Q: What was the most memorable or funny moment during Mina's Pregnancy? (Asked by nimrahkhan18)

MINA:

Do you mean before, or after he freaked out about it?

SHEHZER:

Baby. We agreed to never talk about "That time" ever again. *grimaces guiltily* I feel like a total douche, whenever I think about it.

EMV: 

*Smirks* Good going sister. He looks so guilty, he can totally be shamed into doing tonight's dishes. And if you're feeling adventurous, maybe even a back massage...

MINA:

During that time, with my emotions all over the place, and my body changing too fast for me to process, it didn't seem too funny or memorable, but in hindsight, I think the week before I had Inaya was the most poignant of them all. 

I was so heavy by that time, I couldn't even walk around without holding onto my back for support. My baby bump entered rooms, several time-zones before the rest of me. To top it off, my feet had swollen up so much, that none of my heels, and regular shoes fit me anymore. Hell, even my socks wouldn't fit me anymore! Shehzer actually got me these huge-ass jumbo socks that Simba could have slept inside in...

I've never been petite in my life, but nor have I been this ridiculous looking! I had actually stopped looking at myself in the mirrors. It hurt to look into my closet and realize that I'd never be able to fit into my favorite cigarette pants....

I COULDN'T EVEN SEE MY TOES PEOPLE! NOT COOL I TELL YOU. NOT. COOL.

The worst part was; Shehzer loved seeing me like that. 

Worst than worst part was; I didn't believe him. 

Anyways, a month before my due date, we were invited to a birthday party. Shehzer's friend Umair's son was turning three or something. Most of Shehzer's close friends, and colleagues were invited. I was tired of being cooped up inside, and I really wanted to go out, but I also didn't want to show up looking like a cow, at a party full of smart-looking females. 

"Shamu, you don't have to go. You'll get tired of putting your feet down. And I know you don't like Chinese food at the moment. I think Zubya (Umair's wife) is making Chinese today." Shehzer said to me as he ironed out his polo shirt. 

I have no idea why, but he started calling me Shamu since a few weeks. It started when I wore my new black and white maternity gown for the first time...

I was actually, feeling relieved after hearing his rationale. Not that I'd ever tell him that. Going to a party means; getting ready for it. Getting ready for it means; looking at myself in the mirror, and internally cry with frustration. I frowned at him instead, "Are you embarrassed by me now?", it's so easy to blame all my issues on him. 

He turns around horrified, "Of course not, love! I just think you should rest your feet after all those workouts you did today." 

Well, my feet did hurt...

"Is Saleena going to be there?" I sniffed moodily. I hate her even more now, if that's possible... Perfect hair. Perfect THIN body. I bet her ankles aren't the size of Alaska...I bet she doesn't have to pee every five seconds.

"I doubt it. She's working night-shifts at Johns Hopkins." He shrugged disinterestedly. 

"That's a fancy name for a strip club..." I mumbled under my breath. 

"SHAMU!?" My husband looked half ready to laugh, and half ready to scold me. 

"Whatever. Go without me. I hope you have a miserable time, and I hope the food sucks. Also, I sincerely hope the dessert runs out before you get to it." I announced angrily before slamming myself shut in our room. It took a few minutes for the irrational anger to cool down, and for guilt to settle in. 

"Look what you made me do, Bean." I sighed sadly to myself. Patting my huge belly. "I'm missing parties now. You better be worth it kiddo. I'm not giving up free food for just anyone..."

My bean kicked back. 

This is how most of our conversations go. I chatter with him about the most inane things, and I get an occasional kick now and then. It's like the pre-natal equivalent of a "K." text. 

I don't know why, I randomly decide to search the word "Shamu" on google. 

"Shamu was a captive killer whale which appeared in shows at SeaWorld San Diego in the mid–late 1960s..."

I lost it then. 

I started crying. 

I was hugging my bean, and bawling my eyes out. 

"Mina, have you seen my--" Shehzer stuck his head inside the room only to have his jaw dropped in horror. 

"SHAMU!? REALLY? SHAMU?" I screeched tearfully. 

"Baby, what---?" 

"I know I look d-disgusting Shehzer! And I know that people must laugh when they see us together, but D-DAMMIT YOU HAVE BEEN CALLING ME AFTER A W-WHALE!" I paused to catch my breath. gasping with the tears. "I want to g-go back to being NOT PREGNANT. I want to see my t-toooeesss!" 

To his credit, he didn't laugh at my meltdown. 

He just gathered me in his arms, despite my weak attempts to punch him, and held me until I had sobbed most of the anger out of my system. 

"I think it's too late to make you Not pregnant, love." He chuckled as I sniffled through the stray tears. "I'm sorry if you took it the wrong way...but I just loved Shamu shows as a kid. The whale had moves! Absolutely adorable!"

"Please stop talking." I growled. "No woman wants to hear her husband nickname her after a killer whale. Even if she knows that she looks fat and ugly."

"You're beautiful love! How on earth did this crazy idea get into your head? Don't I always tell you how much I love your body?" He started nuzzling my neck, his hands sweeping downwards to stroke my stomach. "Don't I show it to you enough? I thought actions spoke louder than words..."

I bit my lip. 

Maybe it's not his opinions I'm worried about...It's mine. I just can't accept that I can look beautiful with a few extra pounds. I'm not ready to give up my old body. In my mind, I can't see how Shehzer would find me attractive anymore. And not just now, but what about afterwards? Stretch marks? Saggy breasts? Permanently huge butt? Not everyone can give birth and look like Princess Kate...

"I love seeing you like this." He whispered in my ear, before leaning down to kiss me. "It's like you're wearing a huge sign that says, 'Property of Shehzer Humayun Khan'. I don't know how, or how often I have to tell you that I'll always be insane about you, before you start believing me...but I'm gonna keep trying until we get there." 

  And he did try. Very well actually.   

My fingers fisted in his hair, as I kissed him right back. Every few minutes, he'd stop and tell me how much he liked my new body. My glowing face. My curves. My fat ankles. Me. 

"You'll always be beautiful...but you're not going to be beautiful like this, forever. Let's just enjoy it while it lasts....or until we arrange for a sibling for bean of course..." He grinned wickedly, ducking to avoid my pinching fingers. 

"Can I get pregnant, during my pregnancy?" I snickered lazily, an hour later. "It'll be like Inception. Baby-ception?" 

Shehzer was running around searching for a new shirt to wear to the party.

"I dunno Sham-Err-Minnie. I don't think I'm quite that talented..." He smirked with satisfaction, at my peaceful smile. "Hey, why don't you come along? We'll leave early, if you start feeling too fatigued. Hmm?" 

A dozen different excuses ran through my head. But then I made up my mind. If I was going to start accepting my body...it might as well be at a public place with the possibility of running into my husband's goddess-like Ex...

SHEHZER:

Women. I swear...*shakes head*

Author's Note:

Well...this was fun for me! XD I feel like I didn't have the time to explore the good bits of this time in the full length novel. Shehzer was being an idiot for the most part of it...