This Wasn't The Plan
It had been a few days after getting the news. Jessica had three days left before all of her test which was making her so anxious. But in secret Sam would be so excited and talk about it all the time. Jessica went along with it... but she was still having mixed emotions. She tried to make herself happy, but with all of these risks that her body can make happen, she didn't have much joy. for Sam, she kept a smile on her face.
It was two weeks before Sean would be home for thanksgiving.... Jessica would be twelve weeks pregnant. Just the thought of telling her children she was pregnant scared her too. All of her attention went to her three kids. The thought was scary. Having to share her attention to another, a baby. After everything with Olivia she wasn't ready.
Jessica was afraid to express her feelings. She knew it would hurt Sam, but there is nothing she can do. She needed someone to vent to. Someone who would understand.
It was the weekend so everyone was home. Everyone got up late, especially Logan.
"I can't believe Logan is still sleeping! It's almost eleven!" Jessica says as her, Sam, and Olivia sit in the living room with their coffee and muffins.
"That kid spends all week at school playing and learning!" Sam chuckles
"What a hard life he has." Olivia grins
"Let me go check on my bubby." Jessica says standing up
She goes upstairs and walks into Logan's room. She was shocked to see that he was already up, playing with his toys.
"Good morning little stinker! Why haven't you come down for breakfast?" She asks as she sits down with him.
"I wanted to be alone."
"Logan? Alone! No way...." Jessica says
"Yeah mommy." He pouts
Jessica puts her hand under Logan's chin and picks up his head lightly. She looks into his sad eyes and her heart breaks.
"Is my little boy sad?"
Logan slowly nods.
"Oh sweetie! Come sit with mommy and tell me what's wrong!" He says opening her arms
Logan stands up and sits in Jessica's lap. She wraps her arms around her and begins to lightly rock him.
"Mean girls!" He exclaims
"At school? Who's being mean?"
"I told Ava that I was adopted and she made fun of me! She said you're not my mommy!" He cries
"Logan when did this happen?"
"On the bus."
"Baby you should have come to me sooner. I am your mommy! And you're my little baby! Just like daddy is your daddy and you're his boy!" She says softly
"But you're not my real mommy."
"Well, your mother is your birth mom. And she loved you so much! When she went to heaven she picked me as your mommy. No one can replace her.."
"No one can replace you!"
"Oh logan! I love you! You're my son. You are apart of our family and that will never change. We aren't going anywhere."
"So Ava was wrong?"
"Yes! Ava was very wrong."
Logan gives Jessica a tight hug.
"Next time she says something mommy will handle it. You just tell me."
"Okay!"
"Do you still need alone time?"
"Can I have breakfast in my room?"
"Oh course!"
He smiles then begins to play.
"Logan, I love you." She says
"I love you too."
//-//
Sunday-
Jessica hadn't seen her mom and sisters for a while. Saturday was a busy family day. Sam took Logan and Olivia to tractor auction a few hours away. So Dorthy made lunch for all of her daughters and they all met at Dorthy's.
"Mom this grilled cheese reminds me of my elementary school days." Jane says
"You'd be so busy and tired after work that you'd make up grilled cheese then you later taught us." Ann says
"I should be damaged from all of the cheese and bread, but I love it to this day." Jessica chuckles
"Jess, I feel like you've fell of the face of the earth, honey. Are you okay?" Dorthy says
It was noticeable that Jessica was MIA and a little down.
"Me? Umm yeah. I'm fine mom. You know, mentally I'm still recovering. Everything with Olivia was traumatic. It kinda broke our family apart. But now that things are better I'm fine now..."
"Jessica. There is more. I know you inside and out baby girl." Dorthy says
"Jessica, you can tell us anything.
Jessica puts her hands over her face and breaks down into tears.
"Jess?"
".... I.... I'm."
"You're what!" Jane says nervously
"No Jessica.... you can't be." Ann says
"I am." She cries
"You're pregnant?" Dorthy gasps
"I'm pregnant."
Dorthy and Jessica's sisters were the only ones that truly knew what happened when Olivia was born.
"Jessica, they said you can't get pregnant again. You were suppose to get the surgery to..."
"I never did. It just happened mom. Now I'm so scared! Sam is so excited. He knows there are risks! But I don't want this baby! And I'm so scared! I've been putting on a smile, trying to be happy. Really, happy, but scared! Mom I can't go through harming a baby!" Jessica cries
"There has to be another option." Ann says
"There isn't." Jane says
"I'm going to have this baby. I love this baby. But..."
"This wasn't the plan." Dorthy says
"No."
"You need to tell Sam how you feel. Don't put on a face for him."
"Oh he knows. When I found out I was a wreck."
"How long have you known?" Jane says taking Jessica's hand
"Less than a week. I'm ten weeks. I knew something was wrong with me. I said just depression! But do you remember how moody I was with Sean and Liv!"
"Yeah.... you're a bitch when you're pregnant." Jane says
"I know it's scary, but look at the bright side of this.... babies, you love them! You are going to have a cute little baby. Set aside all of your worries and just enjoy it. Don't stress the baby out."
"This is scary. I'm in my forties!"
"So!" Ann says
"Ann, you have to think about the risks. This can be dangerous for Jessica and the baby! Look how scared she is." Dorthy says
"Seriously Ann." Jane says
"We are all making her more scared."
"Ann's right. I just need to do this. Be strong and do it."
"What if something happens to the baby?" Jane says
Jessica takes a big breath and releases. "We can get through anything. I think I just needed to tell. Get my stresses off. So that someone can remind me that I'll be okay. This is fine. There are people that can't even get pregnant. I'm lucky, having a third baby. I need to embrace it and suck it up! Everything will be fine."
As Jessica tried to convince herself so she could be relaxed and not worried, her mother and sister stood in fright.
//-//
Seventeen years ago-
"Please help me! What's going on!" Jessica screams as all of the doctors and nurses go to her baby girl. She was on her bed alone, bleeding and bleeding. Something wasn't right. She knew birth was painful, but with Sean this intense pain didn't happen. She was scared.
"Help me!" She gasps
Danny turns around and sees his wife gushing out blood, pale as ever, about to slip.
"Baby, what's going on?" He says
She takes his hand and gasps for air. "Somethings wrong."
Danny went into panic mode.
"Someone help her! Someone help my wife! Somethings wrong."
//-//
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