Jin doesn't like to be kept waiting. Namjoon's words rang in my head.

That was all well and good, but apparently, I lived in a fucking labyrinth instead of a mansion and it wasn't like I could ask for directions, was it? So, Jin would just have to suck it up.

Even as I thought that, though, I felt a trickle of trepidation. See there was a part of me, a big part, that remembered being me, real world me. And there was another part that remembered being Alpha and Boss. And that second part, the fantasy protagonist part, knew that crossing Jin was a bad idea. And with that knowledge, a key turned in my mind and that other me took over, directing my steps through the halls. Suddenly I didn't have to quietly crack open doors to cautiously inspect their contents, hoping I might stumble upon my bedroom.

Suite. The voice in my head corrected smugly. Although voice wasn't exactly the right term. I couldn't hear it or anything. It was my thoughts just kind of overlapping my original real-world existence. I recognised the thoughts as my own but also very distinctly as separate from my previous existence. Another me.

That concept brought on another small identity crisis. If I was aware of the 'other me' were they also aware of me-me? That thought triggered a weird doubling of vision and I stumbled slightly into the door to my left (Kookie's room the not-me not-voice provided helpfully.) Right, I agreed, storing away the information only to find it was already there. I started to feel lightheaded.

I took a deep, steadying breath, breathing out slowly the way my therapist had taught me. Except I'd never been to therapy because I'd never been anxious or depressed and I didn't have anger issues, no matter what Jin kept harping on about.

I started that low, threatening growl again as confusion gave way to frustration. Which felt super weird, by the way, like my whole throat was vibrating and I knew my teeth were pulled back in a snarl. Oh my god what if... I squeezed my eyes tightly shut and tentatively touched an exposed canine to find it regular, human sized. Oh thank god, I'm not a werewolf. Just a... I squinted open an eye.

...an alpha. Not-me's not-voice confirmed. Right, an alpha. Like Lisa in every fic ever. Who? Huh, guess Black Pink wasn't part of this world then. I started throwing out the names of other idols just to see if anything rung a bell but apparently fic me had tuned out of my musings once I opened the door to my bedroom. No, my suite, I corrected myself.

I put my hand on the doorknob, sniffing at the air cautiously. I wasn't prepared for the flood of information that triggered. One scent dominated the space and I recognised it as my own, although it didn't have the same association with anything like Kookie's cookie scent. Maybe it was subjective? I could also smell Kookie fairly strongly and just a hint of lavender, which brought to mind Jin, so I assumed that was his scent. Satisfied, my alert posture relaxed into a more comfortable slouch and I locked the door behind me.

The bedroom was exactly as I had always dreamed it. Big bed, stacked with pillows, furniture exactly in my preferred style. Wait. 'preferred style'? I squinted suspiciously at it and realised I couldn't actually determine what style it was, just that I loved it. The bedspread was my favourite colour, but I couldn't name it. The author was being deliberately vague to trick readers into empathising with me.

Oh my god! Will you stop breaking the fourth wall? I'm trying to set a scene here. The bedroom is pretty, the bed is big and you like the colour, ok? Stop whining or I'll make it 'Spartan' and take away all your pillows! Now go shower. I have some important exposition planned for the next scene, damn it!

Ugh, whatever. I started stripping off my clothes as I meandered to the en suite. The water, hot as it could go without causing second degree burns, worked away the tension of this entire bizarre situation. I hummed Blood Sweat and Tears under my breath as I scraped my neatly manicured nails over my scalp, massaging in the oddly scent-free shampoo. Made sense, I supposed. If my nose were sensitive enough to pick up the scent of a person who wasn't even in the room anymore having my head smell like an exotic garden would probably be overwhelming.

I swung my hips to the song in my head as I leaned back to wash the suds off under the spray only to smack my head on the showerhead.

"Ow!" I rubbed the aching spot.

Whoa, was I taller? I looked down and the tiled floor did seem a little further away than usual. Holy shit! Were those abs? Did I have abs now? I flexed and my stomach rippled with muscle. I poked at it curiously. Damn, gurl, you about to give Jungkook and Jimin a run for their money! I pretended to pull up a tank top and did my best impression of Jimin's signature roll turn thing. My amazing abs rippled cooperatively. Nice.

I rinsed off the shampoo and stepped into bathroom, steam rushed past me in copious amounts. I wrapped the towel that was hanging on the rail around my body and stepped to the mirror. The glass was too cloudy to see more than a vague silhouette. I swiped my hand over it but it didn't become much clearer. I huffed in irritation. I was meeting Jin for the first time in a minute, I kind of wanted to do a bit of makeup.

Oh well, odds were if I could smell him in my room, he'd seen me barefaced before surely.

I wandered out of steamy room into my vague looking bedroom (Sparten, I swear to Namjesus!). I mean, my very nice bedroom rummaged through my drawers for something to wear. Maybe like a mid-drift top, (cos damn, those abs), leggings and some cute boots?

I shifted a pair of grey sweats to find another pair of grey sweats. What? I started aggressively searching every drawer. The top one had cotton underwear in various shades of pastel. And the rest were stuffed with grey sweats, light grey sweats, marle grey sweats, and dear lord were those oversized sweaters?

Nope! Not wearing that I don't care how comfy they look. I stalked to the wardrobe and wrenched it open.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I screeched.

Hanging up on expensive looking wooden hangers were grey sweats and oversized sweaters. Oh my God, were they ironed? Who irons sweatpants? I yanked them unceremoniously off the hangers and threw them on the bed. Selecting the pastel pink panties because if I was going to be a cliché I was going to go all in, I roughly dried myself and pulled on the stupid outfit.

As I crossed to the exit, I felt my hands moving of their own accord to my now magically dry hair to pull it up into a 'casual ponytail'.

"Nope!" I muttered, yanking my hands down to tear open the door.

As I walked toward the dining room, my hair bounced distractingly. I felt like I was in a shampoo commercial. I raked my hand through it in annoyance pulling it back from my face for the fifth time in my short journey.

The closer I got the more relaxed I became. I began to realise my gradual mood change was due to a swirling miasma of scents, buttery chocolate chip cookies, misty calming lavender, sharp pine, vibrant juniper, and a hint of freshly cut grass. I breathed deep and exhaled a satisfied sigh. Home.

The door had barely swung closed after my entry before I was being pinned under a disapproving stare.

"You're late." Jin intoned flatly.

"An alpha is never late. Nor are they early. They arrive precisely when they mean to." I replied gravely. Lord of the Rings quote? I mentally high-fived not-me.

Kookie and Taehyung widened their eyes, flicking their gazes from me to Jin in trepidation. Conversely, Jin's eyes narrowed dangerously. Namjoon's brows rose into his hairline with surprise. But Hobi, my man Hobi, snorted a laugh. My lips widened into a grin and I shot Jin a cheeky wink and just like that, the tension of the room slipped away and conversation resumed.

There was only one spot left at the table, so I pulled the chair out and sat down. It didn't escape my notice that it was at the head, with Namjoon to my right and Jungkook to my left. It also didn't escape my notice that Taehyung was cozening up to Kookie's left. I shot him a look and was placated when he scooted back a little, lowering his eyes.

As the meal progressed I noticed Jungkook stealing surreptitious glances at his phone.

"What time is your meet up?" I asked when I saw his brow furrowing with worry.

All eyes shifted to us and conversation hushed.

"Twenty-three minutes."

"Oddly specific, but ok. Guess you better get going then, huh?" I smiled indulgently at him. "Joon, did you arra-"

"What meet up? Where are you going? Who are you meeting?" Taehyung's voice cut across mine, his lips turned down with displeasure as he began to interrogate my younger brother.

"Did you just interrupt me, pup?" I grated, my hackles rising again.

"No, I mean yes, but-" Tae's mouth hung open for a second before snapping shut. "Sorry, Alpha."

"Joon, did you make the necessary arrangements?" I continued on, my words tinged with impatience.

"Yes, Boss."

"Good. Kookie, you're excused. Do what your guard says. Don't take any unnecessary risks." I opened my arms and presented my cheek which he kissed dutifully. I wrapped him in a hug and nuzzled into his hair, scenting him openly. "Be good. Have fun."

"Boss are you sure-?" I held up my hand to stop the words in their tracks.

"Am I so weak that I can't protect my own brother?"

"No of course not but-"

"Then are you not capable of arranging suitable guard detail for him?" I speared Namjoon with my stare. His back straightened in offence.

"Of course, I'm capable."

"And the men? I presume you assigned more than one to such an important job. You trust them. Right? They're loyal to us. To me."

"Yes, Alpha."

"Then Kookie is perfectly safe. Sit down and finish your meal." I gestured with my fork to his plate.

"Actually Boss, I gotta run." I swung my gaze to Hoseok's sheepish expression.

"Where?"

"I'm performing at The Violet Underground."

Jin snorted. "Performing. Uh huh."

"It is performing!"

"It's an open mic night."

"You're a comedian?" I asked and Taehyung sniggered beside me.

"I'm a rap artist!"

"Oh."

"Artist!" Tae giggled.

Namjoon's lips were quirked into a smirk which he quickly thinned.

"I am! I write everything I perform!"

"No, Hobi, that's great!" I interrupted, scowling at the younger boy who couldn't seem to control his mirth. "Good luck. Or wait, break a leg, isn't it?"

Hoseok beamed at me and I blinked at the sheer blinding beauty. "Thanks Boss. You should come along."

"Uh..." I looked from Jin who was frantically shaking his head to Hobi's hopeful face. "Sounds good?" I ventured.

The older omega slapped his forehead with is palm.

"What? Is it that bad?" I looked confusedly between the two men.

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Oh." I said stupidly.

"Come on, it'll be fun." Hoseok cajoled. Ugh! Why was I so weak to puppy eyes?

"Yeak, ok." I agreed, patting Hoseok awkwardly when he launched himself at me in a hug. "Ok big guy. Hands off the goods."

"Oh, right, sorry." He untangled himself from me and practically skipped out of the room.

Twenty minutes later all three of us were piling into the backseat of the car with Hoseok and two men who's suits had suspicious bulges. Jin said something about wanting to be there when I was eating my words. Seriously, how bad could it be? Real life Hoseok was a pretty good lyricist and he went off on the mic. 

"I wonder what the line up's like tonight. Hope I get last spot." My lieutenant enthused. "The stage manager keeps giving it to that Agust D guy but we all know it's cos she likes him."

My mind latched onto the pseudonym. Of course, I recognised it. And if Yoongi was going by Agust D there was a hundred percent chance he was a tsundere. I just hoped he wasn't from some kind of 'rival gang' thing.

"Tch. Spare me from horny omegas." He griped good naturedly, elbowing me in the ribs like he was sharing a joke.

"Sure." I agreed absently, wondering what colour his hair was going to be. I was hoping for mint, but tough Suga usually had white blond. Then the blurb I had read prior to being sucked into this waking weirdness flashed before my eyes. Suga x Reader.

"Wait, who's an omega?"

A/N Okie dokie, I'm writing again, hooray! So here, have some light hearted fluff while I flex the ole creative muscles.

I'm having a lot of fun with this one. I know it's not everyone's cup of tea but I just love playing with archtypes and tropes. It's gonna get a lot more meta and ridiculous so brace yourself! I love parady! 

Anyways, thanks for reading. Don't forget to vote and remember I purple you!