I am so sorry for not updating in a few weeks. I finished this chapter about a week and a half ago, but couldn't find time to post it. These past two weeks have been a lot busier than expected, and the next 3 or 4 will be too. I have to prepare for the biggest tournament of the country in the next few weeks, and I also got a job, so I apologize in advance incase I don't update. Anyway, here is the next chapter...its really long so I hope it will make up for my absence.

I wake up the next morning in pain. When I sit up, I notice why: Peeta and I sleep on the ground of the cabin. I stretch before waking Peeta, then we gather our things and walk home.

When we get back to the Victors Village, Peeta follows me home, never letting go of my hand. After entering my house, we go upstairs and enter my room. Before he even has a chance to react, I place my hands on his face and pull it towards mine. I crash my lips onto his, but by now Peeta has caught on and has his hands placed on my hips. I pull away breathless and hug him.

"I love you," I mumble into his shirt. I pull away and see a boyish grin stretching from ear to ear on his face.

"I love you, too," he responds, connecting our lips once again. He pulls away and I extract myself from his grasp.

"I'm going to go shower," I state while walking into my closet to grab clothes. Peeta nods and kisses me one last time before letting me walk into the bathroom. I close the door behind me and begin to undress, not bothering to look in the mirror at my dangerously thin body. I step into the shower and let my body relax under the warm water. I wash my hair and body, then step out of the shower. I dry off and get dressed, walking out to see Peeta out cold on my bed. I laugh as I walk over to him and kiss his forehead before going downstairs. I make myself tea since I'm not a big coffee fan, especially after what happened when I had coffee last time.

Once the tea is done, I head to my backyard and sit on lawn while sipping the steaming beverage. I watch the sun shine on the flowers and grass and think of Peeta and his paintings. His birthday is soon, so I plan on getting him art supplies. After I've finished my tea, I stand up and walk inside. I am instantly hit with the aroma of something delicious. I enter the kitchen to see Peeta dicing an onion and placing it into a pot on the stove.

"Whatcha making?" I inquire. He jumps, but recovers and replies, "Soup."

"Smells good."

"Not as good as you," he whispers, but I catch it and giggle.

"Oh, really?" I ask while walking up to him. His face turns bright red making me laugh harder.

"Oh, shush." I giggle again and think, Giggling? Really?

I've never been one to laugh much, let alone giggle.

"Katniss?" Peeta questions, snapping his fingers in front of my face.

"Huh?"

"What were you thinking about?" He smirks.

"How I never giggle."

"Really? You always giggle around me," Peeta states.

"Oh, shut up," I mumble trying to keep my blush hidden. Peeta laughs again and kisses my cheek before returning to the food. Suddenly, a strange feeling came over me. I went upstairs to see where Cinna is at, since I haven't seen him around. I knock, but he doesn't  answer, so I open the door and find the room empty except for the furniture. I become frantic, tearing the room apart looking for any trace of Cinna. After finding nothing, I fall to the floor in defeat and cry, but a flash of color under the bed catches my attention. I reach for it and enclose my hand around a thin envelope.

I pull it out from under the bed and examine it. It's a white envelope with a piece of  cloth pinned to it and my name on the front written in Cinna's handwriting. I carefully turn the envelope over and open it. I take out the letter and read it. Once I've finished the note, I compose myself and walk downstairs. Peeta is just finishing lunch and setting the table when I enter the kitchen, so I sit down and hope that Peeta doesn't sense my sadness. However, as soon as he sits down and we begin to eat, he detects that something is wrong.

"Hey, what's the matter?" He asks softly, reaching across the table and grabbing my hand that's resting on the smooth wood.

"Nothing," I sigh. I know Peeta doesn't believe me, but I'm thankful that he drops the subject. We eat in silence until he brings up the topic of Cinna.

"Do you know what happened to Cinna? He just...disappeared," Peeta says. I shake my head unable to form words. By now, both of us have finished our soup, so I thank him for the food, tell him it was delicious and run upstairs to my bedroom. When I reach my door I throw it open and I walk to my window, opening that as well. I climb out onto my roof and sit there, staring off into the distance.

My tangled hair is blown back from my face by the continuous breeze as I watch everyone trying to put their lives back together. I begin to think about how this wouldn't be happening if I would have died in the first games, maybe even the second. How I would have saved so many people's lives by just eating those berries.

Tears stream down my face and I pull my knees up to my chest in an attempt to keep warm as well as an attempt to disappear, but neither work. I start to shiver, and the voices inside my head begin to speak.

I hear Prim and Rue, both blaming me for their deaths. Telling me that I should be in their places, that I caused their fall. Then Finnick joins, saying that if he didn't have to protect me he would still be alive and be living with Annie and his son. More and more voices keep joining until all I hear is a roaring of voices within my head, telling me that I should not be alive, and I agree completely with these voices.

If I were to die now, no one would care. Haymitch would still be a drunkard, and Peeta would eventually move on, probably fall in love with Delly. I stand up, the sea of voices still inside my head and I'm about to jump when I see the most beautiful sight. A sunset right behind my forest. I watch as the colors of the sky blend together to create Peeta's favorite color. Sobs start to take over my body and I'm about to jump to my death, watching the most beautiful thing ever, when a strong hand reaches out and grabs onto my wrist.

I try to pull away, but the grip is too strong. I turn to see a distressed Peeta, tears threatening to spill from his crystal clear eyes.

"Please, don't," he chokes out, obviously hurt. My sobs become more powerful as I drop to my knees and let Peeta pull me back inside the house.

"Oh my god," Peeta mumbles continuously into my hair. I begin to shake as reality sets in: I almost killed myself.

"Shh, Katniss, it's okay. You're okay, it's okay," he whispers in my ear while calmly stroking my hair. A few minutes later my sobs stop, but my tears continue. I pull away from Peeta's shoulder just enough to see his face. Its red and puffy, and I instantly feel horrible.

"I'm s-so sorry," I hiccup, searching his gaze for any signs of anger.

"It's okay," he replies, but I snap.

"No it's not! Its not okay!"

"Katniss, calm-"

"How could you say it's okay? I almost killed myself!"

I shout. Peeta's eyes begin to fill with tears again while he looks at me with a wounded gaze.

"I'm sorry, Peeta," I whisper as I extract myself from his grasp and leave the room.

"No," I hear Peeta shout behind me. About a minute later I feel his strong arms wrap around my waist, stopping me from walking down the stairs.

"Please, don't leave," he whispers into my neck. I turn around and hug him, wrapping my arms around his neck, burying my face into his shirt. I inhale deeply in an attempt to calm myself, but all I smell is Peeta, making me realize that if I would have jumped, I would have never smelled his scent again, I would have never seen his eyes again, seen how his hair is always in his face, or his smile. The worst is I wouldn't have been able to grow old with him.

Thinking of all this makes me begin to cry, and I end up soaking Peeta's shirt in my salty tears while he comforts me like he always does. I begin to get sleepy, so Peeta picks me up and carries me to my bed. I lay down and almost fall asleep, but I make Peeta promise to stay. As sleep slowly overcomes my mind, I hear Peeta reply to my question, "Always."

Tell me what you think! Ilyasm!
Until next time, May The Odds Be Ever In Your Favor...

~KatnissOdairMellark