When Nick had decided that they had exhausted their every last option with how to help you rid your mind of memories that were never even your own, he was only then beginning to feel desperate. It wasn't when Phil flat-out refused to let you anywhere near TAHITI by threatening to destroy the mechanism, or when the Soldier came to life within you for a few terrifying minutes that left your hand tightly crushing his throat; no, those moments weren't what scared him.

This was the moment right now as you looked at him with vacant eyes, dark and cold but piercing his heart with the knowledge that you were no longer behind them, and that you weren't coming back. Your hands were clenched into tight fists, the muscles of your arms tense with anger and determination to break free of the restraints they had bound you with. The blaring sirens and flashing lights around you only built your resolve to free yourself, and when the barriers snapped to release you, there was no turning back.

"Lock down the building!" Nick barked out the command, taking a stand at the door to block you, his expression filled with regret. "Please, don't make me pull my weapon."

Without saying a word, your actions communicated for you, barging forward and swinging your leg low to catch his knee with a resounding crack that dropped him to the floor in a heap. You had his gun in hand within seconds, turning to fire on anyone who so much as dared to oppose you, including Phil, who had just barely ducked behind a table to safety before he could draw his own gun in defense.

"(Y/N), this isn't you! Please, don't do this!"

As you looked at the man who had been one of your closest friends for years now, your mind screamed at you to recognize him, but the Soldier's memories were too strong and pushed your tiny voice down. The two of you stood at a stalemate, weapons aimed at each other but neither making the move to attack; you didn't want to hurt this man, you knew that in your soul, so instead, you fired at the table close enough to him to make him duck away, giving you the few seconds you needed to run. "You're not my mission," you muttered before leaving his sight.

Phil stood and hurried to Nick's side, stopping only for a second to try to assure him that he was going to make this all stop. "I'll find her, sir. Medics are on the way."

"Coulson-"

"I know," Phil nodded, grabbing his phone and dialing urgently, hoping that the other end of the line would be answered amidst the chaos going on around them. When it was, he was almost at a loss for words in disbelief that this was all really happening. "Captain Rogers..."

"Go."

"Cap...she's coming for you."

~~~

Your first target, before finding Steve's location, was to gather the weapons that you would need to finish the job assigned to you. This one gun in your hand wouldn't be nearly enough to take down the Captain, who would certainly be guarded by any number of agents with several weapons of their own. Ducking quickly around a corner, you waited until a small search party passed by you before hurrying down one of the long corridors to a touch panel outside of one of the few doors in front of you. Tapping your fingers quickly over the screen, you pulled up a schematic of the building, your eyes darting over the information until you found the one room that would give you everything you could need.

"Stop!"

You spun on your heel towards the random voice of a lone agent, who had made the fatal error of trying to take you on alone. He wasn't difficult to kill by any means, not even really a challenge, but if nothing else, he solidified that your aim was still incredibly accurate. To return the favor of his sacrifice, you allowed him a quick death.

~~~

Steve and Bucky had arrived at the facility where you were being held shortly after Tony had, but they had yet to see you for themselves. Steve wanted to give his teammate as much time as he needed to see you for himself and didn't want to interfere, but now with the transformation into the Soldier seemingly complete, he cursed himself for not seeing you one last time before he had to face you this way. He cursed himself for all of it, but no matter how vigilant he was at berating himself, it was nothing compared to what Bucky was doing.

"I have to be the one to stop her," Bucky offered, hurrying towards the door. An agent approached him with a gun in hand, flipping the weapon around to offer it to him but Bucky waved it away in refusal. "No, I'm not shooting her. Keep it."

Steve grabbed his shield from the corner of the room where it sat at rest, securing it to his arm with a heavy sigh of regret at the need to use it, and that you would be the one on the other side. "We go together, Buck. We'll do this together."

"Steve, what are you going to do?" Tony asked urgently, stepping up to his side. "Don't hurt her. She doesn't realize what she's doing."

"I know, Tony."

"Let me get my suit-"

"No," Steve interrupted, putting a hand on his arm to halt him, "no, I don't want you getting into this. You're compromised, Tony. You're not going to think clearly, and you could get hurt. Let us do this. I promise, we'll be careful, and I'll stop anyone who tries to go too far."

Tony groaned at how right the man was, reluctant even now to agree with Steve after everything, but finally relenting and realizing that he knew what was best in this situation; he was compromised, and when it came to you, he might never think clearly. "Fine...you're right."

"Woah," Bucky gasped in surprise, turning to the two, "mark that down."

"Buck, not now."

"No, he's right too," Tony sighed with a shrug. "I need to step back and let you guys take charge, and even though I can't believe that I'm saying this, I...I trust you."

"Holy shit," Bucky whispered, stepping up next to Steve, "what's happening to him?"

Unbeknownst to any of them, just on the other side of the door where Bucky had nearly exited, you stood silently, listening to their banter with closed eyes to visualize the layout of where each man stood. At your feet were two more unfortunate agents who had chosen to take you on, soon to be joined by one more who was just coming into your senses; you didn't even need to open your eyes to hit your mark with precision, and the sound of him crumpling to the ground was all you needed in confirmation.

Turning your focus back to the room before you, you had their positions ready in your mind. There was no reason to go inside and end lives that weren't a part of your directive; if they weren't getting in the way then they were nothing more than a waste of ammunition to you. At the next sound of the Captain's voice, your arm raised in response, your weapon fully ready to act.

"Alright, here's our play-" Steve began, but before he could continue, your shot rang out and he dropped to the floor when the bullet struck him from behind, piercing through the door and into him with amazing accuracy. Tony was the first to react, grabbing his friend just as his body hit the ground.

"Steve!" Bucky yelled and turned towards the door, running through it to find that you were already gone. He frantically looked in every direction, but you were nowhere to be found. "Son of a bitch! Stark!"

"He's got a pulse," Tony panted in a full panic now, his hands pressing firmly into the wound that you had left behind, desperate to stop the blood that was still running through his fingers. "Go, Barnes! I've got this. Go find her before they kill her...please."

"And don't you let him die," Bucky warned with a sharp point and a pained glance, giving Steve one last look before breaking into a sprint and hoping that he had chosen the correct direction to bring him to you. Steve had a plan that he never got to share, and as he ran, Bucky realized that he had no idea what he was going to do if and when he found you. He had refused the weapon offered to him, and you were clearly functioning at peak performance if you had shot Steve through the door with that much precision. It was a skill that he had possessed for so long, and for the first time in years, he felt himself hoping that he still had it too.

Bucky brought himself to a stop and stood in the center of the hallway, closing his eyes so that he could focus on the sounds around him without the interference of his vision. It was a trick that he had used countless times in his past, and it dared to make him amused that you would use it as well; his memories were truly making you very much the same. "Come on, (Y/N), where are you?" he mumbled under his breath, his hearing strained to hear anything that would be a clue. He stood this way for nearly a full minute, being all that he needed to hear the slow and steady rhythm of your breathing; everyone else around him was fueled by adrenaline and fear, but you were a machine now, performing with clear direction and no emotion.

"Your mission is complete," he said calmly, seemingly to an empty hallway. "Your strike on Captain Rogers was successful. Stand down, Soldier."

"Don't come any closer."

Bucky allowed himself a silent breath of relief at the sound of your voice, knowing full well that you would be reading his response as much as he was reading yours. "I said, stand down. Step out to where I can see you. That's an order."

"Who are you to give me orders?"

Now Bucky had no idea what to say. He was doing fairly well at maintaining authority up until now, and he feared that his uncertainty was about to be his own downfall. You were fully armed, and he was an easy target if you chose to challenge him. "I am the Winter Soldier," he said flatly, praying to himself silently that you would accept it. When his only response from you was silence, he took a chance and pushed his feet to take a few steps closer to you. "Your mind is telling you that you are the Soldier, but you're not. You're...you're a copy. You're following orders that were once mine, but I'm here to help you."

"Do not come any closer," you challenged, but the words barely found their sound. Your mind was racing at what Bucky had said, and the confusion that he had put you into was debilitating. If he was the real Soldier, then how were you the Soldier too? He had to be lying to get you under control; but his voice...it was the voice that you kept hearing in your own mind. They were exactly the same.

"Your name is (Y/N) (Y/L/N)," he pressed forward, despite your warning, "you're a healer, not a killer. You're a part of the Avengers. You're not who you think you are right now, (Y/N). Your mind is lying to you."

"Or maybe...maybe you're lying to me."

"I'm not."

"Stop talking," you urged, beginning to feel pangs of pain in your head as your confusion worsened, "just shut up."

Bucky felt the hesitation from you and took his chance, hurrying forward to round the corner where he knew that he would find you, reaching out quickly to grab your arms and pressing them tightly against you so that you couldn't fight back. He held you immobile and pushed to the wall, but you didn't fight him at all; there was an immediate connection that gripped you both, and when your eyes met, something jolted within you and your mind screamed out in agony.

"(Y/N)...what's happening-" he tried, but his words were cut off when his body reacted and tensed, silencing him before he could finish. You tried to wiggle out of his hold but he was too strong and you could barely move. Memories of his life as the Soldier flashed through your mind again just as they did when you took them on, only this time, he was taking them away. You had no idea that connecting with him again would have this result, and now that you knew first-hand what kind of pain he was living with under those memories, you wanted nothing more than to keep them to spare him.

"Bucky, I'm sorry."

In only a matter of seconds, it was done. The life that had taken over you had left, and you were again the person you were supposed to be. There were no memories left of the Soldier within you, and even though you allowed yourself a moment to feel the relief, it was quickly dashed when you met Bucky's eyes again; they were the eyes that you had worn since escaping the med bay shortly before. "Bucky, come back to me, okay? You're not him. Fight what your mind is trying to do." When he responded with a growl and a hand out to grab you, your reflexes didn't fail even in your terror, grabbing a gun from your side and aiming it at his chest to leave him standing motionless.

"Who the hell is Bucky?"

"It's you," you answered, your voice shaking. "You're Bucky. Please...step back. I don't want to do this. You're my friend." You watched your words swirling around in his head as his eyes moved along with the thoughts racing through it, holding your breath in anticipation of what your next action might have to be. Even when a new voice joined into the situation, you never lost your focus.

"(Y/N)! Drop your weapon," Phil ordered, taking slow and measured steps towards you, his own gun up and steady.

"Phil, stay back," you warned, your eyes never leaving Bucky, "he thinks he's the Soldier. I'm okay, he's not armed."

A small group of agents ran up the hallway to stand with Phil, but he was quick to raise a hand to stop them before they came into Bucky's view; neither of you wanted him to feel like he was outnumbered out of fear of his reaction. You didn't want anything to set him off before you could get better control of the situation. "(Y/N), what do you need?"

"Back away."

"You think that I'm not armed?" Bucky smiled; it was devoid of any emotion, but it certainly left you feeling terrified. "You bore this persona and even now you mistake me as unarmed?" His hand thrust forward and gripped your throat, lifting you from the floor and pressing you into the wall with enough force that you dropped your gun to the ground when your hand banged against it. "I don't need weapons. I am a weapon."

"Phil-" you struggled through choked gasps. It wasn't taking long to be robbed of air, your vision beginning to fill with dark spots and your hands starting to grow numb. "Don't...kill him..."

"What?" The Soldier asked, surprised at the realization that he had forgotten that you weren't alone. He was so enthralled in watching you fade away in front of him that he had let his focus shift too far. By the time he turned to see Coulson behind him, the assault was complete and a perfectly planned single shot took him to the ground.