Cailin's POV

My fingers were tapping against my wooden table.

My heart was beating faster than usual.

I was excited. A little bit too excited.

When the doorbell rang, I jumped out of my chair so far I almost tripped over it. Opening the door, it revealed Nathan behind it. I squealed in excitement. Immediately my arms wrapped around him tight, not wanting to ever let go.

" I'm so happy you're finally here" I squealed.

" me too" Nathan smiled.

I dragged him into the apartment and sat down with him on the couch. With my legs over his and our hand intertwined, this is how I liked it. This had become so comforting over the years. Having him next to me calmed down all of my nerves. He had become my anchor of some sort. My calm during a storm.

We met a year after Roy had been born. Jess decided to take me out for a night on the town in London. We ended up in an upscale bar in downtown London. That where I met him. I was a bit hesitant when talking to him. Mostly because this was that first guy I had even thought about talking to since Harry. Also because of who I was. But when I realized he didn't even know who I was, every single nerve in my body relaxed. I brought up how beautiful the photography was on the bar walls. That's when he confessed that he was the photographer behind those photographs.

Nathan traveled to many different places over the years to do his photography. He spent the night telling me about some of the places he had traveled. It was refreshing to hear a stranger talk about themselves instead of asking me about my life.

Nathan and I casually dated for a couple of months until he insisted that we were more than anything casual. That's when I knew I had to be honest with him on who I was and that I had a daughter as well. I honestly expected him to run for the hills. But he didn't. Nathan didn't care about the pop star glamour, that's how humble and simple he was. As for Roy, he couldn't wait to meet her. But I made him wait a year before getting to meet her. I did that so she could be protected from anyone who was just here for a short while. Nathan was here for the long run

Loving Nathan was something that I had never experienced. Everything with him was nice and simple. I didn't really fight. We let each other have our own careers without resenting each other. I never felt like I had to worry about him and vice versa. I was never a nervous wreck when I was with Nathan. I was happy with him.

" you're wearing your ring" Nathan smiled down as he touched my engagement ring.

" I always wear it at home" I smiled back.

" good" he responded.

Nathan had asked me to marry him right before Roy and I moved back to New York. I didn't need to process my answer in order to say yes. I knew Nathan was the guy that I needed to marry. Everything was perfect with him.

So when I told Liam about the engagement, he was happy for us but he also warned me about it becoming public. My engagement becoming public could hurt my comeback announcement. So he told me to hold it off for a couple of weeks. Just so people could focus on my music first rather than my personal life.

" how's Roy doing here in New York?" Nathan asked.

" she's absolutely the happiest she's ever been" I laughed.

Nathan looked over at me laughing along.

" She loves Chloe, she already has a little friend, and paparazzi haven't been hounding her which is what I wanted all along" I explained.

" I knew she'd love it here" Nathan chuckled.

Nathan's relationship with Roy was very strong. It was very similar to the one she had with Liam. He protected her and took care of her as if she was his own. It made me know that he would always be there for her when she needed it. In the beginning it was difficult explaining to her that Nathan wasn't her father because he was around so much. That's when Nathan convinced her to call him Uncle Nate.

" how about we go to what we love to do the most" he winked over her me with a smirk.

" eat pizza and watch a movie n the bed?" I asked.

" of course" he chuckled.

As Nathan took a shower in the master bedroom, I ordered our pizza from down the street and waited by the living room. A couple of minutes later the doorbell rang. Surprised by how fast the pizza came, I rushed to the door.

But as soon as I opened the door, I could feel my smile slowly fade away.

It was Harry at my door.

My heart sped as I realized that Nathan could walk out of the bathroom at any moment.

" Harry... what are you doing here?" I asked.

Harry seemed a bit disappointed by my question. All the other times, I had been so welcoming when it came to him and his son. But this time was different. This time Nathan was here.

" can I come in?" he asked.

" I don't think that's good idea" I shook my head as I looked back into the apartment making sure Nathan hadn't come out yet.

Harry nodded his head as he sighed.

" I wanted to talk to you... about us" he said.

Immediately I wanted to stop whatever he was going to say. With Nathan being here, everything that happened between Harry and I had been risky. The flowers were wrong. The text messages were wrong. The kiss was wrong.

" Harry..." I began, " what happened the other night should have never happened. That was a mistake that sometimes two old friends make. I have my life now, and so do you"

" well I don't think it was a mistake" he argued.

I looked at him knowing that my emotions were getting the best of me. This is what Harry did to me. He brings out emotions that I don't even realize that I'm compressing.

" we were never a mistake, Cailin. We were simply two kids who weren't mature enough for each other back then. Looking at everything we went through back then, you don't think that is was for a reason? I think that were were put together for a much bigger reason than we realized. Do you even want to think about what could have become of me without you? If you weren't there to calm me down so many times. If you weren't there to protect me from my father? I wouldn't be here today. I wouldn't have my son" he said.

I couldn't look away from him as he said all those things. They seemed all true. I was there for him when he needed me. Harry was there for me when I let him be.

" if you hadn't helped me after Carter..." I whispered.

" I'm not here to drag out our past, but I am here to talk about our future. I want you. I want you to want to be with me. I want you to be in love with me again.. Because I'm still in love with you. I've never stopped loving you. No matter what happened, you were always on my mind. You were the one I wanted next to me whenever something good happened in my life. When I first held my son, I wanted you there. When I performed at the Grammy's, I wanted you by my side. I will never stop loving you. It's always been you, Cailin" Harry confessed.

I wanted to break down. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I couldn't speak either.

These were the words I had waited to come from Harry for so many years, yet hearing it all now felt a little too late. That time had passed. No matter how much love I felt for him, I didn't feel like we could ever go back or even forwards for that matter. If I was still that nineteen year old girl, I would have probably jumped in his arms and taken him back into my life.

But I wasn't.

It didn't matter that I was still in love with Harry.

I had built a life for myself, without him. I was raising Roy, my daughter. Nathan was the man in my life now. I couldn't leave all that behind for a past love.

As soon as I got the courage to tell Harry to stop everything, I heard footsteps coming from behind me. I turned my head around, only to see Nathan walk towards Harry and I.

" is that the pizza, babe?" he asked as he scratched the back of his head.

I looked back at Harry, praying that he wouldn't say anything stupid. This was the moment that I was dreading. I had never even talked about Nathan to Harry. He had no idea that I had moved on.

" um.. no.." I said.

Looking at him now, I saw him start to realize what Nathan was to me. I didn't know what was going through his head but it looked something between hopeless and anger.

" Nathan, this is Harry, an old friend of mine" I said hoping the the awkward silence would diminish.

Nathan was one of the nicest guy I had ever met, so of course Nathan stuck his hand out with a smile plastered on his face. Harry cautiously shook his hand back

" it's always nice meeting Cailin's old friends. I'm Nathan" he said.

As I looked over at Harry, I realized that this was my opportunity lay it all out on the table, so he would know that it was truly over between us.

" my fiance" I announced.

Immediately I saw a change in his face as he looked down at my ring. I could tell that he was trying his best to not show his emotions, but I knew him too well.

" congratulations" Harry said before turning around and walking away from us.

As I watched him go, I couldn't help but feel a sort of deja vu. It felt so similar to when I had chosen Carter over Harry. 

Why did I feel so guilty?

~

From the GIF above, most of you have guessed the Dylan O'brien will be the face of Nathan!

I think that he's perfect for it, what do you guys think?