“All these things made me who I am”
~AWOL (I am)

Two days later

“Hey” Hadid waved at me on Skype and I waved back.

My cheeks were hurting from much smiling, but I couldn’t help it, I haven’t seen my best friend in two days and yes he’s been calling and I know getting to meet him in person is actually better, but seeing him in one piece was good enough to make me happy.

His hair was now black, which might not have been his decision since he’s always been red since I’ve known him. There were also a few traces of beards on his face. His eye colour was still blue, but dull and there were also red, I guess from much crying. He’s wearing a pink furry sweater, having a turtle neck.

“Hey! How are you?” I asked curiously.

“Good, good and you?” He asked.

I shrugged, “As always working, studying for the Oxford scholarship final. It’s tomorrow.” I told him.

The Oxford scholarship board was doing something different this year, and instead of picking the best like they usually use to, they were choosing to pick the best three among us all and award the scholarships according to their scores and position. I was not settling for less; I wanted to be the highest, of course, and I was dedicating my time to archiving just that.

We got the new scheme that we were to study with for the exam earlier this week and although my time at home was small; I put the best into it. I worked four out of six days this week and today I had to call and take a break in order to study and be fully prepared for tomorrow’s examination.

“You’re going to kill it,” he replied with much assurance and conviction in his voice.

My eyes narrowed at him. “How’s home?”

“It’s like always,” he flashed me a smile that we both knew wasn’t from his heart.

My heart squeezed in my chest. “Is he giving you much trouble? Your hair is now black. Did you change it because of him?”

“I don’t want to talk about him now,” he said, his expression going weak and mournful.

It hurt me that Hadid was still getting bullied and abused by his father. It felt wrong in all parts of me because it was wrong. Hadid was old enough to have his own life, old enough to make his own decision, and yet he was being shoved around by a man who despised and hated him.

“I long to see the day you finally stand up to him, punch his face, knock him out or something. You’re gonna have to or this maltreatment won’t stop.” I honestly said, as I stared at him through the screen.

He nodded and sighed in defeat. “It’s not what mom would have wanted,” he trailed off.

I signed as well, and I had to admit it wasn’t “You’re right, but she would have defended you, never let and fucking excuse of a father lay his hands on you or put you down.”

“I know,” he agreed. “How’s things been in my absence?” He asked, changing the subject.

“Great, miss you a lot,” I admitted. “Remember, I told you mom came to apologise?” When he nodded, I continued, “well since two days now she’s been coming around.”

His brow raised in suspicion. “Do you think it’s that a good thing or bad thing?”

I shrugged. “She’s been quite different. I don’t want to think it, but I do like how we are now. Like she’s never been that way with me before and now she’s striving to.”

“I’m happy for you. Hope you know that.”

“I know, and I love you. I hope to see you soon, Ad.”

“Love you too. We’ll see again soon, soon.” He assured.

“Take care of yourself, Ad,” I said, placing my palm on the screen of my laptop.

He placed his hand on the screen of his own laptop. “I will, you should too.”

I smiled, and he smiled back. “Later, then.”

Later in the day, Felicity came over. She wanted to see if I needed something done, as I’ve been tied down with much reading.

“Still reading?” she asked as she walked in to see my bed filled with books, pen, notepad and textbook. She sat down and picked one textbook up and looked at it.

I walked to my bed and sat down. “It’s tomorrow. Got to be ready for it m—” I was about to say mom when I stopped myself. She knew it too and there was a little hurt displayed on her face even as she tried to mask it up with a bright smile. I knew she was fighting to change for me, at least that’s what I think, but calling her mom doesn’t seem normal as I haven’t called her that in a long time.

“It’s okay Avril, I understand. I won’t try to lie, but I look forward to the day you’ll address me as mom and mean it again.”

I nodded, “Me too.”

“I wish you the very best in the exams tomorrow.”

“Thanks.” I stared at her for a moment before looking down. She was wearing a black skirt and blue long sleeve with its buttons properly done and her face holding a moderate makeup on. Her hair was tied into a ponytail and she looked all too formal that I couldn’t help but ask, “where are you coming from?” I asked, looking up from the textbook in my hand.

“Remember the PA job I applied for yesterday?” I nodded, and she continued, “well I was called in, and I got the job. I start tomorrow!”

“Really?” She nodded, grinning from cheeks to cheeks. I got down from the bed and walked to her. “I’m so proud of you, mom.”

I said it and I really meant it. If she was out to find something for herself, then I couldn’t be more proud and happy for her. She’d never worked before and I knew it was going to be challenging, but I trusted that she’d do well there.

Tears rolled down her face. “When I came to ask for your forgiveness, I didn’t even think you’d take me back, but you did, and you gave me up even when I didn’t deserve it. Your father was right. You’re nothing like me, you’re just like him, and I’m glad you are. Thank you for the opportunity you’ve given to me to be your mom. It means a lot, and I promise I won’t let you down.”

I wiped off her tears and wrapped my arms around her for a hug. “I trust you won’t.”

“I should leave you to study,” she said as she pulled away from me.

I nodded, “Okay, take care of yourself, mom.”

“I’ll try, and you too, child.”

For the next three hours, I was buried in my books, reading and going through all pages to further broaden my reading. I read a lot, and a lot was still left to read through. The time was 7:30, and I was feeling hungry and needed something to eat and I made my way over to the side of the room where the kitchen was. I opened my mini fridge and brought out the margarine and bread. I put them down on the counter and I could grab the eggs and begin my journey to making a toast, when my phone rang.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and glanced at the caller ID and I saw mom’s name on the screen and I frowned down at my phone. I answered and placed the phone to my ear while I went to grab the eggs.

“Hello, mom?”

Instead of my mom’s voice, I heard another, “Sorry, that not me. I’m calling from St Adams’ general hospital.” Replied the caller, “This number was on the emergency numbers register on this phone by the owner.”

Emergency number? Something was up and I knew it.

“What happened to her and why is she in the hospital?” My voice was trembling and my heart hammering against my chest even as I asked this question and feared for the worse.

“She was involved in a hit and run.” that was the last thing I heard before grabbing my purse from the shelf and running out of the room.

I took a taxi as fast as I could and made to the St Adams general hospital which the caller had called for me earlier. It was a 25-minute ride and once I arrived there; I got down and paid the driver before hurrying inside.

“I need to see the woman rushed in here a while ago. The hit and run one.” I said to one of the lady nurses standing behind the counter as I came up to them and she looked at me.

After forever of looking at me like I was an alien, she spoke, “What’s your relationship with the patient?”

“I’m her daughter!” I snapped, a little too stressed out to be going through question segments.

“We’ll need you to fill out some information about the patient and we’ll need to see her health insurance.” She said, giving me a file and a pen.

My head hurt that moment because my request wasn’t even answered and here she was giving another instruction.

“For fuck’s sake! Where’s my mom?!” I snapped and a few other nurses stared our way.

“She’s in the ER, she was rushed in with a cracked skull and other major ordeals. The doctors are preparing her for surgery as we speak. She’s in ward 17c. Come, I’ll show you.” Another nurse replied, walking towards the hallway and I followed behind her silently.

I hurried my step behind her over to the room where my mom was in. It was a see through glass proof wall so I could see her and the few doctors around her.

Her face looked pale and although I suspected she must have been cleaned already, she had a few cuts and bruises on the part of her exposed face.

Tears ran down my eyes and I whimpered weakly as I tore my eyes away from them and made my way to the waiting area, taking my sit as soon as I came to the long-armed chair.

Why was this happening to me? Why was I losing everyone close to me? First Angela and then Hadid had to leave, now mom?

I didn’t know how long I cried for, but when I wiped my tears, I saw the same nurse that brought me to the ward standing beside me, trying to give what I think was the sympathetic look. In her hand was the file that was handed to me, the file that the other nurse was holding earlier.

“We’ll need information about her, so you have to fill out this form. Please carefully fill out her name, age, address and the other information needed.”

I chewed my bottom lips and collected the file on the plate which she was handing me and I quickly filled the information and handed it over to her.

“Does she have health insurance?”

I shook my head. “No, she doesn’t.” I replied, before adding, “I’ll pay the bills.”

“We’ll need your bank details listed here then,” she said, pointing at the lower part of the document.

Without a word, I filled in the form. “Please, just save her.”

“Where is she?” I heard a deep voice ask, and I turned to see Alex walking over to the counter where I was earlier.

My cheeks heated in rage and all the heartache and agony I was feeling in the last few moments turned into fury and I stormed over to where he was with the nurses, who were trying to calm him down.

“What do you want here?!” I demanded, gritting my teeth so I didn’t end up yelling at him and causing a scene.

He turned to me and his grey eyes softened. “I got a call telling me City was involved in a hit and run. I came as fast as I could.”

I rolled my eyes in irritation, “Well you can leave now, you’re not needed here and like you’ve always known, I do not want to see you.”

“I know we have our differences, but I care about your mom and we ended things on the wrong foot.”

“You need to leave Alex. Go away before I do something we’ll both regret.”

He nodded and stepped back, “I’ll go, but I’ll be back cause I need to see her.” He said, before turning and walking away.

......
The surgery was scheduled to take place at 1:30 am, but at the last moment was shifted to 6 a.m. instead, because the surgeon they had called on was yet to come. I was then left with no other choice but to wait and pray that all was going to be fine.

I was awake the next half hour and only found sleep at 2 a.m. in the hall, where I could find a little quietness.

When I opened my eyes again, the whole place was rowdy and there was a man sitting beside me, wearing a brown leather jacket and a blue jean on brown boots.

I wipe my mouth of the little drool I felt on it and I looked at the man beside me and waved at him a little. He waved back, “Had a good sleep?”

I shook my head as I rubbed my eyes. “I don’t even know what that means now.”

Just then the whole happening of last night rushed back to me and I realised it wasn’t just a bad dream, it was a reality.

I got up and approached the doctors, some of whom I remember from last night standing before the door of a ward with the tag 21a, and I approached them.

Once the surgeons whose name was Paul saw me, he excused himself from the other doctor and approached me.

“I thought you went home.” He told me as he stared at me with dimmed eyes.

“I slept in the hall.” I replied, clearing up his curiosity.

“Come with me to my office, please.”

I didn’t like the tone or where I thought the conversation was going, but I followed him into his office. Once inside, he closed the door and offered me a seat and I sat, waiting for him to speak.

“I’ve got some good news and some bad news,” he told me.

Although he said there is a good news, I think it was too earlier for a bad news, but then again I was in a hospital, bad things happen every day here.

“Can I have both at once?” I requested, not wanting to go through the torture of taking one after another.

“Your mom is stable now. We were able to stop all internal bleeding and there might be hope for her spine to heal up on its own and she might be able to walk again.”

I knew that was the good news, so I braced myself and waited for the worse.

“We couldn’t proceed with the scalp surgery though—” he continued to say, but I didn’t let him completely his words because again my heart hurt and again it was consumed with grief and sadness.

“Why? The surgeon still couldn’t make it?”

“He did,” he answered. “We found a growth in her head, beside her brain. Like I said, she’s stable, but we are gonna need to have it removed it before closing up her skull. If we close it without removing it, the risk is high and she might not make it when we open her scalp the second time to remove the growth.”

“Go on then, do the surgery,” I told him. “Where do I sign?”

“It’s gonna cost more—” he trailed off.

I bit my lips and nodded, but the sad truth was I had no more money left in my account after I made the transaction yesterday.

So much has happened in the past 12 hours, some of which I wasn’t even prepared for. By this time yesterday, all that was on my mind was studying and preparing for the last exam.

My heart skipped a beat. The EXAM was supposed to take place today.

“What’s wrong?” Paul asked, probably seeing the alarming look on my face.

‘What time is it?”

“8:27am.” He answered after glancing at his wristwatch, “But the day is still young. Is there somewhere or something important you need to do?”

I was taking the Oxford scholarship exams today, and I was already 27 minutes late for it and not closed to prepared.

I ran up immediately and he got up also, “What’s wrong?” He asked again, this time a little worried.

“I’ve got to go!” I told him before hurrying out of the hospital.

***