“Lately I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep, dreaming about the things that we could be.”
Counting stars~ by One republic

My lips part as a gasp escapes and I step further away from Wesley.

Noah and I haven’t seen each other in a while, because he’s been gone on a business trip and about three weeks ago when he was leaving, he asked me to come with him. I told him no and gave him a lot of excuses to not go. We had sex a few times that day before he left. He called as he was away and most times I’d send his calls to voicemail. I was happy to be rid of him, even if it was for a few weeks and I had that peace.

Our relationship was not really on the smooth part before he left and nor was it on a rough path. He wasn’t as violent as he used to be, maybe because he knew being his girlfriend meant going out from time to time and he didn’t want to parade a bruised-up girlfriend to the world courtesy of him. He also didn’t shove Luke down my throat either. We acted like the stunts he pulled by, inviting Luke to be the third wheel never happened and we seem to do a grand act. But he still forces himself to me whenever I’m reluctant or say no. I guess no has ever really been in his dictionary before so he doesn’t know what that means. He doesn’t ask if I’m okay or like the angles or the spanking or anything and if he asks; it is so he can increase whatever he’s doing. All he seems to care about has always and will always remain his cock.

Seeing him leaning against the door makes my heart beat rapidly. I didn’t think he’d be back today. Now he is back, standing in my kitchen in his grey, three pieces suit and a distant look in his blue eyes coupled with a facial expression I can’t quite place.

“Noah, w-what? Ho-how?” I stutter unintelligently, my nerves a complete wreck.

He steps away from the door, “If you’re asking what I’m doing here, well I came to see my girlfriend and didn’t realise I needed a reason to do that, and how I got in? Your front door was open, so I let myself in. Hope you don’t mind.”

I turn to Wesley and then to him, “Noah, it’s not what it looks like.”

“What? Trying to help a friend figure out if he’s gay or just curious?” He asks and stuffs his hands into the pocket of his trousers.

“I should probably leave you two alone,” Wesley says and walks out of the kitchen.

Noah doesn’t glance at him or speak to him. His eyes and attention are fixed on me, and to be honest, I am freaking out.

“If I didn’t overhear the conversion, I’d say you were moving on.”

I bite down on my lips. “I’m not.”

“But it must have crossed your mind, though, right?” He points to the door as if Wesley is there, “He’s hot, I’d fuck him if he was my roommate, so why haven’t you?”

“He’s not my type,” I answer, saying the first thing that comes to my head.

His brow cocks with interest, “So if I asked him to join us and be the third party in our sex life, you’re gonna say no?” He asks, and he seems to have more fun with this than he should.

“I’d say thanks for the offer, but I’ll pass,” I reply, turning and picking up the glass of water and emptying the hole into my mouth before dropping the empty glass on the counter.

“How was your trip?” I ask, turning back to him.

“You’ve never asked in the past before. So why now?”

I shrugged, not sure of the answer to give. “I didn’t want to know before. I want to know.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. Look, if you will not tell me, then fine, just don’t batter me with questions!”

“It was okay, thanks for asking and I see a lot has happened in my absence, too.”

“I’m sorry about earlier—” I start my apology again.

“That’s not what I’m talking about,” he counters, cutting me off. “I’m talking about Felicity.”

My mouth forms a silent ‘o’ as I stare at him. “So it’s true she’s getting married.”

I nod, “Yeah.” Then my brows pull together as I wonder how he knew.

“And I had to find out from Mr Joe when you didn’t show up for class? Classes were the excuse you gave me three weeks ago when I asked you to come with me to Brazil.”

“I know. I didn’t think you’d be interested in my family issues.”

“You’re kidding me? She’s your mother and I’m your boyfriend, with means she’s also like my mother.” He pauses for a while, as if rethinking. “Now saying it out loud it doesn’t sound right.”

Sometimes I wonder if I’m dating a man or something else.

“It doesn’t because then you’d have to see Alex as your other dad and you’re much older than him.”

“I am not that old, you know,” he points out, moving even closer.

“How old are you again? I forgot 40?”

“Haha, hilarious. I missed that mouth of yours, you know?” He pulls me closer so that our bodies press against each other, “I kept wondering when I’d get back home.”

“You’re home now.” I point out.

“And I’m glad.” He almost takes my lips in his when he pauses, “thinking about it, you know I’ve never been here before.”

“Want me to show you around?” I ask.

This is the first time I’ve seen a genuine smile on Noah’s face, and it looks pretty weird about it. “That does not sound like a terrible suggestion.”

The smile becomes one-sided, and he takes my hand. Once out of the kitchen, we walk upstairs together and when we get to my room, Noah lets go of my hand and wraps them around my waist.

“I missed you.” He murmurs into my hair, his hands moving behind me to slow-cup my butt.

I almost yelp and escape his hold, but his hands are too tight around me and would not permit an escape.

I sigh, “Three weeks is a long time.” but not long enough. I mumble the rest part to myself.

“You didn’t miss me, did you?” His voice is curious but stained with sadness and turns me to look at him.

“We’ve been at it before and you’re asking again?”

“We’ve been good before the trip. You’ve been happy.”

I agree to an extent that we were, but I just don’t know if I miss him.

“Happy would have been if I wasn’t in a relationship with a man based on a six months contract, so as you can see, I’m nowhere close to happy.”

“Then I believe you’re counting down your last days as my girlfriend.” It surprises me that there is a hint of pain in his tone and that catches me off guard.

“Not literally, but being able to be free again gives me great joy, though,” I admit.

His teeth clench, “Choices like fucking your roommate.” He bites out under his breath, but I hear him.

“He’s not...”

He doesn’t let me finish before he speaks. “Your type,” he nods. "You’ve said that before, but he’s not lurking around here, Avril, you don’t have to lie to me, too. I saw your eyes, I saw the way you looked at him even before his lips were on yours. So don’t deny it.”

My throat runs dry and I swallow shakily. If this was the truth he was buying, then I was ready to sell it well to him.

“I was helping him. I’ve been careful to keep to our agreement.” I defend myself.

“I know,” he murmurs, and he kisses my lips deeply, then turns me around so my back is turned to him. Then he presses his lower body against mine before lowering his head to kiss my neck softly and leaving poisoning kisses thereon. My hand finds his hair and tugs on it.

“This wasn’t part of the plan I know, but I’ve grown fond of you. Not just because of the sex... Well, it started with just sex, but now I want more.”

The thought of more sends a bad vibe through my body and it kills off any form of arousal that had built up. “Stop talking, please.” I plead.

“Why? It’s the truth.”

“Well, I don’t believe it, Noah. You don’t care about me, never have and never will. So please stop talking.”

He pauses. “I care about you. Maybe at first I didn’t, but I do. I’m not the guy that displays his emotions for all to see. I’m reserved and would always keep it to myself, but that doesn’t mean I’m heartless. I thought you’d know that by now.”

I know that, but it doesn’t mean I believe it. “Noah, why don’t you just do what you came here for and get on with it?”

“Take off your clothes.” He steps back and says.

I unzip my brown sweater and pull it off, leaving me in just my white bra. Then I pull off my brown leggings and red pants all at once, then I stand straight to unhook my bra before pulling it off.

He didn’t hesitate to claim what was his, and he claimed it was hard. This was significantly better than talking, and we both needed it. It didn’t make it easier on my body though because there were aches in almost every part, even before he left.

***
There’s a slight knock on the door, but before I can bring myself to ask who it is, it’s pushed back and Wesley walks in the next seconds.

“I’m sorry,” Wesley says as he walks towards my bed.

I’m still in bed, although Noah has been gone for more than an hour now. I couldn’t bring myself to get up. There was no point in it.

I sit down. “You don’t have to say that.”

“I pushed you to kiss me. I convinced you it was okay and believe me, if I knew he was going to return today, I would have stayed away.”

“Well, you could have, but I’m pretty sure it would not have mattered because it’s Noah. We do not get along at all. Plus, it’s all in the past now.”

“Hope he didn’t hurt you because of it. He might have said he overheard us, but I know jealousy when I see one.”

I flash him what I think is a smile. “He’s done worse. But moving on, what do you think after the kiss? Are you moving on now or not?”

He sits down on the bed beside me. “There was a spark when we kissed. I just don’t know if it’s for you or just for girls.” I open my mouth to speak, but he continues. “I know there’s no we. I overheard you telling Noah I wasn’t your type earlier, but it’s nice to know Hadid isn’t the only one I’m cursed with.”

“Well, at least now we know you still have a shot with girls, that’s all that matters,” I say and rub his arm close to me.

He nods, “Yeah. Thanks once again.”