A/N: It's the last chapter! (but there will be an epilogue)

I'm dedicating this chapter to @CrushingBarriers who has stuck with this story since the beginning and whose supportive comments encouraged me to keep going <3

And thanks to everyone who has been reading. This is my first fanfic and I'm so happy it found readers.

POV switches from Louis to Harry then back to Louis.

Disclaimer: EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT (of course)

LOUIS

I felt Harry's arms tighten around me. I opened my eyes. If I squinted just right I could pretend that the hotel was our home and Harry was my boyfriend. I didn't know what we actually were. It was purgatory, a cruel reenactment of our time on the road only now we weren't hiding from the world we were hiding from each other.

I let my eyes fall closed again and he shook me awake. I glanced at him over my shoulder. "Hi."

"Hi."

It was six in the morning but the urge to look at him was stronger than the urge to sleep.

He leaned over me. I thought he was reaching for the water but he grabbed a condom.

"Can I?" he asked, tearing into the package.

I swallowed, my heart beating hard in anticipation. "Yeah."

It was too early and I was too sore but I couldn't help myself, he looked so beautiful in the soft morning light.

Lying on our side, he pressed inside me. I winced and breathed through my nose, bringing one of my knees up to my chest. He peeked at my face, noting my discomfort. He didn't stop but he was gentle.

I was cold and brought the blanket up over me. He pulled it back down. "I wanna see you." His hips sped up at the sight of himself moving in and out of me. "Do you like it?" His voice was unsteady.

I moaned. It hurt but it also felt good and I couldn't tell which sensation was stronger.

"You look so nice," he sighed, his hand squeezing my hip firmly so he could move even faster.

Harry's pillow talk definitely left something to be desired but literally anything he said gave me a hard-on. He could read the fucking phone book and that low drawl from those pouty lips could make me come instantly.

I grabbed my c0ck, desperate for some relief. Harry pinched the top of my hand.

"Ow!"

"I'll do that." He picked up my c0ck and began to stroke me in tandem with his own thrusts.

I came first with a grunt all over his hand and the sheets. This stirred something in Harry because he stopped being so gentle and got really rough, tangled up in his own messy desire for me. "Oh, Louis..." he cried as he came, hating me I imagined and hating himself for wanting me.

I got up after that but Harry needed more sleep. As I was getting dressed I noticed bite marks on my shoulders and arse and bruises everywhere. Christ. I threw on a pair of joggers, a t-shirt and hoodie and a pair of trainers. With my hood up I headed out to get us some breakfast and coffee.

On my way back, I got a call from Liam. I moved the coffee tray and bag of bagels over to one hand and answered my phone with the other. "What can I do for you this fine morning, Payno?"

"Don't you mean afternoon? You're in London."

"Right, afternoon, so it is, ha ha!"

"How does it feel to be back home?"

"Fine. Weather's shit. What else is new."

"Liar! You're still in New York. I drove past you on Spring Street."

Dammit. "Liam, listen to me. For once I'm actually innocent." I ran across the street nearly spilling coffee all over myself. "I was about to go to the airport last night and Harry RAVAGED me."

"Louis, please."

"I'm serious and I have the battle wounds to prove it. He did it again this morning. I feel like I've been fucked by ten men."

"Louis! I'm at my daughters' daycare! I'm not having this conversation with you! Honestly, I didn't think you could make more of a mess of this situation than you already have."

"Me?" I swung through the revolving doors of the hotel lobby. "I'm the victim here! Harry's treating me like a goddamn chew toy. I'm scared to go back up there!"

"Get to work on our comeback and call me later. I would ask you to leave Harry alone but I know it's pointless."

"Cheers."

Harry was still asleep when I got back to the room. I kissed his head and fished my laptop and iPad out of my suitcase. I dropped down at the desk in the other room and put on my glasses. I groaned when I saw my inbox. Over three hundred unread messages, all of them urgent, most of them angry. I skyped my assistant Annaliese. Her bright young face popped up a few seconds later, all eyelashes and lipgloss.

"Louis! Where are you?"

"I'm still in New York."

"I heard about the wedding. The Sun is having a field day. A lot of people are asking Zayn to comment. It's a shitshow around here. When are you coming back?"

"That's why I'm calling." I slurped my coffee. "I'll be taking a leave of absence soon. This is confidential but... One Direction is getting back together."

She screamed.

"I'm with Harry now, we're, um, ironing out the details."

She screamed again. "Oh my God, Harry's there right now? I can't believe he's going to be performing with 1D again. I'm dying."

"I'm in the band too you know!"

"I know, but I'm a Harry girl, I LOVE him, you don't understand."

I smiled. "Trust me, I get it."

I gave Annaliese a list of tasks I needed help with and we debriefed about a recent contract, before I logged off and got down to work.

Harry walked out sleepily in his white boxer-briefs. His eyes were red. He might have been crying but I didn't ask. He grabbed a coffee and nibbled on a bagel. Tentatively, he walked over to where I was sitting and peered over my shoulder.

"You're working."

"Yep."

"I've never seen you work before."

"It's pretty glamorous stuff," I laughed. I pushed my glasses up the bridge of my nose. I clicked on a marketing budget that I was making notes on to negotiate later and explained what parts I was flagging and why.

Harry came over and sat on my lap. I stroked his back. His bare skin was still warm from sleep.

"Can I help?"

"Sure!" I handed him my iPad. "Go into the performer's folder and pull up the contract so I can compare the numbers laid out here with the advance."

Harry fidgeted with my iPad for a while and handed it back, "Is this it?"

It wasn't. Wrong performer. Wrong record label.

"Yes, thank you!" I kissed his back. "You're really good at this, sweetheart!"

"Yeah right."

I wrapped my arms around his waist. "If you were my assistant I'd give you a raise on the spot." Actually, I'd fire him on the spot. I'd never get anything done if Harry worked for me.

I scooted him off my lap and continued typing.

He stood there staring at me. "I like watching you work."

"Yeah?" I said, mildly amused.

"It's hot."

I swallowed.

Harry came up behind me and began massaging my neck and shoulders. I kept typing, eyes fixed on the screen. Then he started kneading my back, rocking me forward.

I turned around and sighed. "You want to fuck me on the desk, don't you?"

"Do you mind?" Harry already had a condom in his hand.

Unbelievable! I stood up and started to take off my clothes. "I swear, Harry, if you ever let me fuck you again, you're gonna pay for this."

I placed my hands on the desk. He gripped the back of my neck and bent me all the way over. "Hush."

"Bet you're glad I got those three boxes of condoms now."

"Shhhh. Don't make me laugh. I'm trying to concentrate."

"Well, excuse me!"

When Harry finished, he pushed me back onto my chair, kneeled between my legs and eagerly took me into his mouth. "Is this one of my duties as your assistant, Mr. Tomlinson?" he said, his plump lips grazing my slit.

What the fuck? If I'd known Harry would react this way to seeing me work, I would have whipped out that marketing budget days ago.

"You're hired."

He worked his lips messily up and down my shaft. He hadn't done this in a while and kept forgetting to breathe through his nose. I tapped his chin to remind him, something I did when we first started messing around as teens. He smiled at this familiar gesture. His eyes resumed their steely focus and he tightened his lips and moved up and down. I moaned and stroked his hair. "Good. That's really good. Oh God, your mouth." Harry's mouth. Harry's fucking mouth. I could write sonnets about that mouth, songs, a whole fucking album. I was close and Harry was licking me with his mouth open. "I'm coming," I warned. He let his upper lip drag over my tip and I came all over his lips and chin.

I blushed and covered my face with my hands.

"What?" he said, getting a tissue.

"Nothing."

"What is it?" He climbed onto my lap.

"It's just... That's sort of my go-to fantasy when I..."

"You think about coming on my face when you have a wank?"

"Sort of."

Harry raised an eyebrow. "And they say romance is dead."

We laughed.

I liked this. Laughing with Harry. Holding him. But soon that veil of numbness fell over his face again and he got up. I put my clothes back on and he pulled on his boxers. I resumed working, this time turning to 1D and what I needed to do to get the ball rolling. Harry picked up my iPad and flopped down moodily on the couch.

I begged Harry not read the news about himself but he must have ignored me because he grew more and more agitated. Gossip sites and news outlets were calling him a manwhore and a philanderer, blaming Kitty for the split. They were saying some unflattering things about Darby too, which Harry took much harder than the lies about himself.

"Hey," I said. "I need some help finding an email address for an agent at ICM. Barry somebody. It's a person we might want to work with. Can you find his contact details in my email and send them to me?"

This temporary distraction seemed to work, because Harry's face softened as he shifted his focus to my email. He was carefully searching and scrolling when suddenly he stopped and looked up. "Who's Sergey?"

I froze. "Just a guy I play racquetball with."

"There are like hundreds of emails from him. Is he your boyfriend?"

I took off my glasses and massaged the bridge of my nose. "No Harry, but we do sleep together sometimes."

Harry gasped. "Why didn't you tell me about him?"

"I didn't mention it because he and I are not together, and because I can't tell you anything about my love life without you getting hysterical."

"I'm not hysterical!" Harry yelled. "Who is he? How do you know him?"

"He's a Russian diplomat I met at the athletic club I go to. Like I said, we play racquetball together."

"A diplomat?"

"I told you I've been sleeping with other guys."

"Yeah, but I thought they'd be sluts you picked up clubbing."

"Oh, thanks."

"How old is he?"

"I dunno, like forty-five."

"Forty-five!" Harry was screaming at me now. "Do you let him fuck you?"

"Yes," I admitted.

"Is he better than me? I bet he is since he's had like centuries to practice."

"You're such a brat."

"Sorry I'm not mature like your ancient boyfriend!" he spat.

"He's not my boyfriend! He comes over, we fuck and he leaves. That's it."

"So, he's using you," Harry said, self-righteously. "How can you let this guy fuck you? He doesn't even care about you!"

"I let you fuck me, don't I?"

Harry threw the iPad at my chest and stormed off into the bedroom, slamming the door behind him. I groaned miserably. I really messed that up.

For once I decided to takes Zayn and Liam's advice and I gave Harry his space. I continued working, occasionally glancing at the bedroom door, wondering if Harry was okay. He probably hated me all over again. Great.

After an hour I heard his soft footsteps behind me. I turned. He was dressed in black skinnies and a faded floral button-down with the sleeves rolled up.

He took a breath. "Louis, is it okay if I ask you for something?"

"Sure."

"Can you please stop seeing Sergey?"

"Okay."

"Even racquetball," he quickly added. "I don't want you playing racquetball with him either."

I grinned. "Okay."

He exhaled. "Thanks."

"I'll email him and let him know our game next week is off."

Harry glanced at my iPad sheepishly. "Um, I sort of deleted all his emails... and I deleted him from your contacts."

I would have strangled him if he weren't so bloody cute. I wrestled him onto the couch and kissed him. I held his face in my hands and kissed and nuzzled him with affection and he actually let me.

"I hope you don't think I'm using you, Louis."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to accuse you of anything. It came out wrong."

"I would never use you. I care about you a lot." He buried his face in my chest.

"I know you do."

HARRY

I got a text from Darby.

I had only been staying at the Soho with Louis for two days but so much had happened it felt like weeks since the wedding.

When I had sex with Louis I was hoping I wouldn't like it. I wanted to prove to myself that this attraction was all in my head and that I didn't really want the person who hurt me more than anyone. But I did like it. I liked it more now than I did when we were together. It surprised me. Now that I was older and more fully myself I didn't feel like I was a part of him at all. I felt distinctly separate and all of our differences, our equally strong but opposing forces, struck like a match and ignited a fire in me. I loved being overpowered by him, but I loved overpowering him too! I wanted to devour him. I craved him. I didn't even think about my next meal, I just thought about the next time his body would be available to me. It felt monstrous. Louis was the cause of all my problems but he was the only person who could make me feel better.

Looking at the text from Darby I felt guilty that I had any relief from my pain at all. I should be suffering the way she was suffering.

Louis was working on his computer and swearing at label executives on the phone. He was so focused and serious about work. I had no idea what he was talking about half the time but it was really sexy.

I showed him the text from Darby. "What should I do?"

"Do you want to know what I think you should do or what you should actually do?"

"Both."

"I think you should stay here and make out with me. But the right thing to do is to go talk to her."

I sat on the edge of his desk. "I'm scared to face her."

"Harry, the worst has happened. She knows everything and the wedding is off."

I knew Louis didn't want me to leave his sight, so if he was telling me to go it probably was the right thing to do.

Louis called me a car because he said the subway was "filled with maniacs." I rolled my eyes.

Darby asked to meet at Sarah's place because our flat was swarmed with reporters. It was jarring being back in Brooklyn and seeing all my old haunts. This place didn't belong to me anymore. I didn't belong anywhere, or, I belonged everywhere, in every country, in hotels across the globe. The only home I needed was Louis and our restless hearts didn't want a city or a neighborhood or a house. All we wanted was each other.

Sarah's place was a shoebox. She wasn't there. Darby was sitting at the tiny foldout kitchen table alone. She looked like she hadn't slept in days. Her hair was pulled back in a severe bun and she was wearing all black.

I sat down across from her and considered that maybe she had asked me here to murder me.

"How are you?" I asked, reaching across the table to clasp her hands. She didn't reach back.

"How do you think?"

"I'm so sorry." I began to cry, ugly-cry, uncontrollably. God, I was a mess. She handed me a dishtowel. I was beyond tissues. The guilt was worse than any pain I'd ever experienced. Was this how Louis felt all the time? I suddenly had newfound empathy for him.

"I still have your things," she said coldly. "Where are you staying?"

"The Soho."

"Is he with you?"

I wanted so much to spare her any more pain but I couldn't disrespect her by lying. "Yes."

She flinched.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..."

"Harry, I didn't ask you here so you could apologize. I asked you here to make this right."

I chewed my lip. "What can I do? I'll do anything!" It didn't even occur to me that I could make things right with Darby. I thought I had ruined things between us permanently. What did she need? Financial support? Surely she didn't want me back?

Her eyes flicked up to mine. "I want your story."

"What story?"

"I want to write yours and Louis' story. All of it. How you first got together, how you covered it up, how you broke up, everything."

I had to catch my breath. "This isn't my story to give. It's Louis' story too."

"Convince him."

"Won't this be painful for you to write about? Don't you want to just forget about me?"

"I don't want to forget you, Harry," she swallowed back tears. "I don't regret a single day I spent with you. But you lied to me. You cheated on me. I'm giving you an opportunity to make it up to me. I need to write this article because this is just what I do. It's the only way I know how to get through this."

"I don't know if I'm ready to, like, come out."

She reached across the table finally and clasped my hands. "Be brave."

I knew I needed to do this for her. I had Louis to comfort me but the only thing that brought Darby comfort was her work and I couldn't deny her even the smallest comfort after everything I put her through.

I wanted to hug her goodbye but she remained seated. Her expression and posture had hardened toward me. Her heart was closed to me now and all that remained was the polite exterior she showed to strangers and acquaintances. Maybe that would change if I gave her the story. Maybe she would be my friend again, one day.

I promised to text her as soon at I spoke to Louis. Then I pulled out the broach she gave me and slid it across the table.

"Keep it," she said. She tried to keep the bitterness out of her voice and I was grateful for the effort. I didn't deserve it.

"I can't accept this."

"Something to remember me by."

I would never forget Darby or all of the things she did for me. Louis may have been the first person to love me but Darby was the first person who taught me to love myself.

At the hotel I found Louis perched like a cat on the windowsill smoking. He swiftly put out the cigarette, blowing smoke out the side of his mouth and flapping his arms wildly to get the smell out.

"How'd it go?"

"The good news is she's willing to forgive me. The bad news is we have to do something for her first."

Louis crossed his arms. "Please don't tell me she wants a threesome. I'd do anything for you Harry, but I won't fuck a woman. Even I have my limits."

"No! She wants to write a story about us, our relationship, for Rolling Stone."

Louis flew at me. "I hope you told her no!"

"I said we'd talk about it."

"Harry! She'll rip me apart in that article."

"She's a good journalist. She'll tell the truth."

"That's even worse!"

"It's only a matter of time before this story gets out there. At least Rolling Stone is a reputable publication."

"It's a straight magazine. I'm basically out already, but if I come out officially I want it to be in a gay magazine with my community behind me. I want a shirtless photo spread in Attitude. Something tasteful."

I sidled up to him and kissed his cheek. "Please," I mewed suggestively. "Do it for me."

Louis seized me by the waist. "And what will you do for me, Harry?"

My stomach leapt. "Let me take you to dinner."

I texted Darby to say that Louis was more or less on board and she texted back curtly that she would email me her questions. I didn't tell her that the band was getting back together and I didn't know how our coming out would affect the band's comeback, but I did know that I couldn't keep lying. It was too exhausting and had cost me too many relationships.

Louis was taking a shower. I listened to the running water and I pictured him standing there. Naked. Soap and water sliding down his back over his pert bum... I groaned. I wanted him again. I pressed myself up against the door but when I tried the handle it was locked. I became irrationally angry at this door for coming between us, which was silly because up until a few days ago we had been apart for three years with a whole ocean between us.

Louis stepped out of the bedroom twenty minutes later fully dressed.

"You're wearing a suit!" I exclaimed. Layers of clothing neatly pressed and tucked, which meant I couldn't rip them off him until later that night.

"I took the liberty of making a reservation at Jean-Georges." Louis adjusted his tie in the mirror. "They'll let us in the side entrance. No one will see us."

I got up. "Louis, I asked you to dinner. I'm picking the place."

"There's a place better than Jean-George?" Louis looked doubtful.

The city was bright, hot and bursting with life. Instinctively, Louis fell a few steps behind me as we started walking. It was a habit from our days in the band when he and I weren't allowed to stand or walk next to each other. Back then it became second nature. I would start walking and wait for Louis to drift away behind me. But now I felt the pain of his sudden absence sharply. It occurred to me in a very visceral way just how deeply we were wronged all those years ago.

I stopped and waited for him to catch up. He looked at me quizzically.

Then I held his hand.

We had been having sex for two days straight and this chaste gesture nearly made him faint.

"We should call a car," he said.

"No! The place I'm taking you to is in Chinatown just a few blocks away."

"You've been in the press all weekend, Harry." He looked down at our hands, our fingers laced together. "We'll be harassed."

And I remembered what Darby always taught me. "Not if we act like we belong."

I loved all the colorful crowded signage in Chinatown and the way the smell of food spilled out from every direction. The place crackled with energy, especially in the summer.

Louis kept looking over his shoulder like we were in a warzone. I gripped his hand tightly.

"Where's the restaurant?" he said, clearly eager to get me off the streets.

"It's right here! The Dollar Cart."

"This isn't a restaurant, it's a cart."

"The best food cart in the city. Oh come off it, you eat street meat all the time in London."

"That doesn't mean I want you to," he chided.

"Stop babying me!"

"No!"

The cart was owned by a nice older couple and the wife recognized me instantly. I ate there all the time when I was out clothes shopping, which, admittedly, was a lot. She didn't know I was famous she just knew me as "Harry."

"Harry! The usual? Lo Mein, spring rolls and Fried Mei Fun, right?"

"Two of each," I said.

She glanced at Louis. "You brought a friend today."

"He's my boyfriend," I said without thinking. Then I realized it was true and that I'd never introduced him to anyone that way before.

Louis was in complete and utter shock.

I sat on the curb and urged him to sit next to me. We started eating the greasy food, making a real mess of things. He looked ridiculous shoveling noodles into his mouth in that Armani suit. He didn't say anything about the boyfriend remark but he didn't have to. He was very quiet and Louis was never quiet. I knew that it had moved him.

After we ate I convinced him to wander around Chinatown. Even though we were both full we got sesame buns and fried ice cream. I picked up some pretty paper lanterns. Louis bought me a jade bracelet and I bought him a silk notebook with a dragon embroidered on the cover.

By the time the sun went down we had our arms around each other's waists. I kept sneaking kisses when he wasn't looking. He kept pretending to hate it.

"Want to go back to the hotel?" he said, heavy lashes fluttering above his clear blue eyes.

"Yes."

LOUIS

We made out on and off on the walk back and almost got lost.

I pulled out a pack of cigarettes and Harry snatched it from my hands petting my head theatrically. "No, they're bad for you."

"Harry!"

"See how annoying it is to be babied?"

I smiled and kissed him. "Wrong. I love it!"

Back in the hotel room, Harry mysteriously disappeared into the bedroom and closed the door. He told me not to come in for at least ten minutes.

I didn't mind. I had a call to make. As much as we loved living in hotels we both agreed we needed to find something more private and more permanent. But we wanted to start anew on equal footing. Harry didn't want to move to London because it was my turf and I didn't want to move to New York because it was his.

"Hiya Niall! How's L.A.?"

"Fine. I hear you're still in New York. With Harry."

"You heard right. Listen--"

"No."

"Harry and I are coming to L.A. and--"

"No."

"It's going to take a while to find a house to rent--"

"No."

"So, we're moving in with you."

"No!"

"We're leaving in three days."

"Louis, absolutely not! You two are a nightmare together! I'll never get a moment's peace!"

Harry poked his head out the bedroom door. "Coming?"

"Cheers, Niall," I said hurriedly. "See you Friday."

I turned the corner to enter the bedroom and it was bathed in warm red light. Harry had hung paper lanterns from the ceiling all around the bed. It was like our own little solar system, like we were the center of the universe.

Harry was naked on him stomach, legs crossed at the ankle, head resting on his folded arms. He looked like a sculpture. He was almost too perfect to touch. Almost.

"Take off your clothes," he said sweetly.

I tugged off my tie and shakily undid the buttons on my shirt. Harry's face grew serious and his breathing slowed as I took off my pants and boxers.

I got in bed next to him. His curls had fallen over his eye so I brushed them back. I kissed his shoulder. I had no idea how to begin. I'd always dreamed that when this moment came I would take Harry apart, that I would be insatiable. But now that he was here, giving of himself so freely, so lovingly, I didn't think about me at all. All I could think about was his pleasure and how lucky and honored I was to give it to him.

I let my hand trail down the smooth peaks and valleys of his back. Then I straddled his thighs and kissed his neck. My hard-on pressed against his arse cheek and he gave me a pointed look. Not yet I thought, not yet. I let my lips explore every part of him from the crown of his head to his fingertips. I could kiss his body a hundred times over and never get bored, always discover new things I loved about it. I pressed my face into the back of his thigh and Harry trembled at my proximity to his rim.

"I want it," he said.

I think he meant to give me permission but it sounded more like begging. I pulled him up by the hips and buried my face into him, not even licking, just letting my lips rest there, just enjoying this precious part of him.

Harry was very quiet.

"Is this okay?" I kissed his bum and gently laid him back down.

"It's just a lot."

"We can do something else," I said quickly. I felt terrible. I thought this was what he wanted. Maybe I'd read him wrong.

"No, I want this. I'm just overwhelmed. I haven't been touched like that in a long time." His face fell into the pillow with embarrassment. "Please keep going."

"You don't want my mouth?"

"I love your mouth!"

I lay next to him on my side propping my head up with my hand. I let my other hand trail down his crack and touched and caressed his rim. He exhaled into the pillow. I didn't apply any pressure, I just wanted him to get used to the sensation. As his body relaxed and he moved into my hand with each touch, I got behind him and lifted his hips again placing my mouth on him, gentle but firm. "Oh God," he moaned. I pressed kiss after kiss onto him before giving him a long hard lick. "Louis!" he choked. I licked in and around him and he made the softest, prettiest sounds. I set him down and pushed him into the mattress, spreading him apart with my palms. He enjoyed the friction that the mattress provided and ground into it as I continued to kiss and lick him hungrily.

"Do it now," he cried.

"What was that?"

"I want it now. Do it now."

"Do what?" I had to torture him. I couldn't help myself.

"Fuck me! Please! I mean, make love to me. You know what I mean."

Oh, I knew. I licked him hard and let the tip of my tongue breech his rim and put my whole mouth on him until he sobbed.

I was so caught up with Harry that I hadn't noticed the pool of precum on my own c0ck. I leaked onto his thigh and he swiftly turned around and seized it with both hands. It was a miracle I didn't come then and there.

"No more teasing."

Obediently, I grabbed a condom.

Harry got on his hands and knees. He glanced back at me, his long dark curls sweeping his shoulders and said in a sultry voice, "You prefer me on my knees."

I do. I really do.

But this wasn't about me. This wasn't even about Harry. It was about us. We needed to face each other. I positioned him on his back and his eyes blinked up at me with surprise. His expression was so heartbreakingly tender I almost regretted the decision. I grabbed a pillow and tucked it beneath his hips.

I stroked his cheek and kissed him.

"I'm ready," he said.

I reached down and lined myself up with him.

"I mean," Harry stammered, "I'm ready to love you again. I do love you, Louis."

"I love you too," I moaned, and pressed into him, overcome with lust and emotion.

I'd managed to still my tears, but Harry let them spill freely. No gesture had ever been more dear to me.

Harry was tight but relaxed as I pushed into him. He would stop my hips when it got to be too much too soon and then guide them back toward himself until they were flush with his body. Once I was all the way in, I leaned down and kissed him like crazy. He grabbed my arse needing me as deep as possible. His c0ck pressed between both of our stomachs and my hunger for him took over. I moved in and out of him more forcefully, careful to reassure him. "I love you, I want you, you're perfect, you're good, Harry, you're so good." I wanted him to feel safe with me, to feel special because he was so very special.

I tried to be gentle, go slow, but then he would open his red mouth, shut his eyes, and I would lose myself for a second and thrust into him with abandon. "I'm sorry," I said.

"No, no, do it the way you like it."

I laughed, already sweating. "I like it every way with you."

Harry looked away bashfully.

I pressed his shapely thighs apart and let my eyes take him in, all of him. He was gorgeous as a boy, but as a young man he was otherworldly. Gone were his round cheeks and shapeless torso. His muscles and features were chiseled and defined, his pouty lips the only hint of the youth he left behind. He was wholly himself now, magnificent and strong.

"Get on top," I said. "I want to watch you."

I pulled out and sat with my back against the headboard. Carefully, he swung his leg over me. He reached back and positioned my c0ck against his rim and slowly sank down onto me, holding my shoulder for support. He sighed and melted into my arms. He was docile and his muscles lax. I urged him to rock back and forth and even though he was a little self-conscious he did it. For me.

"Such an angel, so pretty," I breathed, grabbing his hips to make him rock faster.

Harry threw his arms around my neck and kissed me heatedly with his mouth open. I wrapped my arms around his waist and thrust into him from below. Harry loved this position because he loved being held.

I kept thrusting and rocking with him and his head fell to my shoulder, mewling into my neck.

I reached for his c0ck but he stopped me. "No, I want to come from having you inside me, from being in your arms."

This drove me absolutely fucking insane. I bucked beneath his weight and held him so tight I thought he might break.

Harry bit down on my shoulder and his hot come spilled between us.

"Harry," I panted in amazement.

His green eyes were glassy. He was dazed and a million miles away. I kissed him and he came back to himself. We locked eyes with intensity, and with what little strength he had left Harry began to roll his hips and move up and down on my c0ck.

I lay back and watched him writhe around on my lap in awe. I'd never seen him move like this. It was glorious, filthy and obscene, maybe the sexiest thing I'd ever witnessed. I never wanted him to stop.

"Are you close?" Harry said.

I was clenching every muscle in my body trying not to come. I could watch him ride me all night.

"Louis?"

"Keep going."

Harry moved faster, throwing his head back and moaning. It was becoming harder and harder to contain myself.

I let my hands wander across his shoulders, his arms, his stomach and chest.

Harry caught my hands and pressed them against himself. "You like my body?" he said, writhing and out of breath.

I licked my lips and nodded.

Then he leaned forward and whispered seductively in my ear, "It's yours. I'm yours."

I came instantly, shouting and crying out at the top of my lungs. I'd never felt such a huge release. I thought I was having an out of body experience. I think I might have died for a second.

Harry fell on top of me and stroked the back of my head, coaxing me out of my delirium. He lifted himself off of me.

I took off the condom and shakily tied a knot in it. I barely made it to the rubbish bin before Harry dragged me back to bed.

"Hold me."

We weaved our arms and legs together and kissed, astonished by our love for each other. We were slick with sweat and come but I didn't care. This was the best. Harry was the best.

I had my hands in his hair and was watching him so fondly I was sure I was embarrassing myself. Harry had been worrying me all day with his mood swings, but even he seemed genuinely happy now.

"Louis, do you believe in destiny?"

"No. I mean, I do if you do. Yes."

"I'm being serious here." He scolded. "I think we were meant to be together. I think the universe made me a singer so I could find my way to you. I think I will always find my way back to you."

I scoffed. "I'm sure the universe had bigger plans for you, Harry. It certainly wouldn't want you to wind up with the likes of me! No, I stole you from your destiny because I wanted you all to myself." I grabbed his waist and tickled him.

"You better give me back then!"

"Never."

I kissed Harry's forehead and felt genuinely guilty for possessing this boy who I did nothing to deserve.

"Harry, this probably won't come as a total shock but... I'm not good. I'll fuck this up again somehow."

"I know."

"Harry! That is not the response I was looking for! You're supposed to say 'you're good, Louis,' 'you won't fuck this up, Louis,' 'I believe in you, Louis,' you know, stuff like that."

He wrapped his big arms around me. "I believe you'll try your best."

"I will," I said. "I just wish I could be perfect for you."

"Louis, I don't want you to be perfect. I want you to be you. I'm in love with the good and the bad."

I nestled into his arms content with this answer. "You're a lovely person, Harry. You might just be good enough for the both of us."

We stayed up all night in bed talking beneath the paper lanterns, laughing and touching, telling each other everything we'd missed in the three years we were apart. We didn't even realize we were tired. Harry was lying on my chest describing a song he'd written when he drifted off to sleep mid-sentence.

The curtains were open a crack and sliced the room with light. I got up and shut them tight. In the dark hotel room with Harry it felt like we were kids again, endlessly touring, when there was no day and no night, when cities and countries blurred together, when it was us against the world, wild and reckless: in love.

A/N: THE END

Next week I'm posting the epilogue, which takes place over a year later.

I'd love to know what you think of the ending. Did you like how they got back together?

As always thank you for reading and for making it to the end!