"I'm sorry," Loki whispers breathlessly. He crawls backwards, his gaze never leaving the being in front of him. He doesn't know why he bothers. He's merely delaying the inevitable, and they both know it.

"Poor Loki," the Other drawls, following Loki's every panicked step with ease. "Nowhere left to run; nobody left to hide behind. You're all..." He stomps on Loki's arm, crushing it into the ground. "Alone."

Loki cries out in pain, throwing his head back involuntarily. "I'm sorry," he whispers. "I'm so, so sorry. Please don't hurt me."

"Oh, I won't hurt you," the Other says. "I cannot say the same for Thanos."

Loki bolts upright in bed and sucks in a sharp breath. He slaps a hand over his heart, and it pounds against his chest with rapid, deafening thuds.

"Just a dream," Loki whispers. It was just a dream.

He tries to take a deep, calming breath, but when he lets it out, it comes out a sob. He reaches for his pillow and hugs it to his chest, burying his face in it to silence himself. The Bartons didn't know just how damaged a man they were letting in their house when Clint gave him the invitation. He doesn't want to bother them with an answer they never wanted.

Loki closes his eyes and a tear slips down his face, making a home atop the pillow in his arms. He chokes out another sob, but even muffled by the pillow, it seems to ring out in the silence of his room. He squeezes his eyes shut tighter, giving his tears no room to fall. It doesn't help. His eyes flutter open just slightly with his next sob, and the tears waste no time in coming out.

Why now? Why here, in the comfort of the Bartons' house? This was supposed to be a good night. This was supposed to be his one night of reprieve, where the monsters couldn't catch up with him. All he wanted was one night of peace; just one night to pretend he's not the broken shell of a god he once was. The world couldn't even afford him that.

Knock knock.

Before Loki can even process that, his door cracks open. Loki instinctively wipes his eyes with the back of his hand. Between the darkness of the room and the tears filling his eyes, he can't make out the face poking in until he hears the quiet voice coming from it.

"Loki?" Lila asks quietly. "Are you okay?"

Loki sniffles and forces himself to nod. "I'm fine," he says, his voice barely a whisper. Any louder and he knows it would break.

Lila just looks at him for a few seconds, then quietly closes the door.

Loki takes a deep breath, doing his best to calm him down. It helps a little. He lets go of his pillow, and his hands shake in front of him. He carefully plants them on the mattress and pushes himself back until he's leaning against the wall. He wraps his arms around the pillow again, but this time, he lets his head fall back. He closes his eyes, letting another tear fall. He doesn't care anymore. He just doesn't care.

The door opens again, and he looks up to see that Lila has returned. She slowly walks up to him, and Loki puts his pillow aside and crosses his legs on the bed in front of him. As she comes closer, he can faintly make out a shadow in her hands, though he can't tell exactly what it is.

"Are you sad?" Lila asks quietly.

Loki hesitates, but, unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be a point in lying, so he gives a small nod. "A little bit."

"You know what always helps me when I'm sad?" she asks.

"Hm?" Loki hums.

"Mr. Snuffles." She holds out the object in her arms, and Loki takes it cautiously. It's a stuffed bear, he realizes, and a fairly decent sized one at that. "I got him when I was really little and he always makes me feel better."

Loki looks down at the teddy bear in his hands, then raises his gaze to her face again. "Thank you." He doesn't really understand it, but...

"Give him a hug," Lila says.

Loki doesn't really want to give this raggedy bear a hug, but he'd hate to disappoint Lila more, so, reluctantly, he brings Mr. Snuffles to his chest and gives it a hug. To his surprise, it actually does make him feel a little bit better. It's like hugging a pillow, but it's smaller and has more personality.

"Do you feel better?" Lila asks.

Loki nods. He loosens his hold on the teddy bear and holds it out to her. "Thank you."

She gently pushes the bear back towards him. "You can keep him for tonight. I think you need him more than I do."

Loki sniffles and wipes his eyes. "I appreciate that," he tells her quietly.

She gives him a small smile. "I'm gonna go back to bed."

"That's a good idea," Loki agrees.

"Goodnight, Loki."

"Goodnight, Lila."

Lila turns and walks towards the door, and Loki hugs Mr. Snuffles again, squeezing it tight. He squeezes his eyes shut, and, despite his best efforts, he can't fight back another sob. He hopes Lila doesn't notice. He's sure she does.

The soft squeak of the hinges says the door is closed. He can't overstate how relieving that is. He doesn't have to hold it together again. He's already ruined his night. He might as well let it all out; break himself apart so he can pick himself back up in the morning. He has to hope that by then, he can put on a convincing display of being okay. He's not sure what he'll do if he can't.

Loki pulls his legs up on the bed, separated from his chest only by the stuffed bear in his hands. His sobs don't subside, and each breath becomes quicker and harsher than the one before. He drops his head back, looking up at the ceiling helplessly. He's not okay. He's so far from okay right now. He can't keep doing this. He'd thought for sure that this wouldn't last; that he'd be back to his normal self within a month of escaping that horrid prison. But it's been months. He never would have thought his sleep would still be haunted with nightmares of his past three or four times a week. And he just can't do it anymore.

But how does he make it stop?

A small voice in the back of his head tells him he already knows. He's tried it before. He fell from the Bifrost for a reason, after all, and it wasn't to explore the horrors that live among the stars. But he pushes the thought aside. He doesn't want to go there. He does, but he doesn't. He'll know better in the morning. He'll realize how ridiculous a thought that was when he wakes up. He hopes.

There's another quiet knocking on the door. Loki doesn't trust himself to respond. He squeezes Mr. Snuggles tight and takes a deep breath. Focusing all his energy on his exhale, he manages to do so almost silently. It sets a good precedent for his next breath, smaller but just as soft. It should be enough to fool Lila into thinking he's okay – or, at the very least, that he's no worse than he was a few minutes earlier.

But when he hears his name from the other side of the door, it's not Lila's voice that says it; it's Clint's.

Great.

When Clint doesn't get an answer from him, he slowly opens the door and pokes his head in, much like Lila did only a few minutes prior. Like father, like daughter, apparently. It's too dark to make out his expression from this distance, which he hopes means that Clint can't make out his, either.

"Loki?" Clint says quietly. "Are you okay?"

Loki sniffles, absolutely blowing his very flimsy cover wide open. "I'm fine."

Clint sighs and pushes the door open a little wider. "You're not fine, are you?"

Loki bites his lip and remains silent.

Clint steps in the room and begins to close the door behind him, but he stops when the room grows too dark. "Mind if I turn on a light?"

"Please don't," Loki says quietly. He doesn't want to illuminate his shame.

"Okay," Clint says, leaving that as it is. He leaves the door open so the faint hallway light can still come in. He comes a bit closer, but not too close. Not close enough to make Loki more uncomfortable than he has to be. "Lila told me you were sad."

Of course she did.

"I'm sorry," Loki whispers. He doesn't trust himself to speak any louder. "I didn't think she would wake you up."

"No, Loki, it's fine," Clint says. "Don't even worry about it."

Loki just nods. He's glad Clint isn't upset, but it doesn't make him feel much better about it. Clint did him a big favor by letting him stay the night, and this is how Loki repays him? By waking both him and his daughter up in the middle of the night?

"What's going on?" Clint asks gently.

"Nothing," Loki says quietly. "It's nothing."

"Lila doesn't give out Mr. Snuffles for 'nothing.'"

Loki looks down at the teddy bear in his arms. He hugs it a little bit tighter. Clint's right: it's pretty obvious that there's something wrong, and he doesn't seem to be in any rush to leave before he finds out what it is. Why bother delaying the inevitable?

"I just..." Loki swallows hard. "I've lost everything. And I'm still trying to grapple with that, to grieve the life I'll never get back, but sometimes it's just too much. Between the memories I wish I could have back and the ones I'd give anything to forget, the monsters in my head..."

Clint lets out a long breath. He sits down on the edge of Loki's bed and looks over at him sympathetically. Loki can't bring himself to meet his gaze.

"I'm sorry," Clint says. "And I wish I had more to say, but I don't. I can't imagine what you've been through. From what you've told me, I think it would've broken anybody else."

"I certainly didn't emerge unscathed," Loki mutters. Not in the slightest.

"But you didn't let it break you," Clint says. "You came out the other side with a good heart. You have every reason to be angry and bitter, and instead you're making Lila a princess and showing Cooper around the universe. And I think that's incredible, that you're still a genuinely good, kind person even after everything you've been through. And I'm proud of you for that."

Loki looks over at him, and another tear slips down his face. He gives the archer a small smile. "Is this how it feels to have a warm and loving father figure?"

Clint exhales sharply, a soft laugh of a sort. "Hey, if you want a new dad, I'm happy to take up the mantle. What's one more kid to add to the bunch, right?"

Loki's shoulders shake with silent laughter. "I am a great deal older than you."

"Eh." Clint waves that away. "Age is just a number."

Loki shakes his head to himself, a fond smile on his lips. "Thank you," he says. "For all of this. It means more than I can say."

"Of course," Clint says. "You wanna try to go back to sleep now, or...?"

As much as Loki appreciates the open-endedness of the question, he concedes that he probably should go back to sleep. He'll have to sleep eventually; he might as well do it while he has a bed to sleep in.

"Okay," Clint says. He pats Loki on the back a few times before he stands up. "You know you can help yourself to anything in the house, and I'm right down the hall if you need me, okay?"

"You know," Loki says, "I was not really asking you to play the part of a father."

"Don't think of it as me trying to be your dad," Clint says. "Think of it as me being your concerned friend."

Friend.

Loki hasn't had one of those in a long time.

Sometimes he questions whether he ever had one at all.

He sniffles and finally meets Clint's gaze. "Thank you."

"Any time," Clint says. "Now go back to sleep. I think you'll feel better in the morning."