[ a/n. typing this from my phone so it'll be a mess, sorry sorry. this is kaze's point of view, or something ]

I can't hug this pillow and think of you anymore. Actually, I can't even think of anything asides from wanting to disappear.

I never make a sound, do I? Yet the bed sheet is flooded with briny tasting tears.

My cheeks are wet.

But that's not you who's crying, is it?

I don't want you to worry about me anymore. That sad face of yours really breaks my heart you know? I really fucking hate it. I really fucking hate how I love when you pity me, and show me attention.

But I don't like feeling weak either.

If I could just have you for one night. If you would just hold me, hold me completely, and love me.

Love me entirely.

F××k the sadness out of me. Make it go away.

I just don't want to feel so bad anymore.

I just don't want to wake up anymore.

I just don't want to do this anymore.

I just want to die.

God isn't that merciful is he, though? So here again is another sleepless night.