During my almost five-month absence from Beijing, a lot has happened there. Thanks to Masu, I was always up to date on the investigation of Zhan and his brothers. I myself no longer spoke a word to my father or mother. Thanks to them, I even missed the visit of my brother and his husband.

The first thing I learned was that the Minister of Defense heard about Zhan's arrest and then immediately got him out of there by proving that Zhan had been acting and working on his behalf. Even more, he proved that Zhan had political immunity and should never have been arrested! I don't know why he has political immunity, but if it has to do with the Department of Defense, then Zhan has probably done more valuable work for them than just selling weapons to them.

Then I learned that Zhan gradually sold all of his property as soon as his father's funeral took place. He sold his villa. He sold all the possessions of his father and brothers. Just everything!

And then suddenly it was said that no one knows where Xiao Zhan is. After he sold all his possessions, he went into hiding. There were rumors that he went underground to plan his revenge. There were rumors that he had left the country and was starting up his business somewhere else. Then they said he was in Taiwan and then again in Russia or Cuba, India, Spain. But there was never any evidence to support these rumors.

Fact is, nobody knows where he is now! And another fact is, nobody seems to know that Zhan owns a bar in Yiling and it has never been sold! So I know where I might be able to find him. Because no matter how long I've been in the Czech Republic now, I haven't forgotten Zhan and I'm not going to give up on him. If he wants to kill me, let him. I won't even fight back. Because I'd rather die at his hands than continue to struggle with my heartache and guilty conscience.

But before I can face Zhan, I have something else to do. First, my route from the airport led me directly to the Agency and into my father's office. I bowed politely and said, "Sir, I wanted to report that Special Agent Masu and Special Agent Wang are back. Also, I wanted to give you this." I handed him a white envelope and my father looked at me in horror.

"What is this? Why are you quitting?" He asked me.

"Sir, I've been thinking back and forth for a long time and I've come to the conclusion that I don't want to work in a lying agency like this anymore." I said.

"Why? Are you still mad about Xiao Zhan? You know why we had to do this."

"Sir, I'm uncomfortable working in an agency that only seems to abide by laws and is happy to circumvent them once in a while if it's for personal benefit."

"Yibo cut the crap. You know I had no choice. I never would have gone this far if it wasn't for your mother. I had no intention of harming you with this."

"Sir, you always have a way. And the way you chose had been wrong! You lied, used and deceived your own son just to protect your criminal wife who took the law into her own hands for 8 years for personal gain. You condemn what the Wen family did? Okay, but our family, no, your family, because I don't consider myself a part of it anymore, is not one bit better. And now I'll say goodbye."

My father came running around the desk and held me tightly. He wrapped me tightly in his arms and said tearfully, "Don't do this Yibo. You are my son. You are a part of this family, you can't imagine how much we love you. We never meant to hurt or harm you. Come back home and don't quit."

"I have no reason whatsoever why I should believe anything you tell me. I no longer have any faith in you. And more importantly, I can't forgive you. Now, just let me go."

"No, I'm not going to let you go. You are my son. I love you. I don't want to lose my son."

I yelled, "You should have thought about that before you used and betrayed me for your own purposes! You always told me all my life, honesty and trust are most important in the family. You lied to me and were not honest. You have betrayed my trust. AND, you made me a target of Zhan's anger by claiming I was secretly investigating him. And for what? So that your wife could restore her reputation and be a celebrated chief prosecutor! But at what cost? Mhm? What price do you have to pay now?"

"I know it wasn't right and I know how much it hurt you. But I didn't see any other way out. Even if your mother deserved to be punished. I couldn't let it happen like that. I love your mom more than anything."

"And I love Zhan! Then why can't I protect him? Why are you allowed to protect your criminal wife who only acted out of self-interest? Why can't I protect Zhan, who even takes care of children so they can come back home or find a new home? Who didn't sell or punish anyone who didn't 100% deserve it? And who made sure this criminal scum couldn't walk free after mom let them go? She faked evidence, she made evidence disappear. Even looked for other criminal in some cases to make them pay someone else's guilt? Who do you think is worse? The one who takes the criminals off the street? Or the one who gets paid to let the criminals get away with it?"

"Yibo, stop that okay? What are you going to do now? Roll it all up again? Are you going to punish your mother? And me as well? Are you going to look for Xiao Zhan? Then what? He will kill you if he gets the chance."

"If I die by Zhan's hand, it will be your fault. Since you have driven him to hate me. Then, however, if I die by Zhan's hand, my debt to him is wiped out. And I no longer have to struggle with my guilty conscience and heartache every day. I would rather die than continue to feel this agonizing pain and have these devastating thoughts every day. You knew, even before I knew it myself, that I loved Zhan and yet you used me as a weapon against him! I don't want a father like that, a family like that."

"Do you really think it was easy for me to do such a thing to you? I never meant to hurt you Yibo. I can only keep repeating myself. I'm sorry it had to go this way. But sometimes in our lives we are tested and when it comes to family, there is no right or wrong in protecting a family member."

"To protect one family member, you have to hurt another? And there is right and wrong in the family. And you did wrong. Face it. This is all mom's fault, isn't it? She didn't trust you and your skills as a special agent enough and rather sent Hai Kuan and Meng Yao away back then. If she hadn't, none of this would have ever happened. And even though it was and is Mom's fault, now after all this you go on as if nothing ever happened. While I carry the weight of guilt inside of me knowing that the man I love wants to kill me. Does that make any sense to you?"

"Why don't you come home and we can talk to your mom together? Your brother lives with your brother-in-law at our house, too."

"Mhm, because he lost his job at the ranch in America because of you and mom. Since Zhan also sold the ranch. Do you think otherwise he would have come back here voluntarily? Have you guys maybe thought ahead as well? What if Meng Yao finds out that Hai Kuan is back? There was a reason back then why Zhan sent him so far away! Zhan kept an eye on Meng Yao. But now that no one knows where Zhan is, no one is keeping an eye on Meng Yao either. How long will Hai Kuan be able to stay with you? When will Meng Yao know he's back? What happened at that time that even made Hai Kuan leave the country? Did you in any way ever ask yourself these questions before?"

"What are you trying to say? That Hai Kuan is in danger because he's back here? Do you think I can't protect him?"

"You'll have to answer that question for yourself. I'm going to leave now. But I'll give you a few more questions whose answers you'd better find. What happened then that made Hai Kuan leave the country? Where is Meng Yao? Is he still after Hai Kuan? And how come the Wen's, out of prison, have resumed their business and no one is doing anything about it?"

I freed myself from my father's embrace and he looked at me sadly. However, I did not give a damn. I spun around and left his office. Only to run into Seungyoun. He smiled at me, I just shook my head and walked past him. "I'm sorry Yibo." He said.

"I don't care." I replied and kept walking.

I left the agency and called a cab. When I arrived at my home, I sat down on my sofa and looked at the cell phone Zhan had given me the night of the business dinner. I finally got a charger for it and hope the sim card isn't blocked yet. Maybe this way I can find a way to contact Zhan.

I don't care what he does with me. But I just need to find him and see him again. I need to explain and apologize to him sincerely.

I'm under no illusion that finding Zhan will be easy. Even if he has the bar, it doesn't mean I'll find him there anytime soon. I think as well informed as he always is, he'll already know that I'm back in Beijing as of today. And he will play a cat and mouse game with me. He said so, he's going to hunt me down. He is the cat and I am the mouse.

I must say though, I liked it even more when I was the lion and he was the bunny.

While the battery was charging from the cell phone, I went shopping. I constantly had the feeling of being followed and watched. But whenever I turned around, there was no one to be seen. I even felt someone blow on the back of my neck once. I turned around, but saw no one. Was it just my imagination? Or has Zhan really opened the games already?

I'm sure I'll find out very soon. If Zhan is really after me, he will want to let me know. In fact, I'm absolutely sure about that.