For the first time in what felt like years, I ventured down the sandy wooden steps, the grains sticking to my feet and prompting me to remove my thongs, skipping across the hot surface to the cooler patches cast by the shadows of salt bushes.

He was out there. I could see them both, bobbing on the endless cycle of waves that were thrown towards this part of Sandy Cove. The sun always crept over the horizon to signal a new day, the moon never failed to creep across the night sky, and like clockwork, they were always out on the surf every morning.

I occupied my regular spot, taking time to spread out my towel and arrange myself so my book was propped up comfortably. Today it was not an adventure novel, it's one of Maisie's old books that she vowed I would love.

My presence must have signalled him from the shore because it didn't take long for Logan to exit the surf. I noticed his feet first. Tanned skin, white sand, smug smirk.

"Morning," he greeted.

"Good morning," I said. I knew for sure that there was no way I was letting him get away with his games from the night before this time. With a fresh mind and a little distance between us I was able to think a little more clearly. I cut straight to the chase. "Listen, Logan. If whatever we're starting here is going to go anywhere you can't play stupid games like last night. If you have a problem with something, say it."

"Woah," he raised his hands up in defence. "Chill out, Vally."

"Don't try and belittle this, Logan." I put my book down and tried to straighten up, in an effort to prevent him from looking down on me.

"I'm not, you're just overreacting."

"Great, you won't mind if I end this, whatever this is, then." I didn't exactly expect to go there, but his face tightened a little.

"You can't hold that over me as leverage you know, that's not how a relationship works."

"Who says we're in a relationship?"

"Seriously, Vally. Just chill out for a second. This isn't all about you and your security issues."

My cheeks flamed pink and I got to my feet. "Fine, if that's how you want to divert it then so be it. See you around, Logan."

"Well, now that things have already turned to shit anyway, I'll just say it then," he mocked. I was half turned away from him and he jumped back into my view. His chest was still dripping with water and his ankle still tethered to the board which lay just behind him. "I was pissed off because you went and had a meet-the-parents dinner with your freaking second boyfriend the other night."

I span on my feet, furious at his easy way of slandering me. "First of all, Alastair and I are friends. That's all we are. That means we hang out. Secondly, if that's what you think of me, then fine. Just fine. Who even told you that?"

"Friends. Right. See you around, Vally."

Ignoring my question, he bent down and picked up his board, looping it under his arm and walking away briskly, muttering something under his breath. I took a moment to rid the rage from my breathing before I left the beach. So much for my peaceful reading spot.

"Why are boys so frustrating?" I asked Daniel later that day. It was late afternoon and we were keeping the ice-shop open late for a children's event being held on the foreshore. The wind was cold, though, and nobody had ordered an ice-cream all evening.

"Huh?" he was out of it. Again. He seemed to be daydreaming for most of our shift so far. Maybe it was because he wasn't accepted into his course, or maybe it was something else.

"Boys. They're frustrating."

"Did you seriously just ask me a question about boys? What hast the world come to?"

"Shut up," I said. I nudged him with the handle of my dustpan which I was using to clean the floor.

"Which boy? Alastair or Logan?"

"Why does everyone keep thinking Alastair and I are a thing?" I sighed, a little irritated. It obviously made sense, I mean I spent a lot of time with him and he flirted with me non-stop in the beginning. But for Logan to think I was the kind of person to see multiple people at once? That sucked. I had brandished my soul to him by letting him in, and he just had to find ways to question his trust in me. Oh, and also flaunt it in front of our friends.

"Okay, not him then. Well, you already know I think Logan's a dick. You did too, once."

"Correction, still do." I smiled at him. He smiled back, but his eyes remained distant.

In the next hour we had one customer, who only wanted to buy a bottle of water and ask where the nearest toilets were. Daniel sighed and started untying his apron. "I know Susan asked to keep going until nine, but we're dead. It's probably costing her more to run the cooling system and pay our wages than it is to be closed."

I raised an eyebrow, but didn't object. He was right, everyone was too far away for the event and it was too cool for people to buy ice-cream. I helped him go through the close up procedure, putting away the displayed ice-cream and wiping down the surfaces.

"Got any plans for the evening?" I asked him as we went. The music had been turned off and it was oddly quiet.

"Kind of. I need to see someone."

I narrowed my eyes, Maisie was with her grandparents for dinner tonight. "Anyone important?"

"Probably. But I'll see you later, okay?"

"Alright."

He darted out of the door and my eyes followed him around the corner as he went out of view. It was unusual.

I walked home with a bit of a skip in my step, mostly because I was going home early and the night I'd had planned with Dad could be prolonged. He was disappointed when I told him about my shift because he'd planned dinner, but at least this way I could maybe still make it in time.

Except apparently, he already had plans.

The first sign was the car in the driveway. It was silver, and it definitely didn't belong to us. Maybe it was one of his friends who'd come around before he went out.

The second sign was a chiming laugh which echoed from the front door as I stood before it. It was high, definitely a woman's, and it was accompanied by Dad's rumbling chuckles.

He had a woman over.

A swirling tornado of feelings rushed through me. Relief. Betrayal. Happiness. Fear. My hand rested on the door knob a long moment. I felt too conflicted, though. I didn't want to interrupt, and I didn't want to face what could be lying behind the front door.

So I turned, and in my sky-blue uniform, I ran from the house.

I only took a few moments to decide which direction I was going. Maisie was out of town. I wasn't even going to consider Logan. But Alastair's was just up the road.

I debated what I'd do if his parents were home. Of course, I wouldn't want to face his parents. I just needed somewhere to be. The idea of returning home made me shudder, and scared. Dad had never dated since Mum, and even if I sometimes wished he would I wasn't ready to face that head on. Not unexpectedly at least. I would hope he'd guide me into the idea slowly.

I couldn't see any cars in the driveway. That didn't mean nobody was home though, as I was aware of their humongous garage. I stood there for a moment, catching my breath from the brisk jogging. I grabbed my phone, finally realising that calling him could be the best chance of getting in undetected.

He answered after two rings. "Valerie?"

"Hi," I breathed. "Are you home?"

"Not home, but at the beach house," he said with a hint of humour.

"Right, that's what I meant. Well, I'm out the front."

"Is everything okay?"

"Kind of. Can I come in?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Is, you know..."

"My parents? No. They went with Lottie to Beatrice's house tonight for some wine tasting thing, actually."

Then I saw his front door open and he was standing on the threshold with cotton pants on and a friendly smile. I hung up and walked sheepishly over as he invited me in.

"Have you eaten? I was just about to make something."

I shook my head. "Why aren't you with your family?"

"You see, I have a tremendous stomach bug. Bed bound. I can't go out with them," he said sarcastically.

"Well, it's a miracle," I laughed. "He stands."

"Shut up. What do you want to eat?"

He didn't press me on what was wrong. It was obvious he knew that there was something wrong for me to pop up at this time in my work uniform but he didn't question it. He made us baked beans on toast and we ate it on his dining table while we joked about his parents. We were cleaning up when he brought up last night.

"So did you find out what was up with your boyfriend last night?"

I rolled my eyes, mostly because his words were so similar to Logan's from this morning. "Yeah, he thought that we were dating. He was a complete dick about it."

"Was he a dick about it or was he just defensive? Because he might have just been worrying about his ego. You know, like usual."

"Yeah, I think it was that. But it was rude, and humiliating," I said.

"What are you going to do about it?"

I sighed. "I don't know, give him some space. I think I have other things to deal with at the moment."

"Like why you've shown up at this time in your work uniform?" he asked.

"Just like that."

"Want to talk about it?"

"Nope.

"Want to watch a movie or something?"

"Yeah."

Alastair led me upstairs, where I hadn't been before. There was a large lounge room, but he didn't linger, instead going down the hall and opening another door.

It must have been his room. It was huge, it had a queen sized bed with an expensive looking satin bedspread and a huge headboard. To the side was a leather couch and a large TV, and a shelf lined with books. A large window showed beautiful views of the ocean, only visible by a slither of light over the horizon.

"So we don't have many movies, but I brought a few from home. You might find them too nerdy, though."

This piqued my interest. I wandered over to his shelf, one row was indeed stocked with DVDs. He seemed to have a thing for movie collections. Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings and Starwars were all present, along with a handful of action movies. I ran my fingers along the covers.

"You know, I never watched episode four and five of Starwars. My dad had the other DVDs but never A New Hope or The Empire Strikes Back."

Instead of giving me an appalled look, he smirked instead. "I guess we have a movie picked then."

I sat down on his couch, pulling one of the brown cushions onto my lap. His room smelt nice, like a mixture of book pages and a clean cologne of some sort.

"Most of the televisions don't have a DVD player, and it was either here or the big lounge room downstairs. I figured here might be a bit better. You know, in case everyone comes home," he explained.

I nodded, glad he offered up some kind of reason for us being in his room alone. I was also glad he had a couch and we wouldn't have to awkwardly sit side by side on his bed.

The movie was enjoyable. Alastair seemed to know every word, and made things that weren't supposed to be funny hilarious with his accented commentary, particularly the lines spoken by C-3PO. I even found myself forgetting the issues surrounding me like my dad and Logan as we both attempted to imitate the American accents of the characters.

If Logan could see me now, watching movies with Alastair in his bedroom, I knew he'd be pissed. Unreasonably, this made me a little satisfied. But I also felt a little guilty, knowing it was only going to trigger the situation to cascade into a worse condition. It lingered in my mind the whole time.

By the end of the first movie it was dark and the sound of crickets was loud even from the second floor. My head was starting to grow cloudy and I yawned as Alastair pulled the DVD from its slot. It was late.

"Do you want to go home?" he asked.

I shook my head. "I don't know what I want to do."

"Well, can you go home?"

"I don't know," I sighed. Maybe just spitting it out would help me sort through my worries. "I think Dad is dating someone."

"Really? How come?"

"There was a woman laughing inside when I got home... Maybe I'm overreacting. But I just knew it, there's other little things that make sense now. He hasn't been home much. I even think he's been sleeping in his own bed some nights, which never happens. Oh, and he got me jewellery for Christmas." I toyed with the golden anchor at my neck. "It's a shock. That's it."

He nodded slowly. "That makes sense. I mean, obviously I don't really understand your situation, but if I were in it I think I'd freak. In fact, I'd probably slam some doors and run."

"Really?" I laughed. "I don't know. I don't feel angry, not really. I just feel... guilty."

"Guilty?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Because I should feel really happy for him, he's been lonely for the last ten years and he deserves to move on. But, at the same time I don't feel that happy. I feel weird and I don't know why."

"Feeling weird would make sense," he shrugged. "Because if it's been you and him for that long and now he's seeing someone, I'm sure there's a part of you that feels a bit replaced. And, you know, you're moving away in a few months, so you might be paranoid that he's turning a new leaf without you."

I frowned. For someone who didn't know much about all of this, he made a lot of sense. "How are you always able to see these things?"

"It's my magical ability," he wiggled his eyebrows. "Anyway, if you don't feel comfortable to go home yet you're welcome to the couch."

I pondered that for a moment. Stay or go. Hang out with Alastair or face whatever confrontation was lying at home. That made me worried, I needed time to grasp that idea, or let Dad tell me himself. But, if I stayed, that could really piss Logan off. 

"I might take you up on that."

Alastair grabbed a quilt from the linen press in the hallway and threw one of his pillows onto the couch. He also disappeared into one of the other rooms and returned sheepishly holding up a girl's shirt and shorts, which were undoubtedly Lottie's. I blushed and nodded, grateful that I didn't have to sleep in my work clothes, and luckily I was a little shorter than her so they fit a little baggy. I changed in his ensuite. We then put the next Starwars movie on and I sprawled out on my make-shift bed while he went into his. I texted Dad to tell him I was staying at Maisie's.

I think I fell asleep through the movie, because I woke up to Alastair opening the DVD case. "Sorry."

"It's alright," I whispered. He'd turned the light off and my covers were tucked a little closer than they were before. I smiled into the darkness.

"Goodnight," he said.

"Goodnight."

But after I heard the rustle of Alastair climbing back into bed my senses became acute, and the ringing of the crickets and the periodic gusts of wind combined with Alastair's steady breathing seemed loud enough to prevent me from drifting off again. His pillow by my face heightened the smell of the room, and as my eyes adjusted in the darkness I could make out the silhouette of his belongings. 

After what felt like hours of staring at the ceiling I whispered into the air, "Are you awake?"

It took a full minute for him to respond. "Yeah."

"Do you miss home?" I asked him.

"Yes and no." I waited for him to continue. "I don't miss the city, really. I don't miss the expectations and the reputation that must be protected with every decision. I always used to think of my life as a chess game, every single move I made I had to analyse to make sure it didn't make us vulnerable. Now I just think of it as walking a tightrope in heavy winds. I probably won't make it to the end without slipping off, but if I do I'll probably be crippled from trying."

"Wow," I whispered. "What do you mean by slipping off?"

"Everything I'm trying to avoid. Disappointing my parents. Getting kicked out. Going insane, you know."

"What do you miss from home then?"

"My friend. I don't have many, not many I'd consider friends anyway. But there's one, William, who I've known for a long time. He's actually the one that was, you know..."

"Having sex with the secretary on the desk?"

"That's the one. Oh, update on all of that. My parents are trying to transfer me to a new university."

"Seriously? They gave up?"

"Yep. They're looking at one in London. It's not as prestigious, I think they know as well as I do that I've ruined any hope in getting into Oxford or anything, but it means I'll get to live on my own."

"A new start?"

"Yeah."

"Does that scare you?"

"A little. I just don't want to screw it all up again. But at the same time, I think not having them on my back would help."

"London seems pretty big."

"Compared to Sandy Cove it's another planet. Although I can understand, even from being here for only a month, how it seems like the entire world."

I nodded in the darkness. Sandy Cove definitely seemed like that. It was all I knew, which is why it seemed so huge to me.But it made me curious, because he was from somewhere huge. "Why's that?"

He was quiet for a while. "Because I think I've met more genuine and interesting people here than I've met in my whole childhood in Leeds. It's like, a fresh start, but it's more temporary than that. It's like I have to make every day count, rather than occupy them with events or meetings or lectures. It's like I can show people who I am, rather than who I'm supposed to be."

I thought about that, about what it must be like to be growing up into a mould which was precast long before you were born. I meant what I said next. "Well, if that's the case, I think you're a good person."

"You didn't think that when we first met."

"That's because I'm not good at being nice to people. And you were hitting on me."

"Hard not too with an attitude that sweet."

"Shut up." My comment reminded me of what his parents had said at dinner a few nights ago. "I know I'm not supposed to listen to what your parents say, but is it true you had a lot of girlfriends back home?"

He chuckled lightly. "I wouldn't call them girlfriends. In fact, I don't recall ever having a girlfriend."

"Seriously?"

"One-hundred-percent." 

I couldn't believe it. Alastair Sullivan. Gorgeous, rich, charismatic Englishman Alastair Sullivan has never had a girlfriend. I know that's shallow, but it was hard to understand how someone so obviously datable hadn't had a girlfriend before.

"That didn't mean that their impression is unjustified, though," he said a little sheepishly. "They got that idea because I did spend a lot of time with girls, and not the nicest ones."

My nose screwed up at the idea of Alastair having flings with cheap looking girls, like his parents had described. I guess that was what he wanted back when we first met. He wanted me to 'hang out' with him. If I did, if we'd skipped the whole deal and hooked up then, would we still be friends? Would he have moved onto someone else by now? That made me curious. "Have you spent time with anyone here in Sandy Cove?"

"No." I sensed him smile around his words. "Not since I took interest in you. Well, not in that way, but my whole fascination with the deal we had was distracting. Since then... I guess I haven't taken much interest in anyone else here. Maybe it's because making you date someone made me realise I should take it more seriously."

"Maybe you should."

"You can talk."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You want to take it seriously, yet you're dating someone who delights himself with playing games."

I was silent, my jaw locked as I tried to decide if he was trying to strike a nerve or being genuine. It had to be the latter. After all, he was the one who'd encouraged it in the first place. "I think it's just getting out of the habit of bickering. Its how it's always been with us, it's hard to shake."

He was silent for an eternity, so I put another question into the dark space between us. "You seem to have spent time with him, obviously. Do you think... do you think he's taking this seriously? Like I am?"

Silence. Had he fallen asleep? Just as I was about to call his name he spoke. "I don't know. I think he likes you, and maybe cares for you. But I still don't know if he'll ever get over his ego enough to let you in properly. I mean, you've put a lot into opening up to him, but has he opened up to you properly? Has he ever complimented you properly, or taken interest in you genuinely? He just seems to be treating you like a conquest, he got really defensive whenever the other guys brought you up. And I think he hates me."

His words struck me in an annoying way. Mostly because his perceptions perfectly suited Logan's egotistical personality. He'd bragged about dating particular girls in high school. I wanted to confide in Alastair about it all desperately, but I was afraid it would only prove him right. And Alastair might not realise how many little things Logan had done to win me over. Like tailoring a date. Kissing me at the right moment. Buying me a drink that night at the pub.

But it was so easy for that spark to be lit between us, where Logan and I were arguing again or cycling through our never ending routine of getting close and then fracturing the trust between us again, a little more each time. Maybe that's what made it easy for me to let him in. Because I knew it didn't matter if things didn't work out, because that's just how things were between us. We hurt each other, but it never properly hurt.

"Are you still awake?" Alastair asked. His voice was quieter.

"Yeah, sorry. Just thinking."

"For the record." he yawned. "I'm proud of you. For doing all of this in the first place."

"Thanks," I whispered. And then I fell asleep.