A day in the life of: INAYAH MINA KHAN (Aged 18 months)

"Who is Mommy's cutie wootie?" I just stare curiously at the silly faces she's making at me. What exactly is "wootie"?
I screech when she grabs me for a completely unnecessary kiss. Absolutely no sense of personal space with this one!

When she tries to slyly feed me my peas, I draw the line.
"Bad Mina!" I yell at her, squirming out of reach, while tethered helplessly to this godforsaken evil invention they call a baby seat. She gasps at my words, pretending to cry.

"Ina! You didn't just say that!" She pouts dramatically at me, "Say Mommy. Or Ma!"

I glare at her "M-I-N-A! Mina Mina Mina."
I hate peas, and she knows it. How difficult is it to understand baby speak? I spit it out as soon as she plops it in. GET A CLUE, LADY!

She sighs defeatedly, and unsnaps me from my prison. Free at last! Hallelujah!

I'm not sure if I have introduced myself. I am Inayah Mina Khan. Daddy named me Inayah (Blessing/gift of Allah) because he says I'm his special surprise gift. Daddy also wanted me to have something of Mom in my name, hence the middle name.

I am slightly tall for my age (Or so my Dadi (Paternal Grandma) likes to brag to her friends). I have springy brown curls that my Dad refuses to cut because he says I got them from Mom. I have huge brown eyes, and thick eyelashes. My Mom says they are puppy dog eyes. I only have to tilt my head, and let a couple of tears fall, to make anyone my slave.

As soon as I'm free from The Prison, I run to Daddy, who's watching a football match. I need to complain to him before Mina butts in.

"Da! MINNA PEA, BAD!" I let out a stream of adjectives to describe my loathing for this food. He picks me up and keeps nodding his head like he understands.

"Ahaan. I hear you honey." He kisses my head, just as Mina walks in, the cursed peas in her hands. She scowls when she sees that I've beaten her to it. "BAAD!" I screech, pointing at her.

"She won't stop calling me Mina! This is ridiculous. Also, you feed her dinner, your daughter is impossible." She hands the bowl to Daddy.

Daddy peeks into the bowl, and both of us make identical faces at the green mush.

"Atleast she's not calling you Love anymore...that was awkward!" Dad reminds her of the time I started copying him. "And does she have to eat this sh-stuff? The princess hates peas. What can we do?"

"She needs to eat something Shehzer! The last full meal she had was crayons!"
I perk up at the word. I LOVE crayons! I love to draw all over...everything. And the best part is, that they are perfectly edible. I don't know why these two humans get so upset when I eat it.

"INNA WANT CRAY CRAY!" I announce to both of them. I'm not too upset though, I have found several alternatives for crayons; Mommy's lipsticks for one. I was so happy with my last art project, I drew all over her ugly brown coat. It looked so pretty with the red squiggles...Mommy was so happy she cried over it.

My Nani (Maternal Grandma) says Mommy used to draw all over walls and floors when she was my age. Nani says I'm Karma.

Daddy tries with the peas again.

"Here, princess. Look at the airplane!" He makes goofy faces, waving the disgusting thing near my face. I keep twisting away but he doesn't let it go. I think he's not getting the message clearly enough...
I open my mouth, letting him deposit a spoonful of gross greenery inside. I let it sit there, quietly observing his whoop of victory.

"Wohoo! That's my girl! See Mina? This is how you fe- HOLY SHIT!"

I gurgle playfully after spitting the peas all over his face. "SHIT! Daddy SHIT!"

"YA ALLAH! SHEHZER! how many times have we discussed this? Don't swear in front of her! She refuses to call me Mom, but she picks up swear words like a sailor!" Mommy yells, wiping Dad's face with my bib, "I think I need a swear jar too."

The doorbell rings just as Mommy finishes mopping up my handiwork. I totter towards the door. Maybe it's Auntie Georgie. She's the best! She and Auntie Adiba have competitions over who my favorite is. For my birthday, both of them got me "I HAVE THE COOLEST AUNT" Towels and Onesies. It's cute, the effort...

Auntie George met Uncle Zayer soon after I was born. I think she loves him. He is funny, and he gives the best piggy-back rides, so she has my approval.

I miss Auntie Adiba and Ali Mamoo (Uncle). I saw them a few months ago when we went to Pakistan. They treated me well in that house! Mommy should have taken notes, but instead she complained that I was being "Spoiled rotten" by my Nana and Nani. As if!

I also met Uncle Areeb. Daddy doesn't like him, and he made Mommy cry, but he gave me a ride in his wheelchair, so he's cool too, I suppose.

I'm deathly scared of Kulsoom Nani. Seriously. If I need to nap, or eat my peas, simply mentioning her name does the trick for me. She's Mommy's secret weapon. Whenever she visits us, she gives me meanie glares. I don't know why though. I only broke her glasses twice. And threw up on her once....and I may have had a leaky diaper when she picked me up...

Mom's trying to potty train me. I used to make her cry with my poo schedule. As soon as she'd put on fresh diapers on me, I'd do my business immediately.
"She's your daughter. You clean her!" She'd hand me over to Daddy.

"Sure, she becomes my daughter when the diaper's full!" Daddy grumbled. I gave him my signature finger-in-mouth-curly hair-over-my-eyes toothless grin. He melted like butter under the sun. Adults are suckers.

As Mom pulls the door open, I shriek with you joy.
"Ronnyy!" I skip over to my most favorite person in the world. My Aunt Rania doesn't look like an aunt. She's the best thing ever, because she plays with me. She has the coolest stories to tell, and she even taught me how to play with Legos.

The Legos had been my idea, and poor Ronny didn't realize how much of a buzzkill my parents are. I had only taken a nibble on one of the yummy looking blocks, when Mommy screeched at the sight. I was so surprised I instantly swallowed it. Daddy turned me over and made me cough it up. He was so shaken, he kept kissing me again and again.afterwards.

Mommy patted him comfortingly, "She's okay honey. I hope you didn't bargain away our car again. I kind of love the Audi."

"Nah! I bargained away Simba." He joked back, "Sorry about that."

Simba is my favorite! I don't know why he treats me like I'm the Antichrist. I only step on his tail very rarely. I have even stopped trying to ride him like my wooden horsie. He meows with distress whenever I'm nearby, and hides behind sofas and refrigerators. He doesn't even let me draw on him, or wash him anymore.

Anyways, it so happens that my Dadi is visiting with Rania. Dadi is one of my favorite "Spoilers". She makes yummy sweets for me, and non-pea-type foods. Whenever I stay with her, I get a whole new fashion wardrobe. Even now, I can spot the flashy gharara (traditional skirt) she sewed especially for me.

"Dadi ki jaan! (Dadi's life)" she exclaims as she picks me up, covering me with kisses. I launch into details of my day, chattering about my Baby TV program that Mommy puts on for me (seriously? Who the hell thinks babies enjoy that stuff?) I vehemently complain about the type of food I'm being subjected to. She listens carefully, pretending to understand my blabber. I know none of them gets my language, except Rania, but I love to talk anyways.

Mommy hugged Rania and began asking her about schoolwork. Mommy teaches arts at Rania's school, part-time. She mostly works from our home, with her big projects. She had to give most of her final papers very soon after I was born. She used to be so distracted, because I was just too adorable. Then Daddy took a leave from his work, and supported Mom to finish her degree. He was so proud of her when she graduated finally. He even got her a fancy red car that she adores. She calls it bug.

I love my family a lot. Weird as they are. Daddy kisses Mommy a lot when he thinks I'm busy playing. We're his favorite girls (aside from Rania ofcourse)

When Daddy told me that he loved me, I had smacked him in the face. Mommy had tried not to laugh, she turned purple before giggling out loud. I was so happy for her I smacked him again. In retaliation,they made me pose with a poster saying, "I ate my Mom's footcream, and I loved it." They think it'll bother me in about ten years.

You might be wondering how I get all these awesome ideas for activities; well, most of the time, I just listen to this voice in my head....I think her name is Evil Inayah Voice, but I call her Dora.

Hmm, Dora?
Yes?
Shall we tell Mommy that we found her wedding ring? She was pretty upset when we borrowed it...
Naah! She'll find it when she changes our diaper.
You. Are. Brilliant.
I know...Hey! is that a crayon?
........

A/N:
^___^ okay this was pretty cute, huh?
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Thank You ladylikeme6 for the picture of Inayah!