Blame
"Steve, man, you've gotta call Tony," Sam warned, watching Steve hesitate before dialing the number. "This is way bigger than what's going on with you guys. If you don't do it, you know damn well that I'm gonna." He waited patiently for his answer of what Steve would do, standing steady in a striking contrast to the trembling nerves that had taken the confidence from the normally unwavering man in front of him.
"I know," he groaned, "but what do I even say? Hey, Tony, not only am I harboring the guy who killed your parents, but now I've got (Y/N) thinking that it was her because she did something that I never should have asked her to do in the first place? If he ever considered forgiving me for everything that's happened, I've completely shattered that idea now."
"She told you not to do this to yourself. You promised her that you wouldn't take blame for her decision."
"Yeah, well...I lied." Steve's fingers hovered over the numbers, unmoving in his fear as to what he would hear if and when Tony answered. He closed his eyes and pictured the man who he had once called friend, and his heart ached for that easier time; this had become something that he never could have predicted, but he maintained his self-blame that he should have known better than to pursue it. He had been so selfish; it was how he used to see Tony, and the tables had turned so fiercely that they were flipped and splintered in his mind. When he finally took that last breath of decisiveness, his fingertips danced over the screen until the ringing began and he was committed. When the line opened, his fear almost hung it up before he could speak.
"Rogers? Is that you?"
"Y-yeah...hey, Tony..." he stammered quietly, his voice uncharacteristically timid.
"Why are you calling me? What's going on? Did something happen to (Y/N)?"
"Um...well...I'm not sure how to say this...exactly-"
"You spit it out, that's how you do it. Now."
What Steve couldn't see or hear on the other end of the call was that FRIDAY was working at top speed to trace him while Tony was stepping into a suit before he even knew what was happening. But the Captain was a smart man, and he knew that it was inevitable that Stark would be standing face-to-face with him very soon. "She was working with Buck-"
"And? I knew that already. Just cut to the chase, dammit, and tell me what's wrong."
"She cleared his memories, Tony...but in the process, she took them and now...now..." he whimpered into a nervous cough, feeling his throat tighten with each word, "now she thinks that she's the Winter Soldier."
Steve wouldn't hear any more from Tony after that, instead, it was the sound of the line closing that let him know that the conversation was over and that things were about to explode around him. Tony had to be on the way, and he needed to be prepared for whatever he brought with him; Steve had to be prepared to answer for this, even though he could barely understand it himself. He stood from his chair and looked at Sam, whose eyes were wide with anticipation of what was said as he waited for the other shoe to drop as to what was happening.
"He's on the way," Steve told him plainly, "and he's coming for me, so I want you all to leave. It's not going to be safe for you here soon."
"What?" Sam gasped, crossing the room towards his friend. "No, we're not going anywhere. There's no way in hell that we're leaving you here with Stark, especially when he's this pissed off. We've been in this together for this long, and that's not changing now."
"Sam-"
"No, Steve. That's my final say on this. You're obviously not thinking clearly, so this is my decision to make. We stay."
~~~
Since the moment that you broke your connection to him, Bucky had stayed at your side, watching intently and waiting for anything that might need his intervention. As the moments ticked away, agonizingly slowly, the hold that his former memories had on you grew stronger, and you were beginning to take on mannerisms and speech that he found deeply disturbing to be next to; he wouldn't leave, though, as he felt even more responsible than Steve was and even more determined to find a way to undo it.
"Tell me if this is too much," he said softly, his pull on the restraints against your wrists painfully strong in comparison.
"It's fine," you said flatly, "can't be too careful."
"Right."
You wouldn't look at him anymore, and he found that the most concerning of all; he could see that you were growing more distant and cold, and he recognized it before anyone else. Steve had tried to write it off as exhaustion, but Bucky knew. What he didn't know was what to do to make it stop, and if taking it all back was the answer, he was ready to do it in a heartbeat.
"Is there anything I can do?" he asked, taking his seat at your side again. "Anything you need?"
"Figure out how to make this go away," you mumbled softly, more to yourself than to him. "Make me stop seeing this."
"Believe me, (Y/N). I wish I knew how."
You were about to say more when sounds of escalating voices grew from the room at the other end of the hall from where you were being kept. Bucky stood quickly and turned to leave, but realizing that he was forgetting both his manners and that you couldn't just hop up and follow him, he turned back to you and put a hand over yours as he spoke, gently but urgently. "I have to see what that is, okay? But I'll come back as soon as I can."
He was quickly out the door and making his way towards the disruption, leaving you alone in the sterile looking room that was surrounded by mirrors and lights that were far too bright. You felt like a science project, knowing that the mirrors held T'Challa's scientists on the other side working out how to fix you; it was terrifying being a lab rat of sorts, but what terrified you even more were the flashes of images in your mind of how you would kill each and every one of them if given the chance.
The large exam lights hanging over your head didn't help to keep your mind as your own, either. If you closed your eyes, you could see memories that weren't yours, of the first time Bucky raised his new metal hand in front of his face, these same lights creating a disturbing glow from the shine it gave off. You will be the new fist of Hydra, the little man sneered at you, stepping back just before you could take his throat in your hand to crush the life from his voice.
"(Y/N)?"
"What?" you snapped, opening your eyes and turning to find the familiar voice beckoning you. "What the hell do you want? Haven't you done enough?"
"(Y/N), listen to me," Nick answered, hurrying to your side. "I know what's happening, and I'm going to help you. I need you to trust me." His hands moved quickly to the restraints that kept you in place, his head tipping up every few seconds to see if anyone were coming to interrupt him.
"I wouldn't recommend releasing those," you warned, but he kept on.
"We've got the lab secure, sir," Maria joined in, entering from a side door, "but we should hurry. This place has security like nothing we've seen and if they lock us down-"
"Then move faster," he hissed, nodding her towards the door. His hands slipped beneath you and lifted you to him so that he could carry you despite your fight against it, but you were still too weakened from your work with Bucky to be effective in stopping him. "I made a mistake, (Y/N)," Nick continued, "I never should have let you go to Germany. I never should have let you back into this life. I'm so sorry, but I'm going to make it right. I'll find a way to undo this, I promise."
~~~
"What the hell did you do to her?!"
"Tony, calm down," Sam tried first, but the raging glare from Stark made him take a precautionary step back, looking to Steve to take his shot at it.
"Tony, listen, no one knew that this would happen," he tried calmly, "even (Y/N). She insisted that it was her choice to try, even when I asked her to reconsider."
"Oh, I'm sure you tried really hard too, right?" Tony scoffed. "I'm sure you never once flashed those goddamn eyes at her either, and never gave her your bullshit speech about righteousness and forgiveness, did you? Well tell you what, Rogers, none of that forgiveness is ever gonna come from me! I thought about it too, ya know? Before you called me, I had thought about what (Y/N) said before she left, and thought that maybe we could work this all out. When you called, I honestly thought for one second that she had gotten through to you, too, but I should have known better. You don't give a shit about anyone but yourself and that son of a bitch brainwashed friend of yours, do you?"
"Apparently not," Steve conceded, if only to stop the tirade directed at him. He hung his head and cast his gaze away, his posture almost cowering away from Tony as if he could actually be afraid of the man.
"Wow," Tony exhaled heavily, his eyes wide in shock, "I didn't expect that...shit, I think you jarred my brain too hard to think..."
"That's a first."
"Sam," Steve halted his friend cautiously. "Look, Tony, no matter how you feel towards me-"
"I don't feel anything towards you."
"Okay, but still, the only thing I care about right now is figuring out how to make this better. I don't want anything else but to find a way to fix this for (Y/N)."
"I'm pretty sure that she'd agree that you've done enough," he replied coldly, stepping closer until he pushed his way past Steve with a slam of his shoulder, his only goal being the door to the hallway that would lead him to you. The only thing that Tony wanted was to see you for himself, not able to fully believe what was happening until he took it in with his own eyes; he had spent the entire flight there with the picture of you as he last saw you filling his mind and being the only thing that would keep him calm enough to focus. Now, he was completely terrified that he would see someone different in you, and that you wouldn't remember what he meant to you, or you to him. He stopped at the door that would open for him to reach you, and as his hand connected, it pulled open seemingly on its own.
"Stark," Maria warned with a cold expression, "step away please. We're here to take her home where we can monitor her recovery. If you want to know more, you can call Nick." She took a step back into the room and slammed the door in his face, leaving him in such a state of stupor that he couldn't bring himself to move.
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