I know you won't see this.
You left weeks ago. You didn't even say goodbye.
For all I know, you could be dead. And I've been messaging a dead person, hoping they'd reply.
I message you almost every day, begging you to come back. I ask you why you left. I tell you I love and miss you. But I never get a response. All I get is:

Oops, it looks like Alex's phone has been off/disconnected for a while. We'll deliver your message when they connect again.

Every time I see that goddamn message pop up my heart breaks a little. Each day my hopes of you coming back die a little. At first I thought you'd just logged off for a day or something like that. Then that day turned to two. Then three. Then a week. Then two. Now a month.

Each day my brain comes up with more reasons for your disappearance. The worst one used to be that you wanted to breakup, but you're too nice to breakup with me so you left. Started over. It was foolish for me to think someone as amazing as you could ever love someone as awful as me.

But now, I'm worried you didn't just leave me. You left everything. I'll spend hours staring at your profile pages. The most unsettling one is your wattpad. Your bio haunts me. It's only three words, but those three words have successfully torn me apart.

"Dead and gone"

Nothing else. Just those three words and like a thief in the night, you left without a trace. The words echo in my head everyday. It feels like I'm falling to a black abyss, reaching for the light, for you. But I never can grasp the light, because the light left me, and now I'm stuck endlessly falling.

If you are reading this mon petite chou, please know that I love you. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone before. And as each day passes without you, another dagger is driven into my weak little heart.

When you were here you kept me from listening to the awful awful things my brain tells me, but now that you're gone, the awful things are all I have.

I've done a pretty good job of keeping the façade that I'm happy. But I haven't been happy since you left. My life isn't the same without you.

It'll never be the same.

Please come back

Please

I love you.

Always.

forever and always,

Kat💙