May 17, 2020 edited

Not perfect but better...No plot changes

TONY'S POV

I was a mix between nervous and excited. All I wanted was this day to go off without any problems. Nick and I had everything worked out and Lola was adding the last minute details. Now I just had to keep Mac out of the training center. With Corey's help that shouldn't be a huge problem. She has been spending more time in the woods the past few days then anything else. It made sense her wolf was still healing and would take more comfort there then being surrounded by walls. As everyday passed I could see her improving. She was getting stronger physically. Emotional was another subject. She had changed a lot since the night she shifted for the first time and the night she tried to attack Jenson. Not that the little bastard didn't deserve it. I don't care what his excuses where he was wrong no matter what. The only reason I even let him near Mac was because he knew he was wrong and the chances of getting Mac back in his life were slim to none. He was trying to help her for her and not for himself.

None of us had on our rose coloured sunglasses when it came to Mac. We all knew she was off but we also decided to give her time and space. I was giving her another week and that was it. This babing her was what she needed at the moment but it would backfire soon. She needed to get back on track. I was the only one who thought that. I thought Nick would have agreed with me but he has not been himself since the night Mac broke down. Corey and Alpha Alexander told us with this kind of emotional trauma to her wolf she would feel nothing for a while but when her emotions came back it would hit her all at once. From what I heard it was bad.

Something happened between Nick and Mac that night, I just didn't know what but it must have been bad. Since then Mac has avoided Nick even more so then she did with Jenson. While Nick looked lost and confused. I brought it up to Nick once and he just walked away. Ever since that night Nick has not been himself. I watched him watch Mac and there was something in his eyes that I just couldn't figure it out. Once in a while when I caught her looking over at Nick all I saw in her was pain.

Mac and Corey have seemed to be spending some time together which in turn pissed of Jenson and Nick. I wasn't too thrilled about it but I was just glad she would talk to somebody. She had been keeping her distance from me again. She even thought her lame excuses why she couldn't train would keep me away. It didn't. She wasn't so much as avoiding me she just kept things quick and simple.

Then there was Jenson. The past couple of days I would watch him when Mac was around. Of course he was watching her and even got physically close to her. She had no reaction to him for the most part. She would answer questions that he asked without any attitude and then walk away. I even caught her a couple times looking over at him when he wasn't paying attention. The only expression on her face at those times was confusion. To an outsider you would only see a bond that was truly broken from the night she tried to attack him. His death consumed her mind, body and soul that night. But when you see that look in her eye it was filled with confusion. The bond was still there from what Jenson had told us, it was damaged but still in contact. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen that look in Mac's eyes. I think Corey did too but for everyone else it was gone. We didn't confirm or deny anything.

It worried me. If she was feeling even half the bond then I wasn't sure what she would do. He hurt her even if she will never admit it. The mating bond is deep inside us and that kind of betrayal leaves deep dark scares. That night when she broke down was proof of that. Now I just hoped that she was either strong enough to keep on fighting the bond which I had my doubts about because the more Jenson was around the stronger the bond would most likely grow again especially since he wanted her, needed her now. Oh I know he says he is around her to help her wolf and I believe him, but I also see the need in his eyes now. I think that realization that she was not a lost cause and the fear he had that he would have to kill his own mate won over anything else he was feeling. It was that fear that drove him to what he had done. It was that fear that had broken Mac and had her attack him. It was that fear that almost completely broke the bond. It was that scene when he told everyone about her past that tipped the scales from a possible relationship to nothing. Stupid moron.

I never thought I would say this but I miss my smart mouth Mac. I miss the music blaring in the training center. I miss her fighting not to smile when she is happy. I miss those damn steel toe boots she wears. Hell I wasn't sure I seen her wearing any of her usual clothing. Now it was oversized t-shirts and leggings. She was a different girl and not one for the better. I hoped this surprise birthday party would snap her out of it. It could go 3 ways. She will hate it and tell us all off. She will fight off the fact that she likes it. Or the third, the one that scares me the most, she will show nothing at all. The first two means she is slowly finding herself again. The last means it is time to get the big guns out.

Last night I thought I started to see a little bit of herself come back. We were all in the theatre room watching a movie. She made a couple wisecrack comments and Nick said a few back. Not really talking to each other but she acknowledged him which put a smile on his face. When the movie was done she gave me a small kiss on the cheek, Squeezed Corey's hand briefly, smiled at Nick and actually gave Jenson a small smile as well. It was a sad one but still there. After that she left while the rest of us sat dumbfounded looking at the door she left out of.

"SHIT!" I shouted in the middle of the training center dropping the roll of crate paper we were using to decorate for Mac's surprised birthday party. "Has anyone seen Mac this morning?" I was borderline frantic. Fuck why couldn't I see the signs earlier? "Nick? Corey? When was the last time you seen her?" Corey looked confused but Nick looked pained. He took off running for the door with me hot on his heels.

"What's wrong?" Jenson barked when we busted in the pack house in a full out run. He was just coming out of his father's office.

"Mac. Have you seen her?" Nick asked, slowing down before hitting the stairs. When Jenson shook his head we all flew up the stairs and raced to her room.

I didn't knock, throwing the door open everything looked normal at first glance. Nick walked to the dresser while Corey took the bathroom. Before they could confirm anything I already knew. It was that lonely piece of paper that laid in the middle of the bed that said it all. I heard Jenson's chants while he repeated the word 'no' over and over again. I heard Alpha Alexander asked what happened and I heard Thomas roar. The note was simple with only two words.

I'm sorry.

Mac had left the pack. Left all of us. Left her life for a possible death sentence. The stupid pathetic note she left was crumpled in my hands. "Mackenzie!" I screamed from the top of my lungs. I knew the whole house heard me and most likely anyone within a mile radius did as well.

I wasn't hurt. I was fucking furious. I had lost one person that was my whole life and I would be damned if I lost her as well. "When I find that little bitch I am locking her away!" I stormed out of her room before I took out my anger on anything or anyone.

"Tony! Wait a minute will you!" Corey was yelling at me. I stopped before I hit the stairs. "Let's check the videos first to see what time she left. It will give us something to start with. At least we will know when she left." He made sense. I know I wasn't thinking clearly and had to start. I would be no good if I stayed this emotional. I swear when I got my hands on her...

With that said we all went into the Alpha's office. Brad set up the laptop to the hidden screen behind the book cases. Once he found what he was looking for we all watched at the saved video fast forward till we saw Mac walking out of her room with her 2 suitcases in hand. We stayed quite as we watched her walk down the hall. The scene changed from the hall to the staircase before finally the front door. There we all watched her put her hand on the doorknob before hesitating. She turned to look back into the house. It was then we saw a single tear slide down her cheek before she opened the door and was gone.

We were all talking over each other to each other or on our phones asking the night shift if they saw anything or had any idea. I heard Jenson talk a couple times but I ignored him. He didn't really know Mac and when it came right down to it this was all his fault. Right now I had to pretend he wasn't here or I would end up hurting him or end up dead because I attacked my Alpha's son.

"STOP!" Jenson roared. We all stopped in mid motion. "I can help if you all just listen." Once he got our attention he let out a breath. "Thank you. Tony, try to call her. If she answers we can track her," Jenson said.

"How?" I asked. Sorry but I did not trust this kid. He broke that when he started to hurt Mac.

Jenson flinched and was about to put his head down before stopping himself and stood tall. "I switched out her phone about a month ago. If she is close by I would know where she is. If she is more than 10 miles out than she needs to answer the phone for me to locate her. Don't ask why I did it because it doesn't matter but with it we can find her." He was right I was going to ask but now was not the time. If it worked then we would have Mac back soon and hopefully before she stumbled across any of our kind.

"Let me call her," It was Nick who spoke. He had been pretty quiet since we found out Mac was gone. "Tony trust me if she will answer anyone right now it will be me."

"What happened between the two of you? Things have been off since she broke down?" The question has been eating me up. I may have sounded a little more accusing than I meant to but I needed to know.

Nick sighed and ran his fingers throw his hair. "She...she feels guilty over something that she shouldn't be. Let's leave it at that right now. If she wants to tell you she will."

Nick didn't wait for a response, he took his phone out of his back pocket, scrolled his phone then put it up to his ear. We all stayed silent. It was the fourth ring when I thought she wasn't going to answer.

"Nick I can't come back," her voice was like music to my ears. We all seemed to take a breath at the same time when she spoke.

"Well Love you see you have two options. One, get your ass back home now or option 2 I find you and drag you back. So which will it be?" I gave the kid credit, he was keeping his cool and being his usual cocky self.

There was no response. I thought she hung up at first before I heard her breathing. "Nick...I can't. Not after what I almost did to you," her voice was soft, filled with regret.

Nick got pissed. "You did nothing to me and you damn well know that! Get your fucking ass home right now or so help me!" Nick took a deep breath calming himself. "Mac, please. I want you here. Fuck I need you here."

'How can you say that!" I guess it was her turn to yell. "I almost...I attacked you!"

"Fuck! Mac no you didn't. You know why it couldn't happen. I did it for you! Trust me if I wasn't thinking about how you would feel after things would have been different. I am no saint." There was so many emotions flying around I couldn't tell who was feeling what. I also had no clue what the hell they were talking about.

"I know you did it for him. I was weak and didn't care. I am so sorry I did that to you," Mac was speaking soft. She sounded broken.

Nick let out a harsh laugh that just didn't surprise me but also the others. "You think I did that for him? Fuck Mac that was the last thing on my mind and I regret not going through with it after because of him. He deserved to hurt like you did. Trust me if he was on my mind things would have ended up so different but in the end you would have regretted it." Nick was shaking his head and glaring at Jenson. That was when I think I knew what they were talking about. If I was right Nick did the right thing. Sleeping with Nick would have been a mistake. One that she would have regretted because she did it for the wrong reason.

Jenson looked destroyed. I guess he too knew what they were talking about. A second later he snapped out of whatever he was feeling or thinking and stared at his phone before writing something down.

"Listen, Mac don't do this. Come back home. If anything do not do this to Tony of all the people here. Don't leave him." Nick was saying as I walked over to Jenson to see what he was writing.

"Tell him...tell him I love him," her voice caught at the end. "I have to go Nick. I am so sorry." We thought she was about to hang up but we heard another voice but I couldn't catch what was said.

"Jason? What are you doing here?" I heard Mac ask someone. Why did that name ring a bell?

The guy must have been close to her because I could hear what he was saying as Nick put the call on speaker phone. "Hey Mac. I am here to see you actually. There is someone that wants to see you. He is a little upset that you left him before he could get back to you." The kid sounded nervous and my stomach knotted. I had a really bad feeling about this

Mac was quiet as well before she spoke. "Sorry Jason but I am going to be late. Maybe another time." Mac was nervous. I could tell when her voice changed to the monotone voice she used so many other times before when she was hiding what she was feeling. It was either that voice or she would yell.

"He is just sitting at that table there. It will just take a minute," The Jason kid was saying. I wanted to yell to her and say don't but I didn't.

Once again there was nothing, all we heard was the intake of Mac's breathing before two simple words were whispered, "Daddy...how...you died?" The phone went dead after that.

The end of book 1!

This book is edited but it is far from perfect. As you can see I have a terrible time with the past and present terms. One day I may get the hang of it but the more I have to concentrate on when to use seen or saw or had and have it literally sucks all the creative juices out of my system.

Thank you for your support!

Heidi