The warmth of the morning sun and the sound of birds singing wakes me from a sound sleep. A type of happiness that only exists in my finest moments overcomes my body. Still wearing Barry's maroon sweatshirt and my navy blue pajama shorts I sit up in bed. As my brain starts to regain consciousness, excitement runs though my veins and I remember what day it is. It's my birthday, I sing to myself as I slightly wave my hands in the air. I get up and walk over to my closed bedroom door.

Just before I twist the doorknob,  a shocking and slightly terrifying thought rips through my ecstatic demeanor. I woke up happy. Not screaming, happy. I didn't have any nightmares last night. My mind races with thoughts:

Maybe it's because today is my birthday.

Maybe because I just magically grew out of my nightmares.

I decide that the sudden evaporation of my night terrors is caused by combination of both ideas. Then a last minute inference comes into my head- What if I didn't have a nightmare because something bad is going to happen. I quickly shut the idea down and criticize myself for even having such a thought. 

I twist the door knob and open the door, half expecting everyone to be dead. But everybody is alive. Not only are they alive but they seem happy too. Well Joe and Barry seem happy, Iris just seems miserable. I sit down in the living room chair because my usual spot on the couch is taken by a suffering Iris leaning limply on Barry's shoulder. Joe tries to look sympathetic for his daughter but can't help but laughing.

"Happy birthday," Barry says with a smile that could melt the sun. Joe repeats his statement.

"Happy birthday sweetie," Iris says before going back to Barry's shoulder. He strokes Iris's hair and kisses her forehead. Joe and I look at each other with uncertainty. To us, and everyone else in the multiverse, Barry and Iris look like the cutest couple ever. But to them, well, I guess they have no idea what they are.

"So do you have to go to work to day Barry?" I pray to all science that the answer is no.

"Nope. I'm taking the day off today." I feel a light go on in my heart- something I have rarely felt. Iris sits up a little more.

"This is the worst hangover.. ever."

"I bet," Barry and I say simultaneously. Recalling the way she was acting last night, I am surprised that she is even conscious.

"So what are you kids doing for Dawn's birthday?" Joe asks. My heart skips a beat- are they planning anything for me? I haven't had and actual birthday party in nine years. I don't think I could handle a party for me.

"Oh no, nothing needs to be planned for me. It's just a normal day," I say trying to hide my panic. Iris and Joe think I'm just being modest but Barry hears the fear in my voice.

"Well I was thinking that we could just fight street crime and save people from burning buildings. And maybe go to Big Belly Burger afterwards." I smile, thinking of how perfect that all sounds.

"Okay," Joe says. "I'll join you for dinner but today is my day off from fighting street crime."

I laugh and then retreat to my room to change my clothes. I contemplate sporting a cute outfit or a simple one. I choose a mixture of both- black jean shorts and a white STAR Labs t shirt. I quickly wipe on a medium coat of mascara like normal and, because it's my birthday, I swipe some of Iris's pale pink lip gloss. I shove my feet into some black high top converse and make my way back to the living room.

"Another shirt," Iris chokes out. I assume she means another STAR Labs shirt. I nod and grin.

"Ready?" I ask Barry. He nods then stokes Iris's hair.

"Come to dinner when you are feeling better," he says. She nods. We walk out the front door and onto the porch.

"I think we should start the day by meeting Caitlin and Cisco at Jitters."

"Agreed," I say. "Race you."

And we're off.

-*-

"Racing was a bad idea," I say as I stomp out the smoke from my shoes. We both laugh and enter Central City's best coffee shop. In the corner of the lounge I see Caitlin and Cisco drinking coffee with content looks on their faces. I head over to them and sit, excitement flooding my senses.

"Hey happy birthday," Caitlin says as soon as I sit down. Cisco repeats her greeting with a warm smile that makes my heart melt. The fact that people care about me enough to wish me happy birthday makes me want to cry in rejoice.

"Awe thanks," I say sincerely. Barry joins us with my coffee and then takes a seat. I let the warmth of the coffee cup sink into my hands and invade my cells with heat. The steam rises towards my face and tickles my nose until I end up sniffing. That's when I get a whiff of the sweet smell of the black liquid.

"So," says Caitlin, snapping me out of my thoughts. She pulls out a small white box. "I got you a gift."

My heart stops. A gift? For me? I haven't gotten a birthday present since my parents died and, quite honestly, I'm afraid my blunt emotions won't know how to respond to this gesture. I open my mouth to say words but none come out. Instead a slightly audible choke falls out of my mouth. Don't get me wrong, I really do appreciate the gift. It's just that if I don't like it my brain won't know how to react without hurting her feelings.

C'mon Dawn, I think to myself. Just do what other people do when they get gifts they don't like.

"That's really sweet of you," I say taking the small box in my hand. I open the box, trying my best to hide the fear that lays inside of me. I look down at the object in the small box and gasp. Well I didn't need to worry about not liking the gift.

"Caitlin, I love it." I pull out a simple silver chain necklace with a small charm that resembles the emblem on mine and Barry's suit. "Thank you."

"Your present from me is back at the lab," Cisco says. I smile wondering what it is.

We lounge with our coffee for about three fourths of an hour and then make our way over to STAR Labs. I am so overjoyed at how well the day is going that, at first, I don't realize the confused look that hosts Jesse's face. I notice a large white sheet covering the place that used to hold my suit. I turn towards Cisco and see that he looks more excited than me.

"Happy birthday," he says giddily. I walk up to the white sheet, my heart exploding out of my chest. I grip the sheet and pull, revealing its clandestine treasures.

A new, yellow suit stands before me. It is the same style that my original suit was only this one was shinier and brighter. The lightning bolt emblem seems to sparkle. I then turn towards Cisco and smile.

"Do you like it?"

I nod and laugh. "I love it. Thank you so much."

"Guys," Jesse says with uncertainty. "Come take a look at this."

Her unsettling tone makes my extreme happiness fade just a tad, and then turn into focus. I walk over to the computer she is working on; it has a virtual map of Central City on it. In the middle of the map lies a purple spot.

"Is that.." I trail off looking at the screen.

"Intense levels of nuclear radiation," says Cisco.

"I think we found your friend," I say annoyed. I take a deep breath; this day was going so well. I see Cisco's smile broaden. I see everyone's smile broaden. "Well let's go"

-*-

Barry and I talk to each other as we run down the streets of Central City. My main concern is that Bette will rejoin the team and I will be forgotten- an irrational fear I know, but it wouldn't be the first time something like that would happen to me.

"What if she doesn't like me?" We turn a corner and Barry scoffs.

"Oh please, everyone likes you."

"Yeah tell that to the fifty nine foster homes that I have been in."

"She'll love you," Barry assures. We near the spot where Cisco spotted the nuclear waves. Before we get there I remember to tell Barry one more thing.

"So I was thinking, you know because it's my birthday, you could do me a favor and just make it official?" Barry looks at me with a half confused half stunned face. "Just ask Iris out already!"

Barry contemplates the idea for a moment and then says, "I will. Tonight."

I gasp. And then I squeal. Finally.

"Dawn, your nose is bleeding."

I wipe the blood from my nose as I run. Weird. 

"Where is she?" I look around. "Bette I mean."

"Up there," Barry says excitedly as he points to the top of a tall building. We run up the building and face Bette in a second. Her orange hair glows in the sunlight and contrasts perfectly with her purple shirt. Her face bares an abhorrent scowl that Barry doesn't seem to notice.

"Bette! You're alive, I don't understand. Are you okay?" Barry seems so excited to see her that he doesn't spot the small white spheres that the woman is holding in her hands. I study them, wondering what they are while Barry continues with the conversation.

"You left me to die," Bette says. My head snaps up and my focus diverts from the white spheres. Barry seems utterly shocked at her choice of words.

"You were going to blow up the city; I had no choice." I'm a little confused on what the story is between these two but I don't see any harm in a little argument.

"You left me without a second thought. I thought we were a team Barry," Bette says in an angry voice that chills my bones. Barry is speechless.

I can hear Cisco's voice in my ear, "I did not see that coming."

"You replaced me Barry," she points to me and I cower into myself. Bette moves the white spheres between her fingers. "You left me."

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you," says Barry with a palpable sorrow in his voice.

She swallows and then hardens her face. "Yeah? Well now you're going to leave her too." She rolls one of the white spheres in my direction and I stare at it curiously while it glides calmly across the roof of the skyscraper. Barry shouts something like 'look out' but he gets cut off by a deafening sound of the small white ball exploding. It reminded me of an Olympic gymnast, the way the tiny object produced such a magnificent spectacle. The bomb leaps and flips and turns in its routine- trying to win the gold of my death.

How can I be so stupid? I think to myself. I remember Barry telling me that she can make things explode yet I couldn't think at all when that little bomb came rolling towards me. Barry is going to kill me. I'm not even fast enough to out run this blast, so I just let the blast throw me off my feet and fly me across the roof. I take a quick look at Barry to make sure he is not doing anything stupid like trying to kill Plastique. Instead of seeing some Barry level stupidity I see two catastrophes. One: I see Bette making a quick and easy escape. Two: I see Barry being hit with the concussive blast of the small bomb. He lands, seemingly unconscious, on the buildings edge.

That is when I land on the ground. Hard. I feel the strain of whiplash strike my neck like a knife and then my head smacks the ground producing a loud whack that vibrates through my body. My vision threatens to blacken and I will myself not to pass out. As I lay on the ground, my head losing its blood volume by the second, I do my best to glance over at Barry. He is teetering on the edge of the building, about to fall. He's unconscious, I say to myself. If he falls now he won't be able to run down the building.

The panic that lays hidden somewhere deep inside of me opens its lid and escapes throughout my body. It adds to the pain of my head and I crawl my way over to Barry. When I am about ten feet away from him, he falls. He falls down the side of the building and a few seconds later he lands on the street below. I scream Barry's name and then my adrenaline takes over and my pain vanishes.

"Cisco!" I shout into my comms. "Get here now!"

I run down the building and with a numb feeling in my bones, I sit down next to a limp Barry. My legs touch something wet and I look down to find myself in a puddle of warm blood. I freeze.

Please wake up, I say to myself, thinking this must be a nightmare.

Even though I plead and plead, this nightmare I don't wake up from.