The water greeted me like an old friend as it kissed the soles of my feet. My toes buried in the sand with each step, the golden grains surrounding me as if showing their support.

Maisie's pinkie was intertwined with mine as our hands swung between us. On our walk to the jetty, she'd picked up a large budding hibiscus from someone's front yard and buried it behind her ear among the silvery strands of her blonde hair.

"I think I should have woken up to it a lot sooner," I said, breaking the comfortable silence that had been developing between us. "That I like Alastair.'

Maisie stopped walking, her finger tightening around mine. "You do like him?"

I nodded, although like seemed far too trivial to describe what I felt when I thought about him. "I think I have for a while now."

"Oh, Valerie," Maisie sighed. She dropped my finger and instead wound her arm around my waist, pulling me into a hug. "I'm sorry."

I was glad she was hiding her excitement. Excitement was the opposite of what I felt for tonight. No, I felt a hollow sadness, and a conflicting hope. I was still warring with myself internally as to whether I should tell him. I knew if I did, it would make it so much harder for him to leave.

If I didn't tell him, I'm not sure if I'd be able to cope. Not after the heaviness this revelation had lifted from me.

The weight of the object nestled in the large pocket of my sundress reminded me that I'd have to at least catch him alone once. I couldn't give him the snowglobe in front of everyone, not when it was supposed to represent something so personal between us.

"It sucks that it's happening now," Maisie said. "But I know you don't regret meeting him, do you?"

"Of course not," I said, a little uneased by the idea.

"Just keep remembering that. Remember that he came into your life for a reason."

I hesitated, before probing a topic I knew she'd prefer to avoid. "What about you, are you going to be thinking that when you see Dan tonight?"

Maisie gave me a dark look and I poked my tongue out at her, glad that we'd reached a point where she was able to be semi-comfortable talking about him.

"I think it will be okay. Provided I'm occupied by you girls, and he just sticks with his guys, I think we can be civil. I mean, I haven't seen him in a while so it will be a shock, but nothing I can't handle. Besides, I'm starting to think this could be a blessing. There's probably plenty of guys at university, and I'm sure I could find my soulmate amongst them somewhere."

I chuckled at her rosy grin. "I'm sure. Who wouldn't fall head over heels for you with that smile?"

"Absolutely nobody."

We could see our group well from our nearing position, mingling beside the jetty, some of them hauling large sticks of driftwood into the freshly dug fire pile. I noticed sleek brown hair that was shining in the sun, and realised I was yet to confront Lottie of her betrayal. Maybe it wasn't worth it anymore. In fact, it definitely wasn't, but it still felt bugged me.

As we approached, an awkwardness settled over the group. Mallory pulled her bottle to her lips where she sat with her legs crossed on a tree stump besides Ingrid. Dan, on the other side of the group, ran a hand through his hair, which was growing out onto his forehead.

Logan, of all people, was the one to end the awkwardness. "Not like you two to run late. Want a beer?"

My breath was still caught at the sight of Alastair, besides his sister as he cracked open a bottle. And for a moment, I was sure my heart was being splintered into countless pieces. This was the last time I would see him, for a very long time, or possibly ever again. I reminded myself that we were from different worlds, and although we shared this summer, it was likely the last time our lives would overlap.

Maisie squeezed my hand before taking Logan up on the beer offer. I gave him a wry smile and picked up a cider from the esky instead.

Somehow, our relationship was slowly falling back into place, and I was even starting to come to terms with the fact that maybe he wasn't the devil-incarnate. It was strange to know the same lips that pulled into a smart-ass smile had kissed mine so warmly, and it even borderlined on confusing. But it didn't awaken the deep stirring that had been churning through my chest since I'd realised who I'd really been falling for.

The afternoon was golden, the sun refusing to cease spreading its warmth as it lowered closer and closer towards the horizon. The waves crested in bubbles of silver and the cawing of the gulls was the sound of farewells. With Lottie and Alastair signalling the first of us to leave, this would be the last proper gathering.

Zoe stepped towards me and enveloped me in a hug. "I can't believe you're going to the other side of the country!"

"Me either," I admitted, closing my eyes momentarily to take in her floral perfume. It was little things I didn't always appreciate that I was beginning to realise I'd miss the most.

"You have to make Sandy Cove proud," she said.

"So do you! Perth is a pretty big deal, you know," I reminded her.

"Yeah but that's where everyone's going. You're taking a step into the unknown."

Her words made me shudder a little. I mean, like going there wasn't daunting enough.

Zoe moved on to greet Maisie, just as I felt a hand on my shoulder. I spun around to surprisingly see Lottie facing me, a wry smile on her glossed lips. "Hey."

My stomach did a little flip of anxiety. I really wasn't one for confrontation at all, but at the same time, I didn't exactly want to act like her best friend either. "Hi, Lottie."

Lottie's smile weakened a little as she leaned down to the esky beside me to fish out a beer. Over the past three months, she'd developed a taste for the stuff. "My brother seems to think I owe you an apology. I guess I do."

This surprised me a little, I mean, I didn't expect it to come so easily. "Why did you do it?"

"You know why," she snorted, straightening up. "I guess I'm just not very good at keeping information. And, it was a pretty hard piece of information to keep. This little town was getting boring, and if I stirred things up a little then Alastair would have a chance to stop pining for you for a second. And, well, I was kind of interested to see Logan's reaction."

I narrowed my eyes. We really were entertainment to her all along, like a soap opera. "Do you do that to your friends at home?"

She let out a little laugh. "I guess things are just different here. Nobody would be surprised if that happened at home. Mind you, we don't exactly make deals like that."

My cheeks flamed, and even though she was only a year older I suddenly felt like a tiny child. But, she eased my embarrassment a little by putting a hand on my arm.

"But seriously, I didn't mean any personal harm. It's just... the way he talks about you. He brings you up at least once every ten minutes I swear, and he never gets like that with girls at home. Think of me as just being your wing woman."

I couldn't help but scoff, but her words made me slightly dizzy. Did he really talk about me that much?

When I didn't answer, Lottie pursed her lips and put a hand on her hip. "You like him don't you?"

"Hmm?" I said, acting distracted in a bid to stall an answer. There was no way I was telling his twin sister, not when I knew she was bound to meddle further.

Instead of responding, she gave me a glittering smile and patted me on the shoulder before grabbing another few beers and walking towards the other guys. I didn't know whether I found her terrifying or if I was in awe of her. She was too confident for her own good.

Most of the seats were taken, and I couldn't help but avert my gaze from where I knew he was sitting. It was his last day, and I felt like looking at him now would make me break in two. How are people supposed to say goodbye, when there is so much unsaid between them?

I took the vacant seat beside Dan. He was holding a drink and staring into the fire pit, which was composed of a pile of unlit logs and tree stumps.

"So Sydney, eh?"

"How does everyone know that?" I asked.

"Small town, I guess," he chuckled.

"What about you?" I asked.

"Calling the small town home for another year."

I nodded, feeling sympathetic for him, despite his role in my best friend's undoing. I knew his parents were strict, and I couldn't bear the thought of repeating another year of high school myself. "I hope things go a little better for you, at least."

"Me too. But really, I had it coming for me this summer. I just wish I could redo things."

"You wish you could still be with Maisie?" I asked.

He shook his head, the unkempt ginger locks bouncing against his face, where he reached to shove them out of the way. "I think we both knew we weren't going to make it through to uni."

I nodded silently. Sometimes things just weren't meant to work out, like Maisie and Dan and my Mum and my Dad. But I was beginning to realise that it didn't change anything. When you fall in love, you aren't supposed to think of the chances of things not working out and going terribly. No, you love someone regardless of the risk. It's not something you should try and contain, or try and put into words or rules. No, it's something that should be natural, and should be allowed to run its course.

I mean, we're human. And part of being human is falling in love, and part of it is heartbreak. And now I was beginning to understand that living without either could never be truly fulfilling.

How could it be, if you never allowed yourself to feel your heart hammer in your chest so passionately that it made your whole body warm? If you never let yourself figure out the little things about someone else, or discover that there exists someone who could make you feel so completely whole?

"Hey, Valerie."

Just like that first evening on the beach, when he'd sought out my attention despite sensing my withdrawal, he appeared at my side.

"Alastair." It came out more as a sigh of relief than a greeting.

I can't let him know now. Not when it's already too late for us.

"Did Lottie speak to you?" he asked, taking the seat that I hadn't noticed Dan had vacated to help Noah with what looked like chugging a bottle of whiskey.

I nodded. "She did. Apparently you sent her to apologise."

Even if I'd known it from the second he'd arrived, there would never have been enough time for us.

"Well, did she?"

"I think she intended to. I'm not quite sure the words left her mouth though."

Alastair chuckled, raising goosebumps to my legs. "I think that's the best you'll get from her. She has too much of our mum in her."

I gave him a half smile, but I still couldn't bring myself to meet his gaze. It was as if looking him in the eye would expose my entire soul to him, and he'd be able to figure out everything.

It didn't take long for Alastair to realise something was up. I think I hid things pretty well until then, but with his departure looming above our heads I couldn't hide my grief. I felt so stupid. How could I have let myself become invested in someone who I knew was only temporary in my life?

But then I remembered his laugh, the way he waltzed into the ice-cream shop and expected me to whip up his favourite ice-cream, the way he seemed to know me, and exactly what to say, and the way he made me feel as if the world was a million miles away when he hugged me to say goodbye each evening.

I wasn't stupid. I was just falling stupidly in love with him.

It was dark, and I had tried to socialise with everyone in our small circle. But when I saw Maisie, with her hand propped at her chin and her eyes wide and vacant, I knew something was wrong.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked. I'd made an effort to inject my speech with an extra dose of bubbly excitement, to try and hide my grief.

Maisie sighed. "Nothing really, it's just really hard seeing him, and not talking."

I joined her position on the sand, leaning my elbows on my knees. "This will at least make it easier, seeing him one last time before you leave."

"It will, but it's just so... unnatural. And I know he cheated, and I can't forgive him, but it just... it hurts so bad that things are like this."

I reached out to grasp her hand. "Isn't that how breakups go? You're meant to hurt Maiz. It's not wrong to feel that way."

She gave me a small smile. "I think I might go home. I'm just tired."

I nodded, understanding her. It was still quite early, but it must be exhausting for her to be so close to Dan and Mallory. "Are we still on for tomorrow?"

"Breakfast at your place? Definitely."

"Great." She straightened up, and I joined her, dusting the sand from the back of my legs. "Valerie?"

"Yeah?"

"Just tell him. If you don't, you'll regret it all year."

I stood frozen, knowing her words were true. "I just think that maybe taking that regret with me will be better than knowing we came so close to what we never could have had."

She gave a gentle smile. "Just do what's best for your heart for once, your mind can deal with it later."

I chuckled at the advice that was just so Maisie. I pulled her in for a hug before she made her way to say goodbye to Noah and Logan.

My drink was almost empty and I gulped the rest. I wasn't drunk, I'd only had two drinks since getting here, but my senses were amplified for another reason all together. I knew I'd regret it. I knew it. But maybe it was my turn to be selfish.

He was sitting on a lone deckchair, flipping through the music on the iPod connected to the speakers.

"Can we go for a walk?"

Alastair looked up at me, a small smile creeping onto his lips. "If you insist."

"I don't insist - it's just, if you want to go for a walk you could come with me..." I felt flustered, and my confidence was faltering very quickly.

"Valerie, I'd love to come on a walk with you. Is that better?"

I nodded, plastering my lips shut before I said anything stupid. As we began walking away from the light of the fire, I suddenly replayed the scene from the beach, when he'd said he didn't want to kiss me because it was too late. Would he be mad if I told him now? Of course he would, it would be completely unfair of me to tell him.

With each step we printed into the sand, I felt more and more like I was wasting the precious time we had left between us. So, naturally, I blurted something to fill the space between us. "Have you finished packing?"

"Almost," he said. And I felt even worse, because soon I imagined his house would be packed up, and he'd be gone along with his nerdy DVD collection and nice smelling pillows. "It's going to be a long flight home."

"I couldn't imagine being on a plane for so long."

"It's easy if you just sleep it out."

My breathing was hitched when I spared a glance his way. His face was tense, and I realised maybe he was warring with his inner thoughts just as much as I was.

"You can take a surf board if you want. I know Dad probably won't use his again."

He laughed at that. "I don't think any of the beaches in my area compare."

"You'll have to come back and visit."

"I will. I hope you know that, Val. I'll be back."

His words made my heart skitter, and I found myself smiling a little. "I'd like that."

"Want to walk up along the jetty?"

I nodded, and we looped around up to the esplanade, and began walking along the empty jetty. We could hear the chatter of people below us as we passed over our group, and I was glad we were invisible to them in the dark. It was just us, me and Alastair. Alastair and me.

We found a comfortable silence as we walked up the darkened jetty, the murky water below us barely visible with the cloud covering the moon. Every now and then we'd pass a light mounted on the damp wood pillars and I'd catch a glimpse of his face.

"Can I ask you something?" Alastair asked as we approached the edge.

I knew questions could be dangerous territory, but it didn't stop me from nodding.

"Do you still feel the same, about love?"

I bit my lip and stared out to the almost invisible horizon. I shook my head, afraid words would fail me.

"Was it me or Logan who changed that?"

My eyes met his, and even in the dark they still captured me, like a deer in headlights, as if I'd been petrified in stone. Suddenly, I knew that he knew how I felt. He wouldn't ask that question if he truly believed I didn't have feelings for him. Everything became eerily slow, and my mind began to untangle until my thoughts found perfect clarity.

One step forward was all it took for me to be close enough, so close that leaning up brought our lips together in one motion.

I kissed him like we were meeting for the first time. I kissed him like we were meeting for the last. I kissed him like I was telling him my deepest secret, and I kissed him as if he was the only person that mattered, because in that moment it was true.

I couldn't comprehend it as a mistake, and I knew he couldn't either when his hands found the small of my back, drawing me to him with a desperation I'd never seen in him before. His lips were warm and welcoming and I found my fingers tracing the planes of his jaw, caressing his hair before resting on his shoulders.

Why hadn't I felt this before? Or, more like why hadn't I acknowledged it? Surely, I should have known how easy it would be to just love someone. To just rip apart the walls before they've began construction, and just be content with caring for someone.

When our lips moved apart, only so much that our foreheads were still touching, I felt as if the Earth had rotated a thousand times since I'd last exhaled. It had rotated a thousand times, and I'd changed from the cynical girl I'd been three months ago. I'd learnt, and I'd experienced, and I'd realised that pain was never unjustified. Pain was human, and we don't ignore it. No, we know it's there, we just decide it's worth it, loving someone.

"I've been waiting all bloody summer for that kiss," Alastair murmured into the small space between us.

I tried to fight the pressure building behind my eyes, because even though I felt so emotional, there was no way I was going to ruin the moment. "Me too."

He kissed me again, a thousand times.

By the time he took my hand in his my knees were weak and my heart was soaring. I'd held his hand before, but now it took on a different meaning. It was almost as if we were grasping to each other, whispering silent wishes on the ocean's breeze that we could just stay like this forever.

"I feel like we're just meeting for the first time, not saying goodbye," I said, when I was sure the lump in my throat wouldn't betray me.

Alastair gave me a solemn smile as we looped back towards the small group lingering on the sand. Our hands separated, not because we were ashamed or embarrassed, but because he was saying goodbye to them, and the last thing we needed was our moment to be mocked.

I hung in the shadows of the jetty, watching him as he slapped the hands of the guys and hugged the girls. Lottie, who'd been laughing about something with Zoe straightened up, and although I could not hear them I knew Alastair was telling her he was leaving early, and that she should stay longer with her friends

I waved a hand of goodbye to them, though I knew I'd probably see them all again before I left, and undoubtedly in the winter break.

Alastair and I walked along the sand, feeling as if nothing needed to be said, but at the same time there was too much to be expressed in words. His hand held mine again, his thumb tracing patterns on my skin.

I hated myself for taking so long to work out my feelings, and for throwing this on him now when he had a flight he had to leave for in less than six hours.

"I'm sorry it took me this long," I managed to say. "It's not fair on you to have been so patient all summer, for me to just play around with your feelings for so long and then do this now."

"Valerie, you haven't played with my feelings. Well, not intentionally at least." He nudged my arm with his elbow. "And honestly, I'd go through it all again if it meant we just had one night."

"I just hate that it took you leaving for me to act on it."

"When did you realise?" he asked after a few moments.

"At the beach. When we almost kissed. But I think it happened long before that. I just didn't want to acknowledge it, or let myself feel it," I murmured into the darkness before us. I was already beginning to miss the taste of his lips on mine.

More silence passed until we reached the stairs that would take us up to the street near our houses. He paused, taking a few steps closer to the water instead. The foamy waves lapped against the sand, the only part of the water visible in the night.

"Can you promise me that you'll call, and when you visit the beach you'll just tell me about it as if I'm there beside you?"

I nodded briskly. "Of course."

"And when I'm having dinner with my family, I can send you sneaky messages beneath the table?"

I laughed, but it didn't quite match my mind as I thought of Alastair by himself, on a high backed chair with expensive wine by his hand, alone. As my chest heaved with the laugh, I felt the knock of my heavy pocket against my thigh, and I was reminded of the gift I had for him.

"I bought you something," I said, a little sheepishly as his face turned to mine in the moonlight. My eyes searched every detail, the way his hair was tousled off of his forehead and his eyebrows were furrowed in a way that made his eyes attentive and warm.

"Really?" his lips lifted in a smile, and I wondered how many smiles I had left.

"Yeah. A going away gift." I reached into my pocket and pulled it out, it was wrapped in crepe paper in an effort to protect it from being knocked. "It's not anything big, but... I hope you like it."

Alastair took it, weighing it between his hands before untying the string I'd knotted around it. When the snowglobe fell into his fingers his expression changed into one caught between pain and affection.

"Even when it's cold and snowing, or whatever it's like in London, you can shake it up and pretend we're still surfing, out there-" I waved my hands out towards the water. "In a shower of glitter."

He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards him, clutching me close and spinning me slightly like I was a child. I laughed breathlessly, my heart accelerating at the close contact.

"I'm going to miss you, Valerie."

"I'm going to miss you too, Alastair."

We kissed a thousand times more, before we said goodbye. Only we didn't say the word itself, for fear it would mean the end.

In the morning, I woke to the sound of a magpie on my window ledge, and I looked at the time. He would be flying somewhere over Africa by now. He really was gone. I found myself questioning whether he was really real at all this summer, and then I remembered his kisses and decided there was no way he couldn't have been.

My heart was aching at the idea of him being gone, but at the same time, it was flying in ecstasy because it had happened. Because he taught me something that I wasn't sure I'd have been able to discover on my own. And that was to have an open mind, to let people in, and most importantly to love.

I wasn't sure if I'd stop loving him. Maybe it would carry on forever, or just for a really long time. But for now, it felt infinite. And I knew it wouldn't be easy missing him, but it would be so much harder if I hadn't told him how I felt.

And in a number of days, I'd be moving to the other side of the country, with Alastair only in my memory for now, and my phone. We knew it wouldn't be easy to keep in contact, with the time difference and our busy schedules, but we'd do our best. He wasn't getting rid of me that easily. And we'd sworn that maybe sometime we'd meet again, whether he travelled back to Sandy Cove or I saved enough to meet him in London. But we'd see each other again, that was for sure.

For now, I'd treat university as a fresh start. Maybe Alastair would meet someone new, or maybe I would, and maybe that's how things will go. Time changes feelings, and so does absence.

I vacated my bed, grabbing my adventure novel and towel and slipping shoes onto my feet, ready to reclaim my reading spot. As I picked up the book, I noticed a few pieces of paper fall to the ground, and bent down to retrieve them.

They were three photographs of me and Alastair. We hadn't taken many, but the ones we had he'd printed and left inside the cover of my book. I knew it was him, for the loopy scrawl covering the back of each one.

For the sun soaked days in the ocean

For the ice-cream cones by the shore

For the summer that belongs to us

I smiled, the photographs tugging at my heart wistfully. No, it wasn't another summer love story. It was a summer where I met someone that showed me more about myself than I knew was there. It was a summer of learning, and experiencing, and figuring out who I was.

And I wasn't going to close my heart to love because I was afraid of it.

"Thank you," I said to the Alastair in one of the photos, frozen in time with a smile beneath a snorkel mask.

And with that, I set the photographs down carefully before stepping out into the dying summer sun, ready to let it scorch my skin one last time.

The End

--

Final Author's Note

Thank you so much for reading, voting and commenting! I'm so happy-sad to finish this book, it's been such a hug part of my summer, and a huge part of my writing journey. I've learnt so much from it, and it's allowed me to bleed my thoughts into text.

So, I may have loved a certain character enough to write a spin off as a novella right here on Wattpad. Go and check out Not Another One Night Stand for Logan's story. **note this story is temporarily unavailable until further notice due to insufficient chapters and update time**

A HUGE thank you again! I'd particularly like to thank Wimbug for being a huge supporter and supplying feedback each time I posted a new chapter, providing much needed critique, encouragement and taking the place of the little devil on my shoulder advocating Logan and Valerie ;) Thank you for putting so much time into reading and commenting.

Please let me know all of your final thoughts for the story, and never hesitate to share any opinions!

If you'd like to check out more of my work, jump over to my profile to check out what else I have in the works.

Thanks again for going on this journey with me,

Love Ann xx