Not so Sour Valentine

The beautiful cover is done by @lucyface

I dialed Miranda's number one more time but she didn't pick up. Biting my lip in anticipation, hoping she's ok. Thinking back to that night on New years eve when it almost happened, it became very heated: clothes off and on the floor, breathes becoming short and heavy from our kisses, our limbs tangled together.

She was seriously ready, even guiding my hand between her legs but it didn't feel right to me. I know I gave her that whole spiel about me being a guy and having needs but I wanted it to make it special for me and her. Not just candles, satin sheets and smooth music, maybe some music.

I told her that we should take it slow, she said it was fine and she did mean it but as the month passed, she became a little distant. "I've been busy Sean, some stuff going on at home. No big deal," she had told me, even giving me a kiss on the lips for assurance. I smiled but it was forced, so I gave her some space. It's our one year anniversary of our first kiss on the sail boat. This time I didn't set up a boat trip date, I just wanted to be with her. "Miranda where are you?" I muttered to myself, dialing one more time and hoping she picks up. After four rings, it goes to voicemail again. I sighed deeply and put my phone in my pocket, "I should just go to her house." I stood up from my bed, grabbing my jacket and shoes. Heading out my room and through the living room, seeing dad on the couch watching his program. Not seeing mom, assuming that she went to work today. "Hey dad im heading out," I informed him, going to the kitchen first, opening the fridge to get a drink of water.

"Seeing Miranda for Valentine's day?" he asked, I leave the kitchen to see his eyes still on the TV.

"Yeah." i responded.

"Wear a condom." he simply said, making me roll my eyes with a smirk and open the door. "Oh son before you go, there's some mail for you."

"I'll get it later," I told him but he's already on his feet approaching me and puts the letters in my hand, walking back toward the couch and plopping down for a sit. I shake my head, my dad is of a few words but I love him. When I told him that i was with Miranda, he said and I quote 'its about damn time' and resumed eating his sandwich for lunch.

I wonder if he has any plans today for him and mom. Dad may be quiet at times but I get my romantic side from him. He had always told me to go for Miranda but I was with my ex previously. My parents did like my old girlfriend but kind of thought she was a bit prissy. I sighed and looked at the mail, counting only two. One addressed from Princeton University, slightly thick. My breath hitched in excitement, the school that I've been wanting to study at since I went there for a campus tour and loved the feel of it all.

They have an amazing engineering program, which is my major so its great for me. I smile to myself, leaving the house and closing the door behind me and start to open the letter but I stop when i see the second letter, handwritten font addressed to me from someone i haven't spoken to or seen in a year: Emily.

***
The walking distance from mine to Miranda's is not that far, ten minutes of walking in a daze with two letters that feel heavy in my pocket. One that could make me feel awesome of my future and the other that could make me feel indifferent. Not even realizing that i was in front of her door I almost hit my forehead, I stop in my tracks and blink really fast.

I breath out really deeply, bringing out my fist to knock three times. I hear a scuffle from inside and a curse, the door opens fast revealing a scattered Miranda. Flour in her blonde hair and fair skin, wearing a bright yellow spongebob t-shirt and gray sweatpants. Her brown eyes widened at my presence, mouth open like a fish, all the thoughts I had been forgotten because of her expression that makes me feel warm inside.

"Sean I was literally about to call you and almost dropped my phone in the mix," she started with a shake of her head. "Were you reading my mind? I know we're lovers/best friends but you can't be that good."

"I've been calling you all day. What happened?"

"I know, I just got your calls. I turned off my phone so I wouldn't be disturbed. Come in, it's freezing." She pulled my arm as my whole body entered the house. The smell around the house was chocolate and tomato sauce, looking to Miranda as she wipes her hands on her pants and gives me a smile. "I know I'm such a bitch for being weird for the past month and not calling you lately but for once I wanted to actually surprise you, not with my face or body." She explained, grabbing my arm again as we head into the kitchen: slightly messy with a few dishes in the sink and some mix of flour and egg on the counter

"Cooking is not my expertise but I like doing it and my food is actually ok, especially lasagna and cookies so I combined the two. Not really combined them together because that would be gross but made lasagna and chocolate chip cookies separately. Two dishes. I'm not trying to say I want to be domestic but it's a perk and-" I grabbed her face, kissing her gently to cut off her rambling. I feel her stiff body become softer, her arms go around my shoulders. The taste in her mouth of butter, chocolate and salt was sweet as I deepen our kiss. We break away, our foreheads resting each others. "Now that's an hello," she whispered with a smile.

"It really is. Where are your parents?"

"Oh that's one of the best part. They are on a cruise for three days, Valentine's special, so i have the house to myself, hence the cooking." She gestured, but i didn't see anything.

"Is the food invisible?" I asked with raised eyebrows, she pushed me away slightly and said "very funny. It's warming in the oven, i was gonna change and then call you so you could see me all dolled up and pretty."

"You're beautiful no matter what, even when you have a chocolate chip in your hair." Picking it from her strand, her face shocked but tiresome as she rolled her eyes. It's almost melted, I look around and found a dish towel and cleaned my fingers.

"When i was opening the bag it popped open like a jack in a box. What's in your back pocket?" I turned to her, confused at first to what she's talking about until I reach into my back pocket and feel the letters that i brought.

"Oh." I pulled them both out and holding them tight, I wanted to just show her the Princeton letter but the look of wonder on her face makes my heart beat very fast. I can't lie to Miranda, we've been friends for so long. She knows me and I know her, being supportive of my break up is one of the best qualities that i love about her but her reaction of the letter could still be spontaneous.

"Sean, what is it?" She questioned, grabbing her hands into mine, feeling the stickiness from the cookie mixture and she's staring right into my blue eyes.

"I uh... my dad gave me mail before I got here. One's from Princeton-"

"Princeton? Oh my God that's awesome! But why the sour face? You didn't get in?"

"I haven't opened it yet."

"Ok. Is the other letter a death threat or something?" She joked, grabbing both envelopes and looking at both. Her smile fell from her face, she blinked twice and looked up to me. She did it again several times, not saying anything. She blew out a breath and finally looked at me. "You didn't open this at all?"

"I have no idea how I feel about it so I couldn't bring myself to do it," I explained.

"Do you want to read It?" she asked with a worried look on her face. I couldn't hide this from her but I do want to see what she said. As much she hurt by leaving to break up with me I need to know what she says, even how she feels. I nodded slowly at her, she sighed and gave me both letters. "Ill leave you to read it, got to check on the food and clean the kitchen," she said in a low voice, walking toward her location. I blew out a breath, opening the envelope in a slow pace, bringing out the letter and unfolding. Seeing her cursive handwriting on the paper I start to read on:

*Hi Sean,

It's been a while since we talked. How are you? You don't have to answer but you can always find me on social media if you want to message me, just search my name. I've been doing good, Germany is so beautiful you should come visit. Anyway I just wanted to tell that I was totally wrong for leaving so suddenly to end things with us. I haven't been great with break ups or with relationships. The guys in my past have been a variety but it's my problem of having trusting people because I fall in love too quick and me ending up with a broken heart. Meeting you was such a breath of fresh air, you are a gentleman of all sorts. Being with you for a year and a half made me so happy and free, when you told me that you loved me put me in a whirlwind of emotions to realize I loved you too but wasn't in love. I couldn't put you through that drama of me being so distant to you or even stray to cheat, you're too nice of a guy for that. I almost did once but I stopped myself. I wanted to tell you so many times how I felt but the looks you always give me, the gifts and kisses made me stay so I forced myself to leave. There's a great program here to so I can finish my senior year and get into a great university in America. I am working on me and seeing someone, taking it slow. He's really lovely and sweet. Enough about the sad stuff but I'm really sorry about everything. Like I said you're an amazing guy just not for me. There's other great girls for you, maybe you're with someone that just loves your drumming skills. Hoping we can still be friends or at least acquaintances.

Best regards,

Emily.*

Leaving me smiling and nonchalant at the same time with her words, I ripped up the letter, seeing the nearby trashcan and throw the debris away. Its good that she can be able to be with someone that treats her well, but I couldn't keep this with me. It's closure for both of us, we finally moved on from each other but I can't keep in touch with her. Maybe we can pass by each other one day but I'm over her. I hear footsteps behind me and I look back, Miranda's appearance has changed: a simple blue long sleeved shirt with loose jeans and her hair in a pony tail, looking so cute, she gives me a small smile as she approached me. "Everything ok?" she's asked.

"Yeah. I didn't know you went to change, you look great."

"Thanks. I couldn't be in those clothes for too long, found an egg shell in my bra." She laughed, shaking her head and I laughed with her, she takes my hand and holds it gently.

"Did you get the answers you wanted?" she asked.

"Yeah, she's happy where she is and so am I."

"That's good."

"You're not mad?"

"No why would I?"

"Because she wrote to me. I dont want you to think she still has feelings for me."

"Does she?"

"No."

"Ok."

"You're not in the least mad?"

"Ok, a little frustrated maybe. Its good that she wrote to you, you don't even have to tell me what she said. However the way she just wrote a letter to you in so long when you've moved on is kind of aggravating. It's like you're holding back because of her."

"I'm not, I swear."

"Then what about last month?"

I sighed, I knew this conversation would come up. It was too good to be true that she was too nonchalant about it.

"I didn't stop us because of her. I wanted it to be special for you, not to feel rushed in any way," I explained, hoping she would understand. Emily was my first and it was kind of awkward but nice, she instructed me when I didn't know what I was doing, was patient but a little strict. I didn't want my first time with Miranda to be like that.

"Sean you're my first real boyfriend and best friend, but don't treat me like I'm glass. I have dated and kissed guys. I want it to be special too. It could be great with us, we know each other so well."

"I know but sex can change things."

"And it can be for the better."
I smiled at her words, walking closer to her as our eyes met. I feel like I'm dreaming when i'm with her.

"I don't deserve someone as amazing as you."

"Yes you do." Her lips meet mine in a gentle kiss, her arms wrap around my neck, mine around her waist. We let go and she tells me to open the university letter and I do. Reading it through, I got accepted with a scholarship and she jumped on me making us both fall on the floor. She peppered me with kisses all over my face. We stayed on the floor for a while, she tells me about her acceptance to state university of Maryland.

I tell her that's great and kiss her again. I reminded her about the food she made, she got up and went straight to the kitchen to get it from the oven. I follow her to see that she's setting up the table for us. I admire how positive and understanding Miranda can be in any situation. I'm in love with her, my best friend that has had a crush on me since the ninth grade. I approach her to the table and kiss her cheek and sit next to her, before she divides the lasagna on our plates, I see that the cheese on top is spelled out 'happy v day'. Emily will always be my first but Miranda will be my last.

One more chapter will come soon, and its in Mirandas pov!! Kind of steamy ;)