“I know you bring me to my knees. I know you’re way out of my league.”
~Jon McLaughlin (I want you anyway)

After eating, we make our way back to my place where Ad hopes to stay till the morning. It was one room, but I’ve got the couch and the bed so even though it isn’t as comfortable, it’s a good place to start.

Hadid had said nothing since I told him about Luke about thirty minutes ago and something tells me he wants to say more than silence and I don’t know if I should be happy he’s silent or sad.

“Have you seen or spoken to him since then?” He finally asks as we walk down the side of the road.

“No,” I shake my head, “not since I asked him to leave. I’m grateful he didn’t go confronting or telling Noah about it.”

He carefully stares at me before asking, “How do you know he hasn’t told Noah?”

I take a deep breath and bite down on my lips. “I would have known. I may not know much about Noah, but he is a jealous idiot-“

I barely get to complete my words when I see Brandon walking towards us. Brandon was one of those people who believes that if you don’t like or get along with them, you can’t like or get along with anyone else. He was a nightmare when I first started at Leeds and I only got him to back off after threatening to burn down his parent’s home. Now it sounds like a monstrous thing to have said to someone, but it was the only thing he believes and I made him believe it to cause I was willing to do it. It’s not like he isn’t a pain in the ass anymore, it’s just that I don’t give him much attention anymore.

“What are you ladies talking about?” Brandon asks as he catches up to us, and my eyes roll as once again he comes to annoy me with his presence. “

“None of your business. Leave me alone.” I seethe at him, not bothered to look at him as we continue our journey.

Ignoring that his presence is not wanted around, he joins the walk. “Got a new boyfriend now? Is that it?” he demands.

“She said to leave her alone!” Ad snaps and Brandon turns to look at him.

“Shh girl, no one called you into this.” He raises a silencing finger at Ad, “So, is there still a guy?”

“Yes, there’s a new one, your dad. And if you ever come close to me, I’ll seduce your father and make him marry me and become your mom.”

He halts and takes a step away from us without saying another word. We keep walking away and knowing he isn’t following me anymore is such a relief.

“Well, that was fast,” Ad breathes out as he looks back and probably sees Brandon no longer following us. “What you told him was wicked!”

I groan before honestly revealing to him, “I meant it though.”

“What?”

I roll my eyes, “Don’t give me that look. He’s a pain to both of us.”

“Yeah, but marrying his dad to spite him? That’s unlike the Avril I knew.”

“The Avril you knew was a virgin, with good grades and a bright future and she was a good girl, but that’s not the Avril you’re talking to now. Most days I look at myself in the mirror and I don’t know who I see and it’s not just another joke, that’s going to go away, it’s the reality I live in.”

“I’d like to think she’s in there somewhere still.” He mumbles quietly as we get to the door.

“She’s not,” I answer and open the door before stepping inside.

Once inside, I turn on the light and the room comes to life. I walk to my desk at the side of the room and drop my books before walking to the corner where the kitchen is. The ad does justice with his bag and soon joins me in the kitchen to help.

“You’re hungry?” He asks as I pour the oil into the frying pan.

“No, for later,” I respond, taking three eggs out from the glass bowl their rest are in.

“Your contract says while Noah gets to have you as he wants, you get to have anything you want, so why are you still in this small apartment where you can barely move your feet?”

“It’s not small and I can move my feet,” I point out as I stir the egg after tossing four tomatoes and pepper in a bowl towards him.

He rolls his eyes, picks up a knife, and chops. “You damn well know what I mean.”

I nod cause I do, “I do. And you are right, I should ask for a bigger apartment and a car and maids and cooks and servants because I can.”

“Then why haven’t you?”

“Because this place reminds me of the little piece of myself that’s left. It reminds me of how peaceful I once was before all this.”

He finishes and hands me the bowl with a perfectly sliced tomato, and I pour it into the frying pan. I stir the tomato for a while as it fries. “I’d like to think a part of me is still not for sale.”

“All of you are not for sale, Avril, the only reason you did what you did is that the choice was taken from you. There’s a difference.”

“Everyone has a reason for everything they do, Ad?” I counter.

“And how many do it to save the life of their dying mothers?” He asks with a strong point.

My lips purse as I reason his question and I’m lost for words of reply, “You argue well Ad, I’m seeing why you chose law.” I say as I pour the egg into the tomato on fire and continue to stir.

Once we finish with the egg sauce, we leave the potato cooking on the gas cooker while we retreat to the room.

There comes a knock on my door and Hadid turns to me with a raised brow as he silently asks who it is.

I shrug at the question and give him a clueless look. “I am not expecting anyone, if that’s what you’re trying to ask.”

“Then who the hell is knocking?!” He exclaims and walks back into the kitchen. I glare at him before walking to the door and opening it.

I’m left dumbstruck in my position as I stare at Luke on my doorstep. His brown eyes look alive and beautiful as ever and his blonde hair is in a neat bun. He’s in blue jeans and a white T-shirt that seems to hug his body in all the right places. He looks sceptical, and almost as if he isn’t sure what he’s doing at my place.

I also do not know why I’m stuck in the same spot or why I have been speechless or why he had said nothing either, and I find it hard to breathe with the many thoughts in my head.

“Is he the good one or the monster?” Ad’s voice breaks me out of my state of hypnotism to hear his question and my eyes widen as I turn to look at him with a what the hell look.

“What?” He asks with a roll of his eyes. “It’s not like I’m lying. He has to be one of the two options.”

“I’d like to think that I’m not a monster.” Came Luke’s response. I am, again, remained that he had probably heard Hadid’s question.

I turn to him and I’m grateful that I find my voice to ask, “What do you want?”

He raises his hands, probably to show he means no harm.1 “I just want to talk.” He assures.

“I’ll leave you two alone, then?” Ad voices in and I watch him walk.... more of a squeeze past us to go outside even though all I want him to do now is stay and allow me to hold on to him.

“You’re still yet to invite me in,” Luke informs loudly enough for me to hear.

“I don’t think I should,” I reply, “and you might look like your brother, but I only know him.”

He presses his lips together and nods. “I get it. Noah would probably get mad at you.”

“Why are you here?!” I demand, getting fed up immediately he calls Noah’s name.

His brows draw together with a little confusion, and frustration appears on his face. “Are you going to keep me outside? I’d like to think that’s not the type of person you are. If you’re afraid I’m going to hurt you, then don’t, because I won’t.”

I step aside from the door and he enters but before he can say anything I do, “First off, you don’t know the type of person who I am and second, I’m not afraid of you.”

“Good.” He breathes down in relief, and I see his body relax. “Then this would be easy.”

“What?”

“I’ll be heading the campaign along with the top five Leeds stars and you’re the leader, meaning I’ll get to spend more time with you. I just wanted to clear off anything that might awkwardness during the campaign.”

I walk to the kitchen where the potato is on fire. “Why would there be any awkwardness during the campaign?” The fact that I can still talk and breathe while being in the same atmosphere as him is a miracle, and I try to make my words and expression as believable as possible.

I watch him enter the kitchen with his lips pursed and his brows furrowed, and he forces a smile even though his face is filled with indecisions, “Something happened between us.” He answers and I think he is trying to convince himself more than me.

“That’s what you would want to believe. I’d beg to differ.” I open the pot and the smoke from the pot engulfs me.

“I know you are scared of Noah—”

I loudly slam the cover down, partly from the burn of the pot cover against my hand and because of his words. “You know nothing, Mr Castillo. If you did, you’d know I don’t fear your brother, not anymore,” I said the last part to myself as I turned to him.

He rubs his chin with his right hand before stuffing his hands into his jean, “You hate him,” he said, not a bit of surprise in his voice.

“And I don’t like you. Your point is?” I ask and I immediately regret that lie.

There is a glimpse of pain in his eyes as I say this, but he shakes it off to say, “Fair enough.”

The kitchen goes silent for a short while and I felt the awkwardness dawn on us. “As for the awkwardness during the campaign, I promise that there would be none.”

“I trust there won’t be. You’re smart and you always mean what you say.”

I can let his words sink in and feel like a fool, or I can ask that has been on my mind for weeks now. “Why haven’t you told Noah about it?”

“Because I know he’s going to get angry and he won’t be able to carry out his anger on me.”

“You think he’d hurt me again?” I ask, although the truth is obvious and we both seem to know it.

“I know he always hurt you. I saw the marks on your skin. L,” he takes a step closer and I step back and my back hits the stove, “if he does that for pleasure, what would he do to hurt you?”

I swallow shakily because I know Luke is right. If this is a pleasure for him, how would pain feel like?

I’m not so sure about brains, but Luke has a heart, a big heart, and he’s proved once more that he’s not bad. But right now, all I want is for him to leave, because the longer he stays, the weaker I become.

“You’re right, I’m a stranger to you and I know little about you either, so I get why you would feel uneasy, but I hope you’d get to know me better.”

I wonder why he’d want that. The question I ask myself every night I say in bed and think about Luke. I wonder why. I wonder why Noah and Luke had to walk into my life when they did. I wonder why Luke still wants to reach out with everything he knows, and I wonder why I want him to kiss me on the lips now.

My eyes drop to the floor. “Hope is the last thing I want, Mr Castillo.”

“One last thing. You don’t have to be so formal when you address me.”

My eyes narrow as they stare up at him, “It’s expected of us, it’s unethical to not”

He rubs his forehead briefly, “I already told Mr Joe and the rest of the board that, unlike Noah, formality makes my skin crawl, so unless you want me campaigning with a crawling skin, you and the rest will have to drop the formality.”

I sigh in defeat and nod. “Okay, then we will try our best.”

A wide smile ghost on his face and his dimples appear, “That’s good to hear then. I’ll see you around.”

He nods and walks over to the door, and I follow him behind out of the kitchen. He grabs the doorknob, but instead of opening the door, he pauses. “I don’t regret what happened between us Ms Good, I still think about it... us and it’s one of the best experiences I’ve ever had in my life to me.”

I scoff and almost roll my eyes. “If getting and receiving oral from someone you barely know is one of the best experiences you’ve had, then your life must be boring.”

I do not know where the poisons called words are coming from and I know the words I’m saying are hurting him, but I have no choice. I can’t stand to look at him without remembering what happened between us months ago and how badly I still want to have it happen again, and that is not what we both need now.

Instead of getting pissed as he should, he chuckles, “You’d be surprised that it is and I’m so glad you changed my bored-filled life even though it was just an hour. It’s one of the true and best things that has ever happened to me.” He says again. “If I could go back, I still won’t change a thing.”

“Well, I would, and I think you should go now, please.”

****