"Love her, but leave her wild."--Atticus

"Check it out Min. THIS is why Pakistani men are ranked third sexiest in the world....we could have gotten to the top baby." Adiba sleepily angles her iPad to display a snoring Ali in bed next to her. To say that he looked hideously unattractive would be an understatement. This is something I share with my sibling; we are both pretty ugly sleepers. He snores with his mouth open comically, and I get cursed hair, drool, and occasional sleep-talking episodes.

I laughed at her idea. Pakistani men have recently been ranked third sexiest in the world, by some dating website. This was a cause for much good humored ribbing on our social media.

The time difference was pretty awkward for Skype sessions, but we always managed to catch up on a daily basis. She relayed gossip about my old workplace; apparently, Ghauri the stapler eater had been promoted to Senior VP. I hesitantly asked after Areeb; almost fearful to find out his condition. Adiba's account was mildly reassuring. He was slowly regaining use of his fingers, in-spite of slow progress. His health was still precarious, and it probably always will be. Intense drug use had rendered his immune system extremely susceptible to infections. He could die tomorrow, or he could live disabled for the next ten-twenty years. The waste of vitality saddened me greatly.

"So, did you tell Shehzer about your bad-assery yet?" Adiba yawns.

"I'm so confused Adibaaaa!!...should I tell him?" I bite my lip in worry. These things just boggled me. What to tell him? What not to tell him? I don't want him hurt or needlessly annoyed about the lies Saleena was spreading.

"I think he deserves to know what his ex is up to. Maybe he can call her out on it. Who knows, she might just come to her senses." She suggests.
Personally, I am skeptical about it. I think I handled her pretty well, and I don't want Shehzer talking to her, even for a confrontation's sake. Also, I had a feeling there's little we can do to stop her if she is bent on creating issues. The most I can do, is make sure our relationship at home isn't affected by all her crap. We're still learning the ropes of being together, we're still getting to know each other. Saleena is like an unwanted pest at this point.

I try changing the topic, "Where's my baby? I haven't seen him for two whole weeks!" I miss Simba intensely.

Adiba coughs nervously before saying, "Oh, Simba? Er... Yeah, he is.actually asleep in your Mom's room. He meows a lot if he is alone...."

I frown at this info. My parents aren't exactly Simba fans, and they have made it very clear.
Adiba successfully distracts me with her next question.

"So. You two sleeping alright?" Adiba winked at me. I grimaced inwardly, regretting that I had ever mentioned our lack of intimacy to my sister. I shrugged noncommittally. She is so sleepy, she simply nods and keeps on rambling, "When you told me about your wedding night, I was like, genuinely worried. I mean, he has to be gay, or have medical issues, if he shows no interest in you, if you're catching my drift..."

This just got me all sorts of bothered. I was so agitated and preoccupied, I made up some excuse about unpacking, before hanging up on her sooner than usual. It worked, because I actually am in the process of unpacking our belongings. We have finally moved to our first official place together. I'm super excited about the redecoration possibilities in this amazing space. Shehzer generously gave me full reign over his Platinum American Express card. I had vowed (or been lectured by my Ma and Dad) not to bankrupt the poor guy.

After hanging up on her, I spent the whole day mulling over Adiba's insane ideas. My husband isn't uninterested in me...he definitely wants me. I keep reassuring myself, reminding myself of all the times he was passionate, and caring....and Shehzer; however, doubts and insecurities that always hover over me, threaten to overwhelm the good bits. In the past, I narrowly escaped, a decidedly un-interested partner, so even the remotest possibility of a repeat situation chills me to the bone.
Shehzer is an enigma for me right now, because I have no idea what he wants from me. He is like a Rubik's cube, infuriatingly cryptic about his own needs and desires. I want an open book, because I'm too impatient to solve him.

I have set realistic targets for the unpacking, and the redecoration. After methodically setting up stuff for our kitchen and Master Bedroom, I debated organizing Shehzer's study for him. He usually crashes there on the green faux-leather Sofa-Bed; leaving me alone in our huge bed. I am sick and tired of these distances. We have been married for three weeks now, and I still don't know what it feels like to wake up next to my husband.

After glaring at the offensive sofa-bed for long minutes; I make a very rash decision. In fact, I think I make several.

I am going to solve my puzzle. Tonight.

.......

The plan was to set up a precedence tonight. A tradition of sorts that will set the mood, and routine for our new life. I wanted us to have a home-cooked dinner together, in honor of our home. Shehzer had never explicitly told me about his favorite food, so I decided to ring up his Mom about it.

"Hmm...his favorite dish. Hard to choose one, I suppose. He always enjoyed the desi food I make; Biryani, Nihari, Haleem, Tikkas, Kebab etc." She explained.

EMV threw up her hands in defeat, 'Well, that ain't happening tonight. Who knew our boy was a desi enthusiast!' She actually had a point. Our kitchen was barely stocked at the moment, and we have been relying on take-out, and the nearby Turkish deli for food. After all the unpacking, I wasn't exactly up for a major culinary adventure.

Promising to drop in the next day, Marium Auntie handed the phone to Rania, who told me all about a soccer tournament she was a part of. I was so proud of my new sister's steely determination to crush the opposing team. She reminded me of her brother in that moment. Relentless.

"Will you be at my game Minnna?" She pleads, "I am the best goalie evaa!"

"Hmm...lemme think. Will there be ice-cream afterwards?" I tease her.
I hear her bugging her mother in the background, before she comes back with the good news. She further instructs me to wear her team colors of Yellow and Blue. I make a mental note to make plans with Shehzer about it. This is Rania's first match, and she deserves a good party afterwards.

With limited ingredients, I was forced to whip up a spicy chicken roast, served with traditional Pea-rice, and yogurt. I had to scrape together the yogurt from a dozen of these tiny condiment boxes we had gotten along with our Indian food order last night. I sighed remembering all those times Mom and I sent out Ali for yogurt. He always whined about it, but I still miss the convenience of it. Fresh strawberries and cream dip would have to do for dessert.

Dressing carefully today, I chose a bottle green silk top, paired with loose fawn pants. I added lipstick, and mascara before dabbing on my favorite scent. My curls were having a rare obedient day, so I left them loose around my shoulders. Operation: Break Shehzer is a go.

I nervously drink some water as I hear him letting himself into the condo. He gave me a distracted half-smile before pecking my cheek.
"You started unpacking without me?" I felt giddy at even this simple touch. Pathetic.

"I'm done with the kitchen, and our bedroom. The basics atleast. I need to visit someplace selling vintage furniture, my plan is to add a little boho touch to the decor..." I discuss the mental picture I had of our condo, during dinner. I was so excited about the possibility of turning our sun room into an art studio. He listened attentively, and gave occasional feedback, but I felt that he was pre-occupied with something.

"The chicken is delicious, love. You seem to have mastered the bird, in this dimension." His eyes crinkled at the irony associated here, and we shared a laugh over the numerous Devil Spawn related chicken incidents I went through. He cleared the table, and ran our dishwasher, it was only fair of course. Unlike typical south-asian males, Shehzer is very self-reliant in the kitchen; it came as a pleasant shock for me.

"Mina. We need to talk." He said putting away the last of the dried dishes.

"Yes, we do." I nodded at his statement.

He turned towards me, slowly advancing nearer.
"Is there something you want to tell me about Saleena? Because I had a very interesting conversation with George today..." His face was expressionless.

"Uh, she's a bitch?" I tried joking nervously.

"Aside from this obvious information."

"She reminds me of Regina George." I moodily chewed on the last strawberry.

"Minnie. Did you call her a two-faced bitch? in a restroom? Really?" His eyes are alive with energy.

"Yes. I did. And I'd do it again in a heartbeat." I cross my arms belligerantly. "She was spreading lies about you, and she disrespected Rania again. I won't sit by passively and let it happen...."

He kept coming closer, and closer, until he was a hairsbreadth away from me. His mouth was tugged in a half-smile. I was confused.

"She was talking about me dumping her, because I wanted to hook up before the wedding. You didn't feel any doubts about it?" His hand coming up to stroke my cheekbone.

"If someone said the same thing about me, would you believe it?" I covered his hand with my own.

"Not for a moment." He states firmly.
His smirk widens, "You told her to go skin puppies? While putting on lipstick?"

I shrug, "I also told her she had been walking around with a wedgie. So?"

His eyes are sparkling now, "Mina. I have to apologize for what I'm about to do next. In my defense, I did give you a lot of space..."

I frown in confusion, "What are yo-"
My words died in my throat as he cupped my face, bringing his mouth down on mine. His lips were insistent, almost hungry. As if he was starving, and I was a feast.
He just kissed me.
Our first kiss!
My head was spinning with all the different emotions running through me. My fingers had automatically fisted in his soft hair, holding him close to me. His scent enveloped my senses. It was magical.

When he finally lifted his head away, I instinctively tried to follow his mouth back. Resting his forehead against mine, he panted for breath chuckling deeply, "You taste like strawberries"

"You just kissed me." I whispered wonderingly.

He ran his nose against my own, "Yes, and I'm about to do it again."
The second time was softer, and sweeter. I couldn't get enough of it. His taste was so addictive. I eagerly kissed him back.

Something kept niggling the back of my mind though. Once I realized it, I broke away from his arms. He growled in frustration.

"Why did you do it now?" I demanded. "Is it because of the Saleena thing?"

His eyes darkened with emotion, "It's because I'm in love with you, and because I can no longer stand being around you without loving you in every way"

"Why NOW? Shehzer?" I am getting madder by the second, "You have claimed to be in love with me since forever!"

"What difference does it make? When it's obvious that you will never be ready for us. For this..." His jaw tightened at the end.

"It does make a difference to me! You kissed me because I stood up to your ex. That's not a good enough reason you jerk!....and oh my God, YOU RUINED MY FIRST KISS!" I was so angry, tears sprang into my eyes.

Looking confused and angry himself, he keeps raking his hand through his hair. "How am I supposed to know that? I kissed you because it just got unbearable for me. I couldn't NOT do it! I did apologize to you..."

I threw a nearby kitchen mitt at him, followed by a couple of apples sitting on the counter. He yelped as he ducked to avoid it. "First...Kiss...ruiner!" I interjected tearfully between each item.

"MINA! STOP!" He grabbed my arm that had been fingering a frying pan. He held me against him, one hand holding both of mine immobile. I struggled to free them unsuccessfully, stomping on his feet as leverage. He winced, but showed no sign of defeat.
"Can you please calm down? I knew it was a mistake. You weren't ready, and I still forced it on you. I am sorry, Minnie, I-"

"WOULD YOU STOP SAYING THAT?" I sobbed in his arms, "READY, READY! What the fuck does that mean, ready? I have been practically throwing myself at you ever since we got married, but you chose to do it at a time like this!"

"Mina. You don't have to pretend for me. I know you're still not over Areeb, and I simply wanted to give you time to get over it. I wanted a wife, that is mine, body, mind and soul. I can't share you with anyone. I Won't." He stated gruffly in my ears.

What in the world?

I was so surprised, I started laughing at this. I probably looked like a maniac, laughing with a tear-stained face.
Areeb. This is what it was about? All this time we wasted...

"Shehzer. When have I ever given you an indication, that I'm not over him? Do you think I'd ever marry you if I was still hung up on him?" I giggled hysterically at this. "And...haha...if you knew HOW off you are about him..."

"I saw his gifts lying in your bag. It seemed as if you liked carrying them around. Not to mention your concern for his welfare..." He scowled at me.

"His gifts in my bag were a total accident, which you could have ASKED me about, instead of sitting over the information like some weird hottie hen." I stuck my tongue out at him, oddly feeling lighter now that we were finally clearing our doubts. "And Shehzer, you're a doctor, darling. Don't you have a vested concern for your patients' welfare? They are total strangers, yet you care about them. Why can't I care about an old friend? Regardless of his actions."

"I guess I was too jealous to think deeply about it. I tried not to be, but it's hard. I become slightly irrational where you're concerned." He looks guiltily at me, looking lost, and vulnerable. It's a rare look for him. I love him so much in that moment.

"Shehzer. I am about to divulge something confidential. It's not my secret, so you have to promise not to tell anyone else about it. I'm simply telling you because we need to clear confusions between us." I take a deep breath before dropping the bombshell on him.

Shehzer looks incredulous, "He's gay? That slimeball! How dare he propose to you?"

I reached up to stroke his hair soothingly, trying to calm him down.
"He was misguided, lost and mistaken. I have forgiven him, because someone has to, and he isn't willing to forgive himself."

"And he shouldn't! I swear, if he were.healthy, I would have broken his face for hurting you." He gritted out.

"The POINT is, Areeb and I were never really anything more than good friends. I loved him, yes, like I love Ali probably, or Simba. But I have only ever fallen in love with one person..." I peeked up at him hesitantly. He was scowling.

"Great. Just awesome. Who exactly is this prick now?" He muttered irritably.

"You're the prick, you idiot!" I pinched his nape hair.

He stared disbelievingly at me, and demanded "Say that again."

"You're a prick?" I shrugged innocently.

He leaned down to nip my ear, rasping out his words, "You're in love with me. Say it."

"Say please first." I pouted.

"Mina!" He growled threateningly, I giggled at his annoyed face. I'll never get tired of teasing this guy.

"I love you, Shehzer Humayun Khan. Even though, your middle name gives me the heebie jeebies." I smiled cheekily at him. I felt like I was floating on clouds, I was so happy.

"About time you said it, love." He feathered light kisses all over my face. I can't believe this is all it took. A few words.

No.
Not just a few words. It took my heart. And my very existence.

"You owe me my first kiss though." I reminded him. He nodded thoughtfully, before calmly picking me up in his arms.

"What are you doing?" I squealed as I gripped his shirt for balance.

"Paying my dues, love." He barely panted, even under my substantial weight. "Which one is our bedroom now?"

...........

Waking up next to my husband in the morning, is every bit as sweet as I imagined it would be. Waking up, due to his insistent neck nuzzling is even better. I pretend to be asleep.

"Hugh. Stop it." I mumble sleepily. His mouth froze beneath my ear, and I heard a rough chuckle.

"You minx. I know you're awake." He sounds amused. "And who the hell is Hugh?"

I snickered sleepily, "Jackman, baby. He is totally hot."

"I would take offense, if I didn't have a man crush on him. Wolverine is the best" He grins lopsided at me. I melt at his rough morning look. His close-shaved beard shadow is more prominent, and his hair looks messed up. Probably because of my fingers. I pinkened as I remembered last night.

"Shehzer, I threw away your Sofa-bed." I announced to him, as I flounced away to brush my teeth, "Hope you weren't too attached to it. I was kind of jealous of it."

He followed me into our ensuite bathroom grinning widely, "It's okay. I can live without it."

I yelped in horror when I saw my face in the mirror. Medusa hair aside, I had some serious redness all over my face and neck. "What on earth...? Shehzer, I think I am allergic to you!"

He began choking on his toothpaste, finally spitting it out before howling with laughter.

"Love, that's beard-burn. I could shave if you're too allergic to it." He smirks at me, stroking his rough chin.

I frowned thoughtfully "Nah, keep it. Most men end up looking baby-faced adolescents after a complete shave."
I didn't mention that I was kind of, partial to his stubble.

"I have a surprise for you." Shehzer told me over breakfast. I perked up with glee. I have a love-hate relationship with surprises. "We're picking up someone from the airport"

I kept asking him about it to no avail.
I was further confused when we went straight to the customs area instead of waiting outside for our "surprise"

Shehzer signed some documents before disappearing inside a room.

He emerged with a cat carrier in his hands.
I began squealing like crazy. Simba!

"Oh my Gosh! Adiba is such a liar! She never told me you were having him shipped!" I eagerly snapped open the cage, and my baby moodily meowed at me before graciously allowing me to pet him.

"He is spoiled rotten." Shehzer snorted at Simba's diva-ness, petting his head once.

"Thank you, so much for this!" I grinned up at my husband. "I think I love you a little bit more than yesterday, now."

"It's funny, I always think like that too. I fall in love with you, a little bit more everyday." He whispered into my ear.

I did it. I solved my puzzle....
...and it's beautiful.

A/N:

I hope this chapter is everything that you anticipated. I really enjoyed writing it. ;)

Anyhoo...our story is very near to its end. I have a dilemma, and I'd like some advice: Would you prefer it if the novel ended here, and I pen down the remaining story into another (book) spin-off brief sequel? Or would you rather I extend this novel to accomodate it?

I'd love to know your thoughts regarding this. (Even though I'll end up doing whatever I damn well please) :)

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