By the time she layered up in clothes appropriate for a bit of a hike and gotten her shoes on, Rebecca was feeling better enough — and still unhappy enough — to lift her arms out while sitting on the edge of the bed, nonverbally asking for a hug. Sam naturally obliged, and cradled Rebecca's head against her chest while stroking her hair.

Rebecca focused on the sounds of Sam's heartbeat and breathing beneath her ear. There was a little tickle of agitation in a corner of her mind, but she carefully fought it by focusing on what it had felt being in her arms just a few hours earlier, before breakfast and the drama that had followed it. That let her blissfully lose herself in the warmth, soaking up enough of their trademark comfort to convince herself she could walk out the door.

She paused as they were about to exit the bedroom, looking at all their hardware on the table. "Mom and Walt insist it's safe up here, but... I still feel like we shouldn't walk around entirely defenseless."

Sam followed her eyes. "We really pack a lot of heat, don't we. I'm surprised your mom hasn't said something." All of their guns were arrayed on the table, along with the hamster ball of electric doom, their helmets, and night vision goggles. Their armor sat on top of the dresser nearby.

"Give her time. Trust me, she's holding back. There's plenty of 'oh my god why do you have all this' and 'I can't believe what you've been through and I'm simultaneously dying and terrified to know it all' going on." Rebecca thought back to all the times she'd brought up a boy she liked, including the trip to the grocery store where Laura had been careful about what questions she asked about Jaime in public. "I'm just glad she's always been good about timing."

They settled on taking their mid-sized first aid kits, day packs, radios, and the Tavor loaded with one big mag and Sam's SMG with two extras. Her mother made a face at the sight of Rebecca re-attaching the laser sight and trueing it up against the aim point on the holosight on top, but Rebecca could also read the "well it could be worse" conclusion in her expression. It wasn't really all that much to carry, only ten pounds fully loaded. It slung comfortably over her back while they set their packs on the island for Laura to load with the food she'd cobbled together from the combined food supplies. Meanwhile, it was definitely nice to be walking around with nothing heavier than some warm clothes encasing her torso.

Christine and Patrick were sitting on the couch, looking contrite. Rebecca greeted them, Chrissie smiled, and Patrick stood to address her.

"Hey, your mom told us a little about what happened. I'm sorry about it."

Rebecca thought back to her own apology to Sam a bit ago, and how important it felt to have it accepted and validated. "Thanks. I know it was an accident, and I'm doing better now."

"We'll be careful about noises and stuff from now on, I promise. I know it must really suck for you not knowing what might set you off out of the blue."

"Oh, absofuckinglutely. I appreciate you being careful, but—" Rebecca glanced at Chrissie too. "Don't make too huge of a thing about it, that'll just make it be on my mind all the time, which—"

"Is the opposite of what you need," Chrissie finished for her.

"Exactly."

"Well," Patrick said. "Doug's out with your uncle looking at his truck right now, which seems like it'll keep 'em busy for a bit. We'll wait until you get some distance in before starting the saw up again. And, I'll try to steal an electric one when we get back to town."

"I didn't know they made those. But now I get to worry about stealthy hillbilly psychos, so thanks."

"Seems they should be more worried about you." Patrick inclined his head towards her and glanced pointedly at her gun's sling strap.

Rebecca chuckled and shrugged her pack on when Sam held it out to her. Laura was carrying a sling bag too, complete with a rolled up towel strapped to the exterior, which Sam nodded towards.

"Hey, we'll know where our towel is, we'll be fine."

"Nerd."

Sam just replied with her trademark "you know you love me" smirk. Rebecca sighed... and failed at suppressing a smile, dammit.

She waved to Epstein and Walt on the way down the steps, and paused to chat while her mother talked to Walt about where they were headed. "Hey, Lance. You just find something to tinker with wherever you go, huh?"

He shrugged. "It's job security, I guess. Can't get laid off even with an injury. Poking around with this should be pretty fun anyway. My first car was an old Blazer so we're comparing notes, maybe indulging in a little friendly competition."

Rebecca shook her head. "Making the old guy feel like his car is cool. I bet that makes him happy." She gestured over her shoulder. "Do not get into some kind of mud race with him in our rides, even if you can fix them one-handed."

Epstein chuckled and waved to Sam as they turned away. Laura rejoined them at the top of the footpath near her car with a smile, and they started down the steps. Only a few hundred yards into their walk, Rebecca looked around at the woods surrounding them, wondering if she was going to expect a lurking threat behind every tree. Fortunately, the only movement she registered was a breeze swaying the tree limbs, sending birds chirping from one to the next.

Maybe Mom was right, some outside time would do her some good. It was definitely a drastic change of scenery from underground tunnels and half-finished condominiums. She even found herself reaching out her fingers to brush Sam's and snare them in a handhold for a while, until Laura led them onto a stretch of narrower trail. Laura proceeded delicately with her inevitable backlog of questions, starting off with safe-seeming inquiries about how the two of them had met and when the sparks first began to fly.

Her phrasing sent Sam into paroxysms of laughter that took minutes to recover from, and Rebecca just waited them out to let her have the joy of explaining the nickname. Sam made the gentle mockery up to Rebecca when Laura wasn't looking with a kiss behind her ear that sent tingles down both of her arms.

Rebecca seriously debated a remark about Sam keeping her blood going when Laura saw her shiver afterwards and admonished her for not wearing enough layers. But she bit it back, glared surreptitiously at Sam and her barely contained giggle, and delved into an explanation of why she'd referred to Sam as Rosie. That inevitably led to being stuck, standing still on the trail, while her mother examined her necklace.

She was pretty sure Laura's abrupt pivot back to the path ahead of them was to hide her watering eyes after hearing about Jaime pressing the medallion into her hand as she held him. Rebecca wondered if that dredged up memories of her father's passing for her mother. She'd been at school herself, and was pulled out of class when the news came. Her mind drifted from that to the way Sam also learned about her mother after the fact, and found herself reaching for her hand again.

**

Rebecca inquired about how Sam was doing while they stood shin-deep in the pond's edge, skipping stones across the water while Laura sat on a log, watching over the packs; alternating her gaze between the two of them, the surrounding meadow and trees, and skeptically eyeing the firearms leaning against the log next to her.

Sam shrugged after Rebecca clarified she wasn't just asking about the morning's "kerfuffle". "Eh. I'm still standing? I knew it was a strong possibility."

Something about her tone and sigh hooked Rebecca's attention. "It's okay to wish it was the other way around, her there and him gone. And I'll punch anyone who says otherwise."

Sam raised an eyebrow and quipped a little too quickly, a little harshly. "Even if it's me?"

After a pause, and seeing the expression on Rebecca's face, she apologized. "Sorry. That was unfair and unkind. I guess I'm just used to being the one in your head, not the other way around."

"It's okay. Sensitive territory."

Sam scoffed and chucked a stone with more power than finesse. "What isn't these days."

"Decent point."

Rebecca noticed Sam start to look back towards Laura, but stop herself. "I'm not jealous, in the 'negative emotions directed at you' sort of way, but... I do envy you."

Rebecca mulled how to answer that. It took a few seconds to decide she'd probably just screw it up anyway, so to just go for it. "I don't blame you. I hope I'm being considerate, even with this morning's bullshit."

Sam threw another stone, completely on an uneven vector so it simply knifed into the surface of the pond. "I see it. You know what the fucked up part is? Yes, I miss my mom. Obviously. Not that I need to explain grief to you."

"Again, after you walked me through key stages last year."

Rebecca felt bad for interrupting Sam; for once, shelooked irritated at a good jest and her tone was dry.  "Right." Sam studied the next rock from her pocket, rolling it between her fingers contemplatively. "I get that I'm seeing the best of her right now, but I think I envy past-you too. She's just... better. Happier. Warmer."

Rebecca hadn't been expecting this at all and remained silent, hoping her worried frown conveyed enough support. This was a lot to unpack and she was still re-solidifying her own emotions after the panic episode.

Sam sighed. "I know my mom probably did the best she knew how. Not that my dad was the most supportive, or empathetic partner or anything." She fell silent, still not having thrown the rock in her hand. Rebecca heard her sniff and saw her rub her sleeve across her eyes.

"I mean, we had our moments too. I think having to raise me on her own pushed use closer together. Please let me know if I can make it easier— less hard somehow, okay?"

"Yeah," Sam said quietly. "I know you want to help."

"God yes, especially after how long you stuck by me and were so patient as I was getting on my feet after Jaime. Plus, I feel bad about how my own new shit is taking time away from you."

Sam flicked the rock away out of her fingers with a plunk. "Oh, don't you start down that road, because it runs straight into my own guilt about hurting you."

"Okay."

Sam patted her pocket and dropped her hand with disappointment. Evidently that had been her last rock, so Rebecca held out one of her last three as a peace offering. "Here. Not the kind of rock I'd stereotypically be giving you, but given the world we live in now..."

Sam let out a short, small laugh that wasn't much more than a sharp exhalation. "Well, I'm still touched you shared." She looked around at the water around them. "You know, I expected to be having a conversation like this on the porch, or in front of the fireplace. Not standing in a pond."

"Things never quite seem to work out how we expect, do they?"

"Shit, talk about the world we live in now." Sam looked down at the smooth grey stone Rebecca had given her — not much more than a large pebble. "I think I'll keep this one."

Rebecca chuckled, and was surprised by how touched she was. "Well, here, I have two more. I know how cheesy it sounds, but let's chuck them both as far as we can and let them take all our guilt and stress with 'em, huh?"

Sam rolled her shoulder in a dramatic stretch. "Now that's some motivation."

**

Laura watched from shore as her daughter and her daughter's girlfriend talked. Daughter's girlfriend. Having Rebecca back was enough of a mind bender, her being with Sam took a little more getting used to on top of that. But hey, sure, they seemed happy together. Mostly. Small snatches of their conversation reached her ears, and their body language definitely looked like they were hashing something out.

That was fair enough, they certainly had plenty on their plates to process, and she was only beginning to scratch the surface of learning what all of that entailed. A bunch of it had been on their quest to find her, too. Her guilt about the impact that would have on their relationship was somewhat mollified by seeing how well they seemed to communicate. It made her feel a flush of parental pride in how well Rebecca had turned out, especially when Sam checked her pockets for more of the rocks they'd been tossing. Apparently she discovered she was out, only to have Rebecca pass one over.

She always was the share-her-halloween-candy (despite Laura's urging to barter for the good stuff), say-hi-to-the-new-kid big softhearted type.

And now she was a killer.

Not a murderer, but still a killer. It was a huge revelation to come to terms with as a mother. She'd never expected Rebecca to go into law enforcement or become a soldier, and was frankly damned glad she didn't given how atrocious the casualties in those two professions must have been, along with medical personnel. But her little girl had killed at least one person, up close, and there were certainly implications of more given some of the stories they'd told.

And the equipment they carried. She looked down at the weird guns they'd left next to her after a brief explanation of how to use one. She'd reacted with disbelief of the notion she might have to defend herself before they got back to shore, but Rebecca seemed so insistent Laura just went with it, not even protesting once.

That didn't mean she was scared of her own daughter, did it? Nah, that was BS. Rebecca would never hurt her.

Laura turned that idea over in her head a few times, contemplating it. She may have been "just" the manager of a mid-sized grocery store on outer suburban fringes, not having taken the psychology classes Rebecca had, but that was obviously why Rebecca's injuries had been so deeply traumatic for her. Sam was probably her rock up until a week ago. That was going near the top of the to-have-a-mother-daughter-talk-about pile. All the things she was desperate to find out more about, but had to balance against overwhelming or driving away her daughter.

It was a big ass pile.