They did a loop outside to let Rufus get some mileage in, shoes crunching through frost rime that lingered on the swaths of ground still shaded by the building. Soon, their path led through the agricultural projects on the south side of the building.

The bucket loader / backhoe hadn't just helped with fortifications. It had dramatic benefit on the construction of planting space. They could fill a pickup truck with fertile soil in just a scoop or two, and they'd just brought a load back from a golf course last week. It looked to Rebecca like that had added another three planting beds. Come spring, everyone was eager to see what they could grow with all the new space.

The plastic bags they'd draped over their small initial collection of fruit trees were still intact, and the first few weeds were starting to sprout in the fresh dirt. Rebecca briefly pondered how tending the garden from weeds to curated crops was a good representation of mindfully developing little disparate pockets of survivors into a cooperative network of settlements. She especially liked comparing mutually beneficial trade arrangements to planting symbiotic crops together — something about one kind of plant enriching the soil nitrogen that made another flourish, or pest repellent herbs mixed with vulnerable vegetables? There was a chapter in one of Allie's books that covered that technique, and they were eager to see if it boosted their yields.

Lurking anniversary dread started to bubble something else up to the surface though, something about Sam she worried over from time to time. When their little walk-around reached the interior battery banks, she thought it might give them a little privacy. Nobody really came around where they'd moved the solar array's power storage to for winter, leveraging Sam's wiring expertise to get the batteries indoors away from the cold. But, the petite engineer liked to periodically walk through the rows and shelves, checking for any leaking batteries, loose clamps, or signs of overheated wiring. She knew any little thing might reduce efficiency or cause a disaster.

Rebecca waited by a window for Sam to finish the bank she was inspecting, removing one glove to scritch the top of Rufus' head idly. Sam must have realized something was on her mind, because she came over to lean against the same windowsill and tilted her head at Rebecca, bumping their shoulders together.

"Hey you. Penny?" Sam had been letting her hair grow for a bit, and it was peeking out of her knit beanie again, hanging lopsidedly past her chin while she looked at Rebecca inquiringly. Rebecca smiled at the little piece of relationship shorthand they'd developed, mentally autocompleting the implied "for your thoughts".

"Hi you. The way you supported me at Allie's was really nice, thank you. You're always there for me, it seems."

Sam, or "Rosie" as Rebecca thought of her when they were having quiet, close moments like this, smiled. "Of course, you know I always am. But I can tell I'm going to get a nickel's worth this time, what's up?"

"I was just thinking..."

"Uh-oh..." Sam smiled at her with a gentle teasing tone to her voice.

"Yeah, I know. Kinda dangerous, right? But... I was thinking how you always ARE here for me, and, I dunno. I just started to worry a bit that it might be lopsided. Especially now that we've been together long enough to be moving from twitterpation and the honeymoon phase into a committed, solid relationship. Like, you're always making sure I'm okay in so many ways, taking good care of me. But do I do enough back? Do I reciprocate enough? I know you care about me and enjoy being with me, but... I worry what you get out of 'us', if it's enough."

Sam shook her head a little, smile still there, but more thoughtful now. "Oh, Remy. You always answer your own questions when we have talks like this, you just never see it right away." Her lips pinched sideways in a motion Rebecca had learned to recognize in the last few months. It was the expression Sam made when assembling free-floating thoughts into a coherent sentence, so she waited patiently without growing nervous about the brief silence, for once. Five or six seconds later, Sam continued.

"Even just you asking about that, being concerned about my side of things, is a good example. Remember what I told you early on, after that wonderful first little smooch washing Rufus. Your big beautiful heart is still so full of love even after the hurt of everything you've been through. You care, in the face of the fucking end of civilization, babe. Your empathy. Your concern for others. It's too easy to go every-jackass-for-themself these days, and you are everything that stands against that. Not just by way of force and arms, but by the way you live your life day to day. That's what I want in my life, dear." Sam linked her hands gently behind Rebecca's neck in a loose embrace, and kissed her lightly before leaning back to finish talking. "Especially these days. That's what I get out of being with you. Staying close to that. And that's why I'm so protective of you, too. Not just because I care about you and don't want you to get hurt. Because I'm also protecting the little candle flame of light and good and hope I'm so lucky to have close to me."

Rebecca's anxiety melted away in the face of all that, even if she still struggled to think of herself the way Sam apparently did. She wrapped her arms around Sam's waist. "Oh, Rosie."

"I know, I'm wonderful. All just because I try to convince you that you are, apparently. I see you looking for the kind of hope you give me outside of yourself all the time." That, Rebecca could acknowledge readily. "I just hope that someday, the biggest gift I think I could give you, is helping you get to the point that your own little internal light is windproof, self sustaining. Like a little fusion reactor. Until then, I'm just going to keep bombarding you with megajoule lasers and just keep trying to squish all those little fragmented parts of you into one coherent whole, hoping you reach ignition and go exothermic."

Rebecca shook her head with an amused grin. "I have no idea what you just said, Rosie. But I think I get the point."

"Good." Sam kissed her on the tip of her nose, and nodded out the window behind Rebecca. "Because I think our friends are here. Just remember, good relationships aren't transactional. I don't have to receive every time I give. Wait, that..."

"Phrasing, dear." Rebecca give her a naughty little smirk and eyebrow quirk.

"Yeah, yeah. I know. That was awkwardly said. But, I'm good with us. I promise you. But come on, let's go see the gang, huh?" Sam took Rebecca's hand in hers, but didn't just tow her away. Rebecca realized she was waiting compassionately for her to confirm they'd covered what she needed to.

"Yeah, okay." She squeezed Sam's hand affectionately, and pushed away from the wall. "Thank you, Sam."

Samantha hugged Rebecca's arm as they started to walk. "Of course." When she patted her own leg to encourage Rufus to come with them, he sprung up and trotted along. "I hope the lovebirds are ready for Dogzilla's enthusiasm at their return."

Rebecca held open a heavy metal fire door for her and Rufus. "You know they probably call us that, right?"

Sam shrugged on her way by into the colder hallway, and blew a puff of steam into the air. "Speaking of exothermic." She pulled her hat down over her ears, and made a point of huddling up against Rebecca for a few steps. "I also stick around so I can steal your body heat. Brrr!"