"You pierce my soul. 

I am half agony, half hope."-- Jane Austen (Persuasion)

"Shazz Bhai! Your wife is absolutely gorgeous!!" Shehzer's cousin Sara gushes to him. "She's way out of your league!" He pretends to check me out, while the group surrounding us laughs. 

"Argh! damn. I have been so careful not to let her know about it! Why'd you have to tell her? Now I'll have to keep her under lock and key, so she doesn't run away." He jokes, grinning at me. I smile back, unsure what to say. Maybe it's the new faces, or maybe it's the new country; I'm still trying to orient myself here. We're at the grand Valima ceremony thrown by Shehzer's Mom a week after our arrival. I don't know a single person here, aside from my new family, i.e. Shehzer, Mariam Auntie (his Mom) and Rania. I missed the old comfort of my own family. We had arranged skype, but it just wasn't the same.

I am wearing a midnight blue traditional Gharara (Skirt) and a Blue/gold accented overlaying tunic, and dupatta. My hair is is flowing in the soft waves that the hair-salon lady blow-dried into. I am decked out in the tasteful make-up and jewelry. My favorite part is the delicate, gold band/diadem resting over my brows; it adds a very Greek-ish touch to my soft curls. Shehzer had beamed with pride when he saw me tonight. He was looking like a million bucks with his smart-fitted black suit, and skinny tie.

"You look lovely. As always." He had whispered softly, before slipping a a White-gold sapphire studded necklace around my neck. This time, I distinctly saw him kiss my neck. I shyly touched my neck, "What's this for?"

"Your wedding gift. Part one." He had winked back.

"There are more?" I ask incredulously.

"I can neither confirm, nor deny that statement." He had smirked. The tease. He knew I hated surprises. I was the kid who snooped around her parents' room for the birthday gifts.

Shehzer has a fairly big circle of extended family, acquaintances, friends, neighbors etc. that he is eager to introduce me to. So far, people have been very welcoming, and loving towards me, even though I did sense hostility from a few of his females  acquaintances. Perhaps they are jealous of my being with Shehzer, or perhaps this is how they generally behave. Who knows the heart, eh?

Sara touches my shoulder after people quiet down. "I have a request, Bhaabi (Sister-in-Law)!" I grin at the formal name. Sara is a Freshman at NYU, studying World Government. She is a slightly chubby, dark-eyed girl with an adorable dimpled smile. "You do know Urdu right? Pretty well?" She asks me, eyes dancing with excitement.

"Yes, I suppose my Urdu is pretty decent." I nod. "Mother tongue and all."

"I have a list of Atif Aslam songs I want you to translate for me." She announces. "Also, there's a couple of recent Hindi Movie songs, that are so freaking addictive...."

I laughed out at her request, "Please don't say Balam Pitchkari!!"

" Oh No! I googled that one, but I can't find  decent translation online for this one...None of it makes any sense." She digs into her clutch for her phone. If she's a movie enthusiast She should know by now that Bollywood dance songs rarely make sense, out of the movie context, or even within the context, probably.

"Here. How do you pronounce this?" She eagerly hands me her iTunes playlist. Shehzer looks over my shoulder at the phone, "Chittiyan Kalayiaan?" He frowned at the phone. I snorted with laughter, as Sara blinked at us with expectation. I see a few other cousins are politely waiting for the answer. This is hilarious. How do I translate this idiocy?

"Err...Okay. Let's not expect it to make logical sense okay? or moral sense, or feminist sense. Also, this is Punjabi not Urdu or Hindi, so It won't be a perfect translation, because my Punjabi is rudimentary" I warn her as the song blares from her speakers. "Chittiyan Kalayian means White Wrists. Basically, she wants her boyfriend to take her shopping, and for a romantic movie, because....She has very pale wrists. Later on, she adds a Chunri, and Pink Bangles to the wishlist." I shrug at the end. The group is staring dumbly at me. "Oh there was some stuff about her glittery eyes driving her boyfriend insane, in addition to aforementioned pale wrists of course." 

EMV nods sagely, 'She be, a HO.'  

"No that can't be it. That's what google said, but it didn't make any sense." Sara looks devastated. "I think I need some time to recover before we move on to Sunny Sunny."  

"Sounds cool." I patted her on the back. I really liked Sara. 

Shehzer introduced me to so many old friends, and colleagues that it was hard to remember everyone. His best friends Matt and Umair were so funny, that they left a lasting impression. Umair was married with a two-year old son, and Matt was dating a fellow doctor, so I got to meet with their families. 

"Wait until you have your own brat. It's a nightmare trying to dress up, and look good when you have a two-year-old hanging from your closet door." Umair's wife Zubya exclaims, trying to tug her hyper-active son away from a pristine flower arrangement. I blushed at the thought. We had a long way to go before that part of our lives. "You really should drop by with Shehzer soon. Rachel and I need a shopping buddy." 

Matt's girlfriend Rachel nodded politely at that. "I rarely get time off from the hospital shifts, but I'd love to hang out sometime. I'm a huge art enthusiast, so you have to show me some of your work."

Shehzer was very excited about me befriending these two, because Matt and Umair were his childhood buddies. "We'll have to get you a driver's license soon, so you can travel whenever you like. Zubya and Rachel are wonderful ladies, and I'm sure you'll enjoy their company." 

I try to be as enthusiastic about it as possible, even though a lot of things are just reminding me of home. I miss Adiba, and our inseparable friendship. I miss the liberty of driving a right-hand drive car. I miss Kulsoom Nani's caustic tongue. I miss my Mom's lectures. I miss Ali's teasing. I miss Dad's hugs. 

To say that I am experiencing a culture shock, would be an understatement. Even though I have traveled to other countries before with my family, and with friends; this is my first time in the USA. People just interact differently here. I'm not sure I can actually pin-point what's unique, but it's definitely not what I'm used to. I really like the weather though, and I really like the city I have moved to. Baltimore is one of the busier cities of the state, and with it's ocean bank, it reminds me of Karachi. Except it's a lot cleaner, and most people are a whole lot paler too. I have watched plenty of movies to experience any problem with accents, but my own crisp Paki-English dialect does raise a few eyebrows here. 

Shehzer's Mom and Rania live in a quaint two-story house in the suburban area. We are spending the first few days with them, recovering from jet-lag, before moving to Shehzer's temporary bachelor pad. The best part about this city (so far) is being close to Rania. I am a huge fan of her, and the smug kitten knows it. She was shy at first around me, but it took a couple of hours, and the Elsa castle we got for her, to make her the same chirpy enthusiastic angel who wanted me to do everything with her. 

"Minnna. Will you sweep with me tonight?" She tugged on my hand after we had just finished a round of late-night Twister. "I pwomise you can have the fluffier pillow. Also, I will hug you. Twice." I melted at her list of bargain chips. 

EMV lazily filed her nails; 'Two hugs huh? baby, you're getting more love action here, than in your own bed.' Sigh. Sadly, she was right. After our first mini-spat in the airplane, both of us had been aloof and polite with each other. Scarily so. I hated the fact that we were spending the first stage of our marriage in such an impersonal manner. We weren't growing close together as I had hoped. Shehzer was still the same, caring, sweet guy, but something was missing, and it was slowly eating away at me. 

"Honey. Mina has to be with Shazz now. She'll see you in the morning." My mother-in-law smiled at me, nodding at me to join my husband in his old room here. I hugged both of them goodnight before trudging upstairs. I creaked open the door to find Shehzer deep in studying. Shirtless. I groaned inwardly at the sight. 

He barely looked up as he flipped through ten-inch thick medical tomes. Simple, black-framed reading glasses were perched on his nose, his stubble was more pronounced, hair messed up, as if he'd just run his fingers through it. He looked good enough to eat. It made me so angry, that he could look like a Calvin Klein model without so much as washing his face, while I had to deal with Medusa hair, and occasional freckles. 

"Why are you scowling?" He muttered, frowning at his book. 

"I'm not scowling." I scowled at his flippant tone. "My face is like this. Not everyone is blessed with underwear model looks. This is how the mortal half lives darling. Get used to it." I yanked my silk cheetah print PJ's out of a travel bag Shehzer had unpacked for me. As I swung towards the adjoined Bathroom; I suddenly found myself sprawled across a pile of books. 

"What the hell?' I squeak. Shehzer calmly hoists me in his arms, so that I am face-to-naked chest with him. He grabs my face, and tilts it up, his eyes are glittering with mischief. 

"Underwear. Model. Really?" He demands. "What's gotten into you now? Are you missing home? Did you not get dessert tonight?"

I try to squirm away, but he holds me tight. 

"Mina. I know moving has been hard for you. I want to make it as pleasurable as possible for you. We'll only have to stay a few days at my old apartment, it's very close to the hospital I am interning with. As soon as my residency is up, we can choose a bigger house or condo of your choice. Okay?" He strokes my cheek gently as he says this. 

"I don't mind the moving, Shehzer. I won't even mind if we stayed with your mom here, to be honest." I mutter back.

"Then what spoiled your mood?" He frowns. I inhale deeply, taking in my new favorite scent; Shehzer. I have no idea how to explain what I am feeling. I'm not even sure words exist for it. It's a mix of confusion, frustration, and lust; garnished with a helping of Pre-Pre-PMS. 

"You did." I whisper quietly. "You were looking way too attractive for 11:30 at night." And I have no idea what I'm supposed to do about it. 

He looks surprised, and a little pleased. "Is-Is that a bad thing, love?"

I sigh back, "No it's not. I was just having a pissy moment. Ignore me, okay?"

"Never." He leaned in to brush his lips sweetly against my jaw. "If something's bothering you, I'd prefer it if you had a pissy fit. Just be yourself. I don't like two-faced women." His eyes darken as he says it, and I wonder what that means. I want to have pissy fits about a whole lot of other stuff, but I'm not sure if I should even mention it. Why does he want me to Get used to our relationship? I'm not a child. I stepped into marriage fully aware of the implications. I am happy with him. This marriage is more than I ever dreamed I would get out this relationship. Even with the brief "catastrophe" with Areeb, I never knew that I'd be head over heels in love with my husband. I never knew that the heart-racing, blood-tingling, kind of love existed; that too, for me. 

"I'm ruining your books." I said as I quickly jumped out his embrace. He looked slightly put off, but simply started collecting his notes in one place. "I'm sorry for the studying, so soon after our marriage. But I have a Diagnostic test for the new research place I'm applying at."

"I don't mind. I would offer help, but this looks scary." I poke at a hard-backed book. It has gross, bloody stuff drawn all over it. 

"What are your plans for art school?" He asks, yawning as he absently scratched his head, messing it up further. I resisted the urge to smooth it out.

"I think I'll join in the spring semester. It's kinda late already, and I want to get used to the city first." I inform him. His eyes light up.

"That's excellent. We can go for our honeymoon before you start it. We will move into something bigger by that time, so you'd get plenty of time to redecorate the place, if you wish." He suggests.

I nod enthusiastically. I love redecorating. I think it'll be a fresh start for both of us. Moving into a new apartment. Maybe then, we can truly move forward with our relationship. 

........

The next morning, I woke up early to make coffee and breakfast for Shehzer and me. The poor guy had stayed up late with his books, and after days of VIP guest treatment, I wanted to do something with my hands. Marium Auntie has to prepare special meals for Rania, so she waved away my offer of help. 

"Just relax, child. I have already turned on the coffee-maker. Shehzer mostly enjoys cereal, and boiled eggs in the morning, don't fret yourself over the kitchen just yet. You'll have a lot on your plate once you move to his place." She pats my face affectionately. 

Rania is tucking into her mashed potatoes, and beans. 

"Mama. I like Minna a lot." She announces, grinning at me. "She is sooo much nicer than Saleela."

I shoot a confused smile at my new sister, "Saleela?"

"Sa-lee-nnaa!" she pronounces slowly for me. "Shehzer's old wife. I didn't like her." 

I think my world just collapsed around me. Just like that.

A/N:

Really sorry for the late update. Had a lot going on. To all the Muslims, Ramazan Mubarak! (Even though it hasn't officially started here yet)

 We might be facing irregular updates because of the cramped schedules during this month. 

<3 Loving the new readership, and the tremendous support. :D DON'T FORGET TO VOTE AND COMMENT!