[ notes/ this takes place a bit after kazemaru left the team in season two, but before the dark emperors lingo. also it's not exactly canon lol, just for fun. ]

Park heaved a deep breath before lifting the phone to her ear. It hadn't been very long that Raimon lost two more precious members, but it'd been long enough. Yes, she completely understood his reasons for leaving - and she would never try to change his mind. Though, the female was just curious as of to how he was doing. They were friends, after all. At least that's what she hoped.

The call was answered after ringing twice, but Kazemaru didn't say anything. On her end, she was under the shade of a tree, and the sky was void of any clouds. The weather was surprisingly nice, but Kazemaru. . . He sat in his room, on his bed. The only kind of warmth he'd gotten for a week. The curtains were draped shut, blocking out any kind of light that'd try to pool into his room. He hadn't left for almost three days, he refused any kind of food his mother brought him - everything made him want to throw up.

"Kazemaru. . . ?" Her little voice. Her little voice hurt so god damn much. Eyes completely dull, the teal haired boy's breath shook uncontrollably. As if forcing himself not to cry, he clutched the white fabric of his dress shirt over his chest.

"Hey." He responded, clenching his teeth.

"It's been a while, I was just thinking about you." Park continued, a small smile marring her features. "I hope you're doing well."

"I- see. . ." Kazemaru sunk his teeth into his lower lip. "I'm fine."

"Take care of yourself, alright?" By his voice, she knew that was a lie, but provoking him wouldn't do any good. Just then had Kino told her practice would start soon, so the girl nodded. "I have to get to practice, but let's talk again soon. Bye." She chirped, ending the call on that note. With a small sigh, she scampered over to Kino and they walked back to the pitch together.

When the line went dead, Kazemaru's hand dropped limp. He stared at the wall until his phone's screen went black again. He wanted to scream, he wanted to smash his phone against the wall and scream. But every limb in his body was weak, he couldn't even bring himself to move. For the hundredth time, he'd closed his eyes, and hoped they'd never open.

By 'let's talk again soon', he did not think she meant in one day. He did not think she meant that she'd be showing up at his front door. His mother let the girl inside, then called him down, apparently 'someone was here to see him'. The tealette dragged himself down the staircase, blinking his eyes in confusion at the white haired girl. She merely pulled a chocolate-box smile and waved. The boy nearly tripped over his own feet.

He suddenly grabbed her wrist and pulled her up the stairs, practically throwing her into his room and slamming the door shut. She hadn't made any protests, but rubbed at her wrist instead.

"Is something wrong?" Park asked quietly.

Yes.

Something is wrong.

"What are you doing here-!?" Kazemaru roughly grabbed her shoulders. "Why the hell are you here!?"

Her eyes just barely widened as he shook her. Park had absolutely no idea showing up to see him was a bad thing. He was so terrifying all of a sudden, to the point a little tear pricked at the end of her lash. She was worried for him, she wanted to make sure he was okay, Park just wanted to be a good friend. Yet for some reason, he was berating her.

"I-I'm sorry." The white haired girl just barely managed to squeak out as he lowered his head. For a while neither of them had said anything, it was deadly silent - until a small hic was heard from the male.

"Why. . ." Gritting his teeth to force back any tears that threatened to fall, the tealette choked out. "Why did you have to show up. . ." Broken, broken, his voice was so broken. He'd cried out all of his tears and screamed all of his regrets in the mirror.

Today was the day.

Today was supposed to be the day that it would all come to an end. He wouldn't have to put up with all of these frustrations and poisonous thoughts anymore. He had the rope and everything. He'd end this nightmare at his favourite place in Inazuma Town when the sun sets. Beside the tower where they shook hands, and finally became friends. Beside the tower he tried to confess over, and over, but was too much of a coward and never did.

But no.

She had to show up. She just had to show up here, and make him want to live another day.

What kind of fucking sick joke was this?

"Please don't cry- I'll leave if that's what you want." In the softest, sweetest voice she'd muttered. He immediately snapped his head up at her, she'd almost jumped.

"No." Kazemaru shook his head. "Please. Don't leave me again." Desperate to keep her here in this near pitch black room, he wrapped his arms around her. Without a second of hesitation, Park had returned the embrace, but it felt like nothing but thorns. It was pity. She was doing this out of pity.

"I won't leave then, I promise." The female whispered, stroking at his back. Reluctantly, Kazemaru pulled away from her to see her face. She was still as pretty as he remembered, still as bright and shining as the sun, unlike himself. Without thinking, he closed the gap and pressed his lips against hers. This was what he wanted after all, but when she kissed back, it still felt like someone was stabbing him from the inside. So he kept going, and going, hoping it'd feel better at some point.