“I don’t know where I belong, but I’ll be moving on”
~Beyonce (Listen)

I went back home and picked my purse, entrance ticket and ID card before leaving.

When I arrived at the centre, it was already 8:59 and I had just 31 minutes total amount of time.

After I was verified and allowed into the hall, “You’re late, girl!” The invigilator said with a worried and confused look.

“It’s a long story,” I said, eager to collect my questions and move to my seat.

“Hope it wasn’t hard as well,” a male voice mouthed from the back where the students were and the next minutes the hall was filled with the laughter of the rest of them.

Tears well up in my eyes, but I blinked them back and waited to for the invigilator to give me my question. He gave me a sympathetic look, but said nothing before giving me my question papers. I collected them and made my way to my seat and began writing.

A part of me knew what the outcome of the exam was going to be, because I was barely done with my reading yesterday when I got the call and I’m super late to the exam and disorganized at the same time. The other part of me was optimistic and still hoped for the best.

I did my very best, but the results came out and my name wasn’t the last, but neither was it in the top three names. I was in the fifth place out of 37 of us.

It didn’t matter that I was in fifth place because I was much a failure as the one who took the last position.

I lost my chance at a scholarship, which also meant I was going to have to put my education on hold and I had a mother whose life was still hanging on a thread and also awaiting another surgery. I didn’t know where to begin with my grief and pain, and in that moment, I wished there was a way to make it all stop. I needed to make the pain stop. I was ready to do anything just to make helplessness and self pity. I had stopped, even if it meant entering a deal with the devil himself.

On my way home, I pondered upon the way my life had suddenly been brought to a horrible spot in less than 24 hours. I wonder if there was even any purpose to all this, if there was use for holding on and believing. I knew no one to call to or on; I knew no distant relative or uncles or aunts that could help and I was alone in this difficult time with hands tied down and nowhere to go.

I came home and searched through my drawer where I had tossed a card sent to me by Noah Castillo. He’d sent it, letting me know I still had 4 days to decide about his proposal. That was 10 days ago though. I knew the time to decide had expired, but I still had to give it a shot. It was the only hope I had.

After dialing the number on the card, I waited for him to pick, but he didn’t, not after the first ring, so I tried again, and this time he picked up.

“What do you want?” were the first words I heard on the phone. His voice was cold and unfriendly, but it also sounded victorious.

I knew he knew I was the one talking, how he knew I did not know, but I wasn’t ready to ask how or why, so instead, “I accept. Where can we meet and discuss?”

“Discuss what?”

“The terms of the deal you made the last time we met.” I explained further.

“The deal expired 6 days ago, I believe.” For someone who was sounding uninterested, he kept counting the days.

I felt a part of my heart squeeze a little for fear of losing the only and last hope I had. “Does it matter? I’m giving you what you want, me. So where can we meet? Is the last location we met okay?”

I didn’t have to see him to know he was smirking victoriously. After a long pause and me wondering if he’d turned off his phone, he replied, “Yeah it is, but I’d prefer you come to my house instead.”

I bit down on my lips and I grew edgy as my skin crawled in fear. “I don’t know where that is,” I quietly replied.

“I know, I’ll send for you.” He said before ending the call.

It wasn’t long before his driver came, but before they did, I was able to take my bath and change out of my yesterday’s clothes. I tried not to look too shabby or poor, but didn’t know what he was going to choose to see.

“He’s going to see everything, everything.” I muttered to myself as I stared at my mirror one last time, trying to have a good look at myself and save the memory down, as I feared they might be no memorable part of me left after this night.

I stepped out of my thought as the knock came on my door again and I walked over to the door and opened it.

There was a man in a black suit and red hair at the door. “I was instructed to bring you.” He said with a deep and frightening voice.

With a small nod, I followed him behind silently. We came to where the sophisticated black limo was parked and the man I was yet to know his name opened the door for me.

All my senses were against my decision. I knew it was going to be my death, but I had no choice, but this wasn’t two weeks ago when I had nothing to lose. I had everything to lose now and if there was a way to save them; I was going to do it.

The trip was silent, and I fiddled with my fingers throughout the journey and when we arrived at the destination, the driver opened the door for me and I came down from the limousine to stand in front of the magnificent, white coloured building.

“Follow me. He’s waiting for you.” The man said, and I followed him into the house.

Once inside, he directed me upstairs where there are different doors and he opens one and enters and I followed him still. He stepped away from in front of me and I saw Noah sitting in a chair at the other corner of the room with his laptop on his lap and he seemed to be invested in whatever it was he was doing on it to even look up at me.

The man that brought me silently excused himself and I was left alone in the large room with him. I didn’t want to look nervous or terrified, but that was so hard to pull off.

“You seemed nervous,” he pointed out, even though he wasn’t looking at me.

I shrugged. “I have every reason to be.”

“You do.” He agreed. “I’m drafting a new deal. A few things are going to have to change. I’m almost done.” He informed as he types on his laptop.

“Like what?”

“The nature of our business and arrangement. You’re no longer going to be my girlfriend cause I already have a girlfriend. You’re going to be my mistress. If you’d accepted the deal when I presented it to you, we wouldn’t be here changing things.” He said through gritted teeth, coldness laced in his voice, and he didn’t have to look at me for me to know I was going to pay dearly.

A lot of things didn’t sit right in me, like him having a girlfriend which made me the other woman, the relationship breaker, the bad one, and also becoming his mistress, someone no one would know about, someone who he could use the way he pleased and have no rejection from. I had to shut off my conscience and act as if I was okay with it, which was a lie, but it was what I needed to do to be able to live with myself.

“Oh,” I trailed off, and he glances up at me and I closed my mouth.

The coldness I felt in his voice was also on his face as he spoke. “Do you want to say something?”

“Am I still going to get the money you promised?” I asked, getting nervous immediately. I asked, but I knew I shouldn’t be because that was the reason I came.

“Why are you asking?” he asked as he stared back at the screen of his laptop.

I rubbed my sweaty palms together and tried not to tear up in his presence. “I need the money. My mom is in the hospital and-“

“You need me. I told you that two weeks ago, didn’t I?”

My stomach crawled, and I knew I was going to get sick of this question and answers, which I knew was a pure mockery of me, but I acted as though it wasn’t. “You did, and I do, so can you do that? Give me whatever I need?”

“What do you need?”

The first and most important need came rushing out of my mouth. “My mom's bill needs to be cleared so her surgery can take place.”

“Done. I’ll send men there right now to clear the bills.” He said, picking up his phone typing something on it.

“How would I know you’re telling the truth about doing it?”

He looked up at me with blank face, “When I say I’ll do something, I’ll do it, but since you want proof, I’ll give you one.” He replied and did something on the phone before dropping the phone.

It was easier than I even thought, but I wasn’t rejoicing yet. Only a fool would rejoice. “What do you want in return?”

“You,” he answered

My throat ran dry. “Okay, what do you want me to do?”

“First off, take off your clothes,” he replied, not bothered to look up at me.

I hesitated as I shivered with fear. I didn’t expect something different, but yet I was sacred as hell. It was my first, and it would not go as I pictured my first time would be anymore.

“What are you waiting for?”

“I’ve never done this before,” I reveal, and I could feel my cheeks burning up in pure embarrassment.

“Listen honey, this is Not Another Cinderella story and I’m definitely not Prince Charming. I think I liked you those weeks I brought you the deal, but I know I don’t anymore cause I like another. As it is, I should not be the one trying to please you. You are the one who should do that if you want this deal to hold. So take off your fucking clothes!” He thundered angrily, and I almost jumped out of my skin.

Tears ran down my eyes and I lowered my head as I unbuttoned my red shirt and once I had it undone, I pulled it off and let it fall, leaving me in my black bra. I unbelted my trousers and pulled it off before drawing down the zipper and taking it off and leaving me in my black panties.

“Take them all off and don’t fucking keep me waiting.”

I quickly pulled off my panties and bra and so I was naked in the centre of the room, waiting for his next order.

He takes the next moment to look at my body, his eyes claiming his prize, but I could see dissatisfaction in his eyes before he tore them off my skin to continue his work on his laptop.

“Get in bed.” He commanded, and I bit my lips and did as I was told, more tears running down my face and I kept wiping them off.

“All done.” He said, before getting up. “Now let’s hope this is all worth it.”

Just then, there came a knock on his door. “Come in.” He beckoned to the person knocking, not bothered that I was without clothes on his bed. I pulled my legs up and wrapped my arms around my legs and rested my chin on my knees. I was still naked, but some part of me where hidden from all eyes.

The door opened, and a man walked in. “Got your message, Mr Castillo.”

“Yeah.” he picked up the laptop from his desk and handed it over to the man, “have this printed out in the study. This is a nine-page file. Make sure each page is printed out in two parts.”

“Okay sir,” the man replied and began walking away.

“Oh one more thing,” Noah said, raising a finger up and the man turned to him, “look at Ms. Good and tell her what the message I sent you was.”

There was a little disapproving look on the man’s face, but he does as he was ordered and looked at me before saying, “He said to take care of your mom’s bill.” He said before walking out of the room.

“When I say I’ll do something, I do it; so don’t ever question me again.”

So when he said he was going to make me his completely, he meant it.

I was alone when I woke up the next morning, which was expected, as Noah had clearly told me my place in all this. I wasn’t an important piece. He didn’t need me; I needed him and he made sure I wasn’t going to forget that when he had his way with me and did as he pleased.

My body was aching, all over my thighs were sore and the pain I felt on me as tried to I sit up was much more.

I couldn’t stand myself in the morning, I felt ashamed, pathetic and horrible and I couldn’t console myself or tell myself it was worth it anymore.

Noah made sure he took every shred of dignity I had when he took me multiple times and different places and angles, some of which was against my wish and this was just the beginning, and it wasn’t going to get any better that was for sure.

He was right; he wasn’t Prince charming, and everything that happened was not another Cinderella story.

***