Headache, major headache and fuck. I rush to the bathroom and throw my guts up into the porcelain toilet. I groan and throw up again, disgusting, reminds me of morning sickness when I was pregnant with Bronx. I throw up for the third time and Patrick enters the bathroom "you alright babe?" I nod and wipe my mouth with a towel. He holds his hand to my forehead, then pulls it away "you're a bit warm, maybe you caught something at the thing last night." He helps me back to bed and presses a kiss to my forehead before he leaves, promising to bring back food.

        Twenty minutes later he still hadn't came back upstairs and I was feeling another throat full of vomit coming up. I stumble to the bathroom and puke my guts out for the fourth time this morning, I start to cry and wipe my face again. I call out Patrick's name but get to reply. Fuck you Patrick Stumph. I head downstairs, nobody is home. The kids are nowhere to be seen and Patrick has left, again.

         "Pete, I got called in. I'm super sorry, I'll make it up to you. Love Patrick.... What the fuck, this is the second time." I grab our home phone and dial Ashlee's number. I hold the phone up to my ear and listen to it ring three times before Ash answers "hey Pete!" She's happy, probably got laid. "Hey Ash, I need a favor" I tell her, I almost hear her frown "Babe, what's up? Is Bronx alive? Did you kill some—" "Ashlee, I need a pregnancy test and someone to cry to while watching cartoons."

           She sighs "I'll be there in 20 and I'm bringing Ben & Jerry's." Then she hangs up. I see a half of bowl of cereal on the counter, the milk carton is next to it and the box of Cheerio's. I hate Cheerio's. They taste like shit and they aren't sweet bought for me, Patrick's an ass.

—

"Pete? Babe, I'm here." Ashlee yells. "In the living room" I halfway yell back, the theme song to Rick and Morty almost drowning me out. Ashlee walks in with a plastic bag from Target in her hand and plops down next to my blanket covered body. "You're watching adult swim, really dude?" She wraps both her arms around me and hugs me, I feel her new bleach blond hair tickle the tip of my nose. "I don't wanna be pregnant again Ash, I was in so much pain and I know Bronx came out of it, but shit it hurt so bad" I cry into her shoulder. "Take the test, then you can whine" she hands me three boxes out of the bag and pushes me off of the couch.

       After pissing on all three tests I set them on the counter and in the bathtub till the alarm on my phone goes off. "A-Ash, I-I can't look a-at them!" I yell and hug my knees. She comes in with a bag of Cheetos in her hand, she walks to the counter and sighs loudly "I'll call Patrick, ice creams in the freezer and... Y'know what start a bath I'll be back." I let a loud sob erupt out of my mouth and climb into the bathtub, I hear Ashlee downstairs talking and the freezer door slam shut.

       I strip down to nothing and climb into the half full tub with steaming hot water, I grab a vermilion colored bath bomb from the bowl and let in sink into the water. The water turns into a bright shade of red and orange, I sigh and let the water cover my body. Ashlee comes back in and sets a large, round carton of Ben&Jerry's double chocolate brownie with a spoon sticking out of it. "Patrick's on his way" she tells me and pets my hair. I burst out sobbing again and Ash keeps playing with my hair "calm down Pete, he will be here soon."

        "Pete, come on you have to talk to me, what's wrong?" Patrick asks for the third time. Ashlee sighs and eats the rest of my ice cream, Patrick sighs as well and softly cups my face "Pete, I left work for your "emergency" please, just fucking tell me what's wrong. Pete please." He strokes my cheek with his thumb and presses a light kiss to my forehead. "Babe, you gotta tell him, he's gonna find out sooner or later" Ashlee tells me and hands Patrick the three pregnancy sticks.

        "Jesus, Pete, dude I-I'm not ready for a-another kid. Baby, I-I'm too stressed r-right now..." He keeps rubbing my cheek, I don't know what he's trying to do and I'm getting a bit panicked. "It doesn't seem that this is very important to you, so you can go back to work now. Pete and I will talk." Ashlee looks angry, but Patrick doesn't argue, he lets go of my face and leaves the room.

           "Pete, you're not going to get rid of the baby, that idea is locked in a safe and the safe is under Disneyland. So your other options are, have the baby with or without Patrick." Ashlee keeps her hands in my hair and I press my head into her touch, like a cat. "I'm not gonna get an abortion Ash, I promise and I'm gonna have this kid. I don't care what Patrick says, I'm gonna have another child."

—

"Hey Pete, where's Dad?" Declan asks me as he walks into the kitchen and spots me on the counter with my phone in my hand. "work" I mumble and look at the text message Joe had just sent me.

From Joe:

   dude do u wanna hang at the beach w/ rubes andy & I this weekend?

From Joe:

      w/ ur family of course

To Joe:

      ye man sounds gr8 c u thn bt i gtta chek 2 c if trick cn cum

From Joe:

      for a writer ur texting grammar is horrible

To Joe:

       fck u

"Dec, what does Patrick think about the beach?" I ask the sixteen year old peering into the fridge. "He hates being in the sun but he loves being at the beach" he informs me and grabs some left over pancakes out of the fridge. I nod and sip on my strawberry mocha smoothie Ashlee made me "I think we are gonna go to the beach with the Trohman's and Andy." Declan grins and talks through a mouth full of pancakes "that would be sick!" I smile at him and take a long sip from my smoothie.

         "What does 'Trick think about think about babies?" Declan chokes on his pancake and coughs the chewed up food onto his plate. "Uh, I think he's not a fan of them, since they're so much work and all that..." Declan trails off and takes a big gulp of water. I notice my hand is on my stomach, I pull it away and intertwine my fingers together and hold them in my lap. "Why?" Declan's eyebrows are raised and he had set his pancakes back down. I bite my lip "just wondering" I tell him, trying to keep my voice as calm as possible. Declan nods and continues to eat.

           "How was school?" I ask, I'm desperate to change the subject and nervous that it could slip out any second. I'm bouncing my leg slightly, my fingers are tapping on my knuckles and I keep pulling my bottom lip through my teeth. In other words, I'm nervous as fuck. I'm nervous because Patrick is supposed to be home soon and he's going to want to talk about it. Nervous because I'm having my first conversation between Declan and I where it's just us two. Declan is telling me about his report he's working on in English and I'm drifting off into my mind.

         "...Pete, do you think you could, y'know help me. I mean you're and writer,  so I'm guessing you're good with that grammar and stuff...Pete?" He snaps me out of my thoughts. I rub my knuckles and nods "sure, we can start working on it after school tomorrow." He smiles and thanks me, I smile back, it's about a genuine of smile that I can muster at the moment.

           The sound of the front door opening and clanging of keys comes from the hallway; Patrick's home.

an: this story is gonna be dramatic as fuck just warning y'all