The last part of the story ^^ 

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That day still haunts him like yesterday..

where he lost his faith..

Hated himself for the decision he made..

yet he cursed the pouring rain.

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The heavy rain finally slowly subsided. Most of the remaining scout reached Whitz Castle that being used as a temporary base to regroup. The commander and his people counting on casualities and recheck everything. Gunther and Eld came together not long after Auruo arrived and treated for his injuries earlier.

"Oi Auruo ! You alive ?!" Gunther approached him

"Heh, ofcourse i do funnyhead" Auruo replied

"Well you look like shit haha" Eld continued

"Ha ha ha" Auruo laughed sarcasticly

"So... Where is Petra ? Is she helping the wounded like she usually does?" Gunther asked.

"She will come later.." Auruo looked down unproud of himself

"What you mean later..? wait...did she asked you to leave first ?" Eld gripped on his collar

"She fought , didn't she ?!" Gunther raised his voice

"Anyone helped her ?!" Eld asked keeping his voice loud

"....No...she sellfishly asked me to runaway..you know how hardheaded she is..." Auruo replied in low voice

"huh...if thats so.." Eld released his grip. Luckly Auruo didn't bit his tongue

"I just hope she will come.. What about Heichou then ?" Gunther continued

"Levi not here ?" The tall blonde man approached them

"Co—commander !" The boys saluted him

"At ease. So Levi and Petra still not here yet ?" The man didn't change his expression

"Yes...sir..we encountered many titans on the way here" Eld replied

"If thats so..go ahead and rest well. You fought well" The commander coldly walked away

"ERWIN..! Levi's back !" Hanji shouted at them . Erwin and the rest of the squad followed her outside the building.

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The dark clouds finally faded away revealing the glimpse of afternoon sunshine.The sound of the wind, Birds flying, and the smell of wet soils met the wild grass on the ground around is the only thing vividly felt by everyone as they went silent looking at the 160cm height captain limping along his way to the building. There were blood and dirt on his face and mostly on his both hand. But it wasn't only that. Everyone was shocked at what they saw.

A small body covered with his green cape he carried along the way on his arm was the cause of everyone shockness. He hold the body dearly not letting it go despite the heavy weight for his injured ankle. Blood kept dripping from the fragile body's head as the wind revealed a bit of the strawbery blonde hair which everyone recognized. His dark stoic expression expressed everything. It was getting more vivid when the raven hair reached the castle entrance. No one dare to ask. No one dare to approach. Not even the rest of his squad.

"I'm sorry for your lost...captain" It was the commander who solely expressed his condolence

The shorter man stopped awhile next to him. He wanted to curse, he wanted to shout, he wanted to punch his whole face,rip those eyebrows, he wanted to blame him. But he couldn't. He didn't turn his head to him. He kept his stoic face and moving forward inside the castle.

"He...hei..chou...is...that......" Eld couldn't finish his sentence

"Help me wrap her" It was all he said and his voice was a bit croacked.

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The nightfall came, it turned out that the casualties were bigger than expected although it was better than their last expedition with the same rainy situation years ago. The commander finally made his decision to retreat later at dawn. Everyone was eating dinner rations. But some didn't, that includes the four man who were sitting quietly near the fireplace.

"Heichou...I'm sorry..i shouldn't have left her alone.." Auruo was the one who break the ice

"You were badly injured..it wasn't your fault Auruo.." Gunther reassured him

"But...she...she...tch...petra...." The curly haired man broke into tears

"She fought well till her death..did she..?" Eld added

"She did" The raven haired man finally spoke leaving the rest of the man silenced again looking at him

"I made wrong decision that cost her life. That's the fact. All blame on me" He couldn't take it any longer as he stood up leaving his squad

"You told us not to regret things captain..it's not your fault" Eld told him, after a short stop the short man continued his walk not saying further

He went to the wagons that kept the deceased body, apparently the body he was looking for was put seperately and not stacked with the others. Hanji who was in charge of the bodies approached him.

"I think she wants some space.." She sadly smile

"Thankyou for that..Hanji.." He approached the body not facing the glasses woman.

"Yeah sure.." The tall woman stood back.

He opened the wrap that blocked her face. She looked in peace. Those lively skin now went pale. Yet he still found her beautifull no matter what. He traced her face with his fingers that once covered with her blood. Even if he didn't show changes on his face, Hanji could still feel the guilt over him as he cut the petite woman badge from its pocket.

"What are you doing Levi..?"

"This badge is a proof that she lives. And i'll always keep it"

"I see..she is still so young..I guess i'll never be able to make coffee and tea as good as she does..." tear fell from the woman's eyes

"You won't..no one can do better than her.."

He wrapped the body once, ready to get into the castle again

"Petra told me something that might excite you.."

"hmm? What is it ?"

"Monkey kind of titan does exist"

"Eh?" The brown haired was left dumbfounded

And the man returned inside.

The survey corps made their comeback to Karanes district in the morning without any further casualities. Even though they succeed getting into further wall maria's territory. The previous day rain was too harsh for them to keep the mission. As usual, once the gate opened , people gathered in line waiting for their returned family members, or simply just wanted to trashtalk about the scout. But everyone kept their gloomy face.

"Levi-dono! Levi-dono!" A slightly taller man approached the raven haired man. He didn't know who the man is, he never met the man either, but he thought he might know him. Yet he didn't want to know"

"I'm Petra's father, it seems like i haven't seen her yet thats why i was looking for you" The shorter man kept walking with frozen face

"I didn't have a chance to properly thank you for letting my daughter into your squad, she said through her letter that you admire her skill and strenght so much that starstrucked her and it just worries me haha..."

Realizing the non-changed expression of the shorter man he was talking to, he lowered his voice

"So where is she...? is she injured..?"

The shorter man stopped

"Is she.....?"

"I'm sorry"

The older man changed his expression. Levi maintained his head low looking at the ground. His chest felt so heavy.

"Can...I..see her body then..."

Levi showed the way to the wagon where her body left on. The father saw his daughter face for the last time as he struggled to keep his tears. Levi stood next to him silently. After few moments he finally said something to him.

"I always knew this will happend soon or later...Her mother died the same way..yet she kept joining the scouts to avenge her mother's death...But i think she is far stronger than her mother..She fought well right..Captain?"

"She did....Mr. Ral..I'm so sor-"

"Don't be..it's not anyone faults but the titans right..? I knew that.." The man slightly smiled letting his daughter go.

The shorter man was surprised at the older man replies.

"Just please give her proper burrial will you..?" He asked lastly

"We will sir.."

Just by that, his weight slighty lifted at the man words to him. He was such a kind man he thought. Perhaps thats where Petra got her warm hearted character that everyone in the scout loves and he loves. The scouts all returned the HQ.

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That night, Levi managed to clean up Petra's bedroom, Hanji volunteered to reserved her clothings from the wardrobe earlier on the afternoon. It turned out that her room was very clean and neat.Yet Levi wanted to leave her room more spotless as clean as he could. The pleasant odor filled the room that came from a potpurris on the windowsill she made herself that contains dried roses, rosemary, cypress, pines and other plants. He used to saw her collecting those plant outside the HQ.

He never actually entered her room before. Perhaps just once when it was her first day on his squad and he showed the room to her that left her shocked due to the decent size for a single person as she usually spent her night on the barracks with bunch of the other girls before. He still remembered her cute shocked face back then and slightly smiled on the thoughts.

He put her books and other stuffs into some boxes that he will personally send back to her home to her father later as he learned more stuffs about her from the belonings.

Now he knew that it turns out that she was a novel reader like him from the amount of novels she got on her small bookcase next to her desk. No one really knows about that one hobby of him since he only read on his room, and not many people have entered his personal room either.

He also found some sewing tools left on the drawers. He remembered that she gave a handkerchief sewed with his initial on the side for his previous birthday that he still treasured.

On the desk, he picke up a sketching book and looked inside, It surprised him how well she is at drawing. She mostly draw nature as he kept flipping over the pages. It was when he saw a sketch of 5 people he stopped. It was a drawing of his squad. Everyone was smiling except for himself, and He wondered how she could even draw his grumpy face perfectly. He chuckled. He felt warm on his chest.

Lastly he made her bed. He realized that it was only her bed that wasn't properly neat, perhaps she woke up late on the day of the expedition before. He couldn't bear thinking about how she felt before leaving her bed that day, the day where she died. Did she somehow got a hunch of bad feelings that day? He traced along the sheets feeling even more heavy.

While he was making her bed, a letter fell off the ground from under the pillow. He picked it up and saw "For Levi Heichou" words on it. He hesitated at first before opening it

Dear Levi Heichou

I personally never want you to read this.. but If one day you manage to find and read this letter then it might be that i already died somehow.. Usually, I never want to write something like this before any expedition , but the night before yesterday's expedition.. somehow my gut tells me to. So I wrote this overnight since i couldn't sleep well. Perhaps I will wake up late on D day haha...This is just some kind of insurace.

Heichou...whatever happends to me later on, please don't blame yourself over it.And i don't want to burden you more because you had enough weight on your shoulders already. I want to thankyou deeply from my heart for letting me join your squad, it was such an honour. I didn't know why you were so hard on me on everything especially at training but thanks to you i became stronger than ever.I wanted to believe that i'll be there with the rest of the squad on the day where we eradicate all the titans in this world. I wanted to be there..But no one can guarantee any of that right?

At least in this cruel world i had fun with the whole squad. Making coffee for you in late night and had some conversation is one of the thing I'll treasure myself because thats where i admires you more in every way. And somehow that admiral turned into something warm in my heart...and wondered if you feel the same...

I'm sorry for letting you down..I'm so sorry..Please tell the others that I'm sorry..

Through these years, If you feel the same way to me, as much as I want to confess my feelings to you... i just can't let that happen, knowing that i had died before you. I just can't let you say such things to a loser like me. I can't let you say those beautiful words to me. I wish you a happy life and please..save those words for any other lucky woman someday...

Promise me you'll do that will you?
I'll be waiting for you..but please don't come too soon okay? Hehe..

Sincerely, Petra

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The heavy Rain crashed the ground as he also felt crushed inside. He felt sharp pain inside his chest as he found it harder to breathe. The usual facade we wore just broke down that moment. He gripped hard on the letter he just read. Holding her bed sheets as he fell on the ground.He couldn't hold his tears any longer. He had kept himself silent the whole day since she died on his arm. All of the emotion just crushed. He burst into tears keeping his best not to wail too much but he just failed.

The rain prevent his wails not to be heard outside the room.

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It was the last day where he cried over someone

And that day still haunts him like yesterday..

where he lost his faith..

hated himself for the decision he made...

yet he cursed the pouring rain.

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"Cursed" Finished. Thanks for reading ^^ please looking forward to my other Rivetra serries on wattpad and tumblr ^^ https://yasminozrose.tumblr.com/