Chapter 13

A/N: We have arrived at Ch 13. Rachel and Sebastian definitely have things to sort out before he is due to leave for deployment. The song used is "If I didn't believe in you". I obviously changed a few things to fit the story. The version I chose was Grant Gustin's vocals. I will include the link so you can listen. Grant has an amazing voice. I still wish he & lea had been given a duet on Glee. Two powerful Broadway voices.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Warning Mature Material/Smut in this chapter.

Since Sebastian returned to the loft, he and Rachel have not left one another's side. Sebastian knows its also because he has procrastinated his decision to whether or not join his troop when they leave for deployment or to stay with Rachel and enjoy Civilian life. Why can't he have both? He doesn't want to leave her, but he also has a job to do. He has loyalty to his country, to his battalion, Thad, and most importantly himself. To say he wasn't scared would be an understatement.

If he decided to go, would Rachel be willing to wait for me. Would it be fair to make her wait? He would hate to ruin her life making her wait for someone who may or may not come. Plus, he couldn't just not be there to protect his best friend, Thad,.and team. Sebastian never really knew loyalty until he joined the Military. It definitely turned his life around in a positive way. He is going to have to really sit down with Rachel and talk to her about this. He really imagined a life with her, and hr wants honesty and open communication.

Rachel had just returned from school,.and saw Sebastian sitting on the couch in deep thought. She doesn't even think he realized she was home yet. She quietly walked up begin him, wrapping her arms around his neck kissing his cheek.

Rachel: Hey

Sebastian: Hey love *kisses her back*

Rachel: Are you okay? You seem troubled sweetie.

Sebastian: I just have alot on my mind and not sure what is the right decision.

Rachel: Is this about leaving for deployment?

Sebastian: Yes...I'm worried that if I choose to go that I'll lose you or you think I'm bailing on you again which isn't true at all. But, if i don't go I'll be letting others down. Thad and my troop are all going. I couldn't live with myself if something had happened and I wasn't there.

Rachel: *sigh* I know that we really need to discuss this. I, of course, don't want you to go but I don't control you. I knew you were a Soldier when I met you and knew what I've gotten myself into. Do I want it to effect us? No, but I do understand if you do go. You have a duty. It would be the same way if you were here and were a police officer or firefighter or something.

Sebastian: But what about us? Will you be waiting for me and is it fair to make you wait?

Rachel: I don't want you to go! I don't want you to disappear or killed?!

Sebastian: Rachel...

(A/N): I Didn't Believe in You Lyrics
The Last 5 Years Soundtrack Lyrics
watch?v=-Dn_BBOOsyA

(Sebastian )
Okay, stop
Rachel, stop
Listen to me

Can we please for a minute stop blaming
And say what you feel?
Is it just that you're disappointed?
Did you think this would all be much easier
Than it's turned out to be?
Well, then talk to me, Rachel
Talk to me

If I didn't believe in you
We'd never have gotten this far
If I didn't believe in you
And all of the ten thousand women you are
If I didn't think you could do
Anything you ever wanted to
If I wasn't certain that you'd come through somehow
THe fact of the matter is, Rachel
I wouldn't be standing here now

If I didn't believe in you
We wouldn't be having this fight
If I didn't believe in you
I'd walk out the door and say,
"Rachel, you're right"
But I never could let that go
Knowing the things about you I know
Things, when I met you four years ago, I knew
It never took much convincing
To make me believe in you

Don't we get to be happy, Rachel?
At some point down the line

Don't we get to relax?

To push me yet further from you?
If I'm cheering on your side, Rachel
Why can't you support mine?
Why do I have to feel
I've committed some felony
Doing what I always swore I would do?

I don't want you to hurt
I don't want you to sink
But you know what I think?
I think you'll be fine!
Just hang on and you'll see-
But don't make me wait till you do
To be happy with you
Will you listen to me?
No one can give you courage
No one can thicken your skin
I will not fail so you can be comfortable, Rachel
I will not lose because you can't win

If I didn't believe in your
Then here's where the travelogue ends
If I didn't believe in you
I couldn't have stood before all of our friends
And said, "This is the life I choose-
This is the thing I can't bear to lose
Trip us or trap us, but we refuse to fall"
That's what I thought we agreed on, Rachel
If I hadn't believed in you
I wouldn't have loved you at all

Now why don't you put your dress on and we'll go, okay?
Rachel?
Can we just do that please?
Please?!

Rachel: Sebastian, you have my heart. I'd wait a lifetime for you. I think you should do what's best. Plus you're still in the Army so really you don't have a choice at the moment. I just have one request when you go..

Sebastian: What's that?

Rachel: Come Home Safe.

Sebastian: You are simply amazing. Lets go out to dinner and a movie. I have to leave morning.

Rachel: I want to be there when you leave.

Sebastian: No,.Rachel I can't let you do that or put you through pain like that, baby.

Rachel: Sebastian, I'm gonna be there. Whether you like it or not, you're not getting rid of me that easily.

Sebastian: Yes..wow you're sexy when you get Bossy.

Rachel: *smacks him* shut up.

Sebastian: Yes ma'am. * leans kiss her*

Rachel: Wait...can we just stay in? If you're leaving tomorrow, I want to spend every moment I have with you showing you what you will miss, and make you come home to me.

Sebastian: *grabs her hand* lead the way beautiful.

Rachel: Oh I will definitely lead the way...

Rachel and Sebastian go back to her room, ordered Chinese, watched a movie, and made love over and over. Hours later, Rachel laid on bed afraid of letting him go, but she knows she needs to trust him and be supportive. She is so proud of him, and she wants him to be safe. She can see how conflicted he was trying to be loyal to everyone. There's no doubt where she belongs, Her heart is connected to his. It was late, and their moments are coming to a close...for now. She has a feeling he'd go to the end of the World for her. She felt the same. Rachel wrapped blankets over them since it was a bit cold. She kissed his lips softly, and Sebastian smiled in his sleep.

Sebastian:*whispering * I love you, Rachel.

Rachel: I love you more, Sebastian, so much.

Sebastian: I said it first. * he chuckled*

Rachel: Go to sleep, lover boy.

The next morning...

Sebastian had awakened to someone kneeling over him, giving him pleasure. "Rach", he moaned. Dsmn, what a way to wake up. He thought. He watched her take every inch into her beautiful lips. He remembered her mentioning no gag reflex. "Shit Rachel." She hummed around him until he soon exploded. She smiled. "I figured id give you something to remember me by.", she said, grinning.

Sebastian flipped her over, until he was on top. " I guess its my turn to return the favor baby." He kissed her hard, crashing their lips together, while he pleasured her til he was driving her crazy. "Oh my god, Sebastian, please!" She cried. He wasted no time. He positioned himself, and slowly thrusted inside of her, pulling out then slam back into her again and again.

"Ohhhhhh Seb, I'm gonna cum Now! So close!" She screamed, until they both exploded at the same time. Each time they made love was better and hotter.

After resting, Sebastian knew it was time to get going. Can he really leave her?!

Rachel: Sebastian, I know what you're , as I said earlier, we will be okay. Just come home!

Sebastian: * I just want to be able to have it all without having to decide. Time to shower now. Come with me so I can have one last memory before I go.

Rachel: It wont be your last memory.

They showered together, had breakfast, and got Sebastian's luggage to head to airport. Rachel was holding back the tears. He had his uniform on. Once he is deployed or on his mission he told Rachel he can't have his cellphone on him. Basically for Safety reasons. He will try to keep in touch when mission will be dangerous but he has to stay focused and be careful. No drama basically.

He went to check in at the USO office at the airport. Once Sebastian got everything, he knew he would have to leave her behind while he goes through security. Rachel did not let go of his hand. She was trying to hold back her tears, trying to be brave. He did exact same didn't want to say goodbye.

Rachel: You do realize I can read your thoughts. While you're gone, I forgot to tell you I plan to audition for Fanny Brice.

Sebastian: OMG RACHEL?! That is amazing! You will soo get that role with as many times as you watch "Funny Girl" haha.

Rachel: Thank you for believing in me.

Sebastian: Always.

Rachel: It's time for you to go hun..

Sebastian: *lifts her chin with his fingertips* hey, this isn't goodbye. I will be back, I will come home for you. Just please if you can help it don't forget me?

Rachel: I'll never forget. Don't forget about me. Please please be safe. All of you. Give Thad my love and best wishes too.

Sebastian: I will... * he walks away holding her hand still* I guess this is it...

Rachel: I'll miss you my Soldier...

Sebastian hugs her, then walks away until he stops, turns around and walks back to het crashing her against him kissing her as if there were no kissed him, while crying. He was sobbing too.

Sebastian; I love you, Rachel.

Rachel: I love you, Sebastian.

Sebastian heard boarding call for his flight. Rachel watched him go through security. She waved blowing him a kiss, that he returned. He was soon gone.

Rachel left the airport, driving home where she was met by Blaine and Kurt waiting for her.

Blaine: Hey Rach, are you okay?

Rachel: I'm not okay, but I know I've gotta be strong regardless of what happens.

Blaine: Trust him, he's gonna come home Rach.

Rachel: I hope so too, Blaine. Now if you will excuse me, I have to rest then prepare for my Funny Girl audition.

Blaine & Kurt: We love you, Rachel. Good night.

Rachel: I love you both, too.

As Rachel went to her room, she sat on her bed she just shared hours ago with Sebastian, and curled up with his pillow and sobbed.

Little did she know that Sebastian sat on the plane looking out the window,and he was crying too. "Good night Rachel, I love you.".

A/N: Well we're nearing the end of this story. I'm sorry that it took me awhile to update. I hope that you're enjoying this story. I will work on the ending sometime this weekend. Please check out my other stories, if you have a chance. I love you all. I almost deleted this story. :(