When I got home, still very tired and ecstatic from last night, a surprise awaited me as I entered the apartment. Seungyoun was there and already waiting for me. He told my roommates that he is my best friend and wanted to visit me.

So either they don't notice much or don't want to. It was ten in the morning on a Sunday. What best friend shows up that early and also completely unannounced? It's strange that police officers don't ask themselves that question.

I went to change and then Seungyoun and I went to a nearby park. We sat down on a bench and he told me, "Your dad sent me. It's about Ray. We finally found out why he was off duty last week. Apparently he was in a car accident and was unconscious in the hospital for days. When he woke up yesterday afternoon, he called us right away. He's going to have to stay in the hospital for a while longer."

"So that means I don't have a contact for now? So I'm supposed to email my Weekly Report?" I wanted to know.

"No. Your dad thinks it's too risky. You're supposed to write down what's most important and then when we have a new contact for you, forward it to him. Right now, though, the problem is that we don't have anyone in the agency who can step in as a contact."

"I see. So I'm on my own for now."

"Right. If we were a government-funded agency and not a free agency, that wouldn't be a problem. They would just recruit someone to do it. It's just that it doesn't work that easily for us."

"I know. That's just the disadvantage of a free agency. So, how does it go on now? I just collect my reports and then hand them over when you find someone new?"

"Yes. And there's one more thing. Your dad asked me to remind you not to look for your brother alone. He kept trying to call you last night but couldn't reach you. He now hopes you weren't out looking for Hai Kuan."

"I won't forget about it. And no, I wasn't looking for him."

"Then what were you doing?"

"I went to the bar, had a drink, met someone, and spent the night with him. Well, most of the night."

"Wait, what did you do? Just like that?"

"Yeah, just like that. An opportunity came up spontaneously and I took it."

"You're not usually like this. What kind of guy is this that can get you into bed on the same night?"

"A very cute and handsome guy. I don't know much about him. But I was attracted to him at first sight. And he was attracted to me as well. We got along great, had drinks together, and then went to a hotel."

"Fuck, he must have been special to get that iceberg in bed."

"Don't call me that. And yeah, there is something special about him somehow."

"Do you have a crush on him, maybe?"

"Oh God no. I just wanted to have sex with him."

"And does he see it that way?"

"Mhm, he left in the middle of the night, after our second round and left me behind. He didn't cuddle, nothing. We didn't exchange cell phone numbers or ask each other out again."

"Wow so that's a guy I would want to meet someday. Have fun with no feelings or commitments, perfect."

"You, you just told me a little while ago that you had a crush on this new data analyst. You better stay on that."

"I'd love to. But he turned me down."

"Damn, I told you to take your time. Every time you get a new crush, you immediately rush into it. Why don't you give him time to get to know you first?"

"Yibo, I just asked him if he wanted to have coffee with me in the cafeteria. And he immediately said: No thanks, not with you."

"Probably your reputation in the Agency precedes you."

"But this time it's different. I'm really serious."

"Then you have to prove it to him. Give him time to get to know you. Try to make friends with him. Show him that you're very different from what they tell about you in the agency."

"I don't know if that will work. I really like him and I don't know how exactly to act towards him. I only know this one way and that's flirting."

"Then remember how we met. We became friends, too."

"Yes, but I never wanted to go to bed with you either."

"And that's exactly your mistake. You're already thinking way too far ahead."

"Okay, I get it. Oh yeah, your dad is worried that now that you've had time off, the case might be a little too big for you."

"Why is that? To be honest, I'm glad that I'm finally back in action. And by moving so slowly, I can really settle in. I just hope I crack this Commissioner Miles soon. He's a real puke and a real asshole. His son Don is quite nice, but seems to be not completely mentally fit. I haven't had anything to do with the others yet."

"So we've been checking out Commissioner Miles. He was a really good cop until a few years ago. A model cop. He was awarded a lot of honors, he was socially engaged, and he was a happy husband. But then his wife was kidnapped, raped several times and murdered. And that of all things by a guy who Miles had previously had in custody, but had to release him again because of the law. In his search for his wife, he was repeatedly stopped by the rules and laws. Eventually, he even broke several laws, but by the time that he found her, it was already too late. Her disfigured body was floating in a sewer. It was he who found her. His wife's murderer was fished out of the same sewer two weeks later, also completely disfigured. Rumor spread that Commissioner Miles took revenge on him. But this could never be proven. Since then, he has completely changed."

"Somehow I thought something like this was happening. When Don told me his mother didn't just die of illness or an accident, I guessed something very bad must have happened to her."

"Mmm, and we checked out your new partner, too. Al Dan, 32 years old, single, former patrolman and living with his parents in Yiling. He has only one entry on his record, for misconduct toward his supervisor. It says that he was transferred to Yiling Police Station after he got into a serious fight with his former supervisor when he was forbidden to take his service weapon with him when he was on patrol in a dangerous area. He and his partner were attacked. They were unable to defend themselves and his partner lost his left eye in the process. After this incident, Al went back to his department, looked for his supervisor and beat him up in the hospital. Since the blame was on both of them, Al was just transferred to another station and his former supervisor even escaped altogether."

"Oh great. Another victim. I'm guessing most of my colleagues in the department have similar stories. Disappointed with superiors, the law, and sometimes bullshit rule, they're apparently making their own laws now."

"Maybe, but we don't know for sure. At the moment, anyway, it seems that these police officers must have had some reason to stop believing in law and order."

"Yes. And that's why they take bribes. Because they think that law and order, won't help anyway."

"Well, that could fit well with a statement made by Wen Rouhan. He said in a survey 10 years ago: 'Almost all the politicians who want to tell us how to live and what laws to obey have no idea about real life after all.' These old farts surely sit in their offices and only read what happens in the world. But they never experience it. They don't understand that this country needs more than a few desk monkeys who keep inventing new and more absurd laws. Nobody can trust them. That's why I am my own politician and make my own laws: He said that and a few other things."

"Well, he's right in a way, isn't he? Just look at our law book. How many absurd laws are in there? Look at what's going on with gays like us. We are not worth anything in their eyes. They put us on the same level as murderers and rapists. They forbid us to love, marry or even have children. They think homosexuality is a disease that is contagious."

"I know Yibo. But I hope they will soon see that we are no different than anyone else."

"When is that going to happen? In some parts of this world, like Europe, homosexuals are allowed to marry. While in Russia the gays and lesbians are hunted, tortured and even killed. And not only there, also in other countries. And the worst thing is, they who do such things to these people are not even punished for it. And why? Because of the stupid laws!"

"I know Yibo. And it makes me angry too. However, there is nothing we can do but hope that there will be a change in thinking at some point. Now, though, let's go back. I have to head back slowly. I'm on night duty tonight."

"Alright, let's go." I said and we walked back to the dorm. Seungyoun said goodbye to me downstairs at his car and reminded me again to be careful. I confirmed that I understood and waited downstairs until he drove away.

When I got back upstairs to the apartment, my two roommates were sitting in the living area watching some show on TV. They invited me to join them. But I was just too tired and declined with thanks.

Then in my room I lay down on my bed and thought about my conversation with Seungyoun, it always makes me angry when I think about the laws in our country concerning people like him and me. These are in desperate need of renewal. But for that to happen, people's views of gays and lesbians have to change first. They have to realize that this love is not a disease with which they infect others.

And for a brief moment, before I finally fell asleep, I also thought again about last night. I liked it a lot and I really hope that I can see Zhan again and repeat that night. I may not have a crush on him, as Seungyoun suspected, but I had a great night with him. A special night like I've never had before. Which is why I would be happy if I could have a night like that again.