The Other Rahul:

I opened my eyes. I was lying on a hospital bed. It was Roh that came to me at once. She jumped up from her chair and bent to me?

"Duggu?" She called. Her eyes searched for something in my eyes. But who she was searching for was no longer there.

"Roh..." I called.

Her tear-filled eyes went wide in a bit of shock. "Rahul?" She asked. "Is that you?"

I nodded. She went pale. Disappointment, shock and fear and sadness clouded her face. She dropped back to the chair she was sitting. I sat up on my bed. Mom and dad were there. Mom was still crying.

"Mom," I called. On that mom cried harder. Dad was trying to get mom calm. He gave her a hug and patted her back. I watched him. I wished if he never comes to know what she did to him. Because I knew that mom does love him still. In a way... Their relationship has a chance to stay held together. I did not want to be the cause of the end of their marriage.

"Mom," I called her again. She looked up at me. "Come here," I told her.

She walked to me and then started crying hugging me. So much drama...

I freed myself from her hug. "Stop crying," I said. "And don't hug me. And I don't really want to say this and all, but...it's okay. Whatever it was, it was in the past. Don't make a scene of now."

She was looking at me.

"What?"

"You are really back." She said. "You are back to normal."

"Yeah," I said. I guess the other guy was nothing like me, so she could easily see the difference.

"And you will be here. You won't leave, right?" Mom asked.

"I guess..."

There was more of that crying drama. And then dad wanted an explanation. I had to explain to him. Because Roh seemed to be in a daze. She was sitting there like a statue, pale and unable to move. I felt bad for her. He was a good guy.

When I was explaining about him taking mom to the place of the accident, Roh looked at me.

"How did you come back?" She asked.

"Well, he was hurting mom. On purpose, but still... And she said she will die if I am dead" I looked away. It's really embarrassing to say these things. "Can we cut the drama now? I want to go home. I don't get why we are still in the hospital. I feel fine. Can we go home?"

A few days after I came back, I knocked on Roh's door. She opened the door and looked at me. She was avoiding me like I was invisible for the past few days. So it was for the first time I saw her up close after being back. She looked like a mess. Eyes red. She probably cries a lot nowadays.

"Can I talk to you?" I asked her. "Please," I added as I felt she might try to avoid me again.

She nodded. She came out of the room, instead of letting me inside.

"Roh, I know you are sad. But at least pretend to be a bit happy in front of me? Aren't you even the least bit happy that I am back?"

She looked at me. "Of course I am." She said. "I am happy you are back."

"You don't look like that though," I said. "And you have been avoiding me ever since I came back."

"What do you expect me to do?" She asked, her eyes filling up again. "I can't see your face. When I look at you, I see him. I start missing him. But he is not here..."

I have never seen her cry. I have known Roh since I was a baby. But she rarely cried. The last time I saw her crying this much was when her parents passed away. So I felt really bad. It was the same for her. Someone who was as dear to her as her parents were was not with her anymore.

"I don't even know where he is, or if he is dead..." She cried.

I took her into a hug. "I am sorry Roh," I said to my sister. She had always been like my sister. She was not a replacement to Rhea for me, even when Rhea was alive I was closer to Roh than Rhea. Even when Rhea was alive, Roh and Rhea both were my sisters. So I wished if she were not hurting. And I felt responsible to some extent. "I am sorry," I patted her head.

She drew away from me and looked into my eyes. "You are really Rahul," she said in a defeated voice. "Just our plain old Rahul."

"Yeah," I said. I realized she said that because of the eyes. She could no longer see him in my eyes.

"I am sorry, Roh..." I said.

"Why are you saying sorry?" She asked.

"Just...felt like it's my fault," I said.

"No, it's not." She said. "Never was..."

She pushed me away and walked inside her room shutting the door behind her.

I hoped that she will get better. As time passes, she will get better. Time heals everything.

Mom was getting better by each day. She was more cheery and less teary. And dad was trying to help patch up the problems between mom and me. He still did not know about mom cheating on him. But that was in the past. Just one time. And I could see that mom and dad had a more mature relationship that is beyond things like that.

I guess the other Rahul helped me a bit in realizing things like that. Rahul Bhai, I had decided to refer to him as that; Rahul Bhai was more open-minded and mature than I ever was. While he was there in my body, I could hear and feel his thoughts along with him, though he never knew. So I was slowly forgiving mom, thanks to Rahul Bhai.

Mom was getting better. But Roh was not.

Roh immersed herself in her studies. We could barely see her at home. She was rarely seen at college except in class-hours. She refused to talk to me. She refused to even look at me. She did not talk much with anyone. She was kind of like living dead for a while. She did eat and go to college. But it felt like she did not sleep much. And she was suddenly studying way too much.

After a couple of months, I decided that this can't go on. So I deiced to confront her again.

I pushed open her room's door and walked into the room. She looked up. She was at her table, studying as usual. I closed the door behind me so as I needed to talk to her privately. I did not want mom and dad to overhear. I went and sat with her.

"Hey, Rahul...I was just finishing this assignment." She said, casually. Pretending that she was okay. "Did you finish it?" She asked.

"No," I said. "It's not due until next week" I reminded her.

"Yeah, I know... But it's best to finish before time." She avoided my eyes and looked back into the screen.

"Roh, look at me," I said. "I need to talk to you."

"Go on," She said, not taking off her eyes from the laptop screen.

"Roh, look at me," I said annoyed. "Since when do you plan to not look at my face?"

That got to her. She slowly looked at me. But it was like there was a wall between us. She was guarded.

"If I can do anything to help," I said. "Anything at all..." I wanted to help. "If you want me to be like him, I can... I mean, you are like a sister to me, but if you want me to stop feeling like that and think of you as a girl, I can. I mean, I will try. I can try... If you want me to sleep with you, I can."

"Stop it..." She hissed, in a concerned voice. "You don't have to force yourself. And I don't want you to do anything like that. You are not him." She looked away.

I sighed...

"But you did sleep with me though. With my body." I said.

She looked back at me. I felt like taunting her a bit. "You did all sort of things with it..."

"You know..."

"Oh, I know. I could see it all."

She went pale in embarrassment.

"It was still my body." I shrugged.

"Ah..." She covered her face with her hands.

I laughed a bit. It was good to have at least gotten her out of that sad phase and made her embarrassed about something.

"How was it?" She asked through her hands with hesitation.

"It felt like seeing a movie," I said, honestly.

"Movie?" She asked, letting her hands down.

"I could still see everything. But not feel it. It was like watching a movie. Seeing someone else's life." She was now looking at me. "At least I can assure you that when you two were doing stuff," I cleared my throat, "The one who had felt the orgasm was Rahul Bhai. Not me."

She stared at me. "I am telling the truth," I said.

"No. Not that." She said, "Rahul Bhai?"

"Ah... Duggu for you."

"You refer to him as Rahul Bhai." She said, smiling slightly for the first time in a while.

I shrugged. And she was still smiling.

"To tell you honestly," I said, "I kind of miss him too."

Roh went sad again. Tears lined her eyes.

"You know what's horrible?" She said. "I don't even know if he is alive or dead. I don't know the whereabouts of his body that is in the US somewhere... Is he alive? If he is, does he remember me...Because maybe he does not. And if he is dead... I don't even know for sure."

Yeah, coz if he was dead, she could have mourned for him and be done with it. This uncertainty leaves her hanging and not fully let go of him. She will never be able to move on like this.

"Then search for him," I said. "Go to him,"

She looked at me with questioning eyes.

"You never thought about that?" I asked. "Seriously? I am sure if we ask the hospital here in which he was admitted they will tell us to which hospital in the US he was shifted to."

"But what if he is dead?" She whispered to me, with fear. I understood what stopped her from searching for him. The fear that it might be in vain. Now at least she can hold on to the hope that he might be alive. Death makes it final.

"But you want to know, right? If he is alive or dead?" I asked.

She looked uncertain. "I can ask the hospital about his whereabouts. They may tell me. I had been in the accident with him and all. And Rahul Bhai had gone there a couple of times and me. So.... I guess they will trust me enough to tell me."

Roh nodded a bit thankfully.

"But please be prepared to hear anything," I said. If he is really dead, I really hated delivering the news to her. I hoped he is not dead. Because I did not want Rahul Bhai to be dead either.