A/N: I finally finished this crazy chapter!!!!!

Some small points:

I don't know if I mentioned this earlier but the boys play their own instruments in this AU.

There's a POV change halfway through.

This chapter contains explicit content, but I put it at the very end. (Do NOT read past the elevator scene if you want to avoid this content).

PAST

HARRY

We had two months to prepare for the stadium tour. As lead guitarist, Louis took care of the musical arrangements, directing Liam on bass and Niall on drums. Zayn and I were both frontmen, so the more performative elements were up to us. A choreographer blocked the way we moved around each other during each song: Crisscrossing, strutting down the runway, me singing into Louis' mic and Zayn singing into Liam's, hanging back by the drum kit with Niall. This always ended up being a rough approximation of how the show would go because once we got out there and the music started playing anything could happen.

I sometimes lingered by Louis, for example. I straightened his collar when it was askew, swept his fringe out of his eyes, brought him his water bottle, pointed out the funniest signs in the crowd and pinched his bum, but in a manly way. Nothing obvious.

The crowd was one variable we could never plan around. They threw food, cans, bras, ice, even hotel keys up on stage. We became experts at dodging and diving. I didn't mind the food. The lads wouldn't touch it but damn, I got hungry up there!

Another thing I liked to do was pick up the most thoughtful item and sing to the person who threw it. Zayn hated this. For a singer in the world's biggest band, he was surprisingly introverted. He could sing to a stadium full of screaming fans, but to sing a song to one fan was too much for him. I on the other hand loved the intimacy of it. It reminded me that the fans were people, thoughtful, unique, not cogs in a screaming estrogen machine.

Our fifth stop on the stadium tour was MetLife in New Jersey. Phones lit up the darkened stadium like a blanket of fallen stars. I was dancing with a banana in my hand. I twirled over to Louis to see if he wanted a bite but he said he it was probably poisoned. "Suit yourself, more for me."

After Zayn finished the last verse of Little Things and Niall, Liam and Louis prepared for the next song, I held up a pair of Thomas the Tank Engine earmuffs. We had each been asked during a holiday press junket a few months earlier if there was a gift we wanted when we were kids that we never got and I mentioned the earmuffs. My parents couldn't find them thirteen years ago, so I didn't expect anyone else to. Somehow this girl did.

"Who threw these up on stage?" Just about every girl in the sold out stadium tried to take credit. Most fans watched earlier performances on YouTube, so they knew the drill. I was always able to find the culprit, because she was, without fail, the only person who didn't raise her hand. I just had to look for the cluster of pointing friends "It was her!"

The girl wasn't dressed up or wearing any merch. She looked like she'd come straight from school. Not the type to scour the Internet for discontinued earmuffs, I thought.

I pulled her up on stage with me.

"Thank you so much for these!" I held them up to show the guys. They looked as excited as you'd expect them to be about a pair of earmuffs.

"I am in shock. Truly. I wasn't even sure they existed. I thought I had dreamed them up."

She was shaking. I put my arm around her.

"What's your name?"

"I--I--I--" she couldn't speak.

"That's okay. If you don't mind, I'd like to thank you for this gift because it's amazing. You're amazing. Zayn!"

Begrudgingly Zayn put his earpiece back in and walked over to the edge of the stage. The girl was getting more and more nervous. I thought she might faint. It had happened before but not onstage.

I waited for Louis to begin the brief guitar solo at the start of Rock Me but he seemed distracted. "Lou," I said. He began to play.

Zayn's voice was raspier with a wider range than mine. I had sung with him for a year by that point but the tenor of his voice never failed to shake me.

I could sense the girl was fading fast until finally she just broke down and started crying.

Zayn shrugged his shoulders and just kept singing.

I assumed these were tears of joy, but lust and anger, pleasure and pain tended to blur together when fans met us. Sometimes the experience proved to be too overwhelming and that's what was happening to the girl-a full-on meltdown.

As the lads launched into the chorus, the girl suddenly threw herself into my arms. I hugged her back and laughed. "It's okay." When I tried to break free, however, she locked her arms around my neck and wouldn't let go. I tried to wriggle out of her grip and unhook them but she must have had an adrenaline rush because she had superhuman strength.

Louis' guitar screeched. He stopped playing and the song came to an abrupt halt. "Oi!" he barked at the girl. She stumbled backward.

We all turned and stared at Lou.

Silently, security escorted the terrified girl offstage.

Louis regained his composure and moved onto the next song on the setlist: They Don't Know About Us.

LOUIS

Backstage, after the show, Kevin and Judith from management decided to grace us with their unholy presence.

Harry was lying on the couch. I tickled him and whispered in his ear. "Uh oh. I'm in trouble."

"What the hell was that?" said Kevin. He was wearing a shark grey suit, his stage pass flying behind him as he came at me.

"What was what?"

"Why did you stop playing and yell at that fan?"

I poured myself a cup of tea from craft service. "She attacked Harry."

"She's a kid, she can't be more than seventy pounds!"

"I don't care who she is. Sexual harassment is not okay."

Kevin narrowed his eyes. "You weren't so concerned about harassment last week when a girl licked Zayn's face in San Diego."

Zayn clasped my shoulder, "Dude, I'm hurt. Where's the love?"

Even Niall had a go at me. "Lou, an eleven-year-old kissed my cheek during the meet & greet. Will you protect me? I'm scared."

"Niall, that eleven-year-old could kick your arse, so yes, I will protect you. You're welcome."

We laughed. Kevin didn't find it funny though.

"I don't know what's going on with you, but you can't stop playing in the middle of a sold out show. This is unacceptable, unprofessional behavior. I have to answer to the label, the concert promoter, and the sponsors. If you're not prepared to explain yourself, there could be serious consequences."

"I can explain." Harry appeared next to me and took my hand. "We're together."

My heart exploded with pride. He said it so simply, with so much confidence and ease. It was beautiful. Shocking but beautiful.

The veins in Kevin's neck bulged. Judith, on the verge of a manic episode herself, tried desperately to calm him down.

"I knew it!" said Niall.

Liam's mouth hung open. "Oh my God."

Zayn wrapped his arms around both of us smashing us into a Zayn sandwich. A Zaynwich if you will.

Through cracked lipstick, Judith quickly tried to qualify Harry's statement. "You mean you're experimenting. It's a phase."

"Uh no," Harry sassed. "It's serious."

Fact: Harry Styles is the cutest person in human history.

When Kevin finally composed himself, he stared me down and lowered his voice so the others wouldn't hear, "Harry was 100% straight the last time I checked."

"What can I say, Kevin." Nonchalantly, I took another sip of tea. "I guess I just have that effect on the lad."

"Goddammit, Tomlinson!" He yelled. "You cannot be fucking my biggest star!"

Harry raised his hand. "Actually, Sir, we haven't done that yet."

"Love, they don't need to know the details," I whispered in his ear.

"Oh." He blushed.

This isn't how I wanted the lads to find out but I was glad it was all out in the open.

"Well, now you know. Harry and I are a proper loved up couple. We'll commence making out in front of you at every opportunity. Enjoy."

Niall kicked a soccer ball at my head and Liam started strategizing "What does this mean for the band? We should let the fans know, of course, so we don't have another awkward incident like tonight."

All of us nodded in agreement.

"NO!" Kevin boomed. "None of you are to tell anyone about this. Ever."

Harry furrowed his brow, genuinely confused. "But he's my boyfriend. They're going to find out eventually."

Judith swished over to him and chided, "No, honey. That's not how things like this are handled. This," she motioned to me, "is your private life. You let us worry about your public life. That's what we're here for."

The lads looked at her, incredulous.

"You can't be serious," said Niall. "Everyone will know. I've known for weeks! They're obsessed with each other. It's disgusting. No offence."

"Cheers, mate."

"If anyone finds out about this," lectured Kevin. "The band is done. And you'll have these two to blame."

Harry looked down at his shoes. I could tell he felt guilty and it made me sick. My hands clenched into fists and I felt my face go hot.

"How does it feel to bully a pair of teenagers about their sexuality? Does it make you feel like a big man?"

Kevin bared his teeth. "Tomlinson, when you grow up and live in the real world you'll realize that life is not fair. If you're lucky you'll be half the man I am."

"I'll never be like you, Kevin."

Harry was a bundle of nerves on the ride back to the hotel. He rested his head on my shoulder and slipped a hand tightly around my waist. I was worried that management's reaction to our relationship would drive him away but it only made him cling to me harder. He was afraid to let me out of his sight even for a second. I told him that everything would be okay but I honestly wasn't sure. Judith was going to set up a meeting for the following week to talk about the "course of action" for "dealing with this issue." To them it was this huge mess that needed to be cleaned up but to me it was the most precious thing in the world.

Harry fiddled with the buttons on my shirt. "Lou, can I ask you something?"

"Everything's going to be fine, Harry. I promise."

"I know."

"Then what is it? What's wrong?"

He cleared his throat. "Why haven't we done that yet?"

"That?"

"Why haven't we gone all the way?"

I was floored by the question. "I didn't think you wanted to."

He buried his face in my chest, too embarrassed by his own smile to look me in the eye. "Of course I want to! Do you?"

I screamed internally: IT IS ALL I EVER THINK ABOUT. I WANT YOU SO MUCH I AM SLOWLY DYING.

"Yeah."

He squeezed my thigh and breathed heavily against my neck. "Let's do it. Tonight."

"Harry." I raked my fingers through his curls and kissed him, my tongue gently stroking his. "Are you sure?"

"Uh huh."

I sighed. There was nothing I wanted more then to ravage him then and there but I still wasn't convinced that he was ready.

"I don't want to do this to spite Modest. I don't want our first time together to be out of anger and hate."

Harry worked his hand up my thigh. "Lou, I've wanted to do this since the first time we kissed. Modest only made me realize how much. I'd risk everything to be with you."

"Honestly, the only reason I write songs is to hear you sing them."

"The only person I'm singing them to is you."

We started making out fiercely when the car came to a screeching halt in front of our hotel. I thought the driver would be eating up all this juicy gossip about two hot closeted gay pop stars but he looked positively exhausted by our young love. "Go on, get outta here!"

"Thanks!" We chirped, bounding out of the car to the hotel doors.

We scurried past the front desk when Harry spotted a bag of crisps on the ground. "Seriously Styles. Is there anything you won't put in your mouth? ... Don't answer that."

We waited impatiently for the elevator. Once the doors slid open, Harry pushed me inside and pinned me up against the mirrored walls, kissing me desperately. Every kiss with Harry was new and explosive. We were rediscovering each other constantly. Like, I never noticed how adorable it was when Harry tried to overpower me.

"Oh no, security cameras." He pointed upward.

"Management will take care of it. They're supposed to handle our public image, remember?"

"Cool," he slipped a hand down the front of my pants, "because I really want to touch your cock."

"You're a true romantic, Harold."

When we came to our floor I took his hand and led him to my suite. We still had separate rooms even though Harry always slept in mine. I fumbled with my key card, my hand shaking, barely able open the door. We hadn't yet stepped into the room when I began taking his clothes off-pulling the white t-shirt over his head, tugging down his skinny jeans until they pooled around his ankles. I had tunnel vision-Harry vision-all I could see was him. The world could have gone up in flames and I wouldn't have noticed. The only thing I cared about was Harry's mouth, his swanlike neck, his creamy chest, his thick thighs. Did I already say mouth? Dear God his mouth. I was in heaven. I was in hell. "Bed," was the only word I was able to utter. But Harry had his own plans. He fell to his knees and began undoing my pants.

I had just taught him to go down on me a few weeks ago. He was a novice, but what he lacked in technique he made up for in enthusiasm. Once Harry learned how to make me cum I swear it was all he wanted to do in life.

Harry peppered my stomach with kisses and nuzzled my crotch affectionately before pulling down my boxer-briefs. My cock bobbed free against the cool hotel air. He stared up at me, his clear green eyes wide with wonder as he slowly took my length into his velvety mouth. If it was possible to die from pleasure, one of Harry's blowjobs might just do me in. "Harry," I murmured, tugging absentmindedly on his damp curls. He moved with a staccato rhythm, licking and sucking frantically like his mouth was struggling to keep up with all the obscene thoughts racing through his head. "How can someone so innocent be so fucking filthy. What are you?" He looked up with a twinkle in his eye and took me deeper, until his curls brushed my stomach. The sight of Harry's lush lips moving up and down against my shaft sent a shudder through my body and damn near blinded me with lust. I knew I couldn't last long like this but there was no way I was about to stop him. Involuntarily, I began thrusting into his hungry mouth. Harry hummed with approval, grabbing my hips so that I moved harder and faster, deeper--if that was possible. Feeling that I was getting dangerously close, Harry suddenly stopped. He released me, and dragged the back of his hand against his swollen lips. "Lou," he said, his voice completely wrecked, "I want you to fuck me."

"Language!" I teased, breathless and dizzy.

I pulled him up for a kiss, his cheeks flushed, his erection pressed painfully against my thigh. If Harry were any other bloke, I probably would have fucked him a hundred times by now. But he wasn't any other bloke. He was Harry. He was an angel. I wanted everything to be absolutely perfect for him. "Lie down" I instructed tenderly, smoothing my hands over his broad shoulders.

In trying to decide if he should lie on his front or his back he knocked his knees into mine. "Sorry," he said. "I'm nervous."

"That's alright, love." I led him by the small of his back and positioned him on his stomach. I grabbed a pillow from the head of the bed and placed it underneath him so he'd be more comfortable.

"I'm not going to break, Lou. You don't have to be so careful with me."

"Hush, you're a delicate flower," I cooed.

"I'm not. I'm not even a virgin."

"Have you ever been with a guy?"

"No."

"Then you're a virgin."

"In what universe?"

"The Louis-verse."

He laughed anxiously.

Slowly, I pulled down Harry's boxers and ran a hand over his porcelain skin. "That feels good," he said. How was I so blessed? I must have been a fucking saint in a past life to deserve this.

I reached for a condom and lube and Harry hid his face in the crook of his arm. "Shy are we?" He nodded, still hiding. I slipped my hand underneath him and grazed his cock. He let's out a low moan. "Not yet," I said as I continued moving my hand back, slowly spreading him apart. A shiver went down his spine as I slid a finger inside. He whimpered.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes," he sighed. I smiled wickedly and moved my finger in and out as Harry clutched the edge of the bed, his curls hanging down in his eyes. He was breathing heavily, pressing his face into the mattress. I kissed up and down his back to release the tension there and carefully added a second finger. A jolt went through his body and mine. I didn't think I could wait much longer but he was impossibly tight--the sensitive boyfriend in me wrestling with a sex demon that was desperate to take him apart.

Thankfully the decision wasn't left up to me. In a lustful daze, Harry arched his back and hissed, "Now." He spread his legs apart further, eager to accommodate me.

I began pumping my fingers faster and faster and grabbed his cock, stroking it, gently wiping the precum off the tip. He gasped.

My own cock was throbbing wildly but I had my hands full and Harry was an absolute vision like this. He was beautiful anyway, but watching him writhe with pleasure and knowing that I was source of that pleasure was like a drug. I was completely lost in him and I didn't know if I would ever find a way back to myself.

"Now, Lou, please..." he whined. He was even prettier when he begged. I could finger him for hours if it meant looking at that face. But reluctantly I obeyed, gradually removing my fingers. He grunted with displeasure at their absence.

I kneeled behind him shakily. I was so turned on I thought I was going to black out. Holding his fleshy hips to steady myself, I entered him as slowly as I possibly could--at least I think it was slow: I no longer had any concept of time or space. Harry, poor love, was totally incoherent.

"You like this?" I said, inching my way into him further and further.

His mouth was open, panting, but he couldn't form the words.

I was completely enveloped by him now, thrusting carefully because he was still so tight. I reached underneath him and began stroking his tender cock in earnest. He let out a heavy sigh and began rocking back against me, sending my body into a frenzy.

"Stop that, Harry. It feels too good."

He didn't listen! The minx! He moaned and rocked back against me at a maddening pace. "Harry, Harry..." Not one to be outdone, I doubled down and matched his thrusts, simultaneously jerking him off with long tight strokes, until he cried out, convulsing and cumming in my hand. My own orgasm quickly followed. I burrowed my face between his shoulder blades and I came deep inside him, collapsing onto his back.

After several blissful seconds we broke apart. I turned Harry over and took his sweaty face in my hands, kissing his neck, his cheeks, his lips, his eyelashes... He was grinning. He was happy. I made Harry happy.

Bashfully, he nestled into my arms and pressed his mouth to my ear. "I love you, Louis," he said, more like a prayer than a statement. It seemed insane to me that I would even need to say the words when my whole existence was predicated on this very fact.

"I love you too, Harry." I took his hand and placed it over my heart. "Always."

A/N: I was SO nervous about posting this. I hope you liked it.