__________________________________

That day still haunts him like yesterday..

where he lost his faith..

Hated himself for the decision he made..

yet he cursed the pouring rain.

___________________________________

The rain didn't stop yet and didn't get any better. The entire soldier of the mighty scouting legion were still fighting for survival in the middle of the mist and headed to Castle Whitz to the west for temporary protection and regrouping. Rain indeed messed everything up and caused bigger casualities. Levi knew this situation well.. too well.. Both himself and Petra were on the run to catch up with the rest of the team on full speed after they saw the massive footprints on their team direction.

Somehow rain got the better of the woman as she felt her temperature rising up followed by some dizzyness and shivered body, even her teeth began to quiver acompanied by some short breath in between. It was getting hard to make some clear shape on her vision under the heavy rain. a part of her wanted to tell her captain that she needed some rest somehow but how could she? when they both knew that the rest of their squad might be in danger right now. Luckyly the captain wouldn't realize her condition as she always maintain her position a bit back from him. At least she could hear the sound of his horse ahead to follow.

They should have been near with their squad position by now. It felt strange that they haven't heard any sound flare that might signaled the titan matched with the footprints they just saw. Suddenly, Levi's horse tumbled down causing him to fell ahead hard right on the dirt to his face with a loud thump.

"Heichou!! You alright?!" Petra hurriedly came to his direction and helped him to stand.

"What...the hell.." He managed to held her arm for some support as he felt something wasn't right with his ankle from the rough fall.

"What were you stumled at...?" She tried to look around for some good explanation only to found the dark horse shieked on them from the falling spot. Both of them went to the direction

"Wh...at.....is...happening...?" They both were shocked at what they saw.

A single head only of a soldier that they both knew. "It's...Gelgar...." He clenched his teeth

And it wasn't just the head, they looked around the perimeter and realized that Gelgar's entire squad were slaughtered. The same titan footfrints were still there.Petra felt her knees just gave up on the horryfying sight, she felt even more nausious

"Gelgar-san is one of the veteran soldier wasn't he heichou..?" She rhetorically asked.

"Let's go" He managed to ride his horse even with the seems like sprained ankle. She didn't have time to asked for his condition. They continued their way with horrible thoughts remain. She couldn't imagine the heavy pressure on her captain right now as he needed to make sure that everyone's ok, yet he managed to keep his composure in every situation. "Are they ok ...? They won't end up like them.. right..?" It was all she thought along the way

A sound flare suddenly be heard from ahead, The shadows from massive titan finally be seen. There were 8 titans remaining as maybe the other 2 were already killed by Gelgar's team earlier. What surprised them most was the sight of Eld and Gunther who were fighting the titans. Auruo somehow still unconciouss on the horse a bit far from the attack "EELLLLDDD !! GUNTHERR!!!" Petra shouted from a far, they prepared their blades. Levi began to strategize the best movement they could do to handle these 7 titan.. He realized that some of them must be an abberant. "Shit..what should we do.."

"Should we just go fight it together and just fucking try our best shot on those 8 big ass titans..? Is that too risky..?"

"Or..."

He made his decision right on that time.

"ELD , GUNTHER KEEP FIGHTING, JUST ONE TITAN EACH ! LEAVE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE "

"PETRA! BRING AURUO AND LURE 2-3 NORMAL TITANS FROM THERE AND JUST OUTRUN IT TILL YOU REACH THE BASE !"

"I'LL LURE THE ABBERANTS OUT"

There was no room for further discussion as they followed their captain's order immidiately. Petra went to Auruo direction and Hold the rear of his horse and tied it with hers as she quickly lured 3 titans to her direction and finally out of the horizon. Nobody knows what kind of titan she lured to her direction there. "Be safe" He said to himself.

He joined the other 2 boys on the titan's horde as he lauched his gear on the tallest titan who appeared to be an abnormal of the group he judged. He propelled his body at tremendous force on the titan as he did his signature whirling move and cut the arm so fast before blinding its sight. Not rushing to cut the nape, he took care another titan behind him as he went down first to cut the limbs to make it fell first and made a kill cut after that. He came back to the first titan to make another kill cut. Eld and Gunther managed to kill their own titan one of each but he realized that Gunther already not suitable to fight anymore as his bleeding got worse. "4 Left...tch". He couldn't risk another life anymore

"ELD, BRING GUNTHER OUT NOW AND CATCH UP WITH PETRA !" He commanded

"But sir.. the remaining 4 might be some abnormals..!" Eld replied

"I got this ! Listen, Petra might be in trouble by now if none of you come to help! NOW GO!"

Realizing that their captain was right, they followed his order and went to Petra's direction. Now he just need to focus on the remaining titans ahead infront of him. He felt sharp pain on his ankle while he was in mid air to make a move, but he didn't want to buy it. Adrenaline ran through his veins as he kept on slashing limbs and napes of the titans mercilessly. He didn't get Humanity's Strongest tittle for nothing. Even 4 abnormals still no match for him usually. But it was the rain and the injured ankle that made him doubt himself. The last time he killed a titan in the middle of the rain was when his dear friends killed........

"Farlan....Isabel.....I won't make the same mistakes again"

He cut another nape, Blades broken, He jumped and changed his blades to the other titan direction and killed another again, 2 remained.

""I'm fighting for my survival now..for my team" He gritted his teeth when he failed on making a kill cut and was punched by a titan hand as he fell down hard on the ground and tried to stand again. Somehow his gear still worked but He felt blood running through his forehead now as his vision getting blurred. His ankle kept bertaying him. The pain getting worse by now.

"Ah...How are you guys up there" A titan head came to his direction. He slashed on the fingers quickly and made his way up to its arm and its back but the titan skin was slippery as he tumbled on its back near the nape. His reel somehow got stuck on its back when he was about to aim the neck leaving him in an awkward position. The other titan gaze and smiled terryfingly at him as its face was getting closer ready to eat him by any moment.

"Is it my time guys..?"

.

.

He shook his head and quickly cut the broken wires and fell into the ground, Adrenaline rushed through his vein as he quickly ran off leaving the two titan and whistle for his dear horse. The titan followed him ofcourse, He slashed another fingers that tried to get some grip from him. His 3DM gear completely useless right now as it seemed like the rain cause it to malfunctioned. He hold his dear life with the remaining 2 blades left for life. He knew he couldn't reach the nape of the 2 titans left so he hoped by cutting their hands is enough to buy some time. His horse came and he quickly jumped onto it. He usually need some effort to get onto his horse due to his shortness but he made a single jump due to the intense feeling he had. 

"HA!" He dashed in full speed slowly leaving the recovering titans in the mist. He thought he almost given up back then. But it was his remaining squad who kept him survive. And his promise to the woman that kept him fighting. He only got minor cuts on his arm and face but it was the dirt he couldn't bear any longer. He rushed to the castle direction hope that the others already reached it safely too.

Meanwhile, three titans still run into Petra and Auruo direction. She hate the fact that Auruo unconciousness made her need to be more careful on their horse speed not to make him fall moreover she couldn't even try to fight it when her knocked out friend on site. Her condition wasn't good at all, The fever started to get the better of her as some yellow lights started to form on the edge of her vision. She looked back occasionally to see the titans "Just give up will you?!!" She tried to shout at them knowing that it was all useless.

"...tch..Are you gone crazy to talk with titans ..Petra?" Auruo finally regain his conciousness still looked pained with the ropes that attached his body with his horse saddle.

"Auruo ! Finally oh god..are you ok ?" Her face full of concern

"I think my ribs broken somehow..not to mention my head..what's this shitty situation we are at now...?" He tried to lookback

"No time to explain! Just keep into this direction to castle Whitz now to regroup! This rain doesn't get even better. But these titans just won't give up soon it will catch us! , I'm getting pissed already!" She explained annoyedly

"How many more kilometer till we reached the castle?" He asked

"ughh... I don't know for sure but at least im sure its on this direction..Just go on full speed"

"Our horses seems got tired already Petra... Where are the others ? where is Heichou?"

She realized that Auro was right. Their distance were just getting closer to the titans due to the exhaustion of their horses. This couldn't keep on she thought. They need a plan. She saw a small forest with tall trees at the edge of the horizon.

"Auruo! Just go ahead and I'll distract the titans and lure them to that little forest there and try to killed it there!"

"Alone ?! What the hell Petra , I will go with you !"

"In your condition ?! You not gonna help at all ! Gunther and Eld gonna catch us up soon ! so if you really want to help me then just go on and regroup with the others and then help me if i hadn't come back yet !"

It might be the best solution for now, Auruo finally agreed. "You better coming back Petra" He shouted

She nod and stop a while to get the titans attention, Luckly the titan bought it and now followed her direction. The forest she saw earlier finally lauched her self to the trees and started to attack on the titans.

The tallest titan approached her first. She manuevered to reach its eyes and quickly blind its sight. Then went down to cut the limbs. The 2nd Titan came , she lauched her gear to its arm and legs causing it to fall. The third titan almost grip her so she flew to the branch for a short break. But she was shocked that the 3rd titan could climb on the tree fast despite its smaller figure. But thats just too dangerous. Taking three titans accompanied by some headache at once is too much for her. More over, A monkey titan ?!! what were the odd chance like this happend. Hanji must have loved to see this titan she thought. She don't even have flares on her horse to call some help. And it was still raining hard. It was all or nothing. 

She changed her blades looked determined. The sound of her boots charged from the branch echoed the whole forest. She tried to get away from that monkey titan first and focused on the remaining two.

Just when she was about to make a kill cut on the now blinded titan, the monkey titan flew to her direction and managed to grip her wire accidently making her to fell hard with such force on the ground from 30m height. The impact was too much as she rolled on the ground, crashing her 3DM Manuever gear and knocked her head hard form the big roots on the surface the awfull fall cracked everything on her body. She felt numb. Her vision blurred. Her feverish state just made everything worse. She was sure that her skull crushed at some point. 

"I made a wrong decision am I...?"

"I hope the others are safe now.." As much as she hate to admit. She started to gave up on everthing that moment. She closed her eyes waiting for the titan to grip on her.

.

.

*CLANK* *Thump*The ground suddenly trembled.

"PETRAAAA !!" The short man ran to her side and wrapped her body on his arm

She couldn't say much since blood now came out from her mouth. Couldn't move any muscles. It was even harder to breathe. Her honey colored eyes met his icy blue. She realized that he killed those titans so fast. But he didn't arrive any faster. She couldn't see her captain's face clearly anymore.

"Hang on...!" He asked her desperately . He realized when he hold the back of her head. He could feel her skull literally crushed revealed the mushy feeling there. That touch horrified him. He move his hand a bit down and saw only blood coming out from her crushed skull. His hand trembled on the sight. Right on that time, he knew that he was too late. And there was no way she gonna survive that blow. He gritted his teeth and put his forehead on hers. The rain slowly began to stop

He realized on the heating temperature of hers. He released himself and stare on her eyes.

"You got fever..? Why didn't you tell me before..." She didn't reply, yet her eyes slightly still opens. Her tears now visible to him

"Petra...I shouldn't have left you...damnit...I'm Sorry...sorry..sorr-" Her hand managed to grip on his jacket tight.

"It's...alright....It sucks..right...the rain...?" She struggled to even speak

The rain. She was right. It was all the rain that screwed everything up. He knew that well. But still, just if he was on her side all along. No. Perhaps he even made wron decision far before. No. He couldn't think anymore. She cpughed up some blood again. Her body shaken up

"Heichou...I think..I'm Not...gonna...make it...!" She started to cry .

He quickly embraced her tightly. Ignoring all the blood on their body right now. It was just their first mission as a squad together. They just been together for months. She knew that she grew some feelings toward him in those months even before he promoted her to his squad. Should she confessed to him.. right now..? No..

"Heichou.....Did i do well...? I won't die in vain right...?" she muffled in between her ragged breath

"Petra" He tried to reassure her despite the pain she felt to make her calmer.

"I've been keeping an eye on you since....since your first expedition..and you survived all of those..you are the bravest woman i ever knew ever..you know that" He look deep into her eyes

This entire time..He already notice her since her first day..?

"And of course, your death won't be in vain. You are part of my squad after all." He put a hint of smile across his face. Something so rare to see.

It was everything she need. Everything she wanted to hear before her death come.

"Petra..I need to confess something..despite of everything bad i did to you until now..I just wanted you to know that I...-"

Her hand closed his mouth and prevent him to finished his sentence, his confession.

"Heichou...Please...tell Hanji about the monkey titan earlier...she might love it..Also..tell the others...that I'm sorry.." She put on her best smile on him despite her bloodied mouth

"..tch..I will...Petra I need to tell you that..-" She pulled him closer and cling on to put her face close by his neck and ear. It caught him off guard. He felt her wet cheek mixed with her blood. Yet she didn't let her face to face him no more.

"Thankyou..."

"Petra...?"

He felt that her body started to weight more on him.

"Petra...?!" He faced her. He eyes still a bit open. But there were no more lights there. She had gone.. She had gone...for real.. He embraced her fragile body..He felt a huge pressured on his shoulder, pain inside his heart. He couldn't take any more of that.

He closed her eyes that moment with his palm. It was his last time to see that honey colored eyes that always warms his heart back in the walls. The eyes he always love. The last time he saw her smile. The smile that he never returned to her back then. He knew that in this kind of world, none can guarantee their own life including him. The feeling of losing her surprised him even more. That exact time. He just knew that he had fell deeper into her than he imagined. Why he was too late to realize that. Tears started to fell from his eyes, accompanied by some wails in between.

"Why....why...Petra...Why you didn't let me finish my sentence..." He chuckled embraced her tighter

His shoulder trembled so bad. Ragged breath. And croacked wails.

"I..Love..you..." He told her hoped that he would hear some response somehow

"Why you didn't.... let me say that to you....why..Petra...!" He cried in agony not losing her on his arms

He looked up the grey skies above. Let the rain washed his face. He kept shouting in agony holding her fragile body tight. Her usual warm body now all cold. She was no longer shines No more tea or coffee in the middle of the night. No more small talks....Nothing more....

_______________________________________

That day still haunts him like yesterday..

where he lost his faith..

Hated himself for the decision he made..

yet he cursed the pouring rain.

_______________________________________