But you always say that, Dee! Something happened pero wala ka namang sinasabi sa akin. How can I understand if you don't tell me things? Ganito nalang ba tayo palagi? Hindi na nga tayo nagkikita tapos palagi pa tayong nag-aaway." My voice started to sound hoarse because of crying. 

["Dani, please. I'll explain everything. Just not now. Babawi ako sayo."] I felt that he was crying too by the way he sounded. 

"Your work or our relationship?", walang alinlangan kong tanong sa kaniya. 

["Dani, please don't do this."]

"Don't make me come to the point where I ask you to choose, Dee. If I am important to you, you'd spare me some time. Hindi yung ako nalang palagi ang nag eeffort, nangangamusta tapos ang bungad mo sa akin ay now is not the right time." I scoffed. "Minsan napapaisip pa nga ako kung trabaho pa ba talaga ang ginagawa mo eh." I paused. "Don't break my trust, Dee. I'm begging you." I could hear him breathe heavily. Nagulat ako nang may narinig akong parang nabasag sa kabilang linya. 

"What was that?", I asked getting worried all of a sudden. 

["D-Dani, I h-have to go. I'm sorry."] He immediately ended the call. I was left there with a lot of questions in my head. 

Parang gusto kong sumabog ngayon. A lot of things happened just this day and I couldn't put into words what I'm feeling right now. Halo-halong emosyon ang nararamdaman ko. Galit, sakit, takot. Galit dahil sa hindi ko inaasahang pagkikita namin ng tatay ko. Sakit dahil sa sitwasyon namin ni Dee ngayon. At takot na baka bukas magbago ang lahat at mawala na siya ng tuluyan sa akin. 

I weakly walked down the stairs. I sat on the seat and laid my head on the piano not minding the tears that are running down my face. Mas lalo akong humagulgol nang makita ko ang picture frame ni mommy na lagi kong nilalagay sa piano ko. 

I bit my lip and tried to stop myself from crying too loud but my emotions engulfed me. 

"Mommy, if you are listening right now, please help me...", I said in between my cries. 

That night, I fell asleep sitting down while hugging my mom's picture. 

I woke up feeling the cold sheets pressed against my skin. I blinked to adjust my vision and saw myself laying on my bed. Did I go back here after crying downstairs? Did I sleepwalk? 

Confused, I fixed myself and went down to eat breakfast. 

"Nak, gising ka na pala. Kain na", tawag sa akin ni Nay Fellie. I gave her a weak smile. 

I sat at the end of the table and ate the food Nay Fellie prepared for me. I looked at the aura of the dining area. Naalala ko tuloy yung mga panahong masaya kaming magbabarkadang kumakain dito tuwing may okasyon. It pains me to see how I'm the only person eating here right now. It was quiet with lots of empty spaces that were filled by laughters and memories of us. 

Matagal akong nakatunganga kaya hindi ko namalayang tumabi na pala sa akin si Nay Fellie na ngayo'y kumakain na din. 

"Nak, ano ba ang nangyari kahapon? Nakausap ko si Anais kagabi. Ama mo ba talaga yung tatay ni Zara?", tanong niya sa akin. Napayuko ako at tumingin nalang sa aking pagkain.

"Di ko po talaga alam, Nay. Mahirap paniwalaang may tatay pa pala ako na ngayong maayos na ang kalagayan ko, doon lang siya nagpakilala sa akin. Ngayong matanda na ako at hindi ko na kailangan ng pag-aaruga." I sighed. "Hindi ko po alam kung anong mararamdaman ko."

Inusog niya ang kaniyang upuan upang lumapit sa akin at hinagod ang likod ko. 

"Nakita kitang lumaki at alam kong hindi naging madali sayo na hindi kumpleto ang pamilya mo. Pero tandaan mo, may dahilan ang lahat ng nangyayari sa atin. At ngayong nakilala mo na ang ama mo, sa tingin ko ay isa itong pintuan upang mas makilala mo pa ang iyong sarili." She smiled at me thoughtfully. "Sa ngayon, kung hindi ka pa handang harapin siya, wag mong pilitin ang sarili mo. Ikaw lang ang makakapagdesisyon diyan. Alalahanin mo din si Zara. Parehas niyo lang hindi alam kaya maiging kausapin mo din siya mamaya kung papasok ka sa trabaho."

I smiled and hugged her. "Salamat, nay." We pulled away from each other after a few seconds. 

"Siya nga pala, andito si Dee kagabi." Agad akong napatingin sa kaniya nang masabi niya ang pangalan ni Dee.

"Ho? Mga anong oras?", tanong ko. 

"Mga bandang alas dos, lumabas ako ng kwarto para umihi tapos nakita kitang natutulog sa may piano mo. Tatawagin ko na sana si Dan para tulungan akong idala ka sa kwarto mo dahil di kita mabuhat pero biglang dumating si Dee. Siya na ang nagdala sayo sa taas." 

"K-kailan po siya umalis?" 

"Kani-kanina lang bago ka nagising." Napatango ako sa sinabi niya. 

"Pero alam mo, parang tumanda nga itsura niya eh. Dumating siya dito kagabi na mugto ang mata tsaka magulo ang buhok."

I awkwardly smiled. "Stress lang po siguro sa trabaho", sabi ko.

Binilisan kong kumain para hindi na ako makarinig pa tungkol kay Dee. Masyadong magulo ang pag-iisip ko ngayon. Ayoko muna siyang pag-usapan. Ilang beses na din kaming nag-aaway pero ngayon lang niya ako naisipang puntahan kung kailan ako tulog. 

I took a bath and wore a simple light blue off shoulder dress paired with my Bottega Veneta padded sandals. I let my hair down and sprayed some perfume before getting in my car to drive to the atelier. I at least need to show up to work today to make it up for what happened yesterday. Di ko alam kung pano ko haharapin ang mga empleyado ko. They were expecting a lot from me but I failed them. 

When I arrived at the atelier, I was greeted by Faye as usual. Diretso akong pumunta sa aking opisina at nakasalubong ko pa si Zara. Napayuko siyang sinundan ako papasok. 

I sat down on my swivel chair and placed my bag on top of the table. Zara gently closed the door and stood in front of me. I looked at her and saw how she was playing with her fingers as if she didn't know what to tell me. 

"I'm s-sorry about yesterday. I-I know you're mad at me b-because the show was ruined", nangangatal niyang sabi. 

"Zara." I called her. I stood up from my seat and reached out for her hand before hugging her. She flinched at my sudden move but hugged me back after. Tears fell from my face as I heard her sobs. We stayed in our positions for a while before pulling away from each other. 

"Zara, I'm not mad at you", I said while gently massaging her hand. "How will I be mad at my sister?" She looked up at me and I saw how her eyes glinted. 

"Don't feel bad, Zara. It's not your fault." I went back to my seat and motioned for her to sit as well. 

"You know, the first day we met, I felt like there was something in you that I couldn't describe. Kaya pala ang gaan ng loob ko sayo. And no wonder a lot of people think that we look very much alike. I just couldn't think that we've been with each other for how many years now pero ngayon lang natin nalamang magkapatid pala tayo." I shook my head in disbelief. 

"I am genuinely happy I have found you, Zara." Tears started to form in the corner of my eyes. 

"C-can I perhaps call you a-ate?", she asked shyly. Napangiti ako sa kaniya.

"Of course. You can call me ate." We smiled at each other. 

"San ka nga pala nakatira ngayon?", I asked her. I remembered Mr. Madrigal saying that she doesn't go home.

"I rented a small apartment near this place", she said. A bright idea suddenly popped on my mind. 

"How about you move in with me?", I asked. Her eyes widened with what I said. "I mean, technically, we're sisters, right? So we should be living together. But if you're not okay with the idea, then-"

"Yes, yes! I would love to!", she squealed. Para siyang batang nakatanggap ng lollipop. "I would like to get to know my ate more." Nagbago bigla ang timpla ng kaniyang mukha. "Pero kailangan ko ding kausapin pa si dad." 

"Yeah, I think I should too but I feel like I'm not ready yet." I smiled awkwardly. 

"You can just sleep later at my house if you want", I said changing the topic. 

"Sure, ate."

After work, I happily went home to prepare my overnight with Zara. She said she'll go back to her apartment first to get her things. Pagkadating ko sa bahay ay may napansin akong kotseng nakaparada sa tapat ng gate. Mukhang mamahalin itong sasakyang ito. I parked my car behind it and went down to see who it was. 

As soon as I entered my home, I was greeted by a man in the living room. It was Dee's father. Napakunot ang aking noo nang makita siya. He looked a lot older compared to when I last saw him when Dee introduced me to him. I confusedly sat down in front of him. 

"Nak, sorry ah. Pinapasok ko nalang siya tutal ama naman siya ni Dee", salubong sa amin ni Nay Fellie na inilapag ang tasa ng kape sa harap ni Mr. Saavedra. He got it and sipped from it. 

"Sige po, nay. Iwanan niyo po muna kami dito." When Nay Fellie was out of sight, he immediately started talking. 

"Iha, hindi na ako magpapaligoy-ligoy pa", he said with a stern voice. He sounded so intimidating. 

"I want you out of my son's life." Noon palang hindi na boto sa akin si Mr. Saavedra kaya naman hindi na ako nagulat nang sabihin niya ito sa akin pero ang susunod na katagang binitawan niya ay aking ikinabahala. 

"How much do you want? Just tell me." He got out a check from his pocket and started writing on it. At that moment, I was just clenching my fists and biting my lips. Walang pinagbago sa kaniya. He has always looked down on me as if I'm not a decent human being. 

"Mawalang-galang na ho, Mr. Saavedra. I won't accept your money. Kung anong kaya niyong ibigay sa akin, kaya ko ding tapatan. I'm not as poor and low-class as you think." I stood up from my seat. "I love your son. We may be going through a rough patch but I love him and I won't leave him just because I am not of your liking. So if you're not going to say anything nice, I suggest you leave", I calmly said but deep inside, I was fuming with anger. 

He smirked at me and placed the cup of coffee on the table. He crossed his arms and sarcastically smiled at me. I walked past him and was about to go up to my room when I heard his voice again. 

"Dee and Zara were supposed to get married next month." My eyes widened with what he said. 

"We've been planning this even before you came in the picture. Our company could've been saved from bankruptcy through their marriage and the merging of our companies." 

Bankruptcy? Last time I checked, their company was thriving especially because Dee's already the CEO.

I was shaking all over. Tears started falling from my eyes. I vigorously gripped the strap of my hand bag. 

"But my good friend Raul Madrigal and his daughter Zara decided to cut their ties with me yesterday. Even before that, I heard the news that you are Raul's daughter." He paused, went in front of me, and looked at me in the eye. 

"Ok na sanang ikasal kayo ni Dee. Too bad, you're not yet a Madrigal by name." Nilagpasan niya ako para kunin ang tasa ng kape sa lamesa para uminom ulit. I took the chance to close my eyes and let my tears out. 

"Because of you, everything's ruined. My son has to deal with the bankruptcy now that he's taken over the company. Lahat ng pinaghirapan namin ay napunta sa wala. Isa ka lang pabigat at dagdag sa mga problema niya." Lalong bumigat ang paghinga ko. 

"Stay away from my son while I'm being nice. I can take away everything you have right now in just a snap." I gritted my teeth.

"Thanks for the coffee." I heard him place the cup back on the table and opened the main door. Pagkalingon ko ay wala na siya sa aking paningin. 

Napaluhod ako sa aking kinatatayuan. I felt myself breathing heavily. Tanging hagulgol ko lang ang umalingawngaw sa sala. Why the fuck did the both of them keep this a secret from me? For three fucking years. I was a fool for three whole years. Kaya pala minsan, ayaw pag-usapan ni Dee si Zara. Fuck the both of them! Fuck my life! 

I shakily grabbed my phone from my bag and dialed Dee's number. It took a while for him to answer the call. 

"Dee" 

["B-bub...I missed you."] I heard his voice crack. 

"Where are you?", I asked with no emotion. 

["In my condo. Why?"]

"I'm going there now. Let's talk." 

["But-"] Before he could even answer, I immediately ended the call. I held onto the sofa beside me for support. 

I stood up and got my car keys from the table and headed over to Taft. I was shaking and crying the entire ride. I couldn't bring myself to calm down after everything that has happened to me these past few days. 

https://youtu.be/4HIJ8cbQdXQ

(P.S. I suggest playing this song para mas lalong ramdam hahaha)

I wiped my tears before going out of my car. I rode the elevator going up to his unit. I was alone. At that moment, it just felt so suffocating. I fumbled my fingers and when I finally reached his floor, I didn't want to move. My feet felt heavy. I tried to stop my tears from falling again as I walked to his unit. I rang the doorbell. I know the password. It was our anniversary. But I chose to wait for him to open the door. 

He opened it a few seconds later. I looked at him in the eye for a while and all I could see was sadness and longing. 

I stepped inside. I felt him close the door and when he faced me, my palm landed straight unto his cheek. He looked down and gently massaged it. He looked taken aback by what I did. 

"Y-you and Zara, huh?", nangangatal kong sabi. 

"Bub, l-let me e-explain..." I looked at him. Nakita kong umiiyak na din siya. I had the chance to see how he looked. He's such a mess. He had stubbles on and his hair was all over the place. Mukha din siyang ilang araw nang hindi nakatulog dahil sa lalim ng eyebags niya. He also had bruises on his face.

"Palagi mo nalang sinasabi yan. I don't need any of your excuses anymore!", sigaw ko sa kaniya habang pinapalo-palo ang kaniyang dibdib. 

"I d-didn't want to h-hurt you."

"Pero sa ginagawa mo ngayon sa akin, mas lalo mo akong sinasaktan." Hindi na ako nakapagpigil pa ng aking emosyon at mas umiyak pa ako lalo. "All I ever wanted was for you to be with me. Ang dami kong problema ngayon but at the end of the day, you're the only person I want to be with to ease the pain I'm feeling. Pero nasan ka? Nandun kay Zara who happens to be my sister? Ginagawa niyo akong tanga! Ginagawa niyo akong bobo! You were supposed to get fucking married! And you told me your company was doing well but I just found out that you got bankrupt. Why are you feeding me such lies?"

"H-how did you..." He paused and clenched his fists. "Papa..." 

"Bakit hindi mo sinabi sa akin lahat ng ito? Bakit?! Kailangan ko pa bang malaman sa ibang tao ang mga nangyayari sayo?!" 

"Because I didn't want to burden you!", napasigaw na din siya. "Just like what you said, may mga problema ka din. Did you seriously think you're the only one suffering? Sa tingin mo ba pag nagsama tayo at nagsabihan ng problema, would that solve anything?" Napahilot siya sa kaniyang sentido. "How could two broken people fix each other?", he faintly said. 

I was shocked with his sudden outburst. I zipped my lips for a while and tried to contain my emotions but failed. Halatang nagulat din siya sa kaniyang pagsigaw sa akin. 

"I'm sorry. It's just that wala kang alam sa pinagdadaanan ko ngayon, Dani", he said. 

"Exactly. So how am I supposed to understand you when I don't know anything?" Napailing-iling ako sa kaniya. 

"Let's just end this", mariin kong ipinikit ang mata ko habang sinabi ko sa kaniya ang mga katagang ito. 

He knelt in front of me and held my hand. "No, please. Dani, please. I'm sorry. I'll do everything just don't go, please", pagmamakaawa niya sa akin.

I roughly took away my hand from his grip. "I'm sick and tired of giving you more chances, Dee. They just go to waste anyway." 

Tama nga sila. There is poverty in giving too much of your heart. 

I was about to move when he held on my legs tightly. "Dani, please." I felt his tears dripping on my legs. I bit my lip and stifled my cries. It hurts so much to do this but I just have to. We aren't happy anymore. He was my missing piece but everything changed and I suddenly began losing pieces of him, until there was nothing left. 

I walked towards the door and he dragged himself with me. 

"Stop it, Dee! This is not gonna work anymore." We stayed in that position for a while. Minutes after, I felt his arms loosening his grip from my legs. I looked at him and saw how his face turned emotionless. 

"G-goodbye, Dee." My voice cracked upon saying those words. I turned around and opened the door.

He spoke again. "I will wait for you no matter how long it takes. I-Ikaw l-lang..." Sinuntok-suntok niya ang kaniyang dibdib. "...ikaw lang a-ang l-laman nito." 

I gritted my teeth. God knows how much I tried to stop myself from hugging him right now. The more I see him like this, the more I want to stay. But it just isn't right. Like what he said, we're both messed up right now. I think it's fair if we distance ourselves from each other for now.

I hurriedly went out without looking back at him and slammed it. Para akong nabunutan ng tinik pagkalabas ko ng unit niya. I leaned my back against the wall. Nilabas ko na ang lahat ng aking mga luha. I love him so much that it hurts. It hurts to see the both of us like this. We forgot the essence of having each other's backs no matter the circumstance. We failed each other. 

After that day, I went back to my old self. Locking myself up in my room, watching netflix the whole day, eating unhealthy food, and endlessly playing the piano. I refused to take calls from anyone except Anais. 

Wala na akong balita sa kaniya. It's been a week since we broke up. Di na rin muna ako pumasok ng trabaho para di ko makita si Zara. I also deleted all my social media apps on my phone. There were times when Anais calls me to tell me what's happening but I always cut her out. I didn't want to hear his name yet. She says it's important but I didn't care. I just want him to leave my mind.

Just today, I decided to reinstall my apps and check the news. The first thing I opened was my twitter. Nagulat ako nang makita ko ang sobrang daming notifications dito. They were all just tagging me until a tweet caught my eye. It was from five days ago. 

What can you say about this issue @chaneldanica?

I quickly opened it to check what it was. 

Known Business Tycoon, Dave Saavedra put behind bars for importing illegal drugs through his company, DLS Shipping Lines, Inc. 

What? 

I got curious and read more of the article. 

Dave Saavedra, the previous CEO of DLS Shipping Lines, Inc. admitted to several charges filed against him. On Tuesday last week, March 1, Saavedra was caught by authorities in a casino in Manila for importing illegal drugs in the country using his owned cargo ships. It was known that gambling was the cause of his company's bankruptcy putting all the burden on his son, Dior Saavedra who was supposed to take over his position. After further investigation, Saavedra who was under the influence of drugs was also found guilty of domestic violence against his wife, Mirasol Saavedra and son, Dior Saavedra. 

Napatakip ako ng bibig sa aking nabasa. I couldn't believe it. Parang gusto kong bawiin lahat ng sinabi kong masasakit na salita sa kaniya kanina. 

Dali-dali akong nagbihis at pumunta sa condo ni Dee. It was already dark. Malakas na din ang ulan kaya dahan-dahan akong nag drive. 

Sa labas pa ako nakapag-park. Pagkatingin ko sa aking likod, wala akong nakitang payong. 

"Fucking shit!" I hissed. Bumaba na ako sa aking sasakyan at pumasok sa loob. Buti nalang naka hoodie ako. 

As I went up, kabado kong minamasahe ang aking ulo. I don't know what his reaction will be. Baka ipagtabuyan niya ako tulad ng ginawa ko sa kaniya. 

When I reached his unit, I shakily entered the password. Pagkapasok ko ay tumulo nalang ang aking mga luha. It was clean. Not because there weren't any trash but because there weren't any furniture anymore. I quickly went to his room to check his closet. 

Gone. Everything's gone. 

I lost my balance at napaupo ako sa sahig. What the fuck have I done? I can't believe I gave up on him easily. I gave up on us easily. 

Mas lalo akong naiyak nang makita ko ang instax picture namin ni Dee na nakakalat sa sahig. We were beside each other. My arms were wrapped around him while I was kissing his cheek. I looked at the back of the photo and saw his handwriting on it. 

I love you so much more than just the moon and back. 

Forever and always, Dior and Chanel

I felt a pang of pain on my chest. If only I listened to him. If only I gave him another chance. If only I tried to understand him we wouldn't be in this situation right now. Galit ako sa sarili ko. I was too selfish to think about his feelings. I broke up with him when he needed me the most. 

I hope someday we get to bring back what we had. I'll be holding on to what you said, Dee. I'll wait with you. For now, let's heal. And when the time comes, I hope your heart will still be open to accept me. I hope the scars we've given each other will all be healed. 

If I am the moon, you are my stars. Let's shine bright together, bub. Till we see each other again. 

**End of chapter**